


White Dust

by Omnicyde



Series: Chemicals [1]
Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Drug Withdrawal, F/F, Family Issues, Rehabilitation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2020-12-14 05:38:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 55
Words: 140,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21010625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Omnicyde/pseuds/Omnicyde
Summary: Victoria can't cope with what she's done.The powder makes her feel better.Until it doesn't.





	1. Friday

**October 11th, 2013**

Victoria Chase always knew what to do.

Except for today.

_I did this._

She was watching the video again. The one of Kate making a complete fool of herself. The religious girl’s smile was weak; her eyes, glassy; her breathing, ragged, as she sloppily made out with one football player after another. The video eventually got to her sitting on Courtney’s lap, the black-haired girl laughing as Kate grinded against her.

When Victoria had seen Kate at that party, she’d thought it was funny as hell. The uptight little girl dropping her inhibitions, getting drunk for what was probably the first time in her life, and going way too far. Putting the video on the internet had been Victoria’s way of showing the world that everyone had a wild side. And if it got little Miss Marsh to lay off her religious bullshit for a while, then all the better.

Now the video made her sick.

_So why the fuck am I watching it?_

Victoria clenched her fists, her nails digging into her palms until it hurt, as she watched Kate make out with Zach Riggins, clearly unaware of where she was or what she was doing.

She should’ve known better. Nobody got that trashed off one glass of wine.

Victoria couldn’t watch anymore. She slapped the laptop closed, the sound cutting out abruptly and leaving her in a dark and silent dorm room.

Her phone vibrated on the desk again. Probably Taylor, wondering where she was. The blonde had knocked on her door several times throughout the day, though Victoria hadn’t answered. She wasn’t in a mood to been seen by anyone right now; all she wanted to do was sit in her room and remain as invisible as possible.

It had been less than ninety-six hours since her best friend had killed that girl in the bathroom. That blue-haired skank… what she was even doing on Blackwell grounds, nobody could say. Victoria had been in the hall nearby, and had heard the sound of Nathan’s gun going off. She’d heard that little Seattle hipster, Max Caulfield, screaming. The security guard, what’s-his-face, howling in despair; she hadn’t even known that the little delinquent was his step-daughter.

Everything had come crashing down after that. Nathan confessed to the murder of that other bitch, Rachel Amber. And how Mark… Mister Jefferson was some kind of fucking serial killer. By the end of the next day, the rumor mill was flying with stories of the secret bunker on Prescott’s land.

And as week progressed, everyone found out about the photos of Kate Marsh. Taken by that fucking psychopath, time-stamped from the night of the party. Where Victoria had taken video of her while she clearly was not sober. And spread all over the internet and social media.

Victoria reached into her desk drawer and retrieved the bottle of Grey Goose. It was sitting right on top; she never bothered to hide it, since no one was brave enough to go through her room. She unscrewed the cap and took a long swig, feeling the burn of the alcohol going down her throat.

_Fuck._

She wasn’t even sure what she felt.

Remorse? Fuck that. She hadn’t dosed Kate. Nathan had admitted to doing it.

Pity? No goddamn way. She was certainly no stranger to doing stupid stuff while drunk.

Guilt?

_I didn’t fucking do anything wrong._

The world disagreed. She didn’t even want to get on Facebook. The hatred and vitriol was filling her inbox faster than she could delete it. Her Twitter and Instagram were more of the same. She couldn’t remember the last time she spent so long away from social media.

Even worse, there was nothing she could do. She’d deleted the video from her YouTube channel, but it had spread beyond her control. It had been re-posted a couple of times, and while she had tried to report it to YouTube, they hadn’t done anything about it yet. And other sites had picked it up as well.

She took another drink of the vodka as she sat in the dark.

Her phone buzzed again.

_Fuck off._

Another drink. And another. And another.

Victoria had drained a quarter of the bottle before she finally screwed the cap back on. She stood on shaky legs and made her way to her bed, flopping on top of it with her clothes still on.

The cops had talked to her on Thursday. Well, they’d tried. As soon as her father had heard about what happened, he’d hired the best defense attorney in Oregon to come down to Arcadia Bay and keep his daughter out of jail. The police had spent a few hours frustrated by her lawyer’s refusal to allow her to answer questions.

Of course, the entire school had heard about that, too.

When she’d finally gone back to her room, the dry-erase board next to her door was covered in angry messages. Phrases like “fuck Victoria Chase” and “way to hide behind your money” hadn’t hurt as much as the bold text in the middle that stated, simply, “you’re just as bad as he was”.

_Fuck them. I didn’t kill anybody._

But she’d come close. She knew she’d come close. Just because everyone hated her didn’t mean she was out of the loop. She knew that the school psychologist had gone to see Kate, after the pictures had become public knowledge. And she’d heard about the suicide note he’d found in Kate’s trash can. Her next-door neighbor had been in the hospital since Wednesday.

As she lay in bed and tried to stop thinking, she heard footsteps outside her door. She lay still, not making a sound.

“You think she’s in there?”

Stella Hill. Mousy little girl from Jefferson’s class.

“Probably not. I bet Daddy squirreled her away to some country in Europe or wherever.”

Brooke Scott. Nerdy girl who had a crush on Warren.

“You think so?”

“Who knows? Nobody’s seen her in two days. And at this point, I don’t give a fuck. She can rot in hell for all I care.”

“Hey, I’m not gonna complain either. But that’s not why we’re here. Come on.”

A knocking sound reached Victoria’s ears. Not on her door, though. On the door across the hall.

Nothing happened. The knocking repeated.

The other door finally opened. “Hey guys,” a small voice greeted them.

“Hey, Max.” Brooke’s voice adopted a kinder tone, like she was talking to a wounded child. “How are you feeling?”

Max had barely left her room, either. Plenty of people had knocked on her door, though.

“Mm.”

“Have you been eating, Max? You don’t look good.”

“I… yea. Sure.”

“Max, come on. We’re worried about you.”

“I’m not very hungry, Stella.”

“Right… look, Max, we wanted to come get you for the vigil.”

“The what?”

_The what?_

“Dana organized a candlelight vigil in front of the main entrance,” Brooke explained. “For Chloe. A bunch of people are over there now. We figured you’d want to be there, too.”

Victoria glanced across the dark room at the phone on her desk. _I wonder if that’s what Taylor is texting me about?_

“That’s… really nice of her.”

“Yea. They just started. And Kate’s there, too. She just got released from the hospital, and was asking about you, if you were okay.” Stella paused. “We’re worried about you, Max. Please come with us.”

Nobody spoke for a few seconds.

“... yea, okay.”

Brooke and Stella both sighed. Victoria could hear rustling, presumably from Max getting ready, then the door closed.

“Wow.”

“What?”

“Victoria’s board.”

“Oh. Yea, fuck her.”

“Is she at the vigil?”

Brooke snorted. “That bitch? She knows better than to show her face around there. At least, she should.”

“Where is she?”

“Nobody knows. Or cares. Come on, forget about her.”

The footsteps retreated down the hall, and Victoria breathed again.

_Fuck it. I need a pick-me-up._

Victoria got up and went to her closet, reaching up to the top shelf and moving a few photography books before pulling down a small cigar box. She set it on her desk and opened it, retrieving the small baggies of white powder.

She normally saved it for when she went out with the girls. Especially on a Friday, after she’d gotten up early for classes and was in the mood to party all night; nothing got you pumped like a little bit of coke. But now…

_Just a little bit._

Victoria dumped a small amount of the powder on the table, careful not to use too much; Frank had most likely been arrested, or had skipped town, and she didn’t want to run out before finding another supplier. She worked the razor blade with a practiced hand, forming the powder into a line before she retrieved the small straw from the box.

Plugging her other nostril, she lowered her face to the table and quickly snorted the line of cocaine.

Her nose burned, for a minute. She moved to sit back on her bed as the drug hit her system, and she started to feel better. Her eyes closed as she let the effects of the drug wash over her, and she felt like less of a piece of shit.

Victoria lay back down. There was no sleeping, that was for sure; nobody used coke to get a good night's rest. But the euphoria elevated her mood somewhat, and she could appreciate that for a little while.

Until she heard the knocking on her door.

“Vic?”

_God damn it, Taylor, not now._

“Vic, I know you’re in there.” Taylor paused. “Your car is in the lot, and I saw the movement in your window when I was outside.”

_Fuck._

“Come on, Vic, please open the door. I’m… look, don’t make me get security to see if you’ve hung yourself or something.”

Victoria sighed, as she glanced at her desk, the baggie and razor still sitting out. The last thing she needed was Blackwell security to see it. Or find her in the state she was in. She slowly got to her feet and unlocked the door, pulling it open.

Taylor stood on the other side, a look of relief coming over her face as she lay eyes on Victoria. “Finally,” she breathed. “Vic-" 

“Just come inside,” Victoria interrupted.

Taylor hesitated, then followed her into the room, shutting the door behind her. She glanced around the darkened room, her eyes settling on the desk. “Vic…”

“I’m fine, Taylor.” Victoria sat back down on her bed, rubbing her eyes. “What do you want?”

“You’re not fine.” Taylor crossed her arms. “How long has it been since you left your dorm room?”

Victoria shrugged. “Since I got back from the meeting with my father’s lawyer?”

“That was yesterday.” A worried look came over Taylor’s face. “I know you don’t keep food in here. Have you eaten anything since then?”

“What do you WANT, Taylor?” Victoria repeated in an annoyed voice.

“To make sure you’re sustaining yourself on more than vodka, Vic!” Taylor shot back. “I’ve barely seen you. I want to make sure you’re okay, and that you aren’t starving to death.” She gestured angrily towards the desk. “Come on. Put that shit away, and let’s go get some real food.”

Victoria glanced at her door. “Has the lynch mob gone to bed yet?”

“There is not a lynch mob after you, Vic.”

“You clearly weren’t paying attention to my board when you knocked on my door.”

“Ooh, people don’t like Victoria Chase.” Taylor waved her hands sarcastically. “Do you think my dry-erase board isn’t covered in the same shit? Or Courtney’s? We’re still walking around campus.”

“You two didn’t shoot that video.”

“No, we just stood right next to you and laughed. And shared it on social media. And called Kate a bible-thumping whore when the teachers weren’t looking. You’re not the only one who feels like a cunt.”

Victoria didn’t reply.

“Come on.” Taylor extended her hand. “Let’s go get some real food. We’ll go off-campus and get away from everyone for a little while.”

Victoria sighed. “Fine,” she muttered. She was pretty hungry. Something to soak up the vodka would be nice, too. She let Taylor drag her upright, and she quickly put away the cocaine. Taylor didn’t say a word as she stashed the cigar box back in her closet, before she left her room for the first time in over 24 hours.

Her board hadn’t gotten much better, that was the first thing she noticed. If anything, it had gotten worse. New messages were written in the corners. “I, uh, tried to wipe it off…” Taylor started.

“They used permanent marker.” Victoria gave a half-hearted shrug.

“Oh.” Taylor didn’t say anything else as they walked out of the building.

The cool weather felt nice on her skin. Victoria took a second to breath in the evening air, before she looked around. “Is everyone at that vigil?” she asked, noting the empty campus.

“Yea.” Taylor nodded. “I figured we’d run into less people this way. Come on, we’re going to the side parking lot. We won’t see any of the others.”

Victoria nodded as she followed Taylor, the two girls walking the paved pathway towards the smaller parking lot behind the dorms. As the got to the corner of the building, though, two familiar shapes appeared, walking back towards the dorms.

Alyssa. And right behind her was Juliet, talking her ear off. “... pictures would be nice, to put them in the school newsletter.”

“That’s a…” the conversation trailed off as Alyssa noticed the other two girls. Taylor and Victoria hesitantly stopped, to avoid running into them.

_Dammit._

“Oh, look, the great Victoria Chase has chosen to grace the campus with an appearance,” Alyssa sneered. “I guess I owe Brooke twenty bucks.”

“Fuck you,” Victoria snapped, her cheeks coloring. The previous week, she knew that Alyssa wouldn’t have dreamed of talking to her. She only had balls now because hating her was the cool thing to do.

“Sorry, I try not to fuck things that don’t have souls,” Alyssa countered.

“Alyssa, come on.” Juliet took the other girl’s bicep in her hand and tried to pull her away. “We need to get our cameras.”

“Ignore them, Vic, let’s go.” Taylor tried to pull Victoria away, too.

“Oh, yea? Go where?” Alyssa scoffed. “I’m sure it’s not to the vigil, to remember the girl your boyfriend killed. Or to apologize to the girl you almost drove to suicide.”

“I didn’t make her do anything!” Victoria turned, trying to fight out of Taylor’s grip. “Don’t put that shit on me! I didn’t do anything!”

Alyssa’s eyes narrowed. “Are you fucking for real?!” she snapped. “Are you so far up your own twat that you don’t even think you had anything to do with Kate almost killing herself?!”

“Come ON!” Taylor pulled at Victoria’s arm, trying to get her away from the other girl.

“The whole fucking world knows that Kate was drugged at YOUR fucking party!” Alyssa kept yelling. “You were fucking happy enough to tell everyone before! You bitches were the ones that almost pushed her onto the roof!”

“I didn’t make her drink anything!” Victoria yelled back. “I didn’t dose her! I had nothing to do with that!”

“That we know of,” Alyssa replied angrily. “How sloppy was the blow job you gave your boyfriend to take the fall for you?”

Victoria snapped. She surged forward, tearing free of Taylor’s grip, and swung her right hand straight into Alyssa’s face. Juliet and Taylor both screamed as her fist made contact with Alyssa’s nose with a solid CRUNCH. The larger girl rocked back, falling onto the ground with a yell of pain.

The blonde wasn’t finished. Fueled by the anger, and the cocaine, Victoria leapt on top of Alyssa, smashing her fist into her face over and over. She got several good hits in before she felt Taylor’s arms wrap around her waist and yank her free, as her friend carried her away from Alyssa.

“ALYSSA!” Juliet ran over to check on her, shaking the larger girl’s shoulder. Alyssa only moaned in response. “Alyssa, don’t move, I’m going to get you some help!”

“FUCK YOU!!” Victoria yelled as she struggled against Taylor.

“Victoria, shut the fuck up!” Taylor yelled. “Come on!”

The last Victoria saw as Taylor dragged her around the corner was Juliet with her phone to her ear, as she called 911.

* * *

“This is COMPLETELY unacceptable, Victoria!” 

Victoria was sitting across from her parents on the couch in their Seattle loft two days later. She didn’t speak, letting them yell themselves out.

“Do you have ANY idea how much trouble you’re in?!” Her mother exclaimed. “The lawyers have been on their phones all week, trying to keep you out of jail!”

“That girl wanted to press charges for assault and battery,” her father added angrily. “You can consider yourself very lucky that she took our settlement instead. Do you know how much that cost?!”

“I’m sure it was a terrible hit to your precious bank account,” Victoria muttered.

Her father’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t want to hear a single word out of your mouth that isn’t ‘sorry’, young lady.”

Victoria bristled. She hated when her parents called her that, and they knew it. She chose to stew in silence.

“Members of this family do NOT get into fights,” her mother lectured. “But that isn’t even what we’re the angriest about.” She glared at her daughter. “The lawyers told us what they found in your room, when they had the movers go get your stuff. Do you want to tell us where you got the drugs they found?”

“It wasn’t mine,” Victoria replied confidently. “It was a friend’s.”

Her father scoffed, crossing his alarms. “Victoria Maribeth Chase, exactly how stupid do you think we are?” he asked. “You know what circles we move in. How much money we make. Do you think your mother and I can’t tell when someone’s using drugs?”

“Even if we didn’t, it doesn’t matter,” her mother continued. “The doctor tested your blood when he fixed your hand.”

Victoria jerked her head around towards her mother, her hand tightening through the cast; in her fight with Alyssa, she’d fractured two bones in her fingers. “You had me drug-tested?!”

“You’re goddamn right we did!” Her father retorted. “There were drugs in your room, so we asked Doctor Greene to check. He found cocaine, marijuana, Vicodin, and OxyContin in your system.” He glared. “We sent you to that school to learn, NOT waste our family’s money on narcotics!”

She changed tactics. “I was just trying it!” Victoria objected. “I was experimenting! Everyone in high school does it!”

“You’re a Chase,” her father shot back. “We’re not ‘everyone’.”

“And Doctor Greene said the levels in your system are evident of a habitual user,” her mother added. “Is this an issue we need to deal with, young lady?" 

“NO!” Victoria immediately yelled. “I do NOT have a problem!”

Her father sighed. “It doesn’t matter. You’re not going back to that school.”

“DAD!!”

“We’ve worked out an arrangement with Principal Wells,” he continued, ignoring her outburst. “He’s going to send your classwork to us here, in Seattle. A private tutor will help you with your lessons, so we can keep a closer eye on you. You’ll still graduate from Blackwell Academy with honors.”

Victoria seethed. “What the hell?! I didn't do anything wr-”

“We know all about that girl and the video you posted online. And we know what the student body thinks about you." Her mother folded her arms. "We’re not going to put you in a position where we have to pay MORE out-of-court settlements.”

“But-”

“This decision is final.” Her father glared at her. “Your belongings were brought back from Arcadia Bay this morning. I suggest you go unpack them. Your tutor will be here to start your lessons tomorrow.”

There was no use arguing with her parents. Once their minds were made up, there was no deterring them. Victoria silently stood and left the room, making her way upstairs and slamming the door behind her.

Several cardboard boxes were on the floor in her rather spacious room. She ripped them open, rifling through their contents until she found what she was looking for; her books on fashion.

She selected one of them and opened it, revealing the neat cutout she’d made for her emergency stash. Two small balloons were tucked neatly into the small hole near the spine.

_Fuck them and their elitist upper-class bullshit,_ she thought angrily as she took one and dug her pinkie finger inside. She carefully lifted it, the white power dusting the inside of her nail, brought it to her nose and quickly snorted it.

_Fuck them._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you might have come here straight from my last chapter of We Were All Affected.
> 
> I'll be real here. When I started posting the First Light fics, they were already something like 90% done. That was why they updated so frequently; most of the chapters were written months in advance.
> 
> That's not the case here. This fic is MAYBE 50% done. So updates are going to take longer. Don't expect to see chapter two for a couple of weeks.
> 
> Pricefield is my jam, but Chasefield is a close second (Thirty-Two Rejection Letters, anyone?). So I thought I'd try something new for this one. Hopefully I don't disappoint anyone.


	2. UCLA

**2016**

“Vic!” 

“Mrm.”

“Vic!”

“Hrgh.”

“VIC!!”

The blonde struggled to peel her eyes open. “Huh? What the fuck is...” her voice trailed off, as her eyes started drooping again.

Two hands grabbed her shoulder and shook fiercely. “Vic! You need to get the hell up!”

Victoria finally opened her eyes and looked up at Courtney’s frustrated face. Her dorm roommate at UCLA stood with her hands on her hips, glaring at her as Victoria checked her alarm clock; it was just after eleven in the morning. “Why?” she muttered, yawning and rubbing her eye. “It’s Sunday. I don’t have anything until-”

“It’s MONDAY!!” Courtney yelled. “Our Mid-Term exam was two hours ago!”

_Shit, what the hell? _Victoria struggled to sit up. _I swear it was Saturday night when I fell asleep._

“Damn it.” Victoria slowly swung her feet off the side of the bed, taking a deep breath as she tried to ignore the pounding in her head. She looked up at her roommate with angry eyes. “Why the hell didn’t you wake me up?!”

“Because I was at the library studying all night!” Courtney retorted. “And I’m not your fucking servant!”

_I liked her a lot better when she was doing all my homework and trying to impress me._

“Do you have any idea how pissed Professor Jenkins is?!” Courtney continued on her rant. “He’s already given you more extensions and make-up work than the students who actually bother to show up! I don’t think he’s going to let you take the Mid-Term at this point!”

“Sure he will.” Victoria scoffed as she put her fingers on her temples and started rubbing in small circles. “With the amount of money my family donates to this school, he’ll let me do it if he values his-”

“You didn’t see him when the test was over,” Courtney fumed. “I don’t think your father’s money is going to help you this time. You’ve got enough absences that he can mark you as ‘incomplete’. You need to go see him right now and work something out.”

Victoria sighed. “Yea, yea,” she muttered as she reached for her night stand and grabbed her purse. “Fine, I’ll go take care of it.”

“Good. And you’d better hurry, because he was really-” Courtney stopped speaking as Victoria pulled out a small baggie. “Oh, come on, Vic! What the fuck?!”

“Not now, Court.”

“You said you were done with that shit!”

“I also said not now,” Victoria snapped as she opened the bag. “My head is killing me, and I’m tired.”

“Let me guess, is it because you spent yesterday coked out of your fucking mind?!” Courtney snatched the baggie from Victoria’s hand. “Get your shit together and maybe try going to see a professor sober for once!”

“I am NOT going to beg for an extension looking like the second half of the Hangover movie.” Victoria glared at Courtney. “Give it back.”

Courtney held it behind her. “Tell Jenkins you were sick or something. You’re not doing blow just to wake the fuck up.” 

Victoria stood up, her face flushing in anger. “Give it the fuck back, Courtney!”

“No.” Courtney glared back. “I’m not letting you cram more shit up your nose so you can turn into a functioning coke-head. Maybe if you-”

Like a flash of lightning, Victoria grabbed Courtney’s arm, twisting it to get to the baggie behind her back. Courtney reacted by lowering her shoulder and shoving against Victoria’s chest, switching the baggie to her other hand while she continued to hold it out of the blonde’s reach. The two girls quietly but furiously wrestled for several minutes, Victoria struggling to reach the bag while Courtney did her best to keep it away from her.

They finally ended up on the floor, Victoria’s height giving her a slight advantage. She wound up sitting on Courtney’s stomach, using both hands to try and pry open her friend’s fist. Courtney, however, had the baggie gripped tightly, fingers white with effort to keep her hand closed.

Finally, exhausted and mad, Victoria let go of Courtney’s hand for a moment and delivered a sucker-punch to her friend’s face.

Courtney cried in pain, finally loosening her grip on the baggie, allowing Victoria to take it from her and scramble to her feet.

Victoria stood, panting with exertion as Courtney curled into a ball on the floor and clutched her face with both hands. The dark-haired girl let out a quiet sob, eyes squeezed shut as blood seeped from between her fingers. Victoria finally dug her pinkie finger into the bag, quickly snorting a pinch of the white powder.

She took a deep breath, immediately feeling better. “I’m gonna go see Jenkins,” she stated, grabbing her shoes and sliding them onto her feet. She didn’t bother changing out of her wrinkled clothes. “Don’t touch my shit.”

“Fuck…” Courtney drew in a ragged breath. “... you…”

“Whatever.” Victoria stuffed the bag into her pocket, slamming the door as she let the dorm room.

* * *

Derek Chase rubbed his forehead as he listened to his lawyers. 

His day had actually started out well, with good reports from the VP of Sales. He’d be able to announce another consecutive quarter of substantial earnings. And he’d gotten word from the British company they’d been in negotiations with, to let them know that they’d accepted their offer.

Then his personal attorneys had asked for an unscheduled meeting in his office.

Victoria. It was always Victoria.

“Then what?” he asked wearily, not wanting to know the answer.

“After Professor Jenkins told her that he would not allow her to make up the exam, Victoria shoved his laptop off of his desk and started screaming at him,” one of his lawyers continued. He stopped talking briefly, examining the email on his phone. “Jenkins told her to leave, which is when she grabbed the coffee mug off his desk and threw it at his head. The hot liquid gave him some mild burns to his face. He was treated at the local ER and released.”

“What about Courtney?”

“X-Rays confirmed a broken nose.” The lawyer shook his head. “Victoria apparently hit her pretty hard, because the doctors think they might have to perform a procedure to fix it. She’s still in the hospital.”

“Christ.” Derek exhaled slowly, turning to the other lawyer. “And the school?”

The woman shook her head. “I’m sorry, Mister Chase, but UCLA is standing firm. They were willing to look past her academic performance, but they won’t turn a blind eye towards an assault on a teacher and another student.” She paused. “They do, however, recognize your contributions to the school and your patronage. So they’re offering the opportunity to voluntarily withdraw Victoria from classes, rather than moving forward with expulsion proceedings.”

“Please do so.” Derek rubbed his face. “Have you made settlement offers to the professor and Courtney?”

“We did. Professor Jenkins accepted, and signed the non-disclosure. Miss Wagner did not.”

“How much more does she want?”

“Nothing,” the woman replied, “Miss Wagner doesn’t want anything, and she refuses to let the lawyers meet her in the hospital. She is very adamant that she wants nothing more to do with Victoria, or your family.”

“And who could blame her?” Derek sighed as he stood, walking to the window. The lights of the Space Needle blinked through the evening sky as he took in the view from his high-rise office in downtown Seattle, hands clasped behind his back. “Where is Victoria now?”

The first lawyer checked his phone again. “Still in custody of UCLA Police, as of an hour ago,” he informed him. “She’ll be released to another attorney soon, after which we’ll put her on a plane to Sea-Tac.”

“It’s Blackwell all over again.” He turned back around. “If we withdraw her, will she still be able to take classes here in Washington?”

“Possibly. She may have avoided an expulsion, but there will still be a record of the incident. Significant... persuasion,” he said, emphasizing the word carefully, “would likely be necessary to get a school to accept her.”

“Online classes might be best, for now,” the female lawyer offered. “Maybe have her do some school up here, where you can keep a closer eye on her. Once she accumulates an acceptable number of credits, she can easily transfer to WSU.”

Derek nodded. “How long do you think that will take?”

“It depends on her, and what she keeps her GPA at.” The second lawyer scratched her nose. “She has a few credits from UCLA, they’ll transfer well enough, but her GPA is barely above a two-point-oh.”

“Won’t that put her too far behind for her age?”

“Not necessarily.” The lawyer shrugged. “She’s only twenty. She has plenty of time to make up for her work. Especially if she wants to be a photographer.”

The first lawyer leaned forward. “Mister Chase, if I can address the elephant in the room…”

“I know. The drugs.” Derek looked at him. “How much trouble is she in?”

“She was only holding a small amount; not enough to be worth a prosecutor’s time, thankfully. But possession alone would be an automatic expulsion.” He nodded. “We got her out of that, since she’s leaving anyway. UCLA will ignore it so long as she doesn’t come back. And the California lawyers will make sure there won’t be any criminal proceedings.”

“Rehab might be the best course of action, at this point,” the other lawyer added. “I know you’re not a fan…”

Derek sighed. “Is there another option?”

“We can get a private counselor, to help her at home. Do you want her to stay at your penthouse?”

“No. I bring clients there. I don’t want them to see her.”

“Then I suggest the condo in Georgetown.” The lawyer gestured out the window. “It’s a pretty drug-free area, very low crime. Perhaps we can hire a Sober Companion to live with her.”

Derek nodded. “Make it happen.”

A phone buzzed. “She’s been released,” the lawyer said as he read the message. “She’s being brought to the airport right now. Do you want to see her when she lands?”

“Not today.” Derek looked back outside. “My wife and I have a dinner we can’t miss. Just… get her to the condo. I’ll see her later.”

The two lawyers stood silently, leaving the office and getting on the elevator. Neither of them spoke as they rode the car down to the parking level and got into their company car.

“You know that a Sober Companion isn’t going to work,” the man said as he buckled his seatbelt. “Not for her.”

“It might,” the woman replied, not as convincingly as she would have liked. “And in any case, it was the only other option to offer him. Why wouldn’t he want her in rehab?”

The man scoffed, as he started the car. “You’ll learn quickly, when it comes to these one-percenters. None of them really know how to deal with problem children.”

“But-”

“Think about it. Mister Chase has spent most of his life hard at work, getting to where he is now. He’s on the road three weeks a month. How well do you think he REALLY knows his own kid?”

The woman hummed as she considered that information. “You think we should have pushed him for rehab?”

“No. That wouldn’t have gotten us anywhere. These people gossip like crazy, they think sending a kid to rehab makes them look week, and he doesn’t want the hit to his reputation.” The man shrugged, as he shifted and pulled out of the parking space. “We’ll do as he asked. Get her to the condo, and try to keep her out of trouble. Fair warning, though…”

“What?”

“Victoria’s been in a holding cell for about twelve hours now. Which means it’ll have been at least that long since she’s had a fix. That girl is going to be a ball of anger when she gets off that plane.”


	3. The Necklace

**2018**

Victoria rubbed her eyes, trying to ignore the throbbing in her head as she stared at her computer screen.

_Just one more page,_ she thought miserably. _One more page. Marcus will be here in an hour. I can be finished before then._

She hated her online schoolwork almost as much as her classes at UCLA. But at least she could sleep in. Her stupid “sober companion” wasn’t too much of a hard-ass, now that he didn’t live with her anymore. Victoria sighed internally as she hammered out a paragraph for the essay she’d spent the past three days writing.

_Two years later, and I’m barely done with the electives,_ she griped to herself. _A few more classes to go, before I can try to transfer to WSU. If I can manage to salvage this GPA, anyway._

_Whatever. Just because your dad got Magna Cum Laude doesn’t mean you have to._

She stretched, sipping from her coffee cup and savoring the taste. It was almost empty, so she took a few moments to re-fill it.

_Fifty minutes. _She closed her eyes and took another slow sip from the cup. _God, I hope Marcus is on time. Last week was fucking-_

A knocking at her door interrupted her thoughts. _What the hell? _She frowned as she glanced over. Marcus was a lot of things, but he was never early. Victoria picked up her phone and activated the doorbell camera, checking to see who it was.

A familiar head of blonde hair filled the screen as Taylor pounded on the wood again. Victoria had gone to her old friend’s apartment to visit with her yesterday; unlike her, Taylor had actually done well in school and graduated on time with a degree in business management. They’d talked for close to three hours before Victoria had left.

“Vic! Open up!”

_Oh, Christ. _Victoria stayed silent. She was always happy to see Taylor, especially since they didn’t talk that much. Not since Blackwell. But Victoria didn’t want to talk to her right now. Not when she was expecting Marcus in fifty minutes.

“VIC!! I know you’re home! Open the door!”

_Please, God, go away._

Taylor didn’t leave. She glanced around, flipping the welcome mat up and checking inside the potted plants outside Victoria’s door.

_Oh shit, oh shit, please don’t find it…_

She finally lifted the pot and felt underneath it, producing Victoria’s emergency key.

_FUCK!_

Victoria scrambled to get to the door, to throw the dead bolt, but it was too late. Taylor unlocked the door and shoved it open just as Victoria got there.

Yesterday Taylor had been happy to see her. It had been several months since they’d caught up, and they’d spent the visit laughing and chatting. Today, though, Taylor’s face was a mask of fury.

She immediately grabbed Victoria’s shirt and yanked her close, so she couldn’t run away. “Where is it?!” she demanded. “I want it back!! Where the FUCK is it?!”

“I-” Victoria struggled, but Taylor had an unbreakable grip. “I don’t know! Tay, what are you-”

“Don’t lie to me!” Taylor’s eyes flashed angrily. “Where the fuck did you hide it?”

“What? I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“MY MOM’S NECKLACE!!” Taylor screamed in Victoria’s face. “I know you took it! Where is it!?”

“What- I didn’t take anything!” Victoria said desperately. “Tay, I would never-”

“I put it in my drawer before you came yesterday! Nobody else has been in my apartment! It was gone this morning! I know you went through my room, you fucking liar!”

“Tay, I didn’t-”

“FUCK YOU!!” Taylor shoved Victoria. Hard.

She flew backwards into the wall, the back of her head slamming into the drywall hard enough to see stars. Victoria slid to the floor in a heap as her vision swam around her.

“Tay…” She tried to push herself upright, but her strength failed her as she tried to recover from the blow to the head. “Tay, I swear…”

Taylor ignored her. She stormed towards Victoria’s purse, sitting on the desk next to her laptop, and ripped it open. The contents fell on the ground in the middle of the room; makeup, a wallet, a comb, some tampons… and in the middle of the pile was the gold necklace and crucifix, glinting amongst the contents.

She barely looked at Victoria as she snatched it from the floor. “I FUCKING knew it,” she fumed angrily as she inspected it, before she glared at Victoria. “You fucking…”

Victoria grunted in pain. “Tay, I swear, I just-”

“It’s my MOM’S necklace, you fucking BITCH!!” Taylor raged. “Jesus Christ, Courtney was fucking right about you!”

“Tay-”

“Don’t fucking ‘Tay’ me! Not after I defended you to her! I told Courtney you were doing better! And now this?!” She shook the necklace in her hand. “The ONLY fucking thing my mom didn’t sell to pay for her chemo! Let me guess, you have a dealer coming and you don’t have cash, since your parents cut you off?!”

That hit like a punch in the chest. Victoria still remembered the disappointed look on her father’s face when he found out she’d ditched her companion a few times to get loaded. He decided to make it harder by limiting her access to his money, since she didn’t make any of her own.

Victoria sniffed, her eyes getting wet. “Taylor, I’m-”

“Yea, you are.” Taylor looked at her, disgusted, her eyes flashing at the coffee cup. And the half-empty bottle of Grey Goose sitting next to it. “Don’t fucking call me again.”

“Tay, wait-”

She didn’t wait. Her friend stormed out of her apartment, slamming the door behind her.

Victoria wanted to get up. To go after her. But her head was still thumping, exacerbating the burning need within her. She struggled to get up, but failed, so she settled for momentarily resting against the wall.

_... fucking fuck._

* * *

“Girl, you said you was good for this.” 

Victoria crossed her arms, trying to look intimidating to the man standing in her condo an hour later. “I AM good for it.”

“No, you’re not.” Marcus scoffed, far from impressed; not much fazed her dealer. “You said you’d have enough. I told you before, I don’t do IOUs; cash or gold, that’s it.”

“Take the TV,” Victoria offered, gesturing towards it. “I don’t watch it anyway.”

“Fuck that. I can’t offload shit with serial numbers, either.” Marcus shook his head as he straightened the Seahawks hoodie he always wore. “I’m out of here.”

“Come on, Marcus, you know I’m good for it! When have I ever not paid?" 

“Today, apparently.” He turned and made to leave.

“What do you want?!” Victoria was desperate. She hadn’t gotten a fix for a few days, and she could feel the familiar headache. “Come on, Marcus, I’m not fucking around here! I need something! What's it gonna take?!”

Marcus looked back at her, glancing up and down.

“How desperate are you?” he finally asked.

“Why?”

“‘Cause I’m gonna be honest, snowflake.” He gave her a half smirk. “You only got one thing I want.”

Victoria didn’t reply as he lowered the fly on his jeans. 

* * *

She furiously brushed her teeth half an hour later. She’d been brushing for almost twenty minutes, while she pointedly didn’t look in the mirror.

Victoria finally stopped, feeling her bloody gums with her tongue as she put the toothbrush aside and grabbed the bottle of mouthwash, taking a swig. She swished it around a few times, finally spitting it back out, before she grabbed either side of the sink and took several deep breaths with her eyes closed.

Then she flipped up the toilet lid and threw up.

When she was finished, she sat down on the edge of the bathtub, spitting into the toilet before she flushed it. She grabbed the bottle of vodka on the floor and took a sizable gulp. Then another. Then she got up to brush her teeth again.

A baggie of white powder from Marcus was sitting on her counter as she left the bathroom. All she could think of was the pounding in her head as she sat down and grabbed a razor, before she stopped and looked at herself in the mirrored surface of the coffee table.

The bags under her eyes were incredibly noticeable. So was the state of her hair; she hadn’t brushed it recently, so it was pretty rats-nested. And she could only pretend not to see the irritated skin inside her nostril from that angle.

“Fuck you,” she muttered to nobody in particular. She poured out a little bit of the powder before she started working the razor.


	4. Overdose

**June 2nd, 2019**

Mary Chase hadn’t moved more than a twitch in hours.

She sat her chair like a statue, staring morosely across the hospital room. Her eyes were focused on the bed and it’s occupant. The only sounds being made were from the machines, and the occasional movement from outside.

The door opened and closed quietly. The curtains slid open a few seconds later. “Mrs. Chase?"

She looked up at the doctor. “… how bad is it?” she asked quietly.

“Not as bad as it could’ve been.” Doctor Greene nodded sympathetically. “She’s a lucky girl.”

Mary looked back where her daughter lay. Victoria had several IVs sticking in her arms, as well as an oxygen mask over her mouth. And she was incredibly frail; the nurses had measured her weight at just over a hundred pounds, when she’d been brought in. “She’ll be okay?”

“She will,” Greene assured her. “The heart attack was very mild, as far as heart attacks go. There’s slight damage to the muscle, but she’s young; she should make a full recovery. We’ve got her blood pressure back down, as well. We’re keeping her sedated for now, but we’ll wake her up tomorrow.”

Mary heaved a sigh of relief. “Thank God,” she murmured.

“Mrs. Chase…” Greene removed his glasses, placing them in his pocket. “I have to tell you, her blood work is very alarming. As were her scans. There is a lot of damage for a woman who’s only twenty-three years old.”

“We thought she was getting better.” Mary looked at her daughter. “We took away her access to our money. My husband had her on a strict allowance. I have no idea how she was still affording the drugs.”

“Whatever happened, however she got ahold of them, it needs to stop,” Greene said forcefully. “It looks like the cocaine was cut with some other substance, or was way too pure. If she hadn’t been brought in when she was…” He let the sentence trail off. “She got extremely lucky, this time. But her continued drug abuse could be life-threatening.”

“We… my husband hired a Sober Companion-"

“Mrs. Chase, we are past half-measures. This is a problem that has to be taken seriously. Victoria needs to go to rehab, and get off this habit, before it kills her.”

Mary nodded meekly after a few seconds. “Where?” she asked hollowly. “Where can we send her?”

Greene exhaled slowly through his nose, looking very relieved. “There’s a good one, just outside of Portland,” he informed her. “One of the best on this side of the country. Very discreet, and they specialize in habitual addicts like Victoria. She should be sent there as soon as she’s well enough to move."

“What do we do?”

“I’ll send you the details. But she needs to be registered as soon as possible.”

* * *

**June 4th, 2019**

The sign greeted her like it did every morning, as she drove through the Oregon countryside.

_Resting Willows Center. God, I don’t think they could have chosen a more hipster-sounding name._ The woman snorted as she passed the sign, and the second one behind it, welcoming visitors to a place of peaceful serenity. _We’re one tye-dyed shirt away from the seventies._

The name was her only complaint about the center, though. They actually did good work, for the people who could afford it. And they paid well enough, provided you could be discreet and were good at your job. The number of trust-fund babies she saw was staggering.

She shrugged as she pulled into her spot, on the far side of the building. It was a very beautiful place to work; she often wished she could take pictures, though cell phone use by employees was strictly forbidden on the grounds. She left her phone in the center console of her car before she got out and walked inside.

“Hi, Julia,” she greeted the receptionist.

Julia barely looked up as she handed her a note. “Director wanted you to go to his office first thing.”

Her brow furrowed. “Did he say why? Is it about Scott?”

“No, I think you’ve got a new one to take care of.” Julia shrugged. “He met with an older gentleman as soon as he walked through the door. He made sure you weren’t working with anyone else today and told me to send you in as soon as I saw you.”

_Odd._

“Okay.” She turned and walked towards her boss’s office, down a long hallway. He was talking to someone behind the door as she stopped in front of it, peeking through the glass. The director noticed her and waved her inside, though he didn’t stop talking as she slipped in quietly.

“But she’ll be fully supervised the entire time she’s here,” the director, Mike, was saying to the older man. “I’ll tell you now, she’ll have very little privacy, and we’ll check her bags and all her personal effects upon her arrival.”

“Fine,” the man said, giving a tired wave. “Whatever you have to do.”

“Very well. We also believe heavily in working with our more difficult patients one-on-one. Victoria will be assigned one of my best counselors.” He nodded in her direction.

The man turned to look at her, and she realized that he looked familiar, though she couldn’t place him. “She looks young,” he said quietly.

“Yes, but she’s very good.” Mike smiled. “Mister Chase, this is-”

“Chase?” She interrupted, glancing back at the man and feeling a pit develop in her stomach. “Your last name is Chase? From Seattle?”

“Yes.” The man looked at her. “Do I... know you?”

“Victoria Chase? That’s the new patient? Victoria Maribeth Chase?”

Derek Chase looked her up and down, and she swore he deflated a little bit. “You know my daughter, don’t you?”

“I should think so.” Max Caulfield folded her arms. “Her best friend killed mine right in front of me back at Blackwell.”

Mike’s eyebrows shot up, though he didn’t speak as he looked between Max and Derek. The other man was also silent for a few minutes, as he appraised Max while she stood in front of him.

He finally sighed. “Talk about a small world.”

“No kidding.” Max turned back to Mike. “You should find a different counselor. One who-”

“Maxine, right? Maxine Caulfield?”

She blinked, surprised that Derek knew her name. “I prefer Max. But yes, that’s me.”

Derek gestured at Mike. “He said you’re one of his best?”

Max shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. I know your daughter. I shouldn’t be involved in her recovery.”

“Is that actually a rule?” Derek turned to Mike. “It seems like she’d know her pretty well already.”

“It’s… not a rule.” Mike pursed his lips. “But that’s mostly because this center hasn’t had a situation like this before. I’m not sure how good of an idea it is.”

“Have Richard take her,” Max told him. “He’s just as good of a counselor as I am.”

“I can’t. He’s with another patient that came in yesterday.”

“Erica?”

“On vacation for two weeks.”

“Will?”

“He’s got juggling Erica’s patients, and his own.”

Derek cut in before Max could continue. “Miss Caulfield, please. I want Victoria to have the best. And your boss says that it’s you.”

Max unfolded her arms. “Let me guess. Cocaine?”

“... yes.”

“You know she was doing that at Blackwell, right?” Max held eye contact. “Hell, she used to brag about it. That she could always score the good stuff before a Vortex Club party.”

“I know what my daughter used to-”

“She should have been sent to rehab five years ago,” Max interrupted. “Cocaine is one of the most addictive drugs in the world. It’s not something you can will away with money.”

“Max-” her boss tried to interrupt her, but Max ignored him and continued.

“Did it have anything to do with her getting kicked out of UCLA?”

Derek’s eyebrows rose. “How did you know about that?”

“I still talk to people from Blackwell on Facebook. Your daughter’s misadventures are a great source of gossip. I know she voluntarily withdrew, rather than face expulsion, though assaulting a teacher and breaking Courtney Wagner’s nose should have gotten her arrested, charged, and expelled automatically.” She tilted her head. “I’m assuming that you used your money to fix everything, like you did at Blackwell?”

“Max, that’s enough!” Mike said sharply. “Mister Chase-”

“I did.” Derek looked down at his lap, ignoring Mike. “I… didn’t want to ruin her future.”

“Did you send her to rehab afterwards?”

“I hired a live-in Sober Companion.”

Max hummed, disapproval clear in her tone and facial expression. “So, every time her drug use became a problem, you paid the check and hoped really badly that the money you threw away solved everything. Am I interpreting that right?”

“Okay, Max, I think we’re done here.” Mike stood up from behind his desk. “I’ll find a new counselor to help Victoria.”

Max didn’t turn from Derek. She held eye contact, waiting for an answer.

“I thought I was helping.” Derek finally replied morosely. He averted his gaze. “I thought I could handle my daughter myself, without getting her in trouble or risking her future.”

“And when did you figure out that wasn’t working?”

“When she overdosed a couple of days ago.”

That caught Max off guard. She hadn’t known about that.

After several seconds, she sat down in the chair across from Derek. Mike sat back down as well, though he kept a close eye on Max. “What happened?” she asked, in a gentler tone of voice.

“Her dealer sold her some bad drugs,” Derek rubbed his eye with one hand. “I think the doctor said they were mixed with something else… I don’t know, exactly. She had a heart attack.” He sighed. “She was lucky one of her neighbors heard the noise. She almost died.”

Max shook her head. “It happens. Dealers usually step on their cocaine with stuff like baby formula, but some customers like to have it cut with other drugs instead. Sometimes the baggies get switched around, and if you don’t know what you’re snorting...” she left the sentence unfinished.

“My wife and I still don’t know how she got ahold of them.” Derek shrugged. “We cut her off financially last year, except for what she needed to buy food. She sold everything of value in the condo we were paying for, but there wasn’t much there to begin with. We don’t know what happened.”

Max could guess. But she certainly wasn’t going to do it out loud in front of Victoria’s father, so she remained silent.

“Please.” Derek looked back at Max. “My wife and I are desperate. I just want Victoria... I want her better.”

She leaned back in her chair, not speaking for several seconds. “This isn’t a problem you can just ‘fix’,” Max started. “Cocaine addicts struggle every day for the rest of their lives, not to go back to using. And it’s not a simple process. Or an easy one. Especially for a girl like Victoria. You know she was a bully in high school, right?”

“I’m aware.”

“Then you can guess that she’s definitely not going to be happy when she finds out that I’m the one working with her.” Max folded her hands neatly in her lap. “Exactly how much interference do you plan on running here?”

“I’m sorry?” Derek furrowed his brow. “What does that mean?”

Mike leaned forward in his seat and cleared his throat. “Sobriety programs are marathons, Mister Chase, not sprints,” he explained. “Victoria needs to be here until she’s ready to leave, if you want this treatment regimen to be effective. We really need you to understand that you cannot have any expectations of this being a fast or easy process. It may take her a few days just to detox, before we can actually get to work.”

Derek sighed, before he looked back at Max. “Do whatever you have to do. Anything you need, let me know. Just...” he paused, an incredibly sad look on his face. “Please, Max, just help my daughter get better.”

Max pursed her lips as she glanced between him and Mike. “... okay.”

“You’ll help?”

“I’ll do my best.”


	5. Detox

**June 7th, 2019**

Misery. Pure, agonizing misery. That was mostly what Victoria was feeling.

She had essentially been dragged to some hippy retreat in the middle of nowhere, back in Oregon. Which was appropriate, since she could barely muster up the will to move. She wasn’t sure, but someone might have carried her into the building she was in now. The bed she was laying on was a least comfortable, but it didn’t make anything better.

And the fever she’d come down with certainly didn’t help matters.

“Looks like a mild bug,” the man standing over her said as he removed his hand from her forehead. “You probably picked it up before you left the hospital. How do you feel?”

“Like a big bag of Fuck You,” she snapped weakly while trying to ignore her headache. Even her voice was subdued, lacking its usual bite, and she hated it.

_Christ, I need a hit..._

“Yea, you’ll be fine in a few days.” He ignored her insult as he poured a glass of water from the pitcher on the nightstand, dropping a straw into the plastic cup. “Keep drinking, and try to relax.”

Victoria shivered, pulling the blanket tight around her as the pounding in her head increased. “Can you at least give me some NyQuil? A fucking aspirin, or something?”

“Sorry, no painkillers or fever meds allowed on the grounds.” The man stood. “Try to get some sleep. Your counselor will check on you this afternoon.”

“Well, fuck you very much.”

He smirked before he left the room, which left Victoria infuriated. But she didn’t have the strength to get up and go after him, to try and kick his ass.

She also couldn’t sleep. Or get comfortable. Every time she tried, she failed. And there was no TV or clock in the room, so she wasn’t sure how long she was there, trying desperately to relax. And when she finally did sleep...

The dream didn’t stick with her. All she remembered was waking up gasping, in a cold sweat; from the fever or the nightmare, she couldn’t say.

A new woman was sitting on a chair beside her bed: She lifted her head from the file she’d been reading. “Are you okay?”

“I...” Victoria grimaced as her head pounded. “I’m... ow.”

“Headache?”

“What the fuck do you think?” she retorted, as she tried to reach for the water. She missed, her hand colliding with the side of the cup and knocking it off the nightstand. “Shit.”

“I think the next few days aren’t going to be very pleasant for you.” The woman stood and made her way over, picking the cup up from the floor. “Cocaine withdrawal symptoms usually last for a week or two. It’s only been six days since you overdosed, and serious addicts always take longer to detox.”

“Well aren’t you a ball of fucking sunshine.” Victoria shivered again, turning her head into her pillow to wipe some of the sweat off.

The woman didn’t respond, as she poured some more water into the cup. Victoria’s irritation level rose even more as the woman put the straw back in and held it near the edge of the bed. “Here, drink up.”

Victoria hated her. And the guy from before. And her parents, her friends, and especially Marcus. _Fucking asshole, selling me bad shit... oh, Christ, I could use some right now, though..._

But she was incredibly thirsty. Even though she felt like a child, she turned and grabbed the straw between her lips, eagerly sucking the water from the cup until it was empty. She exhaled slowly, as she let go. “Are you going to-”

She finally got a good look at the woman’s face for the first time, and the recognition smacked her into silence. The freckles, the brown hair, the blue eyes...

_You have got to be fucking kidding me._

“You...” Victoria worked her mouth, but her head throbbed, and she winced, closing her eyes.

“Yes, me.” Max refilled the water cup. “Do you want another drink?”

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Victoria said through gritted teeth, as she slowly re-opened her eyes.

“Working.” Max smiled as she set the jug back down.

Victoria glared up from her pillow. “Working? What the fuck does that mean?”

“I work here. This is my job. It’s how I make a living.” Max nodded. “I’m an addiction counselor. Have been for a couple of years.”

“You’re...” Victoria’s voice trailed off.

“Yes, I am.” Max held the cup of water down. “Drink?”

Victoria reached out and backhanded the cup from Max’s hand, sending it to the floor and spilling water all over the carpet.

“Is that a no?”

“Fuck off,” Victoria growled. “I don’t want you here.”

“Really?” Max picked the cup and started to re-fill it again. “I figured you’d be happy to see me. We’d sit, and talk, and catch up on old times.”

“We’re not friends,” Victoria snapped. “Go piss off.”

Max set the cup back on the table before she returned to her chair. “You’re right about that,” she said as she settled back into it. “We’re definitely not friends.”

“Then why the fuck are you here?”

“Because your father begged me to help you get clean.” Max crossed her legs. “Literally, by the way, not figuratively. His exact words to me were ‘do whatever you have to’.”

Victoria shivered, and her level of fury rose. She hated feeling like she was, weak and sick in front of someone who actually knew her. She was both extremely tired and wide awake.

She was also desperate for a line of coke. The desire felt even worse that her fever symptoms.

_And now this_ _ fucking hipster thinks she’s going to twist my arm and make me her lackey?!_

“How fucking thoughtful of him.” Victoria growled. “I don’t care. He can hire a proper sober companion or something, not some little hipster bitch who still dresses like she shops the clearance aisles at Wal-Mart.” She glared as she looked over Max’s jeans and blue polo shirt. “Addiction counselor. Christ, what a fucking joke. What, was a real degree too hard for a piece of Seattle trash?”

Max got back up, walking over and taking the water cup in hand. She held it back at Victoria’s level, the straw extended. The blonde hated that she was still thirsty, but she didn’t move, her glaring eyes focused on Max. “Did you not fucking hear me or something, you deaf little bitch?!”

The brunette smiled sweetly. “And what makes you think I’m going to value the opinion of a coked-out junkie in the middle of withdrawals?”

Victoria flinched like she’d been slapped. Max continued to smile. “Drink your water,” she added, shaking the cup so Victoria could hear the sloshing inside. “It’ll help with the fever.”

The blonde hated Max. She wanted to yell, scream, something, to take back the high ground.

But she had nothing.

So she took the straw in her lips and drank some more.

“Good.” Max reached into her back pocket, produced a small white bottle, and unscrewed the cap. She tipped two white pills into her hand. “Here. Don’t tell anyone I gave them to you. We’re not supposed to have any meds on the property, but a couple of Tylenol won’t set you back.”

Victoria hated her so much. But she accepted the pills and popped them into her mouth, washing them down with a final sip of water. “Keep drinking,” Max ordered, as she placed the cup back on the table. “I’ll come back to check on you later.”

* * *

“Well?”

Max glanced over at Mike, as he strolled up to her desk. “How did it go?”

“She’s asleep.” Max looked back at her computer. She had a window open on her desktop that was linked to the camera feed in the Detox room, where Victoria was sleeping. “I’m gonna head home in a few minutes. Dexter said he’d keep an eye on her overnight.”

“How are her symptoms?”

“Acute, and the fever isn’t helping her irritability.” Max shrugged. “She’s probably still got a couple more days before she’ll be in a place to focus on recovery.”

“Did you give her something?”

“Couple of Tylenol, for her headache.” Max smirked. “We’ll see how much she appreciates it later.”

“Good idea. Establish some trust quickly.” Her boss smirked back, but it faded quickly. “Are you still good to do this? Even with your personal connection?”

Max shrugged again. “We’ll see, I guess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I have to make a comment.
> 
> A couple of you guys have said in the comments that you’ve got firsthand knowledge of addiction. I have to confess that I do not, nor any experience with illegal drugs; I’ve never even smoked pot. I had to do a fair amount of Googling for this story, which I’m sure put me on a watchlist somewhere.
> 
> What I’m getting at is that if I mess up in my depiction of the topic, I’m sorry. I’m doing my best.


	6. The Steps

**June 12th, 2019**

Victoria’s fever broke after a few days, and she felt better.

Physically, anyway.

_I hate this bitch so much._ Victoria snuck a glance at Max across the table, though she was trying to avoid looking at her. Which was easy, since they were in the cafeteria; she could focus on her lunch. She turned her attention back to her food, taking another forkful of what apparently passed for mashed potatoes. _Ugh._

“Little hungry?"

Victoria looked back at Max. “Huh?”

Max nodded at the tray. “The food here is okay, but I don’t know if it’s THAT good.” Victoria blinked as she looked back at her plate, and realized that she’d polished off most of her meal in less than five minutes. “Then again, I’m guessing it’s probably been a little while since you had the stomach to eat that much.”

“Shut up.” Victoria ate the last bit of her lunch before she put the fork down. “When do I leave?”

The brunette checked her watch. “Well, the cafeteria is open for another hour, but we can go back to the common area if you-”

Victoria silenced Max a glare. “When do I leave this place?” she clarified. “You did your job. I’m feeling better. Is there a sign-out time or something?”

Max sighed “You’re not ‘better’ yet, Victoria,” she admonished. “There’s a full regimen to help addicts who are-”

“Congrats, you’re a miracle worker.” Victoria waved her hand. “I don’t want to do coke. I’m not addicted anymore. Can I go now?”

“The craving is going to come BACK,” Max cautioned. “Cocaine withdrawal is measured in months, not weeks. You need to stay here until you’re-”

“I’m sorry, did you say MONTHS?!” Victoria exclaimed incredulously. “I’m not staying here for months. Unlike you, I have a life to get back to.”

Max scoffed. “Do you really?”

“What does THAT mean?”

“I mean, what did you actually DO, besides make a half-assed attempt at online classes and get loaded?”

Victoria’s nostrils flared. “Maybe you can’t comprehend what it means, but I have a social life, you fucking-”

“With who, your dealer?” Max interrupted. “Because from my understanding, that’s probably the only friend you have left.”

“I have- no. Fuck you.” Victoria stood. “How do I get out of here?”

“Victoria...” Max looked at her, not getting up from her seat, before she sighed. “Fine. You know what? Go.”

“Huh?”

“I can’t force you to stay; this isn’t a prison. We’ve got a hundred addicts here, and only thirty counselors. I’m not going to waste my time as a one-on-one for someone who doesn’t want to be here.” Max pointed. “Take that door, and the second right. It’ll bring you to the front desk, and you can sign out there.”

Victoria looked at the door, then back at Max. She took a breath after a few seconds. “Well, this has been fun. Let’s never do it again.” She turned and began stalking towards the door.

“Hey, can I ask you a question?”

Victoria stopped and glanced back over her shoulder at Max. “What?”

“Where are you going to go?”

She blinked. “Uh, home. Duh.”

“Where’s that?”

“My condo in Seattle.”

“Georgetown, right?” Max watched Victoria nod. “Yea, your father sold it.”

“Excuse me?” The blonde girl turned and narrowed her eyes. “No he didn’t. That was my place.”

“Oh yea? Your name was on the property records? You paid the rent and utilities?"

Victoria didn’t answer.

“That’s what I thought.” Max took another bite from her food. “Shockingly, your dad didn’t want to hang onto a property that his daughter almost died in. He had it cleaned up, fixed everything that you broke, replaced what you sold, and put it on the market. He told me a couple of days ago that he accepted an offer; it’s in escrow as we speak.”

“Then I’ll...” Victoria paused for a second. “I’ll just find a new place, and-”

“Do you have money for first and last month’s rent? And a security deposit? And with zero credit history and no references, do you really think a landlord will accept your application?”

The smirk on the brunette’s face made Victoria seethe. “I can understand if you don’t seem to remember, Caulfield, but I’m rich.”

“No, your parents are rich,” Max corrected her. “You’ve been cut off. I would offer the suggestion to sell some of those expensive clothes and purses you waltzed around Blackwell in, but we both know those are all gone. All of your worldly possessions fit in the duffle bag that came here with you. And I went through it; there isn’t much.” She tilted her head. “So what are you going to do for money?"

“My parents aren’t just going to kick me out on the street. I’m their only kid.”

“Yea, and what do they have to show for it?” Max put the fork down and planted her elbows on the table. “An entitled and spoiled little brat who hasn’t contributed anything to society, pisses away all their money, barely has any education, and floats from one line of cocaine to another.”

The blonde bristled. “I am not-”

“You’re here because your parents are done with your shit, Victoria.” Max interlaced her fingers. “Don’t believe me? We’ll call your father, if you want, and you can ask him what your options are if you leave this place before I say you’re ready. See how sympathetic he’s going to be.”

She wanted to. She REALLY wanted to. Victoria fumed as she glared daggers at the brunette. Everything in her itched to pick up the phone, and get ahold of her father, to have him tell little miss fucking Caulfield that she was full of shit.

But a small piece of her mind gnawed at her.

_… what if she’s right?_

_Have they given up on me?_

“Like I said, that door, second right.” Max pointed. “Or you can sit back down, so we can have a more productive conversation.”

Victoria didn’t move for a few seconds as she debated with herself. Finally, accepting her fate, she slowly made her way back to the table and sat across from Max.

“Why did you search through my bag?” she asked quietly.

“To make sure you didn’t have any drugs,” Max answered simply. “Standard practice for newcomers.”

Victoria shook her head. “Whatever,” she muttered. “I really don’t feel like doing blow. Like, ever again.”

“Good. Try to remember that over the next few days.”

* * *

**June 15th, 2019 **

_Fuck, I could use a line right now._

Victoria sat in the chair, bouncing her leg up and down as she tried to focus on anything besides the pounding in her head. Though she would never say it aloud, Max had been right; it had been a few days, and the craving was killing her. She fidgeted with her hands, feeling the imaginary razor blade dance in her fingers.

She tried closing her eyes and imagining herself someplace calm. Hiking in the forest. Admiring snowy mountains. Watching blue ocean waves wash over a pristine beach.

Snorting a line of coke off her old coffee table.

_God damn it._

“Granola bar?”

Victoria opened her eyes and looked up to see Max, holding out the snack while smiling. She took it without a word, grateful for something else to think about as she opened the package and took a bite.

“How are you feeling?” Max asked, as she sat down across from her.

“Wonderful,” Victoria replied snidely as she chewed. “Like a million bucks.”

Max studied the blonde. “Victoria, you know I actually do have a degree in Addiction Counseling, right?”

“That’s a thing?” she snarked before taking another bite. “Sounds like a fallback degree from a community college. God, you must have been desperate to graduate.”

“I’ve worked here for a couple of years now,” Max continued, ignoring the insult. “I’ve helped people through cocaine withdrawals before. Quite a few people, in fact.”

Victoria rolled her eyes. “Congratulations. I’ll sign a letter for the Nobel Prize committee.”

“What I’m getting at is that I can tell when someone is Jonesing.” Max leaned forward, her elbows on her knees. “How bad is it?”

“I’m fine,” Victoria repeated brusquely. “Go find someone else’s problem child to bother.”

Max pursed her lips, not moving for several seconds. “Do you want to go for a walk?” she asked unexpectedly.

“A... what?”

“A walk. You know, outside.” Max stood, motioning towards the window. “You haven’t really left this building since you’ve gotten here. I’m sure you’d like some fresh air. And you can check out the grounds; they’re actually really pretty, this time of year. Would you like to see?”

Victoria glanced at the window. _It... does look nice,_ she allowed. _And fresh air wouldn’t hurt._

“Fine,” she muttered, grunting with the effort it took to stand up and follow Max into the hallway. After a couple of turns, she opened the door for her, letting Victoria exit the building.

Max hadn’t been lying. The grounds were incredibly beautiful. The entire center was surrounded by the pine trees that were ubiquitous to Oregon, but the large clearing behind the building had been professionally landscaped around a well-kept pond. The grass and bushes were neatly trimmed, and the path following the water’s edge was free of obstruction; several people were walking and jogging around it.

What really stood out were the Weeping Willows. Several of the unique trees stood around the pond, the branches hanging low over the grass. “Those don’t look native to the property,” Victoria commented.

“They’re not.” Max smiled. “They transplanted them when they built this place. Pretty, right?”

Victoria begrudgingly nodded.

The two girls walked towards the pond, and by unspoken agreement followed the walking path. Other than the occasional jogger, they weren’t disturbed. Victoria spent most of the walk looking around, taking in the scenery. “This place is pretty nice,” she finally admitted.

“It is,” Max agreed. “One of the reasons I like working here.”

Victoria hummed.

“How are you doing?” Max asked, concern in her voice. “You tired or anything?”

“I’m fine.”

“It’s okay if you’re not feeling a hundred percent, Victoria.”

“Okay, what do you want to hear, Caulfield?” Victoria looked back at her, as they walked. “That I feel like shit? That my headache won’t go away? That I can’t fucking sleep?”

“I want to hear the TRUTH,” Max emphasized. “I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s-”

“I don’t want your help,” Victoria snapped. “I want to go home.”

Max sighed. “Why don’t you want my help?”

“Because I don’t need it.”

“You don’t need help, or you don’t need it from me?”

“Either. Both.” Victoria crossed her arms. “I don’t want to be here. I just want to leave.”

Victoria didn’t uncross her arms as they walked around the far end of the pond. “Are you cold?” Max asked.

“A little,” Victoria admitted before she could stop herself, glancing down. Between the shade of the trees and the cold water, the temperature had taken a noticeable dip. Goosebumps were prominent on her thin arms, and she hugged herself tighter.

Max unzipped her thin hoodie and took it off, holding it out. “Here, put this on.”

“I don’t want your fucking jacket.”

She didn’t take it back. Max kept the hoodie extended towards Victoria.

After a few seconds, the blonde accepted it, wrapping it around her shoulders without sticking her arms in. “Thank you,” she muttered, her eyes at the ground.

“You’re welcome.” Max nodded at a nearby bench. “Come on, let’s sit for a minute.”

They sat down, facing the pond, neither of them speaking as Victoria pulled the grey hoodie tighter. Neither of them spoke as they looked out over the pond.

“You know admitting that you have a problem is an important part of fixing it, right?” Max asked after a couple of minutes.

“I don’t have a fucking problem,” Victoria replied. “I made one mistake.”

“Which one?”

“Uh, isn’t it obvious?”

“Not really.” Max leaned back into the bench. “Was it when you broke Alyssa’s nose at Blackwell? When you assaulted Courtney and your teacher at UCLA? When you ODed?”

“I- wait.” Victoria looked at Max. “How did you know about Courtney?”

“We’re friends on Facebook. She told me the story.”

“You two are FRIENDS?” Victoria exclaimed incredulously. “Are you kidding me? How the hell did that happen?”

Max snorted in amusement. “I don’t think anyone is more surprised than us,” she allowed. “We talked a few times on the Blackwell Facebook group, just catching up. Then she found out I was working here, and we got to talking about my job, which lead to talking about you.”

Victoria scoffed. “Make for good gossip, do I?”

“Yea, pretty much. Anyway, she told me what went down in the dorm room. And that Taylor won’t speak to you either. I’ve talked with her a couple of times, too, though she won’t tell me what happened.”

“Lovely.” Victoria turned back to the pond. “I’m sure you all have a great time, trashing me on social media. I can only imagine what they said about you being my fucking counselor; they probably think it’s hilarious.”

“They don’t know.”

“They don’t know what?”

“That you’re here. Or that I’m your counselor.” Max tilted her head. “I don’t gossip about my job. I’m not even sure if they know you ODed.”

Victoria didn’t reply. She kept her eyes caged forward.

“Do you miss them?”

“Fuck you,” Victoria replied, though the bite was gone from her voice.

“Victoria-”

“Christ,” she breathed. “Can we talk about literally anything else?”

Max nodded after a couple of seconds. “So, do you really not think you have a problem?”

“Are you gonna harp on that?” Victoria shot Max a glare. “Why is it so important that I say that I have a problem?”

“Because it’s the first step on the path to sobriety.”

“Seriously? We’re doing this Twelve Step bullshit?”

“It’s not ‘bullshit’, Victoria,” Max chastised. “And it’s an important step. You can’t start to fix a problem unless you acknowledge that you have one.”

“Fine. I have a fucking problem. Can we move on to step two now?”

Max sighed. “It doesn’t work if you don’t believe it.”

Victoria grit her teeth. “What do you want to hear, then?” she bit out. “What will make this process go faster?”

“Will you tell me why you don’t think you have a problem?”

“Because-” Victoria stopped, her mind suddenly going blank. She had no idea what to say. Max looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to finish her sentence. “... I just don’t.” she finally muttered.

“Mm.” Max pursed her lips as she pulled a laminated card out of her pocket. “You’re an Atheist, right? You don’t believe in God?”

“No.”

“Okay.” Max handed her the card. “Why don’t you read the top line?”

Victoria examined the white card as she took it. “Are these the 12 Steps?”

“Yes.” Max hesitated. “Well, sort of. The original 12 Steps are pretty religious. Those were re-written by an atheist addict and posted online, so I stole them.” She nodded at the card. “Read the first one.”

“Acknowledge that...” Victoria paused as she read silently, finally snorting in amusement. “Acknowledge that I cannot safely do drugs at any time, and bad shit happens to me when I do.” She glanced back at Max. “Nice.”

“I thought so.” Max flashed a smirk. “Do you disagree?”

Victoria took a few seconds as her mind flashed back over the past few years. Beating up Courtney, assaulting her professor, stealing from Taylor... and Marcus.

“No,” she muttered.

Max nodded. “Now we’re making progress.”

“Bite me.” Victoria leaned back, her shoulder touching Max’s as they watched the water. Neither of them said anything for a few minutes. “What now?”

Max looked up in thought. “What do you want to do with your life?”

Victoria frowned. “That doesn’t sound like one of these Steps.”

“It’s not. I’m just asking a question.”

“Why?”

Max rolled her eyes. “I don’t have an ulterior motive for everything I do, Victoria. I’m just asking what you always saw yourself doing, you know, once you graduated college. I know you never picked a major.”

Victoria huffed in irritation. “If there anything my father DIDN’T tell you about me?”

“Yes. What you wanted to do with your life.”

She sighed. “Fine. I wanted to be a photographer.”

“Yea? Me, too.” Max nodded. “Is that why you went to Blackwell? To learn from...” her voice trailed off.

“Jefferson?” Victoria shook her head. “No. Him showing up the year before you got there was just a bonus.” She glanced at Max. “Isn’t that why YOU transferred to Blackwell? To learn from him?"

Max nodded. “He was a good teacher,” she allowed. “I did learn a lot from him. But after everything happened... I never really picked the camera back up.”

“Me, either.” Victoria leaned back, a small smirk on her face. “I have the most worthless portfolio in the photography world, I’m sure.”

“At least you have one.” Max looked at her. “So, that is still your dream?”

“... yea.” Victoria looked down at her lap. “Kind of hard to follow it without my camera, though.”

“You sold it?”

“I sold a lot of things.”

“Oh.”

“Yea.” She sighed again. “Talk about rock bottom, right?”

“Well...” Max leaned forward, catching the blonde’s eye. “You know what the good part about being at rock bottom is, right?”

“What?”

“There’s only one way to go; back up.”

Victoria blinked, then scoffed as she rolled her eyes. “That’s some real fortune-cookie shit there, Caulfield.”

“Well, you know, a large part of being a counselor was learning all the catchy proverbs.”

Victoria had to snicker at that. “What, did you get a handbook or something?”

“Or something.” Max chuckled. “Why don’t we go back. It’s almost lunchtime.”

“I’m not really hungry.”

“I don’t really care.” Max stood. “You’re almost thirty pounds underweight, Victoria. You need to eat.”

Victoria eyeballed Max. “What if I happen to like being skinny?”

“Then you can keep borrowing my hoodie when we go outside.”

“... hell.” It took some effort, but Victoria managed to get back on her feet and follow Max inside.


	7. Group

**June 20th, 2019**

“My name is Henry, and I’m an addict.”

“Hi, Henry,” Victoria muttered, mimicking the chorus of people sitting around them.

Max had insisted on bringing her to the group session, a few days after their walk around the pond. “It’ll be good for you,” she’d told her. “You can talk to some of the others, and listen to what they say about getting over your addiction.”

“I thought YOU were the one who was supposed to make me better,” Victoria had pointed out crossly. “Isn’t that why my father is paying you a shitload of money?”

“I’ve never been addicted to drugs,” Max replied. “I can only give you third-hand knowledge about getting over the cravings. The group therapist that comes on Thursdays spent years on meth. He knows what he’s talking about.”

Victoria found herself hating that she could never get Max to rise to the bait. “What, does he give a discount to his old rehab clinic?”

“He quit on his own. Cold turkey. Hasn’t touched the stuff in twenty years.” Max spoke of him with a very respectful tone of voice. “He’s not somebody you should ignore.”

Since Max basically had Victoria over a barrel, so to speak, she wasn’t really able to refuse the suggestion. So the next day, Victoria found herself in an uncomfortable folding metal chair, sitting in a loose circle with the other patients while an older man in glasses spoke to them.

“It’s been twenty-one years, three months, and nineteen days since my last fix,” he continued. “And I still miss the pipe every day.”

_You have got to be kidding me._ Victoria groaned internally, as she looked away. She was willing to admit that Max was right; her craving came and went. But she couldn’t imagine still wanting it after being clean for twenty years.

“You know what the worst part is?” Henry glanced around all at all of them. “Just how easy it was to get hooked. It snuck up on me without realizing it.”

Victoria blinked, turning back as she listened.

“The first time I smoked, it was awesome.” Henry grinned. “I mean, I felt amazing. I cleaned my entire house in four hours, so well that my wife thought that I hired a maid. Folded laundry, vacuumed, everything. She was so happy. And we were going through a bit of a rough patch, so it felt nice, to do something for her that made her smile.” He glanced around. “So, I did it again. Same result. I felt amazing, and I was so productive. I was the best husband and father ever. And I was so sure I had it under control; I never once thought that I was getting addicted.”

He reached down and took a bottle of water from under his chair, taking a sip. “One morning, I woke up after barely getting any sleep. My toddler had been awake all night with an ear infection, so I was up all night, too. And I needed a pick-me-up, so on my way to my office, I pulled into an empty lot and smoked a quick bowl. And you know what?” Henry paused. “It was just what I needed. My boss even gave me a compliment, at the end of the day, that he was impressed with the amount of work I got done. So, I did it again, the next day.”

“Before long, my boss was so impressed with my performance that he gave me a promotion.” Smiling, Henry shrugged sheepishly. “It was a lot more pay, for more work and responsibility. I certainly couldn’t stop smoking; otherwise my performance would have suffered. I didn’t realize that every time I smoked, it was taking more and more to have an effect.”

_Wow._ Victoria couldn’t turn away. The guy’s story felt eerily similar.

“After a while, I was doing so much that my co-workers were starting to notice my really odd behavior. Outbursts of anger, erratic moods, the whole nine yards. My boss decided to do a no-notice drug screening for the entire office. I popped positive, of course, and I was fired. My wife found out, and we got into a huge fight when we got home.”

Henry sighed. “I’ll spare you the details, of when I decided to smoke a little bit to calm down right before my wife started arguing with me again. The long and short of it was that I got arrested for domestic violence. I was able to bail myself out, but my wife had a restraining order in place, so I had to live in my car while I went through the divorce process.” He smirked, shaking his head. “And if you think that was what convinced me to kick the habit, boy are you guys wrong.”

Victoria and the others couldn’t help but snort.

“The money ran out, of course. I wasn’t paying any of my child support anyway, but meth goes through your wallet pretty quickly. And I had been doing it for so long, that I was terrified of actually getting clean and going through withdrawals. I told myself, when I broke into someone’s house to rob them, that it would be a one-time thing, just to get myself through the week.”

He took a deep breath and exhaled. “That was where I had my moment of clarity,” he told them. “I shattered the sliding glass door, went inside, and was going through the master bedroom of the house when I found a really nice Rolex watch. I was happy, until I saw that the back of it was engraved with a message I still remember.” He smiled sadly. “It said ‘To Walter, to remember your wedding day’. And I stared at it, and that was when I really realized what I was doing. I was robbing someone of their wedding gift to fund my habit.”

Victoria’s mind went blank, and her gut twisted. She averted her eyes, staring at the floor as she remembered what Taylor said when she had found her mother’s necklace in Victoria’s purse.

_Don’t fucking call me again._

The physical pain that went with the memory was worse than what she felt when she overdosed. And look of disgust on her friend’s face was burned into her brain. She felt nauseous as she tried to forget what had happened.

She blinked as she realized she’d been thinking about the incident and missed what the guy had been saying. He sat down, taking another sip of his water.

“So.” Henry glanced around. “I see we have a few newcomers. Willing or not, it doesn’t matter. This is a good place to talk and listen.” His eyes lingered on Victoria, before they moved past her. “Does anyone else want to speak?”

Several people did. Victoria barely paid attention. She mostly looked away, unable to lose the memory of her last conversation with Taylor. She tried several times, to forget it and focus on the group session... but she couldn’t.

When the session ended, everyone slowly got up and started to disperse. Victoria stayed in her chair, waiting for the others to leave so she didn’t have to talk to them.

Henry didn’t leave with the others, though. He came and sat next to her. “Are you okay?” he asked gently.

Caught off-guard, Victoria nodded.

“You’re one of the new ones.” He rested his elbows on his knees. “I saw you, drifting in and out. I hope I wasn’t boring you.”

It sounded like a barb, but he smiled while he said it; Victoria was pretty sure he meant it as a joke. “No,” she said quietly, sighing. “Um... sorry. I was thinking about something else.”

“Ah.” He nodded. “Can I ask what it was?”

She hesitated. “I... don’t really want to talk about it.”

“I understand.” Shifting, he leaned back in his chair. “Sometimes I think about the stuff I did, when I was still on the drugs, and I just fade out. My wife usually has to drag me back.”

Victoria looked at him, confused. “I thought you got divorced?”

Henry snorted. “I guess my story is getting less and less interesting.”

Her face flushed in embarrassment. “Sorry,” she muttered. “It was. I... what did you say happened, after you found the Rolex?”

“Well.” He crossed his legs. “I left the watch there and ran out of the house, back to my car. And I found someplace nice and private, and stayed there while I went through withdrawals. It was the worst experience of my life.”

“I bet. How long did it last?”

“About six days or so. The really bad symptoms went away, but I felt the aftereffects for weeks afterward.” He looked at her. “How long have you been sober?”

“Um..." she paused, trying to count. "It's the twentieth, so... eighteen days, I guess."

“Cocaine?”

Victoria raised her eyebrows. “How’d you know?”

“In my experience, when girls your age end up in rehab, it’s usually because of either meth or cocaine.” He smirked. “You look like you were well off enough to afford coke. And your teeth are in good shape.”

“So are yours,” Victoria pointed out.

“I’ve had a few grand of dental work done. About a third of my teeth are false.” 

Victoria hummed. “I couldn’t tell.”

“Thank you. Anyway. Once I was well enough to try and find some work, I got a job in retail. I met another addict, who introduced me to a local Narcotics Anonymous group. They hooked me up with a proper sponsor, and he helped me get my life back on track.”

“And now you do this for a living,” Victoria summarized.

“This is a side gig. I’m the manager of a grocery store in town most of the week. Which is where I met my second wife.”

“What about your first?”

Henry sighed. “She didn’t want anything to do with me for a long time. She re-married, and since I was absent for a good chunk of my son’s early life, her second husband adopted him. I’m still back-paying child support. And I’m still trying to rebuild my relationship with my son.”

“Oh.” Victoria looked at her feet. “Sorry.”

“Well, I’m alive, and it’s better than nothing.” He nodded, then glanced over her shoulder. “Ah. Is that is your counselor?”

Victoria turned, and saw Max entering the room, closing the door behind her. “Yea,” she sighed begrudgingly. “Or my prison guard.”

Henry laughed. “I’ve known her for a little while,” he told her. “Max is one of the good ones. You can consider yourself lucky.”

* * *

**Megan:** Are you almost here?

**Max:** ... crap. I’m still at work.

**Megan:** Are you serious?! We’ve been waiting for almost twenty minutes!

**Max:** I’m sorry.

**Megan:** I’m trying to introduce you to my sisters, Max! Do you have any idea how embarrassing this is?!

**Max:** I just got a new patient. She needs more time than my others.

**Megan:** They ALL need more of your time. How much of your time do I get?

**Max:** I’ll leave in a few minutes.

**Megan:** Oh, good. I have to wait another half an hour for you to get here.

**Megan: **Actually, closer to forty minutes, with traffic.

**Max:** I will be there as soon as I can.

**Megan:** Don’t bother. We weren’t staying here long.

**Max:** I’ll meet you guys later tonight.

**Megan:** And how late were you planning to stay out?

**Max:** … I have to be back at the center at eight tomorrow.

**Megan:** It’s Saturday night!

**Max:** I have a new patient!

**Megan:** Yea. Again.

**Max:** I really am sorry, Megan.

**Megan:** I believe you. But I’m tired of being the second runner-up to your work. It’s not endearing more than one or twice.

**Megan:** Don’t worry about meeting me tonight. But tomorrow, we need to talk.

**Max:** ... okay.


	8. Progress

**June 24th, 2019**

Max sat in front of the rehab center, taking slow breaths.

_It’s not a huge deal._

_Come on, let’s be honest, you kinda saw this coming. You weren’t exactly the greatest girlfriend. We hadn’t been in a real date in weeks, and you backed out of three last month. _

_… still sucks, though._

_Stop. You can’t take this in there._ Max squeezed the steering wheel tightly, sighing heavily while looking at the entrance. _Personal shit stays in the car. In there, it’s about the patients, not us._

She took a sip of her coffee, savoring the flavor before she swallowed. _Let’s just see if we can make some real progress today._

* * *

“Good morning!”

Victoria groaned, as Max sat down across from her. Her counselor seemed cheerful, with her to-go coffee mug and upbeat demeanor.

She hated her all the more for it.

“I don’t see what’s so good about it,” Victoria mumbled, as she leaned back into the couch and massaged her temples. “Or why you’re so happy this early in the morning.”

“The coffee helps.” Max took a sip. “Do you want some? I know the stuff they have here isn’t very good."

“No.”

“Okay.” Max lowered the cup. “So. How did you sleep?”

“Wonderful.” Victoria threw her a big, phony smile. “Like a dream. Best sleep I ever had.”

“Really?” Max raised her eyebrows. “Usually by this stage, that’s not the case.”

“I was being fucking sarcastic, Caulfield,” Victoria sneered. “Christ, how did you become a therapist without being able to pick up on audible clues?”

Max shrugged. “I’m not a therapist.”

“You think that if you had tried a little harder in your community college, you might have been?” Victoria snapped. “Or did they not offer that high of a class level?”

“They did. But I actually wanted this job.” Max smiled. “I liked the idea of helping people who actually needed it.”

“Aww. That’s so fucking hipster of you.” Victoria rolled her eyes. “Is society not rosy enough for your fragile mind? Or are you so dead-set on making this pathetic world a better place that you cut your busted-ass education short to work with a bunch of other half-trained retards, cleaning up after the one-percent’s problem children?”

Max tilted her head, as she listened to everything Victoria said. Her facial expression didn’t change from its half-smile for the entire spiel. “Can I ask you a question?” she finally said after a few seconds.

“What?”

“Why are you always such a bitch?"

Victoria blinked. “Excuse me?"

“You did this a lot at Blackwell, too. Always trying to cut people off at the knees.” Max took another sip from her cup. “I remember you making a couple of the other girls cry. What, exactly, does it get you?”

“Fuck you.”

“Is it satisfaction?” Max continued, unabated. “Gratification? Validation? I really do want to know.”

“Go fuck yourself.” Victoria stood and started walking away. “I’m going to get breakfast.”

“Sit down. We’re not done.”

“Well, I am.”

“Sit back down,” Max repeated. “Before I call your father.”

Victoria hated that that sentence made her stop. She glanced over her shoulder back at Max, who was no longer smiling, but staring at her with a fixed expression. “Seriously, Caulfield? You’re going to tattle on me like we’re in fucking kindergarten?”

“Yes.” Max’s smile returned. “I don’t think I’ve told you, but your father gave me his personal cell phone number. You remember, the one that he hasn’t given you since UCLA?” She sipped from her cup, before she continued. “The one that bypasses his secretary and goes straight to the phone in his pocket? I understand he doesn’t hand it out very often, but he told me that he wanted a phone call if you were giving me any trouble.”

Victoria turned to face her. “You’re full of shit,” she said, her voice not as full of conviction as she would have liked. “He wouldn’t give that number to some hipster bitch like you.”

“Why is that so hard to believe?”

“Because he’s a busy man,” Victoria retorted. “He hands that number out to other billionaires. And senators. And my mother.” She folded her arms. “He doesn’t give it to people that aren’t worth his time.”

“Hmm.” Max leaned back. “Well. I guess that’s a piece of the puzzle.”

“What the fuck does that mean?”

“You don’t think you’re worth your father’s time.”

“I-” Victoria stopped. “... fuck you.”

“Yes, you’ve said that.” Max sighed. “Is it really so hard for you to believe that your father loves you, Victoria? That he doesn’t want you to throw your life away chasing the next line of coke?”

“He’s got a funny...” Victoria blinked and folded her arms. “No. I’m not doing this. Especially not to some counselor that couldn’t hack becoming a therapist.”

“Would you like one?” Max gestured to the door. “We have one on call that I can-”

The glare Victoria shot her was enough to shut that idea down. “I’m not talking to a fucking head shrink,” she snapped. “And I am definitely not spilling my life story to some hipster that thinks she knows me because my father is paying her.”

“Your father is paying the center, not me.” Max pointed out. “Are you going to sit back down? Or do I need to make a call?”

Victoria continued to glare at her for a few seconds. Then she dropped her gaze, and slowly made her way over to the couch and sat back down.

“I really fucking hate you,” she muttered.

“I know.” Max finished her coffee and tossed the cup into a wastebasket. “Now. Let’s do this again, and I want a real answer.”

Victoria looked up. “To what?”

“Why you always try to make people feel like crap and tear them down.” Max crossed her legs. “You’ve spent most of your stay here belittling me and my job. Back at Blackwell you took shots at everyone, including Courtney and Taylor, who were supposedly your friends. You manufactured evidence of Dana Ward sleeping with Juliet Watson’s boyfriend. And you were absolutely merciless when it came to Kate Ma-”

“I remember high school,” Victoria interrupted. “The refresher isn’t necessary.”

“Okay...” Max paused. “Then what was it? Were you trying to be funny?”

“Some of it was pretty funny.”

“Dana and Juliet didn’t think so. We lived across from each other, and I don’t remember hearing a lot of laughter from your room. So, what did you get out of it?”

Victoria didn’t have a good answer. She just stared at the floor between them while she chewed on her lip.

“You know, a lot of people from Blackwell think that you acted the way you did because you’re a shitty person.” Max leaned forward. “Do you want to know what I think?”

“Not really,” Victoria muttered.

Max ignored her. “One of the most common theories about bullies is that they act out to mask their own low self-esteem,” she said. “Or as a result of a difficult home life. I think for you, it was both.”

Victoria shot her a look. “Have me all figured out, do you?”

“How often were your parents around, when you were growing up?”

“Fuck you.”

“You can avoid hard questions all you want, Victoria, but you’ll have to answer them somehow. Why were you so mean to everyone back in high school?”

“… okay. Fine.” Victoria took a deep breath. “I fucking hated Blackwell.”

Max blinked. “You did?”

Victoria fixed Max with another glare. “I’m from Seattle. I grew up in a mansion on Mercer Island. I used to go to a private school with friends from my own income bracket, where we could all talk about the same problems and we all understood each other. Why the FUCK would I trade that all in for a school in some hick town in the middle of fucking nowhere, Oregon?”

“I never thought about it like that.”

“Of course you didn’t.” Victoria sighed. “When I was in the eighth grade, my friends and I were already talking about wealth management, for fuck’s sake. Then I went to Arcadia Bay, and the other girls only talked about boy bands and what kind of bargain-brand clothes they would spend their allowance on, thinking a hundred bucks is a lot of money to spend on shoes.”

“It is, for us mere mortals.”

Victoria looked disdainfully at the Converse sneakers on Max’s feet. “I see that. At least Chuck Taylors are fashionable.”

“So you hated Blackwell,” Max stated, getting the discussion back on track. “I’m assuming you went because your parents made you?”

“Yea,” Victoria muttered. “I begged them to let me stay in Seattle. But Blackwell was one of the highest-rated schools in the Pacific Northwest, and that was all they needed to know; my desires were irrelevant."

Max frowned. “I’m surprised there wasn’t anything comparable around Seattle.”

“There is. Like I said, I begged.” Victoria shrugged. “They still said no.”

“Did they say why?”

“Nope.” Victoria shrugged again. “Par for the course with my parents. Once they make a decision, there really isn’t any way of talking them out of it. And I was only fourteen, so there wasn’t much I could do, but try to tolerate the rest of you.”

“What about Courtney and Taylor?” Max asked. “You seemed pretty close to them.”

Victoria scoffed. “Because they were the only girls in the whole school that I could talk to without wanting to slit my wrists.”

“Hm.” Max pursed her lips. “Still. You guys seemed like you were good friends. Even if you were the ringleader. I know you helped Taylor a lot, when her mother was going through chemo.”

“Yea.” Victoria fidgeted with her fingers. “We were.”

“Do you miss them?”

“Fuck you.”

“Victoria.”

She bit her lip, glancing at her feet. “... yes,” she muttered quietly.

“Did you ever think about trying to contact them?” Max asked. “To try and apologize, for beating up Courtney and... whatever you did to Taylor?”

“Sometimes.” Victoria glanced back at Max. “Courtney, maybe. I know that Taylor won’t talk to me.”

Max raised her eyebrows. “Was it really that bad?”

Victoria leaned back into the couch, her eyes on her lap. “I stole her mother’s necklace last year,” she said quietly, shame evident on her face. “I visited her apartment, and I used her bathroom. I saw that she’d left a drawer kind-of open, and I peeked inside and... just...”

“Mm.” Max nodded. “You needed it for drugs.”

“My dealer only took cash or jewelry. And I didn’t have cash.”

“Cocaine makes people do things they regret later,” she said gently. “How have your cravings been?”

“Pretty bad,” Victoria admitted. “I didn’t sleep well last night.”

“I figured. You still remember the First Step, right?”

“That bad shit happens every time I do drugs?” Victoria snorted in amusement. “Not an easy one to forget.”

“Do you believe it?”

“... there’s plenty of supporting evidence.”

Max smirked quickly, before she leaned back in her seat. “What do you want, Victoria?”

“You asked me this already, a couple of weeks ago.”

“I don’t mean ‘what do you want to do in life’,” Max clarified. “As far as I can tell, with very few exceptions, all of your relationships with people are based on demeaning and insulting them to make yourself feel superior and less insecure.”

Victoria bristled. “You don’t have a-”

“Tell me I’m wrong.” Max folded her arms. “Aside from Courtney and Taylor, how many actual friends did you make at Blackwell?”

“I was in charge of the Vortex Club.”

“Yea, I remember. Do you?” Max raised an eyebrow. “Dana and Juliet certainly hated you, after your shenanigans came out. Zach, Logan, all the other football players, they were putting up with you because you were attractive and didn’t mind spending money on booze. Do you honestly think that any of them were actually your friends?”

Victoria looked frustrated, as she tried to formulate a response. “Nathan was a friend.”

“Is that the thread you want to pick at right now?”

“… no.”

Max nodded. “What about UCLA? I know Courtney was your roommate in the dorms. Did you make any other friends while you were there?”

“Most of those knuckle-draggers weren’t worth befriending,” Victoria shot back.

“Over forty thousand people attend classes at UCLA,” Max countered. “I refuse to believe you couldn’t have made friends with at least one other person.”

Victoria sighed. “What’s your point, Caulfield?”

“That you’ve wrapped yourself in this Mean Girls attitude, where you think your shit doesn’t stink and you’re better than the rest of us,” Max stated. “It’s all you have to cling to, now that everyone’s pretty much given up on you. And look where it’s gotten you.”

The blonde girl didn’t have an answer for that.

“You can do better, Victoria,” Max emphasized. “Have you looked at the second and third Steps?”

“... not enough to memorize them.”

“Well, they’re full of a lot of that fortune-cookie shit you don’t like very much. But they both talk about recognizing destructive patterns of thought and behavior, and how you have to be willing to do things differently.”

Victoria scoffed. “Are you telling me I should change who I am?” she asked. “Wasn’t it Marylin Monroe, who talked about handling women at their worst?”

“Around a rehab center, we try not to quote the woman who killed herself via drug overdose,” Max commented. “Marylin Monroe is not exactly an ideal role model to begin with. And Victoria, being who you are hasn’t gotten you anywhere but here.” She gestured around. “Would you actually say that it’s working for you?”

“... I really hate you, Caulfield.”

“You wouldn’t believe how often I get that. Do you think you’d be willing to try and change?”

Victoria didn’t answer.

“It’s your life, Victoria. I can’t force you to fix anything about it,” Max admitted. “But you can’t sit here and tell me with a straight face that your behavior has gotten you far.”

The blonde rested her elbows on her knees, as she kept her eyes to the ground. Max waited for her to respond silently.

“... maybe.”

“Good enough.” Max smiled. “Even small progress is good progress.”

“Yea.” Victoria sighed. “... sorry I’ve been such a bitch.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ve heard much worse.” Max leaned back into the couch. “For the record, I went to University of Oregon, not community college. And I was asked to consider their graduate programs after I got my degree.”

Victoria raised her eyebrows. “Seriously? Why didn’t you?”

“I had already received the job offer for this place.” Max shrugged. “And like I said, I wanted to help people who actually needed it, not rich people dealing with parental issues.”

Victoria smirked.

“Yes, I can see the irony.”

* * *

“_Is she really that bad?_”

“You have no idea.”

“_I mean, I heard the rumors, about her almost dying. I didn’t know they were true._”

“It was a very close call.”

“_That’s terrible. I certainly don’t like her, but... I never wanted to see her dead._”

“I’m pretty sure that put you in the minority, back then.”

“_I want to argue, but you’re probably right._”

“Does that mean you’ll help?”

“... _I don’t know._”

“I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.”

“_I’m sure. And if it was anyone else asking, I would have some very choice words for even suggesting it._”

“I know.”

“_I still don’t like her very much._”

“I know that, too.”

“_Does she really need this?_"

“That, I don’t know. But it could help. And at this point, I’ll take whatever I can get.”

“_... fine. I’ll do it._”

“Thank you.”

“_I can’t promise that I’ll be very nice to her._”

“I didn’t say you had to be.”

“_And part of me would like to punch her in the face._”

“Fair enough. Though I would rather you didn’t.”

“_What DO you want me to do, exactly?_”

“I’ll explain when you get here. I promise, it won’t be hard.”


	9. Amends

**July 6th, 2019**

_I think this crap is actually growing on me._

A little over a month into her stay at Resting Willows, Victoria had to admit it was not the worst place she’d ever been. Despite the fact that she was essentially stuck there, she did enjoy some aspects.

Like the food. Max had been right, it wasn’t the greatest. _Certainly beats sandwiches and ramen though, _Victoria figured, as she picked at her pot roast and mashed potatoes. She did notice that she was gaining weight back; her jeans were fitting her better, instead of hanging off her frame. And Max had mentioned that she was looking much healthier.

The door across the room opened, and Victoria looked up to see a familiar brunette walk into the room. _Speaking of..._

“How are you feeling?” Max asked, as she sat down.

“Okay.” She ate another bite of her food. “Tired.”

Max nodded. “To be expected. Did you see the doctor yesterday?”

“He says I need to keep eating more.” Victoria poked at her food. “Can you guys do, like, burgers? Or is everything here well-rounded and healthy?”

“Let’s put a pin in calling that ‘healthy’.” Max smirked. “I’ve seen the amount of salt and butter our cook uses. He’s not exactly a four-star chef.”

“Well, he’s got the market here cornered.”

“Fair enough.” Max drummed her fingers on the table. “I’m glad to see you putting that weight back on, too. You look a lot better than you did when you came here.”

Victoria raised an eyebrow. “You know, most women don’t like being told that they’ve put on weight.”

Max rolled her eyes. “Most women don’t get medically ordered to.”

“... I guess that’s true.” Victoria sighed, as she took another bite of her food. “And compared to what I was scrounging for myself before, this stuff isn’t that bad.”

“No, I imagine not.” Max nodded. “Hey, do you still have the card I gave you?”

“The twelve steps? Uh, yea, I think so. Hang on.” She dug into her pocket, producing the plastic card. “Why?”

“Have you read it since we talked?”

“A couple of times.” Victoria shrugged. “Like you said, there’s some really hippy, feel-good shit in here.”

“Well, that is the point.” Max gestured towards the card. “I’ve actually been thinking, about the steps in there. And how they talk about making amends to those we’ve wronged.”

“Yea, I saw that.” Victoria sighed. “I really don’t want to.”

“It’s important, Victoria.”

“I cannot think of a single person that would hear what I have to say,” Victoria muttered. “I know for sure Taylor wouldn’t. She was very clear that I never speak to her again.”

“You didn’t piss off everyone that badly,” Max reminded her. “There are a few people who would probably appreciate an apology.”

“And what am I supposed to do?” Victoria asked. “Just call them up? Be like ‘hey, Alyssa, sorry I busted your face while I was tweaking’? Or ‘hi, Juliet, I know it’s been five years, but I’m sorry I made up evidence that Zach was cheating on you for shits and giggles’?” She paused. “He really was, by the way, I don’t know if you knew or not.”

“Couldn’t care less.” Max shrugged. “And you could do a phone call. We find that letters work better. Face-to-face is usually best.”

“Yea, right.” Victoria rolled her eyes. “No way am I standing toe-to-toe with Alyssa. She’ll probably try to kill me.”

“Maybe. I would recommend the letter for her.” Max sighed. “Are you sorry, for what you did to the others?”

“I mean...” Victoria hesitated. “Yea. I was kind of a bitch, back then. I’ve never tried to claim otherwise. I just... I’m not sure if what I say will be worth anything to them.”

Max nodded and slowly stood. “I get that. Are you done eating?”

Victoria ate two more quick bites. “Yea.”

“Good. Come on."

“Where are we going?” Victoria asked, as she got to her feet.

“I thought that you might want to get some practice in,” Max said. “As far as making amends goes.”

“Practice? How?” Victoria raised an eyebrow, as she followed Max out of the cafeteria. “You gonna critique my letters or something?”

“Or something.”

Max didn’t elaborate. She led the way down the hall, taking a couple of turns; Victoria noted that they were getting close to the entrance of the center, an area she wasn’t very familiar with. She didn’t ask any questions as she followed her counselor.

They finally stopped at a room just off the entrance. “Inside,” Max said, as she held the door open.

Victoria walked in ahead of Max, glancing around. The room was small, not much bigger than her bedroom back home. It had a couple of couches and some chairs around a coffee table, alongside some potted plants. On the far side, a large window overlooked the front of the building.

And the room wasn’t empty. Victoria blinked as she noticed the woman sitting on one of the couches, looking at her impassively. She glanced over her quickly; black skirt, white shirt under a grey sweater, blonde hair done up in a loose bun, gold crucifix around her neck...

Victoria’s blood ran cold as she realized who it was, and she froze after taking two steps into the room. Her mouth opened, but no sound came out.

“You remember Kate, right?” Max asked, as she closed the door behind them.

“No,” Victoria whispered, as she turned back to Max. “No, Max, no, I don’t want to do this, I-”

“Victoria,” Max started firmly. “Steps eight and nine are about making amends to the people we wronged. This is-”

“I can’t.” Victoria shook her head. “I can’t, Max, please don’t make me-”

“Yes, you can.” Max took her shoulder and tried to turn her around.

Victoria refused to budge. “I don’t want to do this. I want to go,” she breathed as she reached for the door handle behind Max.

The brunette moved quickly to block it. “Victoria, you’re being very rude. Kate drove a long way to see you.”

“Max, I’m not.... I can’t do this.”

“You CAN do this,” Max implored her. “Come on. Sit down, at least.”

“I-”

A sigh from behind her interrupted whatever she was about to say. “Should I go?” Kate asked.

Victoria stiffened at the sound of her voice.

“No.” Max glanced over Victoria’s shoulder. “Just... she needs a minute. Victoria, come on,” Max continued. “Just sit down.”

Victoria let Max pushed her further into the room. Before she knew it, she was sitting on the couch across from Kate.

“Now.” Max took a seat in one of the chairs, sitting between Victoria and Kate. “For starters, Kate... I really do appreciate you coming all the way down here from Tacoma. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Kate looked across the coffee table. “How are you, Victoria?”

She couldn’t answer. Victoria didn’t look at Kate, keeping her eyes on the coffee table between them.

Kate sighed after a few seconds. “Max?”

“Just… we’ll get there.” Max turned to Kate. “How are you? It’s been a couple of years. I heard you got signed by a publisher?”

“The second one I talked to. The first does background checks into new authors.” She glanced at Victoria. “That video from senior year is still on the internet. They saw it, and decided not to sign me."

Victoria’s gut clenched, as she focused on the table.

“I’m sorry,” Max said sincerely.

“It’s fine. I spoke to another agent. She liked my book, and was sympathetic when I explained what happened. She agreed to work with me so long as I used a pseudonym.”

“Still.” Max glanced at Victoria, before looking back at Kate. “When is your book getting published?”

“Later this year.” Kate smiled. “I have to admit, I do like the name she picked for me. ‘Stacy Anderson’ has a nice ring to it. I got signed for a three-book deal, with an option for more if they sell well enough."

Max smiled. “That’s pretty cool. All children’s books?”

“Yea.” Kate looked back at Victoria. “They deal with social issues that kids face. The agent really liked the first one, about bullying.”

Victoria bit her lip, remaining silent.

“I can’t wait to read it.” Max paused. “I’m actually kind of surprised the video is still on the internet, to be honest. You couldn’t have YouTube pull it?”

“I tried, trust me, but it’s not on YouTube. It’s on a server overseas, that has a bunch of other... well, they’re not very nice videos.” She shook her head. “I sent them a message, to get it off their web site. They replied back asking for money, in really broken English. Pretty sure it’s a scam.”

“Jeez.” Max winced. “How much did they want?”

“Five thousand dollars.”

“Wow.”

Kate nodded. “Yea. Even if I did have that lying around, I don’t think they’d take it down.”

“You can’t sue for it to be removed?”

“I asked a lawyer. Complications of international law aside, the web site is hosted in a country that’s known for ignoring American court orders.” Kate sighed again. “It’s just something I’ll have to deal with.”

“I’m sorry.” Max frowned. “What country is it in?”

“Oh...” Kate looked up. “Belgium? No, that’s not right. Bermuda, maybe? I know it begins with a ‘B’, but for the life of me I can never remember-”

“Belarus.”

Max and Kate both paused, glancing at Victoria. The blonde still refused to look at Kate. “Huh?” Max asked.

“It’s in Belarus,” Victoria repeated quietly.

“... yea. That’s it.” Kate tilted her head. “How did you know?”

Victoria sniffed. “You’re right. It is a scam. They would have taken your money and asked for more.”

“Victoria?” Max asked carefully.

She finally looked up at Kate, and they saw that her eyes were moist. “I’m sorry.”

Kate blinked in surprise. “V-”

“I tried,” Victoria interrupted, looking back at the coffee table. “I went back and forth with those cocksuckers a bunch of times. They got me up to ten grand before my father told me to stop. They won’t take it down no matter how much you send them.”

Kate stared in disbelief. “You… really tried to get it taken down?”

“I’m sorry,” Victoria repeated. She sniffed deeply, rubbing her nose. “I just wanted to bust your balls, and push you off your high horse. I hated all that religious bullshit you were shooting off, and your fucking abstinence club, and I thought you were just so fucking annoying...”

Her breath caught, and she wiped her eyes before she continued. “I had no idea Nathan dosed you.”

The statement ended on a high note as Victoria’s voice cracked. Her lips started trembling, and she hastily wiped her eyes again. Max and Kate stayed silent, letting her regain her composure.

“I just thought you were drunk,” Victoria choked out, after a few seconds. “I thought it was funny, that the good catholic girl had finally tossed her inhibitions in the trash and was making a fool out of herself. I didn’t know what Nathan and that... shithead, Jefferson, were going to do.” She swallowed forcefully. “I wanted to take you down a peg. I didn’t... I didn’t mean to make you want to...”

Victoria paused, and tried to take a breath. Instead of exhaling, she coughed out a sob. She quickly hung her head, squeezing her eyes shut and struggling to control her breathing as she tried, very hard, not to cry.

She was so focused that she didn’t notice Kate get up. It wasn’t until the other girl sat next to her that she opened her eyes, looking beside her. Kate laid a gentle hand on Victoria’s shoulder.

“It’s okay, Victoria,” she said quietly.

“Oh, Jesus.” Victoria sniffled, wiping her nose; she could feel the snot starting to drip down her face. “No, it’s not. That video is still out there, and I’m a fucking bitch for putting it online.”

“Maybe.” Kate paused. “But... that means a lot, that you tried to get it taken down. Especially for that much money.”

“I...” Victoria sniffed deeply. “I’m so sorry, Kate.”

Kate rubbed her shoulder, not speaking for a few seconds. “Are you doing better?” she asked. “Since you came here? I know your life hasn’t been... you know, easy.”

Victoria scoffed. “I fucked up your life, Kate. You don’t have to pretend to care about mine.”

“You really didn’t,” Kate replied. “My book is getting published later this year. I have an amazing fiancé named Hector. We live in a very nice house in Tacoma.” She smiled. “And he doesn’t know that I’m six weeks pregnant.”

Max leaned forward in her chair. “You are?!” she exclaimed.

“Yes. Please keep that to yourself. I haven’t told him yet.” She looked back at Victoria. “You didn’t ruin my life, Victoria. You can stop kicking yourself for that.”

Victoria was staring at her, blinking through her tears. “You...” she sniffed. “You’re pregnant?”

“Yes.”

A small smile crossed her face. “Outside of marriage?”

Kate rolled her eyes. “The irony is not lost on me, I assure you.”

“Sorry.” Victoria wiped her eyes on her sleeve. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you.” Kate squeezed her shoulder. “And I really am glad to see that you’re getting help. I’ve heard the stories about you, and... well, they’re a little scary.”

“Yea.” Victoria looked down at her lap. “I’m told I make for good gossip.”

“Some people seem to think so.” Kate paused. “Seriously, Victoria. How are you doing?”

Victoria shrugged. “Better,” she answered, sniffling. “Max keeps kicking my ass.”

Kate smirked, as she glanced back at Max.

“She needs it,” Max said defensively.

“Yea.” Victoria sighed. “Kate, I’m just... I’m so sorry, for what I did.”

“I know.” Kate squeezed her shoulder. “I accept your apology.”

“... thank you.” Victoria wiped her nose on her sleeve again.

“What have you been doing?” Kate asked. “I don’t mean to pry, but all the rumors floating around on Facebook...” she hesitated. “Somebody, I think it was Logan, posted last week that you overdosed.”

Max furrowed her brow. “I didn’t see that.”

“It was in a comment on one of Zach’s posts.” Kate shrugged. “I don’t know how many people actually read it.”

“Yea.” Victoria nodded. “My asshole dealer sold me coke that was mixed with something.”

“Oh, no.” Kate looked at her with wide eyes. “Are you okay?”

“Sure. One heart attack won’t kill me, right?”

“That’s not funny, Victoria.”

“All I can do is laugh about it.” Victoria looked back at her lap. “You don’t have to pretend to feel bad for me, Kate. Not after what I did.”

“I don’t want to hear that,” Kate scolded as she tightened her grip on Victoria’s shoulder. “You’re not trash to throw away, Victoria. You need help.”

Victoria sighed. “That is why my father sent me here.”

“Well.” Kate sat back. “What can I do?”

“I...” Victoria hesitated. “I don’t know.”

Kate pursed her lips. “Does anyone come see you?”

Victoria shook her head. “You’re the first. My parents haven’t even made their way down.”

“Then I’ll come visit.” Kate looked at Max. “That’s okay, right?”

Max nodded. “Once a week,” she said. “Sundays, for lunch.”

Victoria frowned. “It’s Saturday.”

“I got my boss to bend the rules.” Max shrugged. “This isn’t really a social visit anyway.”

“Okay.” Kate looked back at Victoria. “I can’t come tomorrow, I have plans. But I can come next Sunday and see how you’re doing.”

“Kate, we’re two hours away from Tacoma,” Victoria said. “You can’t drive all the way out here just to see me.”

“I can, actually.” Kate smirked. “I drive a Prius, so I get good gas mileage. And it’s only ninety minutes from my house. I will come see you next Sunday.”

Victoria opened her mouth to argue, but couldn’t come up with anything to say. She finally sighed, and glanced down at her lap. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

* * *

“Hello?”

“_Hi, __Max. I’m very sorry to bother you so late._”

“Oh, Mister Chase. It’s okay, I was still awake.”

“_I just wanted to check and see how Victoria was doing._”

“Better. She’s been making progress.”

“_I’m glad to hear that. Is there anything you guys need?_”

“Not really... but, um, while I have you, is it okay if I ask you a couple of questions?”

“_Sure._”

“Well, Victoria mentioned that she didn’t want to go to Blackwell, and that you and your wife made her.”

“_Is she still angry about that?_”

“I don’t think so, it was just something that came up. Can I ask... why did you make her go?”

“_Well... my wife and I thought it was best for her._”

“How so?”

“_It’s a little complicated. Did she mention that she was going to a private school in Seattle?_”

“She did.”

“_Her classmates were all children from families that came from money comparable to ours. Many of them were... well, I’m sure you can imagine that children from our tax bracket can be somewhat entitled._”

“I’ve heard. Was that the problem?”

“_Partially. The rest of it was the other students she was hanging out with._”

“They were bad influences?”

“_Not how you’re thinking. Our daughter... she didn’t play with any of them. She planned._”

“She... I’m sorry, she planned? What does that mean?”

“_They were fourteen years old, and already discussing markets and stocks. Investments. How to handle money they didn’t even have yet. Talking about high-end purchases, and whether Louis Vuitton was a better status symbol than Gucci._”

“I’m not sure I understand why that bothered you.”

“_We wanted Victoria to have a regular childhood, Max. Not one that was dominated by our wealth._”

“So you sent her to Blackwell to... what, exactly? Get a taste of a lower social class?”

“_No, nothing so insulting. She was still a child; we wanted her to make friends, not future business partners._”

“Ah.”

“_I know that doesn’t sound particularly... parental. But my wife and I didn’t want her to be like us, constantly trying to determine if our friends are actual friends or just people who find it convenient to be in our social circle. I’ve no doubt some of them would stab me in the back if it benefitted them._”

“Wow.”

“_Does that answer your question?_”

“Yes. Though it certainly wasn’t the answer I was expecting.”

“_What were you expecting, if I can ask?_”

“Honestly, I’m not really sure. Victoria seems to think you sent her just because Blackwell was a good school.”

“_Well, that was part of it. Your old high school is rated among the best in the Pacific Northwest. There were others near us, of course, but we didn’t think it best for Victoria to stay so close to Seattle._”

“Fair enough. May I ask another question?”

“_Certainly._”

“Have you thought about coming down to visit her?”

“_I have. I... I do want to see her._ _But..._”

“But... what?”

“_... Max, I doubt this will surprise you, but my wife and I don’t consider ourselves to be very good parents, at the moment._”

“What are you worried about?”

“_Honestly... I don’t know if Victoria cares for us very much._”

“Mister Chase... I want to ask another question that might sound kind of bad. Or condescending. But I don’t want it to be taken like that.”

“_I won’t, then._”

“When was the last time Victoria heard that you loved her? From you or your wife?”

“_..._”

“Mister Chase?”

“_You can call me Derek, Max. And... I honestly don’t know._”

“Mm.”

“_Like I said. My wife and I don’t consider ourselves to be very good parents right now._”

“I’m not judging, Mi- uh, Derek. I promise. But... I do think hearing it would do Victoria some good. Especially since...”

“_What?_”

“Victoria didn’t believe me, when I told her you’d given me your personal phone number. She doesn’t seem to think that you believe she’s worth it.”

“_... I never realized she thought we cared so little for her._”

“You and your wife visiting could go a long way, Derek.”

“_I’ll... I’ll see what we can do, Max. We’ll call you back._”


	10. Letters

**July 8th, 2019**

Victoria sighed, as she scratched the back of her neck. “I think I’m finished,” she said quietly.

“Oh?” Max looked over at the notepad in front of Victoria, and the names she’d listed. “Wow.”

“Yea.” Victoria shook her head sadly. “I guess you don’t realize how many people you pissed off until you have to write their names down.”

Max looked over the list. She recognized a few of them, but the others were a mystery. “Who’s Jenkins?”

“The teacher I threw a cup of hot coffee at, back at UCLA. He had to go to the ER for burns.” Victoria looked at Max. “That was also when I punched Courtney, for trying to keep my stash away from me.”

“Ah.” Max kept reading. “That’s longer than I thought it would be.”

Victoria smirked. “Sorry to disappoint you.”

“It’s... yea. I got nothing.” Max sighed. “Um... not to tell you who you have or haven’t hurt, but there are a couple of people you should consider adding.”

“Who?” Victoria frowned, looking at her list. “I don’t think I missed anyone.”

Max leaned forward. “I know your relationship isn’t... well, it’s not very good. But do you think your parents deserve some kind of apology?”

Victoria didn’t answer for a few seconds, as she stared back at the paper. “… probably.”

Max studied her face. “You don’t sound very sure.”

“Sorry.” Victoria leaned back in her chair, setting her pencil down. “I did put them through a lot of shit. And I know they spent a small fortune, trying to keep me out of jail and in school.” She paused. “Plus, it was their cash I was spending on drugs.”

“But...” Max prodded.

“I... don’t know.” Victoria placed her elbows on the table, as she looked back at her list. “It’s just... I did bad shit to all these people, and they really didn’t deserve it. I was angry at my parents before I spent all their cash on blow.”

“Because of Blackwell?”

“That, too.” Victoria sighed. “Sending me away from my friends and Seattle definitely made me hate them a lot. And then there was the missed holidays, birthdays, vacations where I was essentially by myself...”

Max nodded. “Your parents weren’t around very much.”

“No. My dad was always off making more money, and my mother had various social engagements.” Victoria shook her head. “The summer before Senior year, I spent four weeks basically running around Europe by myself.”

“Your parents didn’t go with you?” Max asked incredulously. “How did you manage that? You were a minor.”

“I was with a ‘guardian’.” Victoria held up her hands and gestured with air quotes, at that last word. “Some employee of my dad’s who couldn’t have given less of a shit. I did whatever the hell I wanted. I spent most of that month drunk out of my mind.”

“Wow.” Max paused. “You’re still angry at your parents for all that?”

Victoria bit her lip and averted her eyes. “Maybe,” she conceded. “I... never mind.”

“What?”

“It’s stupid. And juvenile.”

“My favorite kind of movie.” Max leaned forward. “Spill.”

“Jesus.” Victoria shook her head. “It’s... sometimes I wonder, if they had bothered to pay attention when I was younger, would they have noticed that I was always drinking? And smoking pot? And buying cheap prescription meds in Europe, to smuggle back in my luggage?” She paused. “And maybe... fuck, I don’t know. Done something about it?”

Max pursed her lips. “... do you blame them for where you are now?”

Victoria sighed. “I know it’s my own fault that I’m here. But... sometimes I wonder if it’s not a little bit theirs, too.” She looked back at Max. “Is that narcissistic, or what?”

“Maybe a little,” Max acknowledged. “But it’s not narcissism if you recognize it.”

“That doesn’t make me feel better.” Victoria looked back at her list, then slowly reached out and picked the pencil back up. “But I guess I at least should apologize for all their money I spent on drugs.”

Max nodded, as Victoria wrote her parent’s names at the bottom of her list.

* * *

_Alyssa-_

_I want to start this by saying how sorry I am for what I did._

_Hopefully that gets you to not toss the rest of this letter in the trash, assuming you haven’t already. I know you have no reason to accept any apologies from me, and just saying it doesn’t make up for breaking your nose back at Blackwell._

_If I was trying to weasel out of it, I would just tell you that I was high. I snorted a line of coke before I left my dorm room, and what you said really hit home. Not because I disagreed, but because I knew you were right, and I didn’t want to hear the truth from anyone._

_But the drugs don’t matter. I don’t want to use them as a crutch for this. My behavior at Blackwell was horrendous, even before everything happened. I just want you to know how sorry I am for what I did. And if we ever meet face-to-face again, I understand if you want to return the favor._

_I would appreciate a couple of seconds to prepare, though._

_-Victoria_

* * *

**July 10th, 2019**

“It sounds very sincere.”

Victoria blinked. “You think so?”

Kate nodded, as she folded the letter and slid it back across the table. “Was it hard to write?”

“A little,” Victoria admitted. “Max says I suck at apologizing.” She sighed. “In my defense... I didn’t really do it very often, before.”

“No, I imagine not.” Kate smirked. “Who else are you writing letters to?”

“Everyone.” Victoria looked up as she tried to remember everyone on her list. “Dana, Juliet, a few teachers, Chloe Price’s mother, and a bunch of the other students from Blackwell.”

“Hmm.” Kate nodded. “What about Taylor? And Courtney?”

“... them, too.” Victoria averted her eyes. “I don’t know if they want it, though. I was really shitty to both of them.”

“There’s nothing lost in sending letters, Victoria.”

“You sound like Max.” Victoria leaned back in her chair. “I am. I just have no idea how to even begin to apologize for what I did. Saying ‘I’m sorry’ just doesn’t cut it for breaking Courtney’s nose. Or trying to steal Taylor’s dead mother’s necklace to sell for coke.”

Kate nodded sympathetically. “I’m sure that fact that you really are sorry will mean something.”

“I hope so.”

“How are you doing?” Kate asked, changing direction. “With your recovery, I mean. I did some research online, and it said that full withdrawal symptoms could take a while to go away.”

Victoria nodded. “It’s... better,” she admitted quietly. “I sleep through the night, sometimes. And Max is pretty good about pulling me out of a funk. But...” she hesitated. “I still miss it. Like, really, really badly.”

Kate raised her eyebrows. “Even after everything?”

“Even after all of it.” Victoria glanced down at her lap. “If you dropped a dime-bag in front of me, I couldn’t promise that I wouldn’t do a line right here on the table.”

“God.” Kate shuddered. “I didn’t know cocaine was that addictive.”

“It’s amazing, Kate. I can’t even begin to describe it.” Victoria looked at her. “The feeling you get... I never felt anything like it before, the first time I tried it. I was feeling like a real piece of shit, and just hated everything. Frank Bowers, back in Arcadia Bay, told me that coke was a good pick-me-up, so I tried it. And he undersold it. It really felt that good.”

“That’s actually pretty scary.” Kate shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “I would hope that a drug like that would have a negative effect, or something, to keep people from enjoying it so much.”

Victoria shrugged.

“But I don’t think you give yourself enough credit,” Kate added. “You’re a pretty headstrong woman. I think you could resist the temptation, if it came down to it.”

“I wish I had your confidence.” Victoria shook her head. “Can we talk about something else?”

“Like what?”

“How about your fiancé?” Victoria smirked. “Does Hector know he’s going to be a dad yet?”

“He does.” Kate smiled. “I put the pregnancy test in a gift bag, and gave it to him. The look on his face was priceless.”

Victoria snorted. “Oh, God, that’s awesome.” She paused. “And a little unhygienic.”

“Why is it- oh. OH. Ew, gross, no.” Kate shook her head vehemently. “Not the stick, Victoria. I went to my OB/GYN and had the test confirmed. I gave him the paper results.”

“Nice. Does that affect your guy’s wedding planning?”

“Yea, we talked about that after he calmed down. We’re gonna push the date back a few months. We haven’t paid any money yet, so it should be pretty simple.”

“Good thing.” Victoria wiggled her eyebrows. “Can’t walk down the aisle with a baby bump. Imagine the scandal.”

“I’m a Catholic woman who’s about to have a baby as a result of pre-marital sex,” she pointed out. “We passed the point of scandal a long time ago.”

“True.” Victoria nodded. “What changed your mind?”

“About what?” Kate looked confused.

“I mean... you tried to start an abstinence club, back at Blackwell,” Victoria reminded her. “Not to bring back old memories, but I figured you had sights set on joining a convent or something.”

Kate rolled her eyes. “I never planned on becoming a nun, Victoria.”

“Okay, but you know what I’m saying, right?”

“Yea.” Kate shrugged. “Well, I still had that mindset, when I first went off to college. But it wasn’t quite as fulfilling, I guess, as it was at Blackwell. My faith bought me a lot of comfort back then, but after everything happened... I don’t know. It just wasn’t the same.”

Victoria felt her gut clench, as her gaze fell to her lap. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly.

“Honestly, Victoria, I’m not that upset about it,” Kate assured her. “It did help me come out of my shell, a little bit. I actually went to a few parties, following my friends when they went pub-crawling... it was a good experience.”

Victoria tried to ignore her guilt, as she absorbed what Kate said. “You actually went pub-crawling?”

“I did. And I had a lot of fun while I was doing it.” Kate nodded. “I met Hector at a dive bar in Eureka.”

“Wow.”

“Oh, I haven’t shown you his picture, have I?” Kate pulled her phone from her pocket, quickly bringing up an image and showing Victoria.

He was pretty handsome, she had to admit. He towered over Kate, easily six feet tall, and was wearing a polo shirt with well-worn jeans and boots. His black hair was not excessively long, but it was slicked down with gel, and he had a fashionable amount of scruff on his face. The arm he had around Kate’s shoulder was heavily tattooed.

“He looks nothing like what I imagined,” Victoria commented.

“You should have seen my mother’s face when they met.” Kate smirked. “She doesn’t like him. Thinks he’s a terrible Christian because he has tattoos and drinks alcohol.”

“I thought you guys met in a bar. Do you not drink?”

“I do, but my mother doesn’t know that.”

Victoria smirked back. “What does he do?”

“He’s a lineman. Works for the local electric company back in Tacoma.” Kate put her phone away. “He was actually celebrating when we met, because he’d just been promoted to Journeyman.”

“That’s pretty cool.” Victoria nodded. “I’m happy for you. And...” she hesitated. “It does feel good, to know that I didn’t totally screw up your life.”

Kate smiled. “Little bit of a load off?”

“Something like that.”

* * *

_Professor Jenkins-_

_I’d really, really like to hope you don’t remember me, but I’m pretty sure I left enough of an impression._

_When you last spoke, you told me that I had a problem. I know you were probably talking about my abysmal academic performance, or my terrible attendance record. I’m sure you know what my problem really was, by now._

_I was high when I went to see you. I did drugs right before I left the dorm room that morning. I don’t want to blame them for what I did; I know it was my fault, for taking them in the first place. But that was why I reacted so badly when you told me that I wasn’t allowed to re-schedule the mid-term._

_I know my father paid for your expenses, and had you sign a non-disclosure. I wanted you to hear, from me, that I am sorry for what I did. And I’m sorry it took so long for me to say that to you. _

_-Victoria Chase_


	11. Replies

**July 17th, 2019**

Victoria licked her lips, as she slowly stood from her chair.

“My name’s Victoria,” she said quietly to the rest of the group. “And... I’m an addict.”

The chorus of “Hi, Victoria” that followed her statement made her tense up a little bit. She tried to ignore all the eyes that were on her.

“It’s been...” she hesitated. “Um... crap. I, uh, forgot to count this morning.”

A handful of chuckles rang out. Max, standing at the back of the room, held up four fingers, then five.

“Oh. It’s been forth-five days since the last time I got high.” She paused. “I, uh, keep waiting for the craving to go away, but it doesn’t. Even though it almost killed me, I still miss the coke. Really, really bad.” She glanced at Henry, watching impassively. “No offense, but I’m really hoping I still don’t feel like this after twenty years.”

He smiled.

“My counselor’s been doing a pretty good job of pointing out what a piece of shit I was,” she continued, to a few more chuckles. “I’m trying to do better. I’ve been writing letters to a few people. I have no idea if they got them or not. And I really don’t know what to say, to a few of them. I mean... ‘I’m sorry’ doesn’t feel like enough, for breaking the nose of my friend when she tried to take away my stash.”

She shook her head. “This sucks,” she finally said with a sigh. “I really wish, some days, that I could go back in time to the moment I snorted that first line. And just start beating the shit out of myself for being so fucking stupid.”

Not feeling like she had anything else to say, she shrugged silently and sat back down.

* * *

“Hearing you speak was a nice change of pace.”

Victoria glanced over at Henry, as the meeting ended and the others left. “How bad was I?” she asked. “I don’t really have much of a way with words.”

“Not as bad as you think you were, I assure you.” He smiled. “I’ve seen much worse.”

“I bet.” Victoria sighed. “It doesn’t feel like it really did anything.”

“Talking about your addiction is important,” Henry stressed. “Communication with others helps you stay sober. People can’t help you if they don’t know how you’re feeling.”

“What, like shit?”

“Hopeless.” Henry looked pointedly at the wall behind her. “You’ve seen that, right?”

She looked over her shoulder. While she’d noticed that there was writing on the wall, she hadn’t actually paid attention to what it said. Big blue letters practically shouted at her, spelling out ONE DAY AT A TIME.

“... I don’t get it.”

“You’re thinking too far out,” he explained. “Don’t worry about how you’re going to feel in twenty years, Victoria. Just focus on getting through today.” He smirked. “Tomorrow is Future Victoria’s problem.”

She scoffed. “Yea, but I’m acutely aware that I’ll still miss the coke tomorrow.”

“Then focus on something else.” Henry leaned back in his chair. “Have you tried to apologize for breaking your friend’s nose?”

“No,” Victoria muttered. “I’m still writing letters. I have been for a couple of weeks. But I really don’t know what to say to her.”

“But you are going to write her?”

“Yea.” She sighed heavily. “Eventually.”

Henry nodded. “Has anyone written you back?”

She shook her head.

“That happens, too.” He shrugged. “Not everyone will reply. But they will read the letter. And I assure you, they’ll appreciate it.”

* * *

She was still thinking about doing lines of coke, when she went back to her room. At least, until she opened the door.

Victoria was aware of how mail worked at the rehab center. It had been explained that any mail that came for her would be left on her bed in the afternoon. She hadn’t thought much about it, since she hadn’t gotten any.

But there was now a white envelope on her bed.

She slowly walked across the room, staring at it for several seconds before picking it up. Turning it over, she scanned the return address to see who it was from. And as soon as she saw the name, she felt the blood leave her face.

Victoria left, making her way towards the offices. It took a few minutes to get there, though she was so lost in her mind that she barely remembered the journey. She came out of her daze when she found Max at her desk, typing on a computer.

Max looked up as she sat down in the chair across from her. Victoria wordlessly put the envelope on the table, sliding it towards her.

“Someone wrote back,” Max stated.

“Yea.”

Her counselor picked up the letter, turning it over to look at the name. She glanced back at Victoria with arched eyebrows.

“Why haven’t you opened it?”

“... I don’t want to.”

Max put the envelope down. “Why not?”

“Because my best friend killed her daughter.” Victoria exhaled slowly. “I’m not sure if I want to know what she said to me.”

“What did you say, exactly, in your letter to Joyce?”

“That, uh...” Victoria licked her lips. “That I was sorry. For what Nathan did. And not knowing what he was doing. And I told her that if I had known, I swear I would’ve stopped him.” She paused. “And that I regret, every day, what happened. That I’d do anything to fix it.”

“Do you want me to see what she wrote?”

Victoria nodded. “Just... I don’t want to know if she calls me a piece of shit, of something.”

Max retrieved a letter opener, cutting through the envelope and producing a folded hand-written note. She opened it and started reading it silently. Victoria forced herself to take shallow breaths, as she tried not to think about everything Joyce Madsen would have said to her.

After a few minutes, Max put the letter down. She took a deep breath, before she started speaking. “She accepted your apology.”

Victoria blinked. “She... did?”

“Joyce said the she appreciated what you wrote. And that she’s heard about the trouble you’ve been having.” Max pushed the letter back towards Victoria. “She said that she hopes you’re getting better. And that she’s going to keep you in her prayers.”

Victoria took the letter back, reading it for herself. She glanced back at Max after she was done. “... I don’t get it.”

“Is something about it confusing?”

“No, but...” Victoria put the letter down. “Chloe’s dead. And she just...”

“Victoria, Joyce never blamed you for what happened. She certainly doesn’t like Nathan very much; if he ever wrote her a letter, she’d probably chuck it into the fireplace. But you’re hardly to blame for what he did.”

“I could have stopped it,” she muttered. “I knew he was having issues.”

“Did you know he had a gun?”

“No.”

“Then there was nothing you could have done.” Max shrugged. “Victoria, not everyone is going to appreciate what you’re doing, by sending those letters. But I think you’re underestimating what an apology will mean to a lot of people.”

“Could’ve fooled me.” Victoria glanced at the letter in her hand. “Nobody else has written back.”

Max pressed her lips together. Then she opened a drawer on her desk and reached inside. She came back up with a few envelopes, setting them down on the desk and nudging them towards Victoria. The blonde saw that they were addressed to her.

“What are those?”

“People who’ve written you back.”

Victoria glanced back and forth between Max and the letters. “... you’ve been intercepting my mail?”

“Your mail comes to this office first. I’m the one who put the letter on your bed this afternoon.”

“I- why are- wait, you’ve just been keeping-”

“I knew what Joyce wrote,” Max interrupted. “She called me when she got your letter, and told me what she wanted to say. But I don’t know what these people have said.” She nodded towards the envelopes. “I didn’t want your first letter to be a negative one.”

Victoria glanced at the stack in front of her. After a few seconds, she picked them up and started looking at the return addresses. “... Alyssa wrote me back?”

“She was the first one I got.” Max nodded. “About a week ago. The rest have been trickling in.”

“Professor Jenkins... Dana Ward... Brooke Scott... Kevin Ballard...”

“Who is that, by the way?”

“Another student who went to UCLA.” Victoria held up the envelope. “I crashed my Audi into his crappy Honda while he was pulling into a parking space. Then I got pissed because he wrecked my car, and I tried to fight him.” She sighed. “Another thing my parents had to deal with.”

“You were high?”

“I was high for most of the time I was there.” Victoria set the letter down, looking at the others. “... I don’t know if I want to open any of these, either.”

Max smirked. “If you’re going to limit the letters you open to people you didn’t piss off, it’s gonna be a short list.”

“Yea, okay.” Victoria sighed, plucking one from the stack. “Let’s just get this over with.”

She was silent as she opened the envelope, reading the letter in it’s entirety. And the next one. Max watched wordlessly as Victoria read through all five letters, her face devoid of emotion as she absorbed what people had written to her.

Max finally cleared her throat as Victoria put the last letter down. “Well?”

“Jenkins said he appreciated the letter. And that he hoped I got the help I needed. So did Dana. Kevin said he didn’t really hold a grudge, since the settlement he got from my parents paid for a new car.” She smirked. “Alyssa said the same thing, pretty much. She figured I was on something, and she accepted my apology. But she was gonna decline the offer to punch me back.”

“You offered to let her hit you?”

“I did. But she said she’d already spent the settlement money on her college tuition, and didn’t have enough to pay for knocking me out in revenge.”

“Yea, that sounds like her.” Max paused. “What about Brooke?”

Victoria shrugged. “Nothing worth mentioning.”

“Come on, Victoria.”

She sighed. “She said that she didn’t care. And told me to lose her address.”

“Hm.” Max shook her head. “Well... like I said. Not everyone is going to appreciate what you’re doing.”

“I guess not.” Victoria put the letters down. “Four out of five ain’t bad, right?”

“Exactly. You’re doing the right thing, Victoria. Just stay positive about it.” Max looked back at the letters. “How many do you still have to send?”

“A couple.”

“To who?”

“Courtney. And Taylor.”

“Oh. Right.” Max sighed. “Sorry. I’m, uh... still trying to get their addresses.”

Victoria took a short breath. “They don’t want to hear from me, do they?”

Max bit her lip.

* * *

**Two weeks prior**

“_No._”

“But-”

“_Don’t even fucking think about it._”

“She’s just trying to-”

“_You know how much effort I put in, to try and stop her from doing coke? All I got for my trouble was empty promises, a total of three hundred bucks that went missing from my purse over a year, and a broken nose. I am DONE with her, Max. That door is firmly closed._”

“Courtney, it’s just a-”

“_I don’t want to hear it. I’m glad that she’s not dead. But I have a life here, and a career I’m still working on. I am over Victoria’s shit._”

“She’s CLEAN, Courtney. It’s a letter. That’s all.”

“_Yea, she swore to me four times, back at UCLA, that she was done with the blow. You ever read about the boy who cried wolf?_”

“This is not like-”

“_Save your breath. You’re not going to convince me. And by the way, don’t even THINK about asking Taylor, because she’ll be a lot less fuckin’ nice about it than I am._”

“But-”

“_I have to go, I’m busy._”

“Courtney-”

*_click_*

* * *

“... not right now.” Max shook her head. “But you should still write the letters.”

“Yea.” Victoria nodded with downcast eyes. “I will.”

* * *

**Max: **I didn’t appreciate that.

**Brooke:** Appreciate what?

**Max:** You know what. Don’t act dumb, you’re not good at it.

**Brooke:** Ah. Well, I don’t know what she wanted out of me, but she got the truth.

**Max:** You seriously don’t care that she’s sorry? And she’s trying to stay sober?

**Brooke:** Nope.

**Max:** What an incredible attitude for a future doctor to have.

**Brooke:** This isn’t Future Doctor talking. This is Brooke. The girl who watched Victoria make people cry, and break Alyssa’s nose, and degrade everyone at that school. And then get away with literal murder by hiding behind Daddy’s money.

**Brooke:** As far as I’m concerned, this is karma catching up with her.

**Max:** Maybe. But she’s actively trying to make things right and do better. You had the opportunity to be a bigger person, and instead you decided to be a bitch.

**Brooke:** Gee, Max, tell me how you really feel.

**Max:** I am. Addiction is a disease. Which is why when people decide to try and beat it, we support and encourage them, not tear them down.

**Max:** Your letter hurt Victoria more than she’s letting on. You just sabotaged my effort to help her want to stay sober. And as her counselor, I do not appreciate you being a fucking asshole.

**Brooke:** Oh, please. That ‘disease’ crap is bullshit.

**Max:** Tell that to the AMA. And maybe pay more attention in your ethics classes, because this explains why your fiancé is doing better than you.

**Brooke:** Eat me.

**Max:** I don’t eat rotten food. Tell Warren I said hi.


	12. Parents

**Jul 26th, 2019**

“Very good. Certainly much better than when you first got here.”

Victoria smirked, as she got off the scale. “That mean I can start my diet again?”

“No.” The doctor scribbled in his chart. “You’re still underweight. No dieting.”

“But I like being skinny.”

“There’s skinny, and there’s unhealthy. I’ve seen supermodels with higher BMI numbers than you.” The doctor set down his clipboard and pulled the stethoscope from around his neck. “Remove your shirt, please.”

She did as instructed, slightly self-conscious that her ribs were still showing under her bra. The doctor put the stethoscope to her chest, listening for a few moments. “Your heart sounds good,” he told her. “Recovering nicely. But you’re not there yet. Any chest pain?”

“A little, but it’s not bad.”

“Good.” He re-slung the stethoscope and made another note. “No using the gym, either. You’re not ready for strenuous physical activity yet.”

“... okay.” She put her shirt back on. “Can I go now?”

“Sure.”

She slipped out of the office to find Max waiting for her in the hallway. “So?” her counselor asked, as she stood from the chair. “How are you doing?”

“Better, I guess.” Victoria sat down heavily. “He says I still need to eat more. And I’m still not allowed to use the gym, which sucks.”

Max frowned as she sat back down. “I didn’t know you wanted to use the gym.”

“I think it’s more about being told that I can’t.” Victoria shrugged. “He said no strenuous activity. Probably bad for my heart if it starts beating too fast. So maybe we should push this meeting back a few more-”

“No,” Max said immediately. “It was hard enough to arrange it.”

“Of course.” Victoria sighed. “What was I thinking, that my father would take time out of his schedule for me.”

“He’s flying down from Seattle to see you.”

“It’s a lot less of an inconvenience when he owns the plane, Max.”

Max paused. “... he does?”

“Last I knew, he owned three of them.”

“Must be nice planes.”

“Very.” Victoria hugged herself as she leaned forward, bracing her elbows on her knees; she was suddenly very tired. “I don’t even know what I want to say. Or what HE’S going to say.”

“He wants to see how you’re doing,” Max said. “I’ve been telling him that you’re making great progress. You have no idea how much hearing that meant to him.”

Victoria scoffed. “So he’s just gonna... what? Come down to make sure I haven’t overdosed again, and jet off back to Seattle?”

“Is it really so hard for you to believe that your parents care about you?” Max asked. “That they want to know that you’re okay?”

“You’re gonna ask me that, after everything I’ve told you about them?”

“Okay. Let me rephrase.” Max leaned forward. “Is it possible that this is just one more thing you’re wrong about?”

Victoria opened her mouth to argue, but stopped short. Max took the opportunity to keep going.

“Look, they’re your parents. You might know them better than me,” she admitted. “But I’ve spoken to your father several times since you’ve been here. He may not really know how to show it, but he does care, Victoria.”

“... right.” Victoria sighed. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

* * *

**Jul 28th, 2019**

Her father did seem relieved. Victoria was willing to admit that, when she saw him.

When Max lead her into the room, the first thing Victoria saw was her mother. In an eyeblink, Mary had crossed the room and wrapped her in a bone-crushing hug.

Derek was not as spry. He stood, a pained expression on his face as he watched Victoria return her mother’s hug. “Sweetie,” he breathed as they separated. “It’s good to see you.”

“What?” Victoria retorted. “Alive?”

He winced.

“Okay, sit.” Max took her shoulder, squeezing tighter than she needed to as she guided Victoria towards one of the sofas. Mary and Derek sat in the other one, a coffee table between them. Max took a seat between them in an easy chair.

“Now.” She settled in, as she glanced at Victoria. “Would you like to go first?”

“Not really.”

The look Max gave her made it clear that it wasn’t the time for games. Victoria sighed, as she glanced at her feet. “... I’m sorry. For what I put you guys through.” She bit her lip. “And spending your money on coke. And the out-of-court settlements. And the lawyers. And... keeping me out of prison in general, I guess.”

Derek and Mary exchanged glances. “I never thought we’d hear you say anything like that,” her father commented quietly.

“Yea, well, nothing like almost dying of a heart attack to bring out the-”

“Victoria,” Max interrupted sharply. She took the hint and stopped talking.

Derek inhaled. “I know it might be hard for you to believe, Victoria... but seeing you like this...” he paused. “It means a lot.”

“What, apologetic?”

“Sober.”

Victoria was about to retort, but Max’s look caught her eye. She begrudgingly lowered her head. “... fair enough,” she muttered.

“I know you don’t think very much of us right now, Victoria, but-”

“That has nothing to do with the coke,” Victoria shot back. “I don’t even-”

“Victoria-”

“No, I’m talking now, Max.” Victoria sat back upright, folding her arms. “I don’t even know why you guys are here. Because given our history, I find it hard to believe that you both decided to all of the sudden be parents, or give a shit.”

Derek blinked, and Mary put a hand to her chest. “Victoria, of course we care about you!” she exclaimed. “Don’t you know that?”

“No. I don’t,” Victoria countered. “Between forcing me to leave my friends, go to a high school I hated, let me run around Europe by my fucking SELF, and then ship me off to UCLA as soon as you could, I have no idea what was actually going through your minds.”

“We were trying to do what was best for you!”

“By what? Never being around?” Victoria scoffed. “I saw you two for maybe three days, between my junior and senior year. I wasn’t even sure if you knew I went to Europe.”

Derek leaned forward. “We sent you with a guardian-”

“Yea, your ‘guardian’ was fucking worthless.” Victoria made sure to use air quotes. “He didn’t even notice when I was filling the suitcase lining with bottles of Percocet. And if he realized that I was getting drunk by myself every night, he didn’t fuckin’ show it.”

“You were- where did you get-”

“And then when I finally got kicked out of UCLA, you stuck me in Georgetown. As far away as you possibly could, while still keeping me on a leash.” She shook her head. “Did you even remember I was there? Because it took you four days to send a driver to fetch me.”

“Okay, Victoria, you made your point.” Max leaned forward, looking at Mary and Derek. Victoria’s mother looked aghast, as she stared at her daughter.

Derek just looked heartbroken, as he sighed heavily.

“I know we failed you.”

She was taken aback at the admission, stunned into silence. It was the first time Victoria had ever heard her father say that he was wrong.

“Trust me, Victoria, neither of us is under the impression we’ve been great parents.” He spared a look at Max. “Your counselor made it abundantly clear when we brought you here, that we had failed you miserably.”

Victoria glanced at Max. The brunette ignored her as she focused on Derek.

“I want to do better. WE want to do better.” Derek glanced at his wife. “But we don’t want you to go back to the drugs, either.”

“Yea. Well.” Victoria leaned back. “That makes two of us.”

“I heard. Max said you were doing very well here, and that you’ve made good progress.” He nodded towards the brunette. “She told us last week that you were ready to leave.”

Victoria looked at Max in surprise. “... I am?”

“You’ve said several times that you were done with the coke,” Max reminded her. “And you have been doing much better. You’ve also been here twice as long as most inpatients.”

“But Victoria, your mother and I are still worried about you.” Derek rubbed his hands together. “We don’t want you to backslide. So... we wanted to talk about how we were going to help.”

“You’re gonna help? I thought I was cut off.”

“And I told you that we wanted to do better.”

Victoria mulled over his words. “... help how?”

He cleared his throat. “Max has told us that there’s a program...” he hesitated before looking at the brunette. “I’m sorry, I don’t remember the name. Was it MA?”

“NA,” Max corrected. “Narcotics Anonymous. Like Alcoholics Anonymous, but specific to drugs.”

“Right. She says there’s a chapter in Georgetown that meets twice a week.” He nodded. “It’s only a few blocks from the condo. We all want you to go, when you move back.”

Victoria’s brow furrowed. “I thought you sold the condo.”

Derek looked just as confused as she did. The pieces clicked in her mind after a few seconds, and she turned to Max, who had a smirk on her face. “... I fucking knew you were bluffing.”

“Hey, it kept you here.”

“Um... anyway.” Derek shifted in his seat. “Narcotics Anon-”

“Fine. I’ll go.” Victoria sighed, waving her hand. “I’ll do the meetings. What else?”

A surprised look crossed Derek’s face.

“What?”

“Nothing. I’m just... we thought you’d put up a protest.”

Victoria shrugged. “I was serious, when I said I wanted to be done with the coke,” she muttered. “If it helps, I’ll do it. So? What else?”

“Well... we want to trust you, sweetie.” Derek paused. “But we thought that having someone be there for you would be-”

“Oh, God, you hired that fucking Sober Companion back.” Victoria slumped into the couch. “Christ, that guy was such an asshole.”

Derek shook his head. “We didn’t hire the last one, since he clearly didn’t work.” He glanced at the brunette between them. “We offered the job to Max.”

Victoria blinked several times, absorbing what he’d said. “... you hired Max? To be my live-in babysitter?”

“Sober Companion,” Max corrected her.

“I thought you liked this job.”

“I do. I also have student loans. And your father’s paying very well.” Max shrugged. “The director agreed to let me take a year-long sabbatical.”

“… like, a full year?”

Max nodded. “Well, ten months,” she corrected. “To help you with your first year.”

“Great.” Victoria blew air out her nose. “I was looking forward to you not busting my balls every day.”

“You could ask your dad to hire the other guy back inst-”

“No,” Victoria said quickly. “Definitely not.”

“Then get over it. Roomie.”

“Do NOT fucking call me that,” Victoria muttered. She turned back to her father. “Fine. What are the other conditions of my parole?”

Her parents exchanged glances. “We want you to enroll back in school,” Derek said after a few seconds.

“The online school again?”

“Yes.” He nodded. “But we want you to pay for it.”

“Huh?” Victoria blinked. “How am I supposed to...” she paused, the implication dawning on her. “... you want me to get a job.”

“We don’t think it’s unreasonable.”

“Doing what? I have, like, no skills.”

“There’s a restaurant four blocks away from the condo. They’ve agreed to hire you on as a waitress.” Derek looked at Max. “Your counselor was telling me last week, that waitressing helped her pay for-”

“Ugh.” Victoria closed her eyes tightly, pain evident in her voice. “Waitressing? Jesus, I’d rather go be a fucking stripper or something.”

Max snorted. “It’s not that bad, Victoria. Your parents are paying for the condo, utilities, and food; all you’ll have to pay for is tuition and books, which you can do easily. Especially for an online school.” She paused. “Besides, having a job gives you structure, which is important for someone in recovery.”

“Right.” Victoria dragged her hand down her face. “Idle hands do the devil’s work?”

“I wasn’t going to put it like that. But pretty much.”

“Great.” She looked back at her father. “Are there any other conditions to my release from purgatory?”

He shook his head. “We just...” he hesitated. “We love you, Victoria. We want you to get better.”

“... yea. Okay.” She bit her lip, as she weighed her next words carefully. “Can I ask for something that I don’t really deserve?”

“What?”

“Money for clothes. And a laptop.” She glanced at Max. “You can give it to Max, if you want. But I only have, like, five outfits. And if you guys want me to do online school...” she let the sentence hang.

Derek and Mary looked at each other and nodded. “We’ll give the money to Max,” he told her. “And we’ll make sure you get a laptop.”

“Thanks.” Victoria hesitated, feeling like she should say more. “I, uh... I promise I’ll do my best not to fuck it up.”


	13. Georgetown

**Aug 4th, 2019**

“Home sweet home.”

Max looked up at the building, as she drove her car around the block. “Wow. It looks pretty nice.”

“Of course it does. It’s Georgetown.” Victoria scoffed. “Have you never been here before?”

“My parents live in Kenmore. We didn’t have much of a reason to be in this neighborhood.” Max shrugged. “I think we drove through it once, but that’s about it.”

“Then welcome to the nicer part of Seattle.” Victoria pointed to the entrance of an underground garage. “Parking is through there.”

Max followed her directions, taking a free spot near an elevator. They got out, Max pulling her backpack and a rolling suitcase from the back seat. “Do you need help?”

“Maybe.” Victoria opened the trunk, retrieving her duffle bag. And scooping up the bags of clothing she’d purchased on the way up from Oregon. “No, I’m good.”

“Great.” Max closed the back door, locking the car as Victoria shut the trunk. “Which floor?” she asked as they walked into the elevator.

“Sixth.”

She dutifully pressed the button, and the car started climbing. As they rose, Max watched Victoria shuffle anxiously from foot to foot. “Are you okay?”

“... I kind of left the place in a bad way,” Victoria muttered. “I didn’t bother cleaning it much, before I had my... you know.”

“We can fix it,” Max assured her. “My apartment wasn’t very clean either.”

“Not like mine, it wasn’t.”

Max didn’t reply as the car stopped, and they got out. She led the way to the unit, inserting the key and unlocking the door.

A pristine condo greeted them. Max paused, glancing around. There wasn’t a speck of dust to be found on the tasteful furniture, and the floor looked like it had been professionally cleaned; she could still see the lines from a vacuum cleaner in the brown carpet. The kitchen was practically sparkling, the floor almost looking like it had been polished.

“Yea, a real hovel you left here,” she said dryly as they stepped inside.

Victoria entered behind her and glanced around, blinking in astonishment. “It didn’t look like this before.”

“I suspect your dad had the place fixed up for us.”

“I’ll say. This carpet isn’t even the same color. It was white two months ago; he must have replaced it. There was a dent in the wall over there, and...” she paused, noticing the television mounted to the wall. “... I pawned that TV.”

Max stepped closer and examined it. “Well, you’re not pawning this one.”

“I didn’t plan to.”

“I mean that you literally can’t.” Max tapped a metal label that was affixed to the side. “There’s a corporate asset tag on it. No pawn shop will touch it.”

“Yea, I suppose that’s fair.” Victoria looked around some more. “I don’t think it’s looked this good since I moved in after UCLA.”

“Well, that was nice of your father.” Max nodded towards one of the doors. “Is that the guest room?”

“Linen closet. Guest room is the door on the left, though there wasn’t any furniture when I last saw it.”

Max opened the door. A brand-new bed sat in the room, plastic still on the mattress. A sheet set and folded comforter sat on top of it, as well as two pillows. A dresser was against the other wall, on top of which sat some decorative knick-knacks and a mirror. “I think your father has this place confused with a hotel.”

Victoria snorted in amusement as Max left her bags and walked back into the living room. She noticed a brown box sitting on the kitchen counter and looked over the label. “Your laptop’s out here.”

“It is?”

“Yea.” Max tapped the box as Victoria walked out of her bedroom. “Looks like a decent one.”

“Looks like a mid-range computer from Best Buy,” Victoria muttered. “I miss my MacBook.”

“Mm.” Max checked her watch. “Okay, the NA meeting is in ninety minutes. So we can unpack a little bit, before we head over and-”

“How does this work?”

Max paused. “How does what work?”

“You. Me. Living in this condo.” Victoria turned and sat down on the couch. “You said you’ll be here until… when?”

“Next June. When you hit a full year of sobriety.”

“Wonderful,” Victoria muttered. “And what, exactly, did my father hire you to do for the next ten months?”

“Make sure that you stayed off the coke. Help you get your life back together. Be here in case you need me.” Max frowned. “Why do you not know how this works? You’ve had a Sober Companion before.”

“Yea, but I hated him. I made it a point to ditch him whenever I could. And for someone whose job it was to keep me sober, he was lousy at being able to tell when I was high.”

Max cocked her head. “Do you hate me?”

“I... will tolerate you,” Victoria allowed. “Mostly because I want to make a real effort this time.”

“Glad to hear it.” Max leaned against the counter. “Look, if you want a schedule, there isn’t one. I’m not your boss, and you don’t have to check in every few hours or anything. Just like rehab, we’re gonna take this one day at a time. Right now, we’re focusing on the NA meeting that’s being held at the church in...” she checked her watch. “Eighty-five minutes.”

“Right.” Victoria sighed. “This isn’t something where I have to speak just because it’s my first night, is it?”

“No. It’s a support group, not Fight Club.”

“Right now, that distinction’s a little fuzzy.”

* * *

The meeting wasn’t as bad as Victoria thought it would’ve been.

It only lasted for about an hour. She sat quietly next to Max, listening to a few people talk while she drank mediocre coffee. It reminded her a lot of the group sessions at the rehab center, though there were considerably more people; she put the number at forty or fifty.

“I didn’t think there’d be so many addicts in this part of town,” she mentioned to Max quietly, once the meeting was over. “I thought there’d only be a couple dozen.”

“Addicts come from all walks of life,” Max reminded her. “You grew up rich, remember? Drugs don’t recognize social classes.”

“Yea, I know. Georgetown just doesn’t seem like it would have this kind of problem.”

“It’s not a problem, Victoria,” Max admonished. “Everyone’s here to get better, just like you.”

“I know that, I wasn’t...” she hesitated. “Know what? I’m just gonna stop talking, before I make it worse.”

Max smirked. “Good idea. Come on, I want you to meet someone.”

She guided her towards an older man, standing near the front of the room. They waited a few moments for him to finish his conversation, before Max stepped forward. “Hey, Charlie.”

His face brightened. “Max! I thought that might’ve been you back there.” He shook her hand vigorously. “Nice to meet you in person.”

“You too.” Max gestured towards the blonde. “This is Victoria.”

“So it is.” Charlie smiled warmly, as he extended his hand. “It’s good to meet you, Victoria.”

She shook his hand warily. “Uh... you too. Who are you?”

“Charles Brown. I run these meetings. You can call me Charlie.”

“As in... Charlie Brown?”

He chuckled. “My mother was a huge fan of the comic strip,” he explained. “When she found out I was a boy, she saw an opportunity and seized it. I’ve heard most of the jokes, trust me.”

She let herself smirk, as she let go of his hand. “Well, uh... cool meeting, I guess.”

“Thank you. We try not to be too boring.” He nodded. “Max said you just escaped from rehab?”

“I don’t know if I’d call it an escape.”

“We’ll call it what it is. How long have you been sober?”

“Um...” she hesitated. “Shit. I keep forgetting to count.”

“It’s your sixty-third day,” Max reminded her.

“Ah ha.” Charlie reached into his pocket, digging around. He produced a handful of plastic tokens, sorting through them before selecting a yellow one to hand her. “This is for you, then.”

Victoria took it with a frown. “What is it?”

“It’s your sixty-day sobriety token.” He plucked a couple more from his fingers, handing her a red and silver chip as well. “Take these, too, you earned all three of them. We usually hand these out in front of everyone, but since you passed the milestone already, we’ll do it for your ninety-day chip.”

She examined the new chips. The silver one had the number one on it, while the red one was marked for thirty. “What are these for? Like, medals or something?”

“No.” Charlie shook his head. “They’re not a symbol of your commitment to the program; they represent the program’s commitment to you.”

“They show how far you’ve come,” Max added. “Think of them as milestones. You get a new one for each month in your first year, and then a yearly chip after that.”

“Mm.” Victoria looked at them again, then tucked them into her pocket. “... thanks, I guess.”

“You’re welcome. Now, your sponsor...” Charlie looked around. “I think she stepped outside. I’ll be right back.”

Victoria glanced at Max as Charlie walked away. “What is he talking about?”

“Huh?”

“My sponsor? I thought that was you.”

Max shook her head. “I’m your sober companion, Victoria. I don’t qualify to be a sponsor.”

“What? Why the hell not?”

“Because I’ve never been addicted to drugs.”

Victoria looked at her incredulously. “You have a degree in getting people clean. You’re probably more qualified than literally everybody here.”

“I don’t know what you’ve been through,” Max reminded her. “I’ll be here as your friend. But your sponsor can help you more than I can with cravings, and urges. She’ll know what it’s like to kick this kind of habit.”

“... okay.” Victoria exhaled. “That... doesn’t make a lot of sense. But whatever.”

Charlie reappeared a couple of minutes later, a younger woman in tow behind him. “Victoria, Stephanie here’s agreed to be your sponsor,” he informed her. “Stephanie, this is Victoria.”

The girl sighed, as she tucked a few strands of brown hair under her white beanie. “For the last time, Charlie, it’s Steph. Not Stephanie.” She smiled at Victoria. “Nice to meet you.”

“You too.” Victoria shook her hand. “So... now what?”

Steph shrugged. “Wanna do some drugs?”

Victoria did a double-take. “Uh… not really.”

“Good. Makes my job a lot easier.” Steph cracked a smirk. “How about a burger instead? I’m hungry.”


	14. Sponsor

Victoria couldn’t help but watch her new sponsor eat.

Steph went at the hamburger with a gusto she could only, in her mind, attribute to starving orphans. The woman practically inhaled her food, stopping only for the occasional sip of her soda. She’d never seen anything like it, and could only stare in fascination.

The brunette noticed her staring after a few minutes. “Sorry,” she said as she put the remains of the burger down. “I picked up bad table manners after a couple years of living in my car.”

“It’s fine.” Victoria leaned back, wishing that Max was with them; her counselor had elected to leave them alone, and go back to the condo. “So, I, uh… I don’t know how any of this works.”

“I figured. Charlie mentioned that you were fresh off the boat.” Steph produced a phone that had clearly seen better days. “What’s your number?”

“Why?”

“I’m gonna send you a text, so you have mine.”

“Oh.” Victoria retrieved her own phone, realizing that she could hardly judge Steph for hers. She had a battered iPhone 5, without a case, and the screen had a spiderweb crack in the corner. The two of them exchanged numbers quickly, sending confirmation texts.

“Cool. You can call me whenever you want, by the way. Day or night.” Steph put her phone away. “I know you have your sober buddy, but I’m always there, too.”

Victoria nodded. “Thanks.”

“No prob.” Steph took another sip of her drink. “So. What was your controlled substance of choice?”

_Wow, talk about being blunt._

“Cocaine,” Victoria admitted quietly. “And painkillers, sometimes.”

“Ah. I’ve heard coke is pretty nice.”

“Yea, until you overdose.”

“Heard that, too.” Steph nodded. “I’m a fan of the prescriptions meds myself. Uppers, mostly, with the occasional anti-anxiety pill to smooth out the rough edges. I tried meth once, but I didn’t like the feeling of snorting powder.”

Victoria cocked her head. “You’re just an open book, aren’t you?”

“Well, I can hide it, or own it. And hiding it cost me my job and my girlfriend.” Steph shrugged. “Did you get hooked at Blackwell, too?”

“At-” Victoria was taken aback. “How the hell did you know I went to Blackwell?”

“Because I know who you are, Victoria Chase. That’s one of the reasons I agreed to be your sponsor.” Steph smirked, as she popped a fry into her mouth. “We were both at Blackwell together.”

“No we weren’t. I knew everyone in my class.”

“I was three grades ahead of you. I’m pretty sure we never spoke. I kept in touch with people when I graduated, though.” Steph leaned back in her seat. “Frank Bowers sold me my first pill. What about you?”

Victoria hesitated, absorbing the new information, then nodded. “I bought a dime-bag off of him; I just wanted to try it. Next time I met him, I bought an eight-ball.”

Steph whistled. “Fell hard and fast,” she commented, taking another bite of her burger.

“Yea I did.” Victoria sighed. “How did you go from popping pills to here?”

“Mm.” Steph chewed and swallowed. “Well, it’s a really long story, so I’ll stick to the highlights. I picked up the pill habit in Blackwell to help study, and stayed with it through college; most of my spending money went to my dealer. Graduated with a degree in Stage Management, but there isn’t really any work for that in Oregon, so I came up here to Seattle and got a job with a big theatre company."

Victoria blinked. “Wow. Sounds like a great job.”

Steph scoffed. “It’s rough. I had to handle the stages themselves, including design and construction, and then costumes got kind-of rolled into my responsibilities. I was also doing some production work behind the scenes and maintaining everything. During performance season, sixteen-hour days were the norm.”

“Damn.”

“Right? I was just trying to keep up, so I stuck with the pills. Adderall, mostly, Dexedrine when I could get it, and Valium or Xanax to help mellow out.” She sighed. “I messed up a few times. Got loopy at work, made some pretty impressive mistakes. Someone ratted me out, and the boss forced me to do a drug test. Of course, it came back positive, and I was fired for cause.”

Victoria winced. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. My own fault.” Steph shrugged. “I was living with my girlfriend at the time, but money got short after I was let go. And I kept popping pills, mostly because I was scared to stop. I started doing some artwork, since I’ve always been pretty good at that, but reputation takes time to build up, so I wasn’t making much. Girlfriend eventually got sick of my shit and threw me out of her apartment. Which kicked off the afore-mentioned two-year period of me living in my car.”

“Wow.” Victoria looked her up and down. “You look better. How did you get clean?”

“Honestly? By accident.” She snickered. “There were three or four times when I only had enough money for food or pills, and I kept choosing the pills. The last time it happened, I was near the church, and I saw that there was a meeting of some kind going on inside. They had donuts, and I was starving, so I figured sneaking in and pretending to pay attention wouldn’t hurt.”

Victoria tilted her head. “An NA meeting?”

“Mother of all coincidences.” Steph nodded back towards the church. “Charlie’s been running that group for about a decade. Pretty sure he pegged that I was tweaking as soon as I walked inside. Him and a couple of the women cornered me afterwards, and spent a few hours convincing me that I could do better. Even volunteered to help me through the withdrawals.” She shuddered. “That was a bitch and a half.”

“Yea.” Victoria itched at her wrist. “I remember.”

“I’ve heard detoxing from coke’s rough. How long did it take?”

“Little more than a week. Didn’t leave bed for most of it.”

“Sounds about right. Anyway, that was a while ago. I got my three-year chip a few weeks ago. Been trying to focus on my artwork, doing online commissions and building a reputation. Finally got it to the point that I can afford rent on a studio apartment that’s a little bigger than a walk-in closet. And I can eat out every once in a while.” She picked up another fry. “So, what’s your story?”

Victoria sighed. “My parents are stupidly rich, and I’ve been spending their money on coke since I was in high school. I OD’d a couple of months ago, and they forced me into rehab. I just got released this morning. And they hired away my personal counselor to be my sober companion.” She paused. “Who, by the way, also went to Blackwell.”

“Really?” Steph leaned forward, her interest piqued. “What’s her name?”

“Max Caulfield.”

“Mm. Never heard of her.” Steph sat back. “Man, are there any other high schools in Oregon?”

Victoria snorted. “Apparently not. Anyway, now that I’m sober, they let me stay at one of their properties. On the condition that I do the NA thing, get a job, and go back to school.”

“Nice of them.”

“Yea, I know it is. I’m just not a huge fan of having a live-in babysitter.”

Steph arched an eyebrow. “Can you blame them?”

“I guess not.” Victoria picked up one of her forgotten fries, and considered leaving the rest of her meal untouched; she didn’t have much of an appetite.

_Doctor’s orders. Eat it._

She popped it in her mouth, chewing and swallowing. “So... other than having kicked an addiction, how exactly are you different from Max? The sober companion that my parents are paying through the nose for?”

“Well, for starters, nobody ever actually kicks their addiction.” Steph smirked. “I know you’re new to this. But there’s a reason we introduce ourselves as addicts before we speak. Having the mindset that you can be cured isn’t helpful.”

“Why not?”

“Just because we’re sober doesn’t mean that we don’t miss the drugs. I sure as fuck do.” Steph leaned on the table, crossing her arms. “Do you?”

Victoria chewed the inside of her cheek. “... a little. But, I mean... I don’t like who I was, when I was loaded.” She scratched her nose. “I did some pretty heinous shit to my best friends.”

“Me too. But there’s always a part of me that wants to call my old dealer and have him bring me a baggie of pills. Especially on days when I’m trying to fill commissions late at night. There’s a reason people work the program for the rest of their lives.”

“Wonderful.” Victoria dropped her gaze towards her plate, her appetite definitely gone. “I really, really don’t want to feel like this in a year.”

“I know. And I know how much it sucks.” Steph smiled. “That’s why I’m different from Max. I’ve been where you are, at the beginning, when I couldn’t fathom still feeling the desire to tweak for the next eleven-hundred and thirty-four days.”

Victoria shook her head. “Man, everyone knows their exact number, don’t they?”

“Every day is a victory, as Charlie’s fond of saying. Better to be an optimist than a pessimist.” Steph popped another fry into her mouth. “You should get a dry-erase board or something, to keep track of what day you’re on. And before you go to sleep each night, you erase the number and write down the new one.”

“Why?”

“It gives you something to strive for.” Steph nodded. “When it really, really sucks, you just think about getting through the day and updating that number. Helps you keep the ‘one day at a time’ mindset. Plus, it’s pretty satisfying to write down those milestone numbers.”

Victoria hummed. “I... guess that’s not a bad idea.”

“Well, I have some good ones every now and again.” Steph picked her burger back up and took a huge bite, chewing and swallowing. “What kind of job are you going to get?”

“Waitressing,” Victoria muttered. “At some Italian place down the road from our condo. I start my first training shift day after tomorrow.”

“You sound super-excited.”

“Really? I don’t feel like it.”

Steph chuckled. “Is it your first real job? I get the sense that your parents paid for most of your childhood.”

“Pretty close to it.” Victoria nodded. “And yea, it’s my first job. Not really sure what to expect.”

“I’ve done it before. It’s not too hard.” Steph pointed down at their feet through the table. “Wear comfy shoes. You’re gonna be doing a lot of walking.”

“Wonderful.”

* * *

“She eats like a maniac. Like a coyote devouring a carcass. And I think she has that mental condition, where you don’t have a filter between your brain and your mouth.”

Max smirked as she reclined on the couch, while Victoria paced back and forth in front her. “And other than that?”

“I don’t know. I guess it could be worse.” Victoria folded her arms and sighed, as she continued to walk in circles. “I still don’t understand why I need a second support person, or whatever.”

“Because I’ve never-”

“Yes, yes, you’ve been a goody-two-shoes your whole life.” Victoria waved her hand dismissively. “I remember.”

Max crossed her legs. “She seems nice. I don’t understand the problem.”

“I just...” Victoria stopped and looked at her. “Am I really so fucked up that I need two people to keep an eye on me?”

“You’re not fucked up, Victoria. There are two people looking after you because we care about you.”

“One of whom has known me for an hour.” Victoria nodded towards her. “And you’re getting paid.”

“Just because your father is paying me does not mean that I don’t care about your sobriety.” Max uncrossed her legs and leaned forward. “Do you really think I’m that shallow?”

Victoria bit her lip. “No.”

“Thank you. Now, your father told me that his environment and wealth leads him to be constantly suspicious of other people’s ulterior motives. Including those he might call friends. I’m guessing some of that rubbed off on you?”

“... maybe.”

“Then I want to make sure you understand this.” Max stood. “Sometimes people are willing to help you simply because you need it. Without expecting anything in return.”

Max could practically feel Victoria’s mental struggle with the concept of selflessness, before the blonde finally sighed. “Okay. Fine.”

“So, we don’t have a problem with your sponsor?”

“No.”

“Good.” Max nodded. “Did you guys at least have a productive conversation? Aside from her table manners.”

“Yea. She told me her story, and we exchanged numbers. She said I could call her if I ever needed her, and that we’d talk after the next NA meeting.” Victoria paused. “She, uh, also mentioned a thing, where people keep track of their sobriety days with a dry-erase board.”

“I’m familiar with the practice.” Max tilted her head. “Is it something you’re interested in?”

Victoria shrugged. “If it’ll help...”

“Well, it doesn’t hurt. And it’ll help you remember what day you’re on, if nothing else.” She nodded. “We’ll pick one up when we get groceries tomorrow.”


	15. Kenmore

**Aug 6th 2019**

**Days Sober: <strike> 65 </strike> 64 **

“You said sixty-three, two days ago.”

Max rolled her eyes. “That was your sixty-third day. Yesterday was your sixty-fourth day. But you won’t finish sixty-five days of sobriety until you go to sleep, which is why you update it when you go to bed.”

“It’s six PM,” Victoria objected. “Unless you’re worried that I’m gonna do a line of blow sometime in the next three hours, I think I’m safe.”

“I’m sure you won’t. But I want you to get in the habit of doing things right, not taking shortcuts.” Max turned back to the pot in front of her as she continued cooking, stirring the pasta sauce. “How was your first day at the restaurant?”

Victoria heaved a sigh behind her. “It sucked. I hated it. And if you make me go back, I can’t promise that I won’t burn it down.”

“Oh, come on. It couldn’t have been that bad.”

“I must have walked at least five miles between all the tables and the kitchen.” Victoria pulled up her right foot, taking off her sneaker and wiggling her toes. “Some old bitch send her food back twice because I, her waitress, apparently didn’t make it right. And I didn’t even get a cut of the tips because I’m still in training!”

Max smirked. “That’s a common practice. And you realize that you’re technically making more per hour than the other waitresses, right?”

“How do you figure?”

“You’re getting paid minimum wage,” Max explained. “The other waitresses are getting reduced wages because they get tips.”

“Huh.” Victoria dropped her foot back to the floor, then picked up the other one and pulled her left shoe off. “That’s the most depressing thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Welcome to the world of gainful employment.”

“How is that even legal? Don’t they HAVE to get paid minimum wage, at least?”

“No, they have to EARN minimum wage,” Max corrected. “They generally make above it with their cut of the tips. Which is how restaurants get away with paying them less.”

Victoria shook her head. “Don’t ever tell my dad I said this, but sometimes capitalism sucks.”

“Only when you’re on the short end of the stick.” Max looked at the other pot and checked the spaghetti. “You want to drain this really quick?”

“Sure.” Victoria stood and walked over, grabbing the pot and pouring it into the strainer in the sink. “That sauce smells really good, by the way.”

“Thank you. It’s my mother’s recipe.” She turned down the heat of the burner. “Figured you could use some decent food after your first day.”

Victoria set the pot on the counter next to Max. “I could use a foot massage. And a bottle of vodka.”

Max gave her a look. “In case you’ve forgotten, sobriety means you’re off all behavior-altering substances. Including alcohol.”

“Yea, I know.” Victoria turned around, leaning back against the counter. “Still wouldn’t mind some Grey Goose.”

“Not gonna happen.” Max lifted the pot, emptying it into the pasta. “Grab those tongs and serve yourself.”

Victoria did as she was told, while Max dropped the sauce pot in the sink and ran some water. She made her own bowl as Victoria sat down and took a bite. “Damn, Max. That’s not bad.”

“I’m sure the restaurant makes better.”

“Maybe, but this is a hell of a lot cheaper.”

Max hummed in agreement as she sat down. “Now, seriously. Was the job really that bad?”

Victoria sighed, as she stuck her fork back into the pasta and started spinning it. “No, I guess not.”

“You think you can stick with it?”

“Do I have a choice?”

Max smirked. “Technically, yes. But...”

“Right.” Victoria shook her head. “If you told me when I was a teenager, that I’d be waitressing at twenty-three, I would’ve laughed you out of the room. It’s still hard to wrap my head around.”

“Mm.” Max cocked her head. “What DID you think you’d be doing?”

“Traveling wherever I wanted, taking pictures, and becoming a world-famous photographer.” Victoria shrugged. “It wasn’t ever something I really worried about, when I was younger. With my family’s money, life was supposed to be pretty easy."

“You never considered that you wouldn’t have access to it?”

“Nope.” Victoria took another bite of her spaghetti. “How’s that for a sense of entitlement?”

A buzzing noise interrupted whatever Max was about to say in response. She retrieved her cell phone from her pocket and checked the screen, then put her fork down to start texting. “Sorry,” she muttered as she typed. “One sec.”

“Who is that?”

“My mom.” Max finished and put her phone down. “I’m visiting her and my dad for lunch tomorrow while you’re at work.”

“You are?”

“Well, I haven’t seen them for a few months. Since they’re only a half-hour down the I-5, I figured I’d be a good daughter and swing by.”

Victoria put a hand on her chest. “What if I have a sudden and desperate need to do a line of blow?” she asked dramatically. “How will I survive with my Sober Companion half an hour away?”

Max looked at her crossly. “If you’re really concerned, I guess I could call Steph,” she allowed. “I’m sure she wouldn’t mind hanging out at your-”

“No,” Victoria said immediately. “For the love of GOD, don’t tell that monster to get a table at the restaurant.”

“But now I’m really worried.” Max picked her phone back up. “I’ll pay for her lunch, too, so she can-”

“Jesus, I take it back.” Victoria slumped in her chair. “I don’t need my sponsor tearing through a plate of food like a hungry wolf in front of my new boss.”

Max snickered as she put her phone back. “You’ll be fine. I won’t be in Kenmore for more than a couple of hours, and you’ll be working the whole time. If I hadn’t said anything, you probably wouldn’t even have known I was gone.”

“I know. I was just trying to be funny.” Victoria had another forkful of the pasta. “You gonna tell your folks all about the fucked-up addict you’re keeping an eye on?”

“You really need to stop calling yourself fucked-up.” Max shook her head. “And no. I’m not.”

“Really?”

* * *

**Aug 7th, 2019**

**Days Sober: 65 **

“I’ve signed an NDA.” Max leaned back in her chair at her parent’s kitchen table. “Unless it’s necessary to my patient’s treatment, I’m not allowed to discuss it with anybody.”

Vanessa frowned. “I thought you only signed NDAs for your rehab center.”

“My patient’s family places a premium on privacy. And discretion.” Max shrugged. “Besides, for what they’re paying, I’ll sign whatever they want.”

“They’re paying that well?” Ryan asked.

“Enough that I won’t have any more student loans by the time I finish. Plus expenses, and I get to live in a pretty nice condo, so I don’t have to worry about rent and utilities either.”

He hummed. “I don’t suppose they’re hiring middle-aged lawyers?”

“Trust me on this one, they have more than enough legal representation.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” He took another bite of his sandwich. “You’re not in any danger, are you? From your patient?”

Max rolled her eyes. “No.”

“And you’re being safe? Not leaving valuables where they can get them?”

“What valuables? The most expensive thing I have is my phone. And my laptop, which isn’t worth pawning.”

“Okay, okay.” Her father sighed. “I’m just worried about you. And the work you do. I’ve heard stories of addicts that are dangerous.”

“I have, too. This patient is not one of them.” Max picked up a chip and ate it. “They’ve said several times that they don’t want to go back to the drugs.”

“Which drugs?” Vanessa asked. “Meth? Heroin? Cocaine? Prescription pills?”

Max raised an eyebrow. “You know what NDA stands for, right?”

“You can’t even tell us that? We’re just curious.”

“I’m not even giving you their gender, in case you haven’t realized it.” Max sighed. “They were brought to my rehab center after an overdose, which they barely survived. The patient’s father begged me to help his kid get clean. I obliged, and since the patient and I have a rapport, I was asked to take a sabbatical to focus on them exclusively here in Seattle. The family offered me enough money that I would have been an idiot not to take it.” She paused. “And... well, the patient’s had it rough. She needs the help.”

“She?”

Max cringed. “Dammit.”

Ryan snorted. “Relax. I think your mother and I both assumed that it was a girl.”

“Still.”

“We won’t tell anybody, we promise.”

“What did you do with your apartment?” her mother asked. “And all your stuff? Is it still in Oregon?”

Max nodded. “I packed a couple of bags with clothes, and put everything else in storage. The family’s paying for that, too.”

“And Megan?”

She winced, then sighed heavily. “... we broke up two months ago.”

“Really?” Vanessa looked astonished. “Why? You two seemed so good together.”

“I know,” Max muttered. “It was my fault. I just... I don’t know. I was focusing a lot on my job, helping patients, and we weren’t really seeing each other very often. Everything just kind of fell apart.”

“Ah.” Ryan nodded. “Max, I know you’re committed to what you’re doing. And you’re an incredible person for pouring your heart and soul into it. But having a personal life is important, too.”

“Yea, I know, I messed up.” She slouched in her seat. “Can we talk about anything else? Please?”

“Okay.” Her mother leaned forward. “When was the last time you saw your therapist?”

“… I changed my mind. Let’s talk about my love life some more.”

“Max.”

She sighed. “It’s been a while since I made an appointment.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to. Because I’m too busy at work. Because I REALLY don’t want to.”

Ryan raised an eyebrow. “When was your last nightmare?”

“Not recently.”

Her father pursed his lips and leaned forward onto his elbows, looking at her intently. Max immediately averted her eyes, avoiding his ‘dad stare’. “Cut it out. I hate it when you do that.”

“Are you being honest with us, Maxine Amelia Caulfield?”

She shot him a glare. “Don’t middle-name me. I’m an adult, in case you forgot. I can handle my own mental health.”

“Just because you’re an adult doesn’t mean that we don’t worry about you.”

“You don’t need to. I’m fine.”

“Are you?”

Max nodded tightly. “I haven’t had a nightmare about Chloe in months. I don’t even take my sleeping pills anymore. Or the SSRIs.”

“Do you still think about it?”

“Of course I still think about it.” Max paused. “But… it doesn’t affect me like it did when I was a teenager.”

“Max, that wasn’t that long ago,” her mother reminded her. “It’s only been five years.”

“Closer to six.”

“Nevertheless. We don’t want you to backslide.” She cocked her head. “Besides, don’t you tell your patients all the time, that nobody really gets over an addiction?”

“PTSD is not the same as an addiction.” Max folded her arms. “Look, I’m not saying that I’m over what happened. It just... doesn’t affect me as much as it did a few years ago. To the point where I don’t feel that I need to see someone about it once a week. Or take medication for it.”

Her parents exchanged glances, and Max was worried that they would press the issue. But her father nodded after a few seconds. “You’d say something if it ever did, right?” he asked. “Or talk to us, or another therapist?”

“I promise.”

“... okay, then.” He leaned back, and finally let a smirk play across his face. “Someday, kiddo, if you ever have children of your own, you’ll understand what it’s like to worry about them.”

“I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.”

* * *

**Kate:** How’s Victoria?

**Max:** Good. She started her job a few days ago.

**Kate:** What’s she doing?

**Max:** Waitressing at an Italian restaurant a few blocks away.

**Kate:** For real?

**Max:** Little surprised?

**Kate:** I figured she’d get an office job, like a secretary. Or something in front of a computer.

**Max:** It was considered. But waitressing is better for her, I think. Busier, more to do, less time to sit idle.

**Kate:** Keeping her mind off things?

**Max:** Exactly. Hard to think about coke when you’re juggling fourteen different tables.

**Kate:** Ah.

**Max:** Is something wrong?

**Kate:** No, of course not. Makes perfect sense to me.

**Kate:** … is it weird that I kind of want to go see her at work?

**Max:** What, like, get a table?

**Kate:** Kind of.

**Max: **Why?

**Kate:** Look, I really do forgive her for high school. And I want to help in any way I can.

**Kate:** But after everything she did? Knowing that she’s working one of those minimum-wage jobs she used to demean so much is a little… something.

**Max:** Satisfying?

**Kate:** Maybe. Am I a bad person?

**Max:** Nobody in their right mind is going to accuse you of being a bad person.

**Max:** And I have to admit, the look on her face when she found out was pretty priceless.


	16. Arcade

**Aug 14th 2019**

**Days sober: 73 **

“Twenty, forty, sixty... one, two, three, four, five, six. Sixty-six dollars.” The assistant manager laid the bills on the desk in front of her after counting them. “Don’t spend all your tip money in one place.”

Victoria scooped up the stack of bills, folding and sticking them in her pocket. “Thanks. What about my paycheck?”

“I already put your direct deposit info into the system. It should be there day after tomorrow.”

_Doesn’t matter, really. Max has my debit card._

One of her father’s other conditions was that Max was responsible for the money in the condo. Her sober companion had been given a corporate card to pay for expenses, and had received the card assigned to Victoria’s new checking account. Along with that, Victoria had agreed to only keep a small amount of cash in her wallet; anything more than fifty bucks went to Max, who deposited it for her.

_Don’t have much to spend it on anyway._

“And the schedule?”

“The GM didn’t have a problem with your request. Monday and Thursday nights aren’t really busy for us anyway.” Her boss nodded towards the hallway. “Next week’s is up, if you want to see it.”

“Appreciated.” Victoria walked out and checked the calendar on the wall, noting that as per her asking, she wasn’t scheduled for the nights that NA held their meetings. She snapped a photo with her phone before leaving the restaurant.

She sighed as she started the walk home. _I miss my Audi._

_And the MacBook. And the iPad. And my Louis Vuitton._ She looked at the purse on her shoulder, the nicest one she could find at Target. _The poverty line sucks._

_Probably shouldn’t gripe to Max. She’ll just remind me that it could be worse._

Victoria made her way home slowly, her mind wandering idly. She was about halfway there when she stopped, noticing that she was standing in front of a pub. The drinks inside were plainly visible as she looked through the glass windows, watching the woman behind the bar make a cocktail.

She could practically taste the familiar burn in her throat, as she felt herself pulled towards the doors.

“... fuck,” she muttered, pulling out her phone.

**Victoria:** How strict are the rules against booze, really?

She stared at the screen for a few seconds, and was just starting to put the phone back in her pocket before it rang, Steph’s name flashing across the screen.

“_Where are you?_” Steph asked as soon as she answered.

“Christ, Steph.” Victoria sighed. “I was being facetious.”

“_DO you want to drink?_”

“Of course I do.”

“_Where are you? At a bar?_”

“I’m walking home from work. It’s just a pub that’s on the way. I really don’t need you to-”

“_Victoria, a desire for booze is a small stepping stone away from the harder stuff. I’m assuming you sent me the text because you’re not with Max?_”

“Look, Steph, I just got off a ten-hour shift, and I’m really not in the mood for a lecture.” Victoria paused. “But no. She’s back at the condo.”

“_I didn’t say I was going to give you a lecture. How was your shift?_”

“Long. And tiring.” Victoria sighed. “But I made sixty-six bucks in cash tips.”

“_Let me ask you something; other than work and meetings, have you done anything fun since you left rehab?_”

Victoria snorted. “You call the meetings fun?”

“_You know what I mean._”

“No. I haven’t really had the cash.”

“_Well, it sounds like you do now. You wanna spend twenty bucks for an hour’s worth of fun?_”

She hesitated. Mostly because she wasn’t sure if she wanted to know what Steph’s idea of ‘fun’ actually was.

“... I should probably ask Max.”

“_Text her really quick. Tell her that your sponsor’s stealing you for a little bit._” She heard a rustling through the line. “_There’s only one pub in that neighborhood. Is it Irish Joe’s?_”

Victoria glanced up at the sign. “Yes.”

“_Wait there. And don’t go inside. I’ll be there in ten minutes._”

* * *

“Seriously?”

Steph looked at her as she parked the car. “What?”

“This is your plan?” Victoria scoffed as she looked at the building in front of them. “An arcade?”

“Yes.” Steph killed the ignition. “I come here when I’m tired of thinking about shit.”

“I don’t play video games.”

Steph nodded at her pocket. “So you have no games on your phone?”

“I mean, a couple, but-”

“Then you play video games.”

“Steph, I really don’t think this is necessary,” Victoria stressed. “It was an off-hand comment after a really long day at work. I didn’t actually mean it.”

Her sponsor sighed. “Let me ask you a question. When you were doing blow, did you drink?”

“Yea. Vodka. Grey Goose, usually.”

“WHY did you drink?”

“I...” Victoria paused. “I don’t know, why does anyone drink?”

“Was it because you liked the taste?”

“A little.”

“Were you drinking socially? With anyone?”

“Not usually.”

“Did you drink because you liked the way it made you feel?”

“Yes.”

Steph arched an eyebrow. Victoria caught on after a few seconds. “Oh, come on. I’m not an alcoholic. My problem was with coke, not booze.”

“More often than not, the two go hand-in-hand. And it’s just as easy to fall down one rabbit hole as it is another.” Steph folded her arms. “I understand that you made an off-hand comment. But you wouldn’t have made it if a part of you didn’t really want to go into that pub and start drinking.”

Victoria silently mulled over her words. “... maybe a little,” she muttered.

“Thought so.” Steph gestured towards the arcade. “Look, there’s worse ways of winding down after a hard day at work. Just try it. The games aren’t that hard, and I think you’ll enjoy it.”

“Fine.” Victoria sighed, as she opened her car door. “But I’m not spending more than an hour here.”

* * *

“Holy shit, you’re killing it.”

“Shut up.” Victoria focused on the screen in front of her, as she worked the joystick. The index finger on her other hand mercilessly pummeled the button, as she fired her spaceship’s lasers as fast as she could. “I’ve almost got it.”

Steph sipped from her fountain drink as she watched, impressed, while Victoria guided her ship through a volley of enemy laser fire while shooting at the bad guys. The icon danced around the screen almost effortlessly as she racked up kills and points. “I think you lied. You’ve definitely done this before.”

“Never. But it’s not like this is hard.” Victoria spun the joystick, dodging more enemy fire. “I just have to put the ship where the lasers aren’t. And keep shooting back.”

“And they just stacked bricks over and over, to build the pyramids. Most people have more trouble with this.”

“Maybe I’m just a natural.” Victoria continued to hammer the button as the enemy spaceship got redder and redder, finally exploding in a flash of pixelated glory. She stood upright with a sigh, rubbing the back of her neck. “Finally."

“Congratulations, Miss High Score.” Steph smirked as she took another drink. “Damn, by almost ten thousand points.”

“Yep.” Victoria entered the initials VMC. “I’ll have to find and apologize to SFG.”

“I accept your apology.”

Victoria glanced at her. “That’s you?”

“Steph Fuckin’ Gingrich.” She nodded. “Like I said, I come here a lot.”

“Oh.” Victoria stepped away from the game. “Okay, I guess this was pretty fun.”

“Good way to get your mind off things, too.”

Victoria glanced at her watch. “Shit, it’s late. Max is gonna have my ass.”

“Nah, I told her we’d be late six levels ago. Come on, let’s roll out.”

They made their way out of the arcade and got back into Steph’s car. “Can I ask you a question?” Victoria said as she buckled her seat belt.

“Sure.”

“How often do you still, you know, feel the desire to go get high?”

“Not as much as I used to. But it’s there.” Steph started the car and looked over her shoulder as she backed out of the spot. “Why?”

“You said you come here a lot.”

She smirked. “Not always because I miss the pills. Some days work really gets to me, or I’m behind on a payment for something, or I just want to clear my head.”

“Spending money here doesn’t seem healthy if you’re behind on a bill,” Victoria mentioned.

“I keep an emergency fiver in my glove box. Point is, this is a coping mechanism that works for me.” Steph glanced at her. “And you, clearly.”

“This is a little out of my way to be convenient.”

“Well, maybe you should mention that to Max. I’m sure she’d be okay helping you find a nice, time-consuming and mindless activity to clear your head.”

* * *

“I’m not buying a video game console.”

Victoria frowned. “Why not?”

Max folded her arms. “Take a guess.”

“Oh, come- I’m not going to pawn it,” Victoria said, exasperated. “Christ, you really don’t have any faith in me, do you?”

“I’m sorry, do you think that’s not fair?”

“Max-”

“Faith, like trust, is earned,” she interrupted. “Over the past six years, you’ve been sober for seventy-three days. You’ve been making great progress, and everyone is proud of you, but you do NOT have anyone’s trust yet. There’s a reason the credit card your father gave us has my name on it, not yours.”

Victoria leaned back in her seat, her eyes dropping towards her lap. “... yea, okay,” she muttered.

Max sighed. “Look, there are other ways to unwind that don’t involve easily-pawnable electronics.”

“Like what?”

The brunette stood and made her way to the cabinet under the TV. She opened it and produced a cardboard box, bringing it over and setting it down on the coffee table.

“You have got to be kidding me.”

“It’s scientifically proven to reduce stress, lower your blood pressure, and relax before-”

“A fucking puzzle?! Seriously?!” Victoria looked at her incredulously. “Do I look like a ninety-year-old retiree to you? Are we in a nursing home? Am I a retarded child or something?”

“Victoria!”

She opened her mouth to argue further, but she couldn’t make any words come out. She stood up and walked off, towards the window, stopping in front of it and folding her arms.

Max walked over and stood next to her after a few seconds. “What is it?”

“Nothing.”

“I know it’s not nothing.”

“I... fuck.” Victoria inhaled slowly. “I hate this shit.”

“What shit?”

“Every time I... God damn it.”

“Come on.”

She bit her lip as she thought about how to vocalize what she felt. “Every time I turn around, there’s just another thing in my way reminding me how far I’ve fallen,” she muttered. “Can’t have any nice stuff, because everyone’s worried that I’ll pawn it. Can’t make a joke about wanting to get drunk, because my sponsor will swoop in to save the day. Can’t even have control over my own debit card, because I could cash out my checking account to go get loaded.”

Max laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. “This isn’t permanent,” she reminded her. “The longer you stay sober, and the more you work the NA program, the more trust you earn.”

“Yea, I get how it works.” Victoria rubbed her eye, trying to stop moisture from collecting in the corner. “It just feels like I had to bust my ass, to make it this far. I’ve got a million things reminding me how far I still have to go, and it seems like the finish line keeps moving further and further away.”

“Do you still have your chips with you?”

Victoria nodded as she pulled them from her pocket. She’d used a kitchen knife to poke holes in them, and threaded all of them through a key ring, so they clinked together as she held them in her fingers.

“What do they say on the back?”

“... one day at a time.”

Max smiled. “I know it seems like a lot. You will get there. But thinking too far in the future isn’t going to make this any easier.”

“So I’ve heard,” Victoria remarked dryly, as she put her chips away. “That motto’s a little annoying.”

“Mm.” Max squeezed her shoulder once, then let go. “I did get you something else.”

“What?”

Max went back to the cupboard and reached into the back, producing a small bag. She deposited it into Victoria’s hands. “Happy Birthday.”

“It’s...” Victoria paused, then checked her phone. “Shit. It is my birthday.”

“You forgot?”

“I, uh, haven’t really celebrated it for the last few years.”

Max frowned. “Really?”

“Well, between having a shit relationship with my parents and no friends, I didn’t bother making a lot of plans.”

“Ah.” Max winced. “Well... tell me if you like it or not.”

Victoria reached into the bag and produced a square made of grey plastic, almost like a dice. But each side had a different device; one had buttons, another had dials and switches, a third had a joystick-looking contraption... “What is this?”

“It’s a fidget cube.”

“A fidget cube? What’s that?”

“It gives you something to do with your hands, when you want a distraction. Try it out.”

Victoria frowned, but started to play with it. One side had a circle with a nub that she found spun rather easily, and she worked it with her thumb for several seconds. At the same time, she used her other finger to flip a switch back and forth rapidly.

“Okay, this is kind of cool.” Victoria smirked as she glanced back at Max. “... thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Max nodded at the couch. “Come on, let’s sit down. You can play with it while we try the puzzle; I think you’ll find it’s just as good of a time-waster as video games.”

“Fine.” Victoria sighed. “You’re gonna help, right?”

“It’s a thousand-piece puzzle. Of course I will.”

* * *

Max wasn’t wrong. Victoria became immersed quickly. Neither of them spoke after she dumped the puzzle out and they started organizing it; Victoria started working on the edge pieces, while Max tried putting together a couple of different segments on their own. As she worked, she occasionally looked over the puzzle mess and picked up the cube while thinking; she found herself liking the feeling of flipping the switch as rapidly as possible, the clicking almost soothing her.

After a while, Max looked at her watch. “It’s eleven o’clock,” she mentioned. “You have to be at the restaurant in ten hours.”

“Oh.” Victoria straightened up. “Huh. I guess this is a good way to kill time.”

“Told you.”

Victoria nodded as she stood, making her way towards her bedroom. She stopped at the dry-erase board on the wall and wiped away the number three, then uncapped the marker and drew a four after the seven.

_I can do this._

_Now I just gotta make it to seventy-five._


	17. Early Day

**Aug 29th 2019**

**Days sober: 88**

“Mother fucker! Fucking mother fucker!”

Victoria winced as she stood in the kitchen of the restaurant, watching the head chef swear as he tinkered with the underside of the stovetop. Two other waitresses stood next to her, all of them silently observing and listening to the banging noises. On the other side of the room, six other members of the kitchen staff kept their distance as the chef became increasingly aggravated.

A fourth waitress walked in behind them and stopped. “My table is wondering where their chicken parmesan and fettuccini alfredo is,” she mentioned quietly over the cursing.

“Join the club,” Victoria whispered. “We’re having technical difficulties.”

The manager came in a few seconds later, stepping past them. “Angelo, what’s going on in here? And why are customers complaining about long wait times for food?”

“I’m fucking working on it!!” the chef snapped, not looking at anyone. “There’s something wrong with the goddamn gas line. All the burners are out.”

“Then fix it!”

“What the FUCK do you think I’m trying to- OW!!” He jerked back out from under the stove, shaking his hand. Victoria could see the blood seeping from his finger. “Fucking cocksucker!!”

“And stop swearing! They can hear you in the dining room!”

Angelo sighed heavily as he pulled a towel from his apron, wrapping it around his hand. “I don’t know, boss. There’s gas, I know there is. But it’s not making it to the burners. I think there’s something wrong with the hose.”

“It was working this morning!”

“I don’t know what to tell you. It’s not working now.”

“Can we replace it?”

“Not really. It’s caulked into the wall, and we don’t have a spare anyway. We gotta call the maintenance guys.”

“So let’s call them.”

“I already did.” Angelo shook his head. “That’s why I’ve been messing with it. All their people are out. Closest one is an hour away, in the middle of a job. Soonest he could be here is three.”

“Son of a...” the manager looked at the clock on the wall; it was just after noon. “We’re in the middle of our lunch rush! How are we supposed to cook food without gas?”

Angelo shrugged. “We can’t. I can make salads, and we’ve got a fridge full of desert, but that’s about it.”

“... dammit.” The manager pinched the bridge of his nose. “This is not very convenient.”

“Hey, I don’t like it any more that you do.”

Victoria cleared her throat. “What do we do?” she asked. “I’ve got four tables with hot food on order.”

The other waitresses made noises of agreement as the manager glanced at them, heaving a sigh of defeat. “Tell that that we’ve had a problem with our stovetop, and we’re not going to be able to accommodate them,” he muttered. “If they start complaining, give them a discount ticket for their next visit and comp their drinks. But unless they want a salad or a desert, the kitchen is closed.”

* * *

Victoria’s tables took it better than she would’ve thought. But nobody really wanted to have just salads and desert for lunch. Twenty minutes after word started to spread, the restaurant was devoid of customers.

Ten minutes later, the manager came up to the tables where the waitresses had sat down, most of them using their cell phones. “Who here is scheduled to work after four?”

Two of them, not including Victoria, raised their hands.

“Okay. You two stay, in case anyone actually decides to dine in.” He looked at the others. “I’ll bump up the last hour to meet minimum wage. But there’s no point in you being here if there’s no customers, so I’m gonna let you all go.”

A collective moan rang through the group at the lost hours. “I know, I know,” the manager sighed. “We’ll try to make up for it over the weekend. But you’re all off the clock as of three minutes ago. Grab your stuff and head home.”

Victoria grumbled with the rest of them, but she didn’t really mind the early day. She retrieved her purse and hung up her apron, then left out the front of the restaurant, walking towards the condo. _Max said she had some errands to run, so she’ll probably be gone when I get back,_ she figured. _Guess I can put in some more work on that puzzle or something. Long as I don’t work it too much. Pretty sure she won’t appreciate it if I finish without her._

_Then again, it’s not like there aren’t two others in the cabinet._ She smirked as she came to an intersection, waiting for the light to turn green. _Eh, it’s not even half done. I don’t think I’ll be able to finish before she gets home, even if I wanted to._

The light changed and she crossed the street, making a point to not look at the pub as she passed it. She was about to round the corner for the condo when she heard the voice behind her.

“Girl, I thought that was you.”

_... no fucking way._

She spun and saw Marcus standing there. Hands in the pockets of his fucking Seahawks hoodie, smirking like he knew something she didn’t.

Her emotions bubbled over. A feeling of intense anger filled her as her face flushed. “You mother FUCKER!” she yelled as she swung her purse by the strap as hard as she could.

Marcus ducked under his arm, the purse impacting his bicep. “Ow! The fuck?!”

“You almost KILLED me, you fucking ASSHOLE!!” Victoria swung her purse again, hitting his shoulder. “FUCK you!!”

“The hell you talking ‘bout, snowflake?! I didn’t do nothin’!”

“You sold me bad shit, you cocksucker!” Victoria swung at him again, but he dodged it. “I had a fucking heart attack!!”

“You... ah, shit.” He grimaced as he maintained a safe distance. “You got part of that bad batch.”

“Bad batch?! Are you FUCKING kidding me?!”

“Hey, it ain’t my fault!” He held up his hands defensively. “My fuckin’ supplier sold me bad shit! I didn’t have a damn clue!”

“I almost died, you fucking prick!!”

“Well, you look better.” He glanced her up and down. “You want another hit? I ain’t seen you in months, you gotta be ready for a line by now.”

Victoria glared as intently as she could. “Screw you.”

“Hey, if you’re that desperate.”

“I don’t want a goddamn hit. Fuck off before I start yelling for the cops.”

“Fuck you mean, you don’t want nothin’? You fuckin’ cleaning up on me now?"

Her face flushed deeper, and she didn’t respond as she maintained her glare. He blinked after a couple of seconds. “Really? The fuckin’ snowflake wants off the candy express?”

“Fuck you,” she snapped. “Go hit up someone else.”

“You one of my favorite customers, white girl.”

“Not anymore.” She turned and resumed walking.

“What?” Marcus called after her. “You think you can just hop off the train? Nobody kicks this shit, snowflake.”

“Piss off!”

“HEY!!”

Victoria turned to yell at him again and saw a bag flying towards her. She caught it instinctively against her chest.

“Consider that an apology,” he told her. “Call me when you remember how good my dope is.”

With that, he turned and stalked off. She watched him duck into an alley and vanish.

Then she glanced down at the baggie poking from between her fingers. And the white powder it contained.

A familiar buzzing started to fill her head, as she looked at the bag. A buzzing that she hadn’t felt in weeks. It felt like the whole world slowed down around her, the sound slowly fading away as she maintained a laser-like focus on the white powder.

_An eight ball. _

_… holy shit._

She tore her eyes away after a few seconds and looked up, realizing that she was still standing on the sidewalk.

_I’m holding illegal drugs in public._

She shoved the hand holding the baggie into her pocket, as deep as she could.

_Need to get off the street._

_Need to go home._

She turned and speed-walked the rest of the way, finally shoving through the door of her building with her free hand. Her heart was practically beating through her chest as she got in the elevator and hit the button for her floor.

The doors closed, and the elevator started to ascend with her alone in the car. She took the opportunity to pull the baggie out of her pocket and get a better look at it. Her heart rate increased even further as she rubbed her thumb over the plastic, feeling the powder inside.

Thinking about how it would feel.

The euphoria. The power. The sense of happiness.

It was hard to remember the last time she’d felt that level of satisfaction.

The elevator dinged. Too early. She shoved her hand back into her pocket as the doors opened, revealing a young woman in workout clothes. A purple yoga mat was tucked under her arm, and she looked confused. “Going down?”

“Up,” Victoria breathed, her heart in her throat.

“Oh. Sorry.”

The doors closed again. Victoria squeezed the baggie in her pocket as the buzzing in her head got louder, drowning out the rest of the world.

_Get out and throw it down the garbage chute. _

_You shouldn’t have it._

_You promised._

_Just throw it away. _

_Just get rid of it._

The doors opened on her floor. She turned towards her apartment. Away from the garbage chute.

Victoria felt numb, as she slid her key into the lock and pushed inside the condo, closing the door behind her. Her purse fell off her shoulder as she removed the baggie from her pocket, but she made no move to retrieve it.

It almost felt like she was walking through someone else’s eyes. Like it was a movie, playing in her mind, as she put the baggie on the kitchen counter. The buzzing in her head was almost unbearable now. It was a familiar feeling. Like she’d been too long without her medication. All she could focus on was the baggie. Like it was physically pulling her towards it.

_I don’t have to do this._

_I don’t need it._

_I’m stronger than the drugs._

_I can get by without it._

_... what’s the harm in one hit?_

_No._

_Stop._

_I can do it and then get better again._

_But I don’t want to._

_But I could._

_But I shouldn’t._

_My head hurts. _

_I can make it go away._

_One line won’t kill me._

_Nobody else is here._

_I don’t have to tell anyone._

She didn’t even realize what she was doing. She blinked, and the cocaine had been dumped out on a cutting board. Someone else’s hand picked up a kitchen knife, because she didn’t have any more razors in the condo, and started working some of the powder into a line.

It was hard. The hand holding the knife wouldn’t stop shaking.

_I can’t do this._

_I shouldn’t do this._

_But I’ve been so good._

_I deserve it._

_I can do a little bit._

_Then I can go back to the program._

_It’ll be fine._

_It won’t set me back too much._

_I don’t have to tell Max._

_Or Steph._

_What they don’t know won’t hurt them._

There wasn’t anything to snort with. She didn’t have any cash to roll up. But she remembered that Max had brought home McDonalds the day before. Victoria watched her hands dig into the trash can and come up with a plastic drinking straw. She even used the knife to cut it in half, to make it easier to handle.

Straw in hand, she turned back to the cutting board. And the jagged line of cocaine. She was hyperventilating; she wasn’t sure whether it was out of fear or excitement.

_Just one little line._

_Nobody has to know._


	18. Someplace Else

_Should’ve done two trips._

_… ouch._

Max winced as she shifted the plastic bags in her hand while she rode the elevator. She was quickly coming to regret buying bottles of shampoo, conditioner, and soap in one visit to Target. And then making a trip to the grocery store. The heavy plastic bags felt like they were digging grooves into her fingers.

_I should’ve gotten some of those reusable bags, with soft handles. That would’ve been smart. Or I can do the life-hack thing, where you keep a carabiner in your car. Probably way less painful to hold one of those._

She rolled her shoulders as the elevator opened, and she walked towards the condo. Then grunted in pain again, as she shifted all the bags to one hand while retrieving the key from her pocket to open the door.

The key didn’t budge as she tried to turn it. The door was already unlocked.

_Huh._ Max furrowed her brow in confusion._ I could’ve sworn I locked it behind me when I left._

She pushed the door open and paused, frowning. Victoria’s purse was laying haphazardly on the floor in front of her.

_Is she home? I thought her shift didn’t end until four?_

“Victoria?”

Silence answered her as she looked around; the blonde wasn’t visible. _Where is she?_ Max wondered, as she dropped the plastic bags on the love seat._ Did she go back out and leave her stuff behind? And why is there trash all over the kitchen floor?_

“Victoria?” she called again. “Are you home?”

Still nothing. She was about to pull out her phone and call her when she heard the sniffling from the bathroom. “... Max?” Victoria asked, in the most broken voice she’d ever heard. “Is that you?”

“Victoria?” Max walked over and tried the knob; it was locked. “What’s wrong? Are you alright?”

“Please...” Victoria’s voice cracked, and she heard the blonde sniffle again. “Please get rid of it.”

“Get rid of what?”

“On the counter.”

Max looked at the kitchen, finally noticing the cutting board. And the white powder, next to an empty bag and a straw.

_Oh._

_Oh, SHIT._

She didn’t say anything as she scrambled towards it, inspecting the cocaine closely; for all her education, and her experience at the rehab center, she had never actually seen it before. Max tried to estimate how much was left, versus how much had been in the bag.

_Is that all of it? Son of a bitch, like I’d know. How much was in here? A gram? An eighth?_ Max looked at the straw, but couldn’t tell if it had been used._ Did she snort any of it?_

_Not important._

She turned the board over, the white powder spilling into the sink. Then she turned on the faucet and ran water over it, using her free hand to grab the bottle of dish soap and squeeze as much of it as possible over the plastic. It quickly foamed up, and she used the dishrag to frantically wipe it clean.

_The baggie._

Max grabbed it and filled it full of water from the faucet, dropping it down the drain. The straw followed. Then she reached out and hit the switch for the garbage disposal. The rotors chewed through everything as she drained the water from the sink, using the rag to wipe up the excess.

She dropped it in the trash when she was finished, then made her way back to the bathroom and grabbed the knob. “It’s gone, Victoria. Let me in.”

The lock clicked after a few seconds, and Max pushed her way into the bathroom. Victoria was sitting on the floor, against the wall, hugging her knees into her chest as she shook like a leaf. Her left forearm was covered in bloody marks, and Max watched her scratch at it with her right hand, the nails digging into her skin. The blonde refused to look at her.

Max dropped to her knees and lifted Victoria’s head. The blonde offered no resistance as Max used a thumb to pull back on her eyebrow. _Pupils aren’t dilated. And her nose looks fine._

Victoria sniffled, and Max watched a tear slide down her cheek. From the looks of the runny mascara, it wasn’t her first. “I didn’t do it,” she muttered weakly.

“I know. I know you didn’t.” Max sighed in relief, as she sat back on her heels. Victoria started scratching at her arm again, and Max grabbed it, pulling her hand away. “Come on, up.”

Victoria let Max pull her onto the toilet and set her arm on the sink. The brunette retrieved some hydrogen peroxide and gauze from the medicine cabinet, then set about wiping Victoria’s bloody wounds. The blonde didn’t even wince from the pain as Max cleaned her scratches, then covered the marks in ointment before wrapping the arm.

Max exhaled slowly as she finished, her heart rate finally getting back to normal as she sat on the rim of the tub. After a couple of seconds, she reached over and took Victoria’s hand in hers. “Are you all right?”

“I...” Victoria sniffed deeply, wiping her nose on her other wrist. “I’m sorry, Max.”

“It’s okay. Just breath.” Max squeezed. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

Victoria took a slow breath. “I saw Marcus when I was walking home.”

“Who’s Marcus?”

“My old dealer.” Victoria dropped her gaze. “The one who sold me the coke that almost killed me.”

Max nodded as Victoria quietly explained what had happened, up to the point where she’d been about to snort the line of cocaine. “It didn’t even feel like it was me doing it,” she muttered. “It was like I was someplace else, watching it happen.”

“So... then what?”

Victoria’s lips trembled, and she swallowed heavily. “I got a look at the board on the wall,” she said wetly. “I saw how close I was, to the ninety-day chip, and I remembered how Kate told me that she wanted to be there when Charlie gave it to me, and...” her voice trailed off.

“You stopped,” Max stated.

“I didn’t want to.” Victoria snorted back mucus, wiping her nose again as she looked at Max. “I’ve never wanted something so bad in my whole life.”

Her voice cracked, and she squeezed her eyes shut as she started to collapse. Max caught her, and Victoria’s head landed softly on her shoulder. She watched the blonde’s back shake as she was wracked with sobs.

* * *

“Is it really gonna to be like this from now on?”

She’d finished crying a few minutes prior, but Victoria hadn’t moved, still leaning her head against Max’s shoulder.

“What do you mean?” Max asked.

“Feeling like this.” Victoria slowly pushed herself back upright, her eyes going back to her lap. “Losing my mind at the sight of an eight-ball. You and Steph keep telling me that addicts never get over it, but I don’t want to still crave coke in my thirties. Or forties. Or when I’m playing bocce ball in a retirement home.”

“No.” Max took her hand again. “It’s gonna get easier, with time and effort.”

“Doesn’t feel like.” Victoria rubbed her eyes again. “Fuck. I can’t believe I did that.”

“Hey.” Max squeezed. “Victoria, what you did was amazing.”

“What do you mean, amazing? I almost threw eighty-eight days of sobriety down the shitter.”

“But you DIDN’T,” Max emphasized. “I can only imagine how hard that must have been. Not everybody could have done what you just did. It was incredible, and I am so proud of you for holding yourself back.”

Victoria sniffed. “I don’t feel very incredible.”

“Well, you should.” Max squeezed her hand again, then stood, opening the cabinet and retrieving a package of wet-wipes. “Let’s get your face cleaned up. You look like a War Boy from Mad Max.”

The blonde didn’t react to the joke as she took the offered wipe, rubbing her face clean of the mascara. Max helped get the residue that she missed, then offered a hand.

Victoria didn’t take it, as she looked into the condo. “... it’s gone?”

“Right down the sink. All of it.”

She nodded weakly as she took Max’s hand and stood, letting the brunette lead her into the living room. Victoria didn’t look at the kitchen as she sat down on the couch, slumping over and dropping her head onto a pillow.

“What do you want for dinner?”

“I’m not really hungry.”

Max sighed. “If I put a sandwich in front of you, will you at least try to eat it?”

Victoria shrugged. The promised sandwich appeared in front of her a few minutes later, next to a can of soda. Neither of which she looked at.

“How about some TV?”

“Mm.”

Victoria didn’t look at the television, either, when Max changed it to a news station. She tuned it out, lost to her own thoughts as she wallowed in her self-loathing.

After a while, she did start to feel hungry. And she could feel Max watching her nervously. So she sat upright and picked up the sandwich, eating slowly as she drank the soda.

By the time she was finished, she could see the darkening sky outside. “I’m going to sleep,” she muttered, pushing her plate aside and standing.

She was opening her bedroom door when Max spoke up. “Hey.”

“What?”

“You forgot something.”

Victoria glanced back at Max, who was looking pointedly at the dry-erase board. She sighed and wiped it carelessly, writing down the number 89.

“Night.”


	19. Ninety Days

**Aug 30th, 2019**

**Days sober: 89**

Her alarm was supposed to go off at seven-thirty. But it didn’t. She awoke the next morning, blinking against the sun shining through her window.

_That’s... way too bright._

A glance at her alarm clock revealed why. There were no numbers on the display. Likely due to the power cord having been pulled from the wall and coiled on her nightstand.

She was about to call for Max when she heard voices on the other side of her door. Multiple people, talking quietly. And light laughter.

_The hell?_

Victoria sat up and put her feet on the floor, sliding them into her slippers. She didn’t change from her pajamas before she opened the bedroom door.

“She’s awake!”

“The fu...” Victoria blinked at the scene before her. “Steph?”

Her sponsor smiled and waved from the kitchen table, next to Max. Across from them, Kate turned in her seat, also smiling. “Good morning!” she said cheerfully.

“Kate?” Victoria looked at all of them. “What are you guys doing here?”

“Eating.” Steph lifted a paper bag and shook it. “Breakfast burrito?”

“What time is it?”

“Little after nine.” Max gestured towards the empty chair in front of her. “Sit down. You must be hungry.”

Victoria frowned and folded her arms, looking at Max. “... did you seriously call in the cavalry to help get me over-”

“All I told them is that you had a really rough day yesterday,” Max interrupted. “None of us had any plans today, so we thought we’d hang out for a little while. Steph brought breakfast, and Kate is gonna show us her books.”

“Her books?”

Kate reached into the bag at her feet, pulling out several pieces of paper that were stapled together. “I finished a few first drafts for some new books,” she explained. “I already showed them to Hector, but he’s not very good a critiquing my work. I figured you guys could help me.”

“I’m supposed to be at the restaurant in an hour.”

“I called you in sick.” Max pointed to the chair. “Sit.”

Victoria’s face twisted, but she resigned herself to her fate after a few minutes. She dragged herself over to the chair and sat, accepting the bag as she sat next to Kate. Who was definitely well into in her fifth month of pregnancy. “Wow, you’re really starting to show.”

Kate raised an eyebrow. “Did you just call me fat?”

“No, I- that wasn’t-” Victoria hesitated. “Nothing. I don’t know how to make this better.”

Steph and Max both snickered as Kate smirked. “Relax, I’m kidding. Eat your burrito.”

“Thanks.” Victoria took her food from the bag. “So... what are these books about? More heavy social stuff like bullying?”

Kate nodded as she put the papers down in front of her. “Yes. The first one’s at the publisher, and it’ll start appearing in stores by Christmas. I still owe them at least two others, though.”

Steph cocked her head. “You owe them two books?”

“Part of the contract I signed,” she explained. “I promised a run of three books in exchange for some advanced pay. I’ve got four rough drafts with me.”

“Cool.” Steph leaned forward. “What social issues did you pick?”

“Well, like Victoria said, the first one was bullying. Then I’ve got with me divorce, death of a parent, and low self-esteem.”

“Wow,” Victoria remarked. “You weren’t kidding. That stuff is heavy.” She frowned. “Didn’t you say there were four? What was the other one?”

She’d never seen someone look so uncomfortable, as Kate squirmed in her seat. “Um... well, I kind of...”

Victoria put the pieces together in her mind. “Drugs?”

Kate bit her lip and nodded. “I got the idea to do one on addiction after we started talking,” she admitted. “I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t have brought it, but-”

“Can I read it?”

She blinked in surprise. “... really?”

Victoria shrugged. “Why not? I’m curious to see what a children’s book about drugs looks like.”

“Are you sure?”

“Why, is there a druggie in the book look like me or something?”

Kate shook her head. “They’re anthropomorphic animals. They don’t look like anybody.”

“Well, I’m sure the behavior is the same.” Victoria shrugged. “Come on, let me see what a furry drug addict looks like.”

Kate complied, handing out the rough drafts of her work. The others began reading them, though their focus was split. Max and Steph would occasionally ask a question, or make a comment, but they also kept an eye on Victoria.

The blonde read her book silently, flipping the pages without making any audible remarks. After about twenty minutes, she finally reached the end and lowered the papers.

“So?” Kate asked anxiously. “What do you think?”

Victoria looked at her. “Can I offer some constructive criticism?”

Kate nodded.

“Missy the rabbit has WAY too much stuff in her house to be a real addict.” She flipped back a few pages. “She’s got all these extra appliances on her kitchen counter, and there’s a TV on the wall behind her. If she’s as bad as she’s supposed to be, all that would be long gone. Or at the very least, replaced by cheap crap.”

“Really?”

“Why do you think all the stuff in here is brand new?” Victoria waved around the condo. “I pawned everything that wasn’t nailed down. And a few things that were. Also, why are there no drugs in here anywhere?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, it’s clear that she’s on something, but everything you wrote in here is vague. I have no idea what she’s doing. There’s no pill bottles, no needles, no bongs, nothing.”

Kate squirmed. “I mean, I didn’t want to draw a book full of drugs. It’s for kids.”

“Isn’t that exactly why you should?” Victoria countered. “So at the very least, if they see a crack pipe or something in someone else’s house, they know to stay away from it?”

“... hmm. That’s a good point.”

“I mean, you don’t have to do an encyclopedia of drugs. Just the ones that could be dangerous to kids.” Victoria nodded. “So they know that a baggie full of white powder isn’t candy or something. And not to touch dirty needles or meth pipes.”

Kate winced. “I... don’t know what those look like.”

“Yea, but you have access to Google, right?”

Max and Steph both snorted in amusement as Kate smirked. “Yes, I have access to Google.”

“Then I’m sure you’ll figure it out.” Victoria slid the papers back. “I thought it was cool. I liked how the other parents got together to help get Missy help, in the end.”

“Well, I wanted to send the message that just because you’re doing something bad doesn’t mean that you’re not worth anything,” Kate explained. “I don’t want kids to think it’s okay to just abandon people who need help.”

Victoria nodded. “It’s really good,” she agreed quietly. “I think your publisher will like it.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

* * *

They spent the next couple of hours talking about Kate’s books. Then Steph broke out a card game she’d brought with her. One that was definitely inappropriate.

“I don’t know what this word is,” Kate objected, at the new card she’d drawn. “And honestly, with everything else you guys are playing, I’m a little hesitant to Google it.”

“Let me see.” Victoria looked over and winced. “Oof.”

“What? What is it?”

“Just draw a new card.”

“Okay, but what is it?”

Victoria shook her head. “Kate, just... know that you really are the best person at this table.”

Steph grinned. “Is it Smegma? Tell me it’s Smegma.”

“Yes.” Kate showed the card to her and Max. “What IS it?”

“Ask your fiancé,” Max told her. “Please, for the love of God, don’t make us do this.”

Kate huffed, but put the card back and drew a new one. Her face promptly drained of color. “I’m not playing this one either. Steph, where did you GET these?”

“Excuse me.” She put her hand on her chest, looking hurt. “It’s one of the most popular card games in America.”

“Why, because it’s full of toilet humor and incredibly offensive?”

“Yea, pretty much.” Steph plucked a new black card and laid it on the table. “Jesus is... blank.”

“Oh, God.” Kate had a very pained look on her face, as she shuffled through her hand. “I don’t have anything that won’t get me sent to hell. Can I sit this one out?”

“Maybe we can switch to something a little less offensive,” Victoria agreed. “Not that this isn’t a fun game, but...”

“Fine, okay.” Steph plucked a white card from her fingers and discreetly showed it to Max. “That would’ve been my answer, by the way.”

Max took one look and her eyes widened. “Dude.”

“What? Too much?”

“You would’ve gotten an EXPRESS ticket to hell.” Max shook her head. “And possibly sent Kate into early labor.”

Steph smirked as she started collecting all the cards. “Well, I didn’t bring any other games with me. What do you guys want to do now?”

“How about we order some lunch?” Max suggested. “There’s a good pizza place a couple miles from here.”

“Um...” Victoria looked at the others. “I appreciate it, but you guys don’t have to hang around here all day just because of me. You can go home or do whatever.”

Steph shrugged. “I’m good.”

“Really, yesterday wasn’t-”

“It’s fine, Victoria,” Kate assured her. “Besides, I don’t want to have to drive all the way home just to return in a couple of hours.”

Victoria tilted her head. “Why would you come back in a couple of hours?”

“For your meeting.” Kate glanced at the others. “Max and Steph said you were getting your next chip tonight, and that it’s a really big deal. I want to be here.”

“You’re... wait, what do you... I’m not getting my...” Victoria sputtered, before looking at Max. “Huh?”

Steph shook her head. “We weren’t gonna tell her,” she told Kate. “It was supposed to be a surprise."

“Oops.”

“But I’m not at ninety days until tomorrow,” Victoria protested. “I thought I wasn’t going to get the chip until next Monday.”

Max shrugged. “I called Charlie and asked him to do it tonight instead.”

“Why?”

“Because you deserve it.”

Victoria bit her lip, dropping her gaze to her lap. “... I don’t think I do.”

“Well, I think you’re wrong,” Max informed her. “And in this circumstance, my opinion weighs more than yours. Besides, today is technically your ninetieth day.”

“You’re not even in NA. Steph is my sponsor.” Victoria glanced at her. “Shouldn’t this be your call? Not Max’s?”

Steph inhaled slowly. “Look, Victoria, I don’t know what happened yesterday. Max didn’t tell me, and it’s fine if you don’t want to, either.” She paused. “But Max said you handled yourself a million times better than nine out of ten addicts would’ve. And that you were a badass. That’s good enough for me.”

Victoria sighed. “... I really wasn’t.”

“Well, like Max said, her opinion weighs more than yours.”

* * *

“Every day is a victory. Especially in the beginning.”

Victoria sat silently between Steph and Kate, in front of Max at the meeting. She knew what Charlie was leading into and braced herself; she still didn’t feel like going in front of everyone.

“That’s one of the reasons people get so many chips in their first year of the program,” Charlie continued. “Those of us who’ve been here for a while remember the struggle for those first twelve months. I can definitely speak from experience, that there were a few times that I felt like backsliding. Which is why it’s so important to recognize those milestones.” He paused. “Especially when you can’t comprehend what it’ll take to make it to the next one.”

Charlie finally looked at Victoria and smiled. “Whether you got clean willingly or not, ninety days of sobriety is no small feat. And it’s definitely one worth recognizing.” He held up a green chip, the number 90 embossed on the front. “Congratulations, Victoria.”

The whole room started clapping as she stood, practically dragging herself to the front of the room to accept the coin from Charlie. Though it did feel nice to finally hold it in her hand.

“I don’t have to make a speech or anything, do I?” she asked quietly.

“It’s customary,” Charlie answered over the clapping. “But if you really don’t want to...”

She sighed, looking over the rest of the room as the noise died down. And squirmed under everyone’s expectant look.

_... fuck it. Hide it or own it._

“I, uh...” She cleared her throat and averted her eyes; she didn’t feel like looking at anyone. “I almost threw this away yesterday.”

Nobody spoke as she fidgeted with the chip and kept going. “I saw my old dealer. The one who sold me the coke I OD’d on. I guess I got a bad batch, so... he gave me a free eight-ball.” She scoffed. “His way of apologizing. And he said that nobody kicks this habit, and to call him when I remembered how much I liked it.”

She took a second to glance up. Max and Steph were watching intently, her sponsor not looking very surprised. _I wonder if Max actually did tell her,_ she thought idly. _Or maybe she figured it out on her own. She’s not stupid._

Kate, on the other hand, had wide eyes and a horrified look on her face. Victoria tried to ignore it as she kept going. “I don’t really remember... it’s kind of fuzzy,” she admitted. “Next thing I knew, I was back in my condo, lining it up with a kitchen knife. All I could think was how bad I wanted it. And that I deserved it, because I was doing so good, and nobody needed to know about it.”

She swallowed. “I don’t know how I stopped. I think I maybe just saw how close to the next chip I was.” She shook her head. “I didn’t even get rid of it. I locked myself in the bathroom like a coward and left it for my friend to clean up when she got home. So... yea,” she sighed. “Sorry I’m not very inspirational.”

When she stepped off the stage, she tried to keep the look of surprise from her face as people started applauding again. _Why the fuck are they clapping?_

Charlie took his place back at the podium, as she sat down. “The strength it takes to stay committed to sobriety is daunting,” he stated. “The strength it takes to stay sober when the drugs are right in front of you isn’t something most people have within themselves. Especially when they’re just starting on their journey.” He smiled at her again. “You’re more inspirational than you think.”

Victoria bit her lip and didn’t reply, as she clutched her new chip in her fist. Kate’s hand found her forearm, squeezing reassuringly; Steph mirrored her after a few second, as she felt Max’s hand on her shoulder.


	20. Birthday

**Sep 21st, 2019**

**Days Sober: 111 **

“_I can’t believe it’s been twenty-four years!!_”

Max sighed, as her mother wailed dramatically on the other end of the phone. “Sure has, Mom.”

“_It’s moving too fast! My baby girl can’t be twenty-four! I’m too young to have a child that old!_”

“No, you’re not.”

“_I swear, you were just born yesterday after eleven hours of labor!_”

“Grandma told me that it was nine.”

Vanessa fell silent for a second. “_... to be fair, she wasn’t the one they were cramming painkillers into._”

Max smirked as she relaxed, her feet thrown up on the arm of the couch as she lay across it in her sweatpants. “So, are we done with the dramatics?”

“_I suppose I am. Your father will probably have some when he gets back from the store._”

“Why didn’t you wait for him before you called?”

“_Because I was bored. And I was the one who carried you for nine months, and put so much effort into pushing you out that I shit the bed, so I get to decide when to make the phone call._”

“You sh...” Max paused. “No you didn’t.”

“_We still have the birthing video, if you’d like to see it._”

“If I EVER accept that offer, bring me to a neurologist and have me checked for brain damage.”

Her mother laughed heartily. “_Hey, kiddo, it happens to the best of us._”

“I’ll take your word for it. Thanks for the slippers, by the way.”

“_Oh, they did get there in time. Do you like them?_”

“I’m wearing them right now.” Max looked at her feet, clad in new slippers made of white suede. “Softest ones I’ve ever worn.”

“_I know. Your father got me a pair for my birthday, and I haven’t stopped wearing them._”

“Well, I appreciate it. And the gift card, too.”

“_You’re welcome, sweetie. So, any plans for your big day?_”

Max shrugged. “Not really. I’m just relaxing in the condo.”

“_Where’s your..._” her mother paused. “_You know, it feels weird to call her a patient when you live with her._”

“Yea, I know. And she’s at work until this afternoon.”

“_What do you do when she’s not there?_”

Max shrugged again. “Watch TV, mostly. Read books, play on my phone, that sort of thing. I’m meeting a friend for lunch in an hour or so.”

“_That doesn’t feel like a very productive use of your time._”

“Hey, I’m still getting paid.”

“_I suppose I can’t argue with that,_” Vanessa agreed. “_Still, there’s nothing you’d rather be doing?_”

Max bit her lip, taking a few seconds to answer.

“_Max?_”

“I... have been thinking about going back to school.”

“_Really?_”

“JUST thinking,” Max said quickly. “But I’m getting paid pretty well. I’ve put a pretty good dent in my student loans, my car is almost completely paid off, and since I have almost no expenses, I’ve been saving most of what’s left. So the idea of getting a Master’s is a little… appealing, I guess.”

“_Ooh, that would be a good idea,_” her mother agreed. “_With what major?_”

“No idea yet. Like I said, I’m still thinking about it. And I don’t think I’d start until after this gig is done anyway.”

“_Well, I suppose it would take that long to save for it,_” Vanessa acknowledged. “_There must be something else you can do while your... okay, what do you call her, if she’s not your patient?_”

Max hummed. “What about client?”

“_I don’t know, sweetie. That makes it sound like she pays for you by the hour._”

“Gee, thanks, Mom.”

“_Just being honest. Anyway, there must be something you can do while she’s at work._ _Have you considered getting back into the dating scene?_”

“Oh, God.” Max closed her eyes as she pinched the bridge of her nose. “Not really, no.”

“_Why not? There are plenty of cute girls around Seattle._”

“I don’t have time to date any of them, Mom. Part of my job is always being on call, which makes taking a girl out to dinner a little difficult.”

“_Take her to lunch, then._”

“I’m supposed to be focusing on...” Max paused. “Know what? Let’s just call her my roommate. One of the reasons I’m being paid so well is so that she has my full attention, not so I can run around different bars every night to meet women.”

“_Sweetie, your roommate’s family can’t seriously expect you to completely ditch your social life._”

“Mom, if you saw the size of the checks, you’d quit the Ladies Night you go to for good.”

“_No check is that big, sweetie._”

“You say that without having seen it.”

“_Nevertheless._” Her mother sighed. “_You know, you could try one of those dating apps. Your father and I were just watching a news segment about them._”

Max scoffed. “One of my friends tried that for a while. Her inbox got flooded with dick pics in less than a week.”

“_They make apps specific to lesbians, sweetie._”

“... they do?”

“_Max, why is your mother in her early forties explaining how a dating app works to the twenty-four-year-old?_”

“You’re in your early FIFTIES, Mom.”

“_Not according to my fake ID._”

“You don’t have a...” Max paused and shook her head. “Never mind.”

“_Look, sweetie, why don’t you give it a try?_” Her mother asked. “_You don’t lose anything by talking to some of these women. Maybe you’ll find someone._”

Max scrunched her nose. “... I’ll think about it.”

“_Well, you should..._” Vanessa paused, and there was an increase in background noise. “_Oh, your father’s home._”

“_Her fa- are you talking to Max?!_” she heard her father ask incredulously.

“_Yes._”

“_Without me?!_”

“_You took too long._”

“_It’s been twenty minutes!!_”

“_You were the one who decided that we needed ice cream. Do you want to talk to your daughter or not?_”

“_Of course I do! Gimme!_” Max heard the rustling of the phone changing hands. “_Max?_”

“Hey, Dad.”

“_Hang on._” He cleared his throat. “_I CAN’T BELIEVE MY BABY GIRL’S ALL GROWN UP TODAY!!_”

“I’m twenty-four! I was grown up years ago!”

“_HOW DID I LET YOU GET SO OLD?!_”

“You guys know that this doesn’t get any cuter as the years go on, right?”

“_HOW IS IT POSSIBLE THAT SO MUCH TIME HAS PASSED SINCE YOUR MOTHER WENT THROUGH FIFTEEN HOURS OF LABOR??_”

Max snorted in amusement. “Wow, you guys REALLY need to sit down and get that story straight.”

* * *

“Sure, I’ve tried them.”

“Really?"

Steph frowned. “Why do you sound surprised?”

“I don’t know,” Max admitted. “I guess you just didn’t seem like the kind of person who’d use a dating app.”

“Hey, I want a relationship too,” Steph informed her. “I date when I can. I haven’t for a few months, but I put myself out there.”

“With an app?”

“Yea. Actually, I just started using Girl Time again.”

“What the hell’s that?”

“It’s like Ok Cupid for lesbians.” Steph shrugged. “I’ve tried a few others, like Soirée and FindHer. Girl Time is just the one I use now.”

Max tilted her head. “What, do you rotate or something?”

“More or less. New women sign up all the time, so I float around to whichever app I haven’t used for a while.” Steph shrugged. “You gonna give it a try?”

“... maybe I should.” Max leaned back into her seat at the diner, where her and Steph were finishing their lunch. “It’s been a while since I actually tried dating.”

“What about your ex? How did you guys meet?”

“A mutual friend set us up. I met her for the first time at a restaurant.”

“Ah. Blind date. Something of a gamble these days.”

“I know. I almost didn’t go through with it, but my friend threatened to kick my ass if I didn’t.”

Steph chuckled as she sipped from her soda. “Well, when you use the app, you can look over a person’s bio before deciding whether or not you want to try and talk to them. See if there are any red flags. Or filter out the kind of women you don’t want to see.”

“Mm. That does sound appealing.” Max pursed her lips. “... hell. Maybe I will go for it. Download the app, at least. But I don’t know if dating while I’m supposed to be looking after Victoria is a good idea.”

Steph rolled her eyes. “She’s an adult, Max. You don’t have to hold her hand around the clock. I’m sure that she would be fine if you left her for a few hours every once in a while.”

“I guess that’s true.” Max sighed, then slowly pulled out her phone. “Sounds like I’m out of excuses.”

“Hey, you never know,” Steph reminded her. “Maybe you’ll find a nice girl who’s into yoga, cooks like a five-star chef, and can tie a cherry stem into a knot with her tongue.”

Max snorted. “I’ll settle for someone who can put up with me.”

“Jeez, talk about a low bar.”

“Not according to Victoria.”

Steph snickered as the waitress approached with their check. “Thank you both so much for coming,” she said sweetly.

“Of course. We... dude, put your wallet away.”

Max frowned as Steph pulled out a few bills. “Why?”

“It’s your birthday, man. And I didn’t get you anything. Lunch is on me.”

* * *

Max was playing on her phone when Victoria came back from work.

She looked up as the blonde came through the door. “Hey,” she greeted her absently. “How was work?”

“Uneventful.” Victoria sighed as she kicked her shoes off. “I got a fifty-dollar tip from a dude in a nice suit. Though he wrote his phone number on the bill.”

Max snorted. “Classy.”

“Right? Who the hell does that anymore?” Victoria rolled her eyes. “He probably thinks that Mad Men is a documentary.”

“Never saw the show.”

“Seriously? You should.”

“I’ll add it to my list.”

Victoria smirked as she walked into her bedroom. She came back out a few minutes later, with a small cardboard box in her hands.

Max frowned as she walked in front of her. “What’s that?”

“It’s… for you.” Victoria held it out. “Happy Birthday.”

“How’d you know it was my birthday?”

“It’s on Facebook.”

“Oh. Right.” Max took the box sheepishly. “... thank you.”

“I hope you like it,” Victoria mentioned nervously, as Max started opening the box. “I wasn’t really sure what to get, so...”

Max got the cardboard open, then stopped, blinking at what was inside. “... wow.”

“Yea. I, uh, realized a few days ago that I hadn’t seen you with your old one.”

“That’s because it broke years ago. I never bothered to get it fixed.” Max pulled out an old black-and-grey Polaroid camera, turning it over in her hands as she admired it. Her fingers ran over the plastic surfaces comfortingly; it was the exact same model as the one she’d used back at Blackwell. “I haven’t seen one of these in years. Where did you find it?”

“At that thrift shop on Eighth.” Victoria squirmed. “I only found one pack of film, though.”

Max saw it in the bottom of the box, and she picked that up as well.

“Do you... like it?”

“I love it.” Max smiled as she loaded the cartridge. “Thank you, Victoria. I really appreciate it.”

Victoria grinned, seemingly relieved. “So... you gonna start taking pictures again?”

Max hummed as she closed the latch and loaded the first photo. Then, before Victoria could do anything, she lifted the camera and snapped a photo of her.

“Hey!” Victoria objected, covering her face way too late as the camera spit out the paper. “Not of me!”

“Why not?”

“Because I just spent seven hours on my feet, and I look like shit!”

Max rolled her eyes as she shook the photo. “Calm down. You look fine.”

“You could’ve at least let me run a comb through my hair,” Victoria grumbled. “I’m ripping that picture in half.”

“No way.” Max held it to her chest. “You’re not messing with the first picture I take on my new camera.”

Victoria’s face twisted, then she sighed in defeat. “... fine,” she muttered, as she made her way over to the couch and took a seat beside Max. “At least let me see it.”

Max held the picture out, and the two of them watched it slowly develop. It took a few minutes for the picture to come into focus, showing Victoria at the moment her surprise took hold, complete with wide eyes.

“Wow. You’re right, you do look like crap.”

“Oh, shut up.” Victoria elbowed her. “... I guess it’s not too bad.”

“Nope. I’m gonna hang it on the fridge.”

“You do, and it’ll be missing in the morning.”

Max was still snickering as her phone sounded an alert, a catchy triple-tone that she’d never heard before. The two of them blinked at the interruption. “... what the hell was that?” Victoria asked.

“I don’t know.” Max frowned as she turned the phone over, and the screen popped to life.

**<** **Girl Time** **> There are new users in your area! Click to see their profiles!**

“... Girl Time?” Victoria glanced back at her. “Really?”

Max hurriedly swiped the notification away, her face reddening. “It’s nothing.”

Victoria stared at her, blinking. “Isn’t that a dating app?”

“It’s...” Max paused, then sighed after a few seconds. “... Steph kind-of bullied me into giving it a try.”

“To meet... girls?”

“I mean, yea, that’s kind of the point.” Max glanced back at her phone. “I don’t think I like it, though. I’ve been messing around with it for a couple of hours, and all the messages I’ve gotten are from bots. I think it wants me to buy the premium membership.”

“Ah.” Victoria leaned back in her seat. “... seems shady.”

Max frowned. “Is something wrong?”

“No.” Victoria shook her head. “I just... didn’t expect that from you.”

“Yea, I know. Me either.” Max turned back to her phone. “My mom suggested to try an app this morning, and then Steph started talking about them over lunch. After this one, though, I don’t know if I care for it. Especially if they’re pushing unsolicited notifications without telling me.”

Victoria nodded. “Right.”

“Anyway.” Max shoved her phone into her pocket, then went back to admiring the camera. “Thank you, Victoria. Really.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Okay, I’m gonna put this in my room.” Max stood. “How about pizza for dinner?”

“Sounds good to me.”

* * *

Victoria watched Max walk into her room, before sitting back into the couch. A look of surprise still on her face.

_Max likes girls._

_... huh._


	21. Tempest

**Oct 2nd, 2019**

**Days Sober: 122 **

_“I can tell everyone Nathan Prescott is a punk ass who begs like a little girl and talks to himself.”_

She knew what was coming.

_“You don’t know who the fuck I am, or who the fuck you’re messing around with!”_

The script might as well have been tattooed on her forehead.

_“Where’d you get that? What are you doing? Come on, put that thing down!”_

She wanted to do something.

_“Don’t EVER tell me what to do! I’m so SICK of people trying to control me!!”_

But she couldn’t.

_“You are going to get in hella more trouble for this than drugs-”_

Please, Chloe, just walk away...

_“No one would even MISS your punk ass, would they?!”_

Run, Chloe, PLEASE!!

_“Get that gun away from me, psycho!!”_

NO!!

**BANG!!**

* * *

“CHLOE!!”

Max jerked with her scream, her entire body spazzing as she woke up from her nightmare. She sat upright, gasping for air as she closed her eyes and tried to will the dream away. And rubbed her eyes to stop the tears from flowing.

It was the time of year she hated most of all. For eleven and a half months, Max was fine, but for the two weeks around October seventh...

Max took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as she tried to lower her heart rate. _In five days, it’ll be six years since she died._

_I still need to arrange the flowers for Joyce._

There was a knocking at her bedroom door. “Max?” Victoria called. “Are you okay?”

_Oh, right. I don’t live alone anymore._

“I’m fine,” Max replied weakly.

“Are you decent?”

“Yea.”

Victoria opened the door, and spent a few seconds watching Max breath heavily. “... you don’t look fine.”

Max sighed. “I know.”

“Why did you yell out Chloe’s name?”

“I had a nightmare,” Max muttered. “I have them sometimes. Usually around this time of year.”

Victoria glanced at the alarm clock, which showed the date. “Shit. I didn’t realize it was coming up.”

“Sneaks up on you.” Max shook her head as she looked at the clock; it was a little after seven in the morning. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up. You should get back to sleep.”

“It’s close enough to the alarm.” Victoria nodded towards the kitchen. “You want coffee?”

“Please.”

Victoria closed the door as she left.

Max followed her a few minutes later, after splashing water on her face and brushing her teeth. Victoria was seated at the kitchen table, next to her laptop and two cups of coffee. She pushed Max’s towards her as the brunette sat down.

“Thanks,” Max muttered as she took a sip.

“Sure.” Victoria still looked concerned. “You sure you’re okay? You yelled pretty loud.”

Max shrugged. “Better than I was, back then. My parents got me into a lot of therapy after the shooting.” She bit her lip. “I was diagnosed with PTSD.”

“Shit.” Victoria leaned back. “I forgot, you were in the bathroom when it happened, weren’t you?”

She nodded.

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too.” Max took another sip from her mug. “It’s... better now. This time of year just sucks.”

Victoria shook her head. “I feel bad,” she admitted. “I don’t even think about her anymore. Whenever I think about the shooting, it just feels like the event that made me start to spiral.” She looked at Max. “Not to, you know, make it all about me or anything.”

Max smirked. “Well, from what I’ve heard, you’re not wrong.”

“Yea.” Victoria sighed, sipping from her coffee mug with both hands before continuing. “In my defense, I didn’t like Chloe very much.”

“You... actually knew her?” Max cocked her head. “I didn’t know that.”

“Her and Rachel Amber were attached at the hip,” Victoria reminded her. “It was impossible to know one without the other. And I was definitely familiar with Rachel. Didn’t like her very much, either.”

“Right, I forgot that the three of you were all there at the same time.” Max put her mug down. “Why didn’t you like Chloe? Or Rachel?”

“Oh, boy.” Victoria leaned back in her seat. “Well, that goes back to my first year at Blackwell, and a school play called the Tempest.”

“The Tempest? As in, the play by Shakespeare?”

“Yea, that one. Rachel had the lead role as Prospera, but she lost it after she cut class with Chloe. And since I was her understudy, I had the chance to perform in front of everybody, and show what I was capable of.” Victoria shook her head. “But that was before a certain punk was so desperate to please her new friend that she dosed my tea.”

Max raised both eyebrows. “Chloe… drugged you? For real?”

“Collapsed thirty minutes before I was supposed to go on-stage. Didn’t wake up until after the play was over.”

“How in the world did she get away with that?”

“Everyone thought that I fainted. Nobody bothered to bring me to a hospital; they just carried me into a dressing room to let me sleep it off.” Victoria bit her lip. “And… I didn’t really raise too much of a stink about it.”

“Why not? I would’ve.”

“Because I was planning on doing the same thing to Rachel, if she hadn’t lost the part.”

“... you were?”

Victoria nodded. “I had a few crushed-up pills ready to go,” she admitted. “I was gonna offer her a drink, as part of some bullshit Greek understudy custom.”

“That’s assault, Victoria. Shit, you could’ve killed her, and that would’ve been manslaughter.”

“I know that now.” Victoria paused. “Honestly, it felt like that whole incident was just a part of a chess game Rachel and I were playing. Like we were competing against each other at everything. She won that round, and I just figured it was easier to move on to the next level.”

“What the hell was so important about that play?”

“Well... I was still new-ish to Blackwell. Taylor was really my only friend; I hadn’t even met Courtney yet. I was still trying to establish myself, and I thought getting the lead in a play was a great way to be admired by the entirety of Blackwell. And I guess in my fucked-up mind…” Victoria shrugged. “I was alright with drugging Rachel to do it.”

Max leaned back in her seat. “Man. Everybody left Blackwell fucked-up, didn’t they?”

Victoria sighed heavily. “If we were lucky to leave at all.”

* * *

“Man, I remember that play.”

Max blinked. “You do?”

“Fuck yea, I do.” Steph nodded as she leaned onto the table between them, during another one of their lunches. “I was running the technical stuff backstage with the teacher, Mister Keaton. That whole thing was a shitshow.”

“How bad was it?”

“Dude, everything was going wrong that night.” Steph smirked as she inhaled another fry. “Did you know Chloe was in that play?”

“What?” Max looked at her incredulously. “How did that happen?”

“You knew Juliet Watson, right?” Steph watched Max nod. “She was supposed to play the part of Ariel, but there was a huge wildfire, and she got stuck in traffic. Chloe was literally the only person there who could’ve done it, because everyone else was busy. She got five minutes to look at the script before she went on stage.”

Max snickered, picking up her own fry and taking a bite. “How bad did she do?”

“Not very, all things considered. A few flubbed lines and missed markers, but nothing the audience would’ve noticed. Certainly not once Rachel started ad-libbing, basically asking Chloe to run away with her in Shakespearean language.”

“Really?”

“Like I said, a shitshow.” Steph grinned. “And I do remember Victoria fainting in the grass and pissing herself.”

Max raised an eyebrow. “She neglected to mention that last part.”

“What a shock.”

“Wait a minute.” Max frowned. “I thought Victoria didn’t know who you were before she saw you at NA. How were you both working on the play without her realizing it?”

“Why, she was an ACTRESS, my dear.” Steph adopted an English accent and waved her arm, laying the back of her hand on her forehead in feigned drama. “Our fair Lady Victoria of House Chase did not deign the stage crew worthy of her attention, so long as she was properly lit.” She dropped the accent and sat back upright. “Besides, she was still kind-of new to the school, and already had the reputation of being a stuck-up bitch. I didn’t go out of my way to introduce myself.”

“That sounds right, I suppose.” Max nodded. “So… did you know Chloe, too?”

“Well enough. Though we didn’t really stay in touch after she got expelled.” Steph looked up in thought. “She brought a few bootleg DVDs off of me. And we played a couple of five-minute sessions of D&D. I asked her once if she was into Rachel, because I wanted to make a move on her, but she just kind-of stuttered through her reply.”

Max’s brow furrowed. “Rachel Amber was gay?”

“Bi, I think.” Steph shrugged. “Like I said, never got a firm answer to that question.”

“... was Chloe? Into Rachel, I mean.”

“Never got a firm answer to that, either. But given how close those two were, it wouldn’t have surprised me if she was.” Steph cocked her head. “Why?”

“I...” Max dropped her gaze into the forgotten food in front of her. “I had a lot of questions I wanted to ask her. And things I wanted to say. But I never had a chance.”

Steph leaned back in her seat. “Were YOU into Chloe?”

Max glanced back up. “... is it that obvious?”

“Not very. But educated guesses, and all.” Steph smirked. “Relax. You don’t telegraph your girl-crushes nearly as much as your ward.”

“My... ward?”

“Your roommate? Your responsibility? Your foster child? The current bane of both your and my existence?”

“Victoria?”

“Give the kid a cigar.”

Max frowned. “She’s not gay.”

“I wholeheartedly disagree.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“Okay, in terms of Gaydar?” Steph held out two hands, rocking one back and forth gently. “You’re, like, a nuclear submarine. Where you can tell that it’s there, but only if you’re really looking for it. Blondie, on the other hand?” She made a fist with her other hand and flung her fingers out, making a noise like an explosion. “Fuckin’ Hiroshima.”

“Mm.” Max pursed her lips. “I’m pretty sure you’re wrong.”

Steph leaned forward. “Enlighten me.”

“It’s... something Victoria said to me, back at rehab.” Max frowned as she tried to recall the conversation. “I asked her about photography, because she was really into that back at Blackwell. She mentioned that it was still her dream, but it was hard to follow without her camera. When I asked if she sold it, she replied that she sold a lot of things. But... she did it in this way...”

“... ah ha.”

“I know she was cut off from most of her family’s money. And that she was somehow still getting her hands on cocaine.” Max bit her lip. “I’ve never asked her how, but...”

“Well.” Steph exhaled slowly, as she folded her arms and looked at the table. “Yea, I could see being that drastic. Especially if she was that big of a coke fiend.”

“Me too.”

“But honestly, Max? That doesn’t mean shit.” Steph shook her head. “Back when I was on the pills, there were a few times that I was really, really desperate. When I was short on cash, the withdrawals were starting, and I just HAD to get my fix. And to be frank, if my dealer had made the offer... I would’ve strongly considered it.”

Max leaned back. “So, did you ever...”

“No, thankfully. I never had to sink to that level.” Steph looked back up. “But this is getting depressing, and you never answered my question.”

“What was it?”

“Whether or not you were into Chloe.”

Max sighed. “... I never got to say how I felt out loud.”

“Shit.” Steph shook her head. “I’m sorry, man.”

“Thanks.” Max met Steph’s gaze. “You really think Victoria’s...”

“Hundred percent.” Steph paused. “Which leads to an interesting possibility.”

“What’s that?”

“Has she ever mentioned a girlfriend? Or any kind of significant other?”

Max shook her head.

“That means that she’s never been in any kind of real relationship. At least, one that didn’t involve drugs in some way.” Steph nodded. “So it’s entirely probable that you, Max, are the first person to actually give a shit about her in her whole life.”

“She has parents, Steph.”

“Yea, how’s that working out?”

“... fair point.” Max frowned. “But even if that is true, I don’t see how that changes anything.”

Steph smirked. “Was Victoria still a bitch when you got to her at rehab?”

“Definitely.”

“Would you call her a bitch now?”

“No.”

“You have a superpower, dude.” Steph nodded. “You actually changed Victoria’s entire attitude. I can confidently say that she is nothing like the student we both knew at Blackwell. Who would’ve figured that the secret was actually giving a crap?”

Max hummed. “You know, she did have friends at Blackwell. A couple of girls named Taylor and Courtney. They were a pretty tight-knit group.”

Steph frowned. “Not… Taylor Christensen?”

“You knew her?”

“Not well, but yea.” Steph smirked. “That’s funny.”

“What is?”

“Nothing meaningful. Anyway, were they also bitches?”

Max took a breath to answer affirmatively, but stopped as she gave the question serious thought. “... I don’t know.”

“How is that?”

“I mean, they weren’t very nice. But I honestly couldn’t tell you if it was because of Victoria or not.” Max ate another fry, chewing and swallowing. “You know how groups of friends sometimes mimic behavior of the alpha? I think that was what was going on, back then, because those two are a lot more mellow today.”

“Neither of them talk to Victoria anymore?”

Max shook her head. “Two more relationships that she’s ruined. Courtney wouldn’t even give me her address, back when Victoria was sending apology letters.”

“Bummer.” Steph took a sip of her drink. “Where are they now?”

“Well, I know Taylor is around Seattle somewhere. Last I heard, she’s working as an executive for Amazon.” Max glanced up in thought. “Courtney, I’m not sure of. I know she got a fashion degree from UCLA. I think she got a job at one of those niche clothing brands as a designer, and I’m pretty sure she moved back to Oregon. But like I said, I never got her address.”

“Mm.” Steph nodded. “How does Victoria feel about that?”

“I know she misses both of them. But she did some pretty bad shit.”

“What?”

Max chewed the inside of her cheek. “This is just us talking, right?”

“You, me, and the window.” Steph thumbed towards the glass beside them.

“Courtney tried to stop her a few times, back at UCLA, from doing coke. The last time, Victoria reacted by breaking her nose.” Max shook her head. “Then a couple of years ago, she met Taylor at her apartment for lunch. And while she was there, she swiped her dead mother’s necklace to trade for drugs.”

“Ah. Shit.” Steph sighed heavily. “Hard to come back from that.”

“I know. Honestly, after the reaction I got from Courtney, I didn’t even try to get ahold of Taylor.” Max leaned back in her seat. “Maybe I should’ve. I know Victoria still feels terrible about that, most of all.”

“Maybe.” Steph nodded. “But... maybe not yet.”

“Why?”

“Because some people don’t really start taking a sobriety effort seriously until you hit at least the six-month milestone.” Steph shrugged. “Which sucks, but that’s just the way it is.”

Max cocked her head. “Speaking from experience?”

“Victoria’s not the only addict who stole from people she cared about.” Steph scratched the back of her neck uncomfortably. “… I’d really like to leave it at that, if we could. I don’t like to talk about it either.”

“Sure.” Max nodded sympathetically. “You think after she gets the six-month token, I should revisit it?”

“Couldn’t hurt.” Steph smirked. “What’s the worst that could happen, a talking-to?”

“It was a pretty impressive tirade, that I got from Courtney.”

“She probably had time to practice.”

* * *

**Oct 7th, 2019**

**Days Sober: 127 **

The nightmare was new.

Usually Max didn’t move, when Chloe was shot. This time she did. The brunette exploded from her hiding spot, hand extended in a desperate attempt to stop Nathan from killing her friend.

Nothing different happened.

_You can’t stop this._

But I had so much to tell her.

_You had your chance._

It wasn’t enough!

_There was every opportunity._

But I-

_Calls. Texts. Email. Facebook. So many ways._

I’m sorry!

_It’s too late. _

_You made your decisions. _

_Now live with them._

There was the same gunshot. And her blue-haired friend still wound up dropping to the floor with lifeless eyes.

* * *

“NO!!”

Max shot upright in bed, her breathing ragged. She could feel the tears sliding down her face as she slowly turned, planting her feet on the floor and hanging her head.

A glance at the alarm clock reminded her that it was way too early to be awake. And what day it was. _October seventh,_she realized. _Six years today._

She rubbed her eyes, the back of her hand glistening when she pulled it away.

There was no knocking before the door opened. Max spared a glance to see Victoria standing there again, looking her over carefully. After a few seconds, the blonde joined her, sitting beside her on the edge of the bed.

“Sorry,” Max muttered, still breathing heavily.

“It’s fine,” Victoria said quietly. “I’m sorry, too.”

“It wasn’t your fault.” Max looked back at her. “You’re not responsible for what Nathan did.”

“He was still my friend.” Victoria shook her head. “I should’ve known something was wrong.”

“It’s not your fault,” Max repeated, as she rubbed her eye again. “I, uh... I have an appointment to see a therapist in the morning.”

“You do?”

“I made it the day before yesterday.” Max sighed. “My nightmares usually aren’t this bad. Or vivid.”

“... why are you telling me?” Victoria asked. “I won’t be here.”

“Because I give you a lot of shit about getting your life in order.” Max shrugged. “I don’t want you to feel like I’m a hypocrite, for not taking my own advice.”

Victoria cracked a small smirk. “I’m hardly one to judge people on how they handle their shit, you know.”

“Still.” Max wiped her eye again. “Sorry. For waking you up.”

“Mm.” Victoria shrugged. “You wanna just sit for a few minutes?”

Max nodded. “I’d appreciate that.”

Victoria held out her hand. Max, not knowing what else to do, took it after a few seconds. They both sat in the dark silently, hands clasped together as Max slowly started to feel better.

* * *

“_Hello, Max._”

“Hey, Joyce. How are you?”

“_Oh, about the usual, I suppose. Thank you so much for the flowers._”

“You’re welcome. I’m, uh... I’m so sorry.”

“_I know, sweetie. Me too._”

“Are you and David doing okay?”

“_As well as we can be. He’s in the garage, working on his car and trying not to think about it._”

“The same one, or a new one?”

“_A new one. He sold the Camaro a couple of months ago. Now he’s got an old Chevy pickup truck he won’t stop buying parts for._”

“Well, tell him I said good luck.”

“_I will._”

“Um... Joyce, can I ask a question? About Chloe?”

“_Of course._”

“I know her and the other girl, Rachel Amber... I mean, I heard that they were close.”

“_They certainly were. I think Rachel spent more nights at this house than she did her own. Practically inseparable, until she disappeared._”

“... how close were they?”

“_Are you asking if they were... together?_”

“I guess. I’m sorry, I was just talking to someone else about what happened, and they brought up a rumor that was going around.”

“_Ah ha. Well, I know quite a few people around town used to wonder about that, given how they were almost never more than ten feet apart. But honestly, Max, I don’t think so._”

“Really?”

“_Don’t get me wrong, they meant a lot to each other. Chloe essentially worshipped the ground Rachel walked on. But I don’t think Rachel ever returned those feelings to the same degree. And the police told us they found intimate pictures of her, when they searched that drug dealer’s RV._”

“Frank Bowers?”

“_Right, him. Anyway, given all that, I’m fairly certain Rachel and Chloe were not romantic with each other._”

“Oh.”

“_Is there a reason you’re asking?_”

“I guess just curiosity. I’m sorry to bring it up.”

“_It’s fine, Max. It gets easier to talk about with each year. How are you doing?_”

“Like you said, it gets better.”

“_What about Victoria? How is she coming along?_”

“She’s better, too. Still sober. I don’t remember if I told you, but your letter really meant a lot to her.”

“_Oh, good. Will you let her know that I’m still praying for her?_”

“I will, Joyce. I think she’ll be really happy to hear it.”


	22. Dinner

**Oct 17th, 2019**

**Days sober: 137 **

“If you don’t stop picking at that, it’s going to fray.”

Victoria looked down and saw that Max was right; her shirt cuff was starting to come loose. She willed herself to stop tugging at the loose threads and placed her hands on her lap. “Sorry,” she muttered. “Just… anxious.”

“It’s okay.” Max smiled at her, as she drove the car. “How long has it been since you’ve had dinner with your parents?”

“I honestly don’t remember,” Victoria admitted. “There’s a good possibility that I was high at the time. But even then, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t at the penthouse.”

“Really?”

Victoria shook her head. “He entertains important people there,” she explained. “After I got the boot from UCLA, he didn’t want me around those people while he was trying to wine and dine them. Which is why he squirreled me away at the condo. I don’t think I’ve been there in years, and the last time, it wasn’t for dinner.” She hesitated. “Did they say why they wanted to have us?”

Max shrugged. “I’ve been telling them how well you’ve been doing,” she mentioned. “And that your progress is amazing. They probably just want a chance to have a nice dinner with their daughter.”

“Mm.” Victoria folded her arms as she looked out the window. “I suppose there’s a first time for everything.”

“You need to stop that.”

“Stop what?”

“Being combative.” Max shot her a look. “I know your relationship with your family could best be described as ‘strained’. But it would be a huge step forward, for both you and your parents, if you guys could get through a single meal without fighting about something.”

Victoria sighed. “... fine. I’ll be nice.”

“Well, try not to ack like I’m asking you to build Rome in a day,” Max said dryly. “Is it that building?”

“Yea.” Victoria pointed. “Take this left. There’s an underground garage for the people who live on the upper floors.”

Max followed her instructions, turning into the entrance. A gate arm greeted her, as well as a bored-looking man in a booth. “Who are you here to see?” he asked, as she rolled her window down.

“Derek Chase.”

“Name?”

“Max Caulfield.”

He checked the clipboard in his hands and nodded. “Okay. Have a nice evening, Miss Caulfield.”

Victoria sighed, as the gate went up and Max drove forward. “Go figure.”

“What?”

“We’re here under your name. Not mine.”

“Your father knows that I’m the one driving the car,” Max reminded her crossly. “Not everything he does is a slight against you. And you thinking otherwise, quite frankly, says more about you than it does about him.”

Victoria bit her lip. “... sorry.”

Max parked the car in an empty space near the elevator and killed the ignition. “Look, I want you to do something for me.”

“What?”

“I know you have a lot of issues with your parents. But I want you to try and forget about them for the next few hours, and focus on the fact that they’re having us over for a nice meal. Try to imagine that maybe they’re happy to see you. That they might actually be thrilled that their only child is off drugs, and making a real effort to turn her life around.”

Victoria took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yea.” She nodded. “I will be on my best behavior.”

* * *

The penthouse was one of the nicest spaces Max had ever seen.

When they got off the elevator, they were greeted by an entryway that looked like something out of an antique store. The walls were a cream-white color, accented with stone columns and inlays. Matching artwork hung on the walls, and a pair of blue metal sculptures provided a necessary contrasting color. Past the luxurious grey furniture were floor-to-ceiling windows that overlooked the rest of the city, and a staircase at one end of the room led to a second floor.

“Wow,” she breathed. “This place is gorgeous.”

Victoria smirked as the elevator doors closed behind them. “You should see the mansion.”

A throat cleared, and they turned to see an older gentleman in a sharp suit. “Miss Chase, Miss Caulfield, welcome,” he greeted them in a tone of voice Max would only describe as ‘proper’. “This way, please.”

They followed him up the staircase, where a square table was set with four places. On the other end of the room, in a corner with windows on either side, Victoria’s parents sat on a leather couch and conversed quietly. They both stopped as they saw the girls, and Mary leapt from her seat to great them.

“Victoria!” She rushed over, hugging her daughter.

Victoria hugged her back after a second. “Hi, Mom.”

“God, you look so much better.” Mary pulled back, keeping her hands on Victoria’s shoulders as she looked her daughter up and down. “It’s so good to see you, sweetie.”

“You too.” She looked past Mary’s shoulder. “Hey, Dad.”

Derek had come up behind Mary slowly, smiling at his daughter. “Victoria. Your mother’s right, you look well.” He glanced at the brunette. “And Max, of course, we’re so happy to have you here.”

“Thanks. For, uh, having me.” Max tried to ignore the tension between Victoria and her father. “You guys have an amazing place here.”

“Thank you.”

“I thought you guys lived on Mercer Island, though.”

Derek shook his head. “We keep a residence there, but we’ve found it more convenient to stay in the city. Less traveling to and from work.”

“Ah ha.” Max glanced back at the windows. “I guess you don’t get this kind of view over on Mercer Island, either.”

“Not out there, no. Though the view of Puget Sound is nothing to sneeze at.” He gestured towards the table. “Come, let’s sit.”

* * *

“So, Victoria, Max was telling us that you’ve started your classes.”

Victoria finished sipping her water, putting down the glass before giving Max a look. “That made it into the email, huh?”

“I thought it was worth mentioning.”

“I guess.” Victoria sighed and turned back to her father. “Yes. They put me in a couple of elective classes. American History, and then one called Informal Logic.”

Her mother frowned. “What’s that?”

“Critical thinking, and practical reasoning. I started last week.”

“Congratulations.” Her father smiled. “How many credits did they transfer?”

“About forty. They said I could get a bachelor’s in a couple of years, if I stick with two classes at a time.”

“Good.” Derek sounded pleased. “What major?”

“... I don’t know,” Victoria admitted. “I, uh, haven’t decided yet; there’s a few of them that I really like. They let me come in as Undeclared.”

“Mm hm.” Derek didn’t sound as pleased at that. “Have you put any serious thought into it?”

“Yea.” Victoria slouched in her seat a little bit. “I have a while before I need to figure it out.”

“She’s been getting good grades so far,” Max interjected. “She got full points for her History posts. And she’s at ninety-seven percent for Informal Logic.”

“Oh, how wonderful!” Mary exclaimed. “Good work, sweetie.”

Victoria relaxed, marginally. “Yea, well.” She paused. “Gotta boost that GPA somehow.”

The man from before, as well as a woman in a chef’s jacket, chose that moment to appear from the kitchen. Each one carried a pair of plates, which they set down in front of all of them. “Tuna tartare, with toasted pine nuts, scallions, cucumber, ginger, and sautéed Shishido peppers,” the woman stated as she put the plate in front of Max. “The main course will be ready in twenty minutes.”

Max looked over the plate of food, which was decidedly fancier than anything she’d ever eaten with her parents. And smelled amazing. “Are these peppers spicy?” she asked carefully.

“A couple of them might be.” Mary smiled as she stabbed one with a fork. “But they’re very flavorful. Jasmine’s an excellent cook.”

Victoria glanced back towards the kitchen. “What happened to Pierre?”

“He left to open a restaurant in Los Angeles a couple of years ago,” Her father answered. “It’s been doing very well. He recommended Jasmine to take his place.”

_Wow._ Max mulled that over, as she ate one of the peppers and found it to be delicious. _New life goal; get rich enough to have a personal chef._

She ate another pepper, then set her fork down. “I’m sorry, where’s the bathroom?”

“Oh, it’s through there.” Derek pointed away from the kitchen. “On the right.”

Max stood and headed that way, turning a corner to find herself in a hallway with doors on either side. She got to the first door on the right and turned the knob.

It didn’t open. The handle rattled against the lock.

She frowned, confused. There was no slot for a key, only a pinhole. Similar to the lock in her old apartment’s bathroom door; she remembered using a paperclip to open it from the outside, when she’d once locked herself out by accident.

_Why would they lock it from the inside?_

Max moved to the next door. That handle opened freely, the door swinging open to reveal the bathroom. She glanced around the hall, then reached behind her for a third door. It was also locked.

_... hmm._ She let go of the knob and stepped back, noting that all of the other doors had the same knob, and they were all closed. _Okay, then._

“Do you need help, Miss Caulfield?”

She flinched as the man in the suit appeared around the corner. “No, sorry,” she apologized. “Just using the bathroom. But, um... what’s through the rest of these doors?” she asked, framing the question as innocently as possible.

“These doors lead to, ah... the billiards room, the study, the lounge, a guest room, and Mister Chase’s office,” he replied, pointing to each door. “And the master suite is around the corner, as well as a private balcony.”

“Oh.” She smiled. “Sorry. I’ve never been in a place like this before.”

“That’s quite all right, Miss. Please let me know if you need any assistance.”

Max nodded as she stepped into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

* * *

Victoria and her parents were still making small talk about her classes when Max came back. She watched the blonde visibly relax, tension leaving her face as Max sat back down.

The main course came out shortly afterward. “Alaskan halibut with roasted squash, cipollini onions, smoked tomato jam, and green harissa butter,” the chef announced as the plates were swapped around. “Enjoy.”

Max took a bite, savoring the taste. “That’s incredible.”

Derek nodded in agreement, as he took his own bite. “Mm. Jasmine’s an exceptional cook, but her halibut is what really convinced us to hire her.”

“I can see why. I usually don’t even like fish that much.” Max ate another morsel. “This really is amazing.”

“Yea, it is,” Victoria agreed. “Too bad about Pierre, though. He used to do something with duck and pomegranates that was world-rocking.”

“He did,” Mary agreed. “It was a citrus glaze, with oranges and cinnamon. Absolutely incredible.”

“Mm hm.” Victoria finished her mouthful, then took a drink before standing. “I’ll be right back.”

Max watched her head for the bathroom, wincing internally. _Hope she remembers which door it is._

“It really is amazing.”

She turned to Derek. “I’m sorry?”

“Victoria. How much better she looks.” Derek nodded at Max. “It’s night and day, compared to what she was before. You weren’t kidding about how far you’ve brought her.”

Max bit the inside of her cheek before responding. “She’s done most of the work. I’m just there in case she needs me.”

“Still, she was nothing like this until you came along,” Mary told her. “There were times that I never thought we’d be able to have a regular conversation with her again. The fact that we haven’t had an argument since she’s been here is almost unbelievable.”

“Well, she’s putting a lot of work into her sobriety,” Max reminded them. “She’s been taking the NA meetings very seriously. I don’t think Victoria’s missed one since we left rehab. And she’s very committed to turning her life around.”

“I can see that.” Derek nodded. “I can’t tell you how happy we are with your efforts. It feels good to have her in a better place.”

Max took a breath. “Is that why the rest of your penthouse is locked up like a bank vault?”

Derek and Mary were both taken aback.

“I saw the rest of the doors. They’re all locked from the inside.” Max sat back. “After all the progress I’ve been telling you she’s making, you guys really think she wants to raid your place for valuables?”

“Well, we just...” Derek hesitated. “We didn’t want her to... there’s a lot of expensive-”

“If you’re so worried about her stealing, why invite us here?” Max pressed. “Why not a restaurant?”

“We wanted to show how much we support her.”

_Fuck it. In for a penny, in for a pound. _Max crossed her arms. “Is that why you won’t hug your own kid?”

“I...” Derek floundered, at a loss for words.

“It’s the first time you’ve seen her in months, since we left the rehab center. And when we got here, she got exactly half as many hugs as she deserves. Or are you going back to showing your affection through the money you’re throwing at her through me?” Max asked. “Victoria doesn’t see the emails we exchange. As far as she can tell, you’re just present somewhere in her life.”

“We’re trying to-”

“Try harder,” Max told him. “Because pure monetary support isn’t enough for a child. And over the past four months, Victoria’s gotten more love and support from the girl she almost bullied into committing suicide than you two.”

The looks on Mary and Derek’s faces could best have been described with the word ‘shock’. Or possibly ‘horrified’; Max couldn’t decide.

_... I may have just lost my job._

Victoria came back after a few seconds. Max immediately plastered a smile on her face when she saw her. “Hey. I was just telling your parents about your sponsor’s table manners.”

The blonde scoffed. “You mean the lack thereof?” she said dryly.

“I know. What you call it, after that first night?”

“A coyote tearing into carrion, I think. Or something like that.” She shook her head, as she sat back down. “She should look into competitive eating, with how fast she gobbles burgers.”

“... that bad?” Mary asked quietly, not looking at Max.

“Best described as eating by the fistful.” Victoria sighed. “The family of wolves that raised her would be proud.”

* * *

The conversation slowly picked back up after that. Max didn’t speak much, though. And Victoria’s parents spent the rest of the meal focused on their daughter.

When they did leave, they were both bid good night very politely. The ride back down to Max’s car was quiet, as was the drive back to the condo, with only the occasional comment being made by either of them.

It was late by the time they got back, so they changed and went to bed, Victoria updating her number first. Max crawled under the covers and turned out her light.

Then spent several minutes trying not to think about whether or not she was out of a job.

She was still trying to get to sleep when she heard soft noises through the wall she shared with Victoria. Max frowned as she tried to identify them. After a few seconds, she quietly turned and got out of bed, then crept over and put her ear to the wall.

_Is that..._

_..._

_Shit._

She left her room quickly. Max didn’t bother knocking on Victoria’s door before she opened it.

As she did, the blonde threw her sheets over her head.

“Victoria?” Max asked. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” Victoria murmured from under the blanket. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you. Go back to sleep.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“I can hear you through the wall, Victoria.” Max flipped a switch, and the bedside lamp turned on as she made her way over to stand beside her. “What happened?”

“I’m fine.”

Max sighed, then grabbed the sheet and yanked it off Victoria’s head.

The tears were still rolling down the blonde’s face. She frantically tried to wipe them away, though that didn’t do anything to help the redness and irritation around her eyes. Or the wetness around her nostrils.

“You’re not fine.”

Victoria wiped her face one more time, then gave up and sank deeper into her pillow. “... yea.”

Max sat down on the bed beside her, and her hand found Victoria’s to grasp it lightly. “You want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“It might make you feel better.”

“... fine.” Victoria sighed as she slowly sat upright. “Okay... I don’t know if you saw or not, but... my parents had all the doors in the penthouse locked shut.”

_Damn it._

Victoria must have noticed something on Max’s face. “You did see it.”

“Yea. I did.” Max squeezed her hand. “I’m sorry. But look, Victoria, they-”

“They thought I might try to steal shit.” Victoria sniffled and wiped her eyes again. “My parents locked up half the penthouse to keep me away from the valuables. Like I’m some fucking criminal or something.”

Max tried to come up with a way to defend Victoria’s parents, but failed in the moment.

“I don’t think they’ll ever trust me again.”

“Yes, they will,” Max said immediately. “It’ll take time, Victoria. But your parents will come around eventually.”

“I doubt it.” Victoria sniffled again, as she averted her eyes. “They don’t change their minds. But I guess I can’t blame them, can I?”

“Victoria-”

“I’ll always be the druggie.” Victoria’s voice cracked. “Fuck, Max, I can’t even get a hug from my dad, I don’t know why I would ever expect to...”

Her breathing started to hitch, as her voice failed. Max pulled her closer, and Victoria let herself slide forward into the hug.

Max rubbed her back as Victoria quietly cried into her shoulder. Every few seconds, her breathing would catch again as the blonde struggled to stop. It didn’t take long for Max to feel the moisture start to seep through her shirt.

It took several minutes for Victoria to calm down. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled into Max’s shirt.

“It’s okay.” Max hugged her tightly, then let go. “Here, come on. Look at me.”

Victoria picked her head up and stared at Max, a desolate look on her face.

“I told you that this wasn’t going to be easy,” Max reminded her. “This is not going to be a fast process, either. But your parents know that you’ve been making incredible progress.”

“I doubt it,” Victoria muttered.

“I promise, they do.” Max took her hands and squeezed. “Trust takes time to rebuild. Especially after everything that’s happened. But you will get it back.”

Victoria sniffled. “... you think so?”

“I know so. You’re making an amazing, herculean effort in turning your life around. Your parents may have trouble seeing it, but nobody else does.” Max paused. “You’re doing incredible, Victoria. I really mean that. And everything is going to be okay in the end.”

The blonde averted her gaze, as she wiped her eyes again.

“Hey.” Max moved her hands and squeezed Victoria’s shoulders, trying to get the blonde to look back at her. “Listen, you’re thinking too much into this. You don’t-”

Of everything Max thought would happen, being kissed was the furthest thing from her mind.

But as soon as Victoria looked up, it happened. They were almost nose-to-nose anyway, so as the blonde glanced up, it was a very short and fast movement before her lips were on Max’s.

She became hyper-focused on the feeling of Victoria’s mouth on hers. And the slight taste of cherries, from the blonde’s Chapstick. Time slowed to a crawl as Max’s heart rate spiked into the triple digits.

It took Max longer than it should’ve to realize what was happening. And to register that Victoria was really kissing her. And that she didn’t... hate it.

In fact, it felt nice. Especially since she hadn’t done any serious kissing in several months.

Which was probably why it took so long for Max to realize that she was kissing back.

She jerked her head back, looking at Victoria in astonishment at what had just happened.

The blonde, for her part, had her own shocked look on her face. Whether it was from what she’d done, or what Max had done, wasn’t obvious.

Neither of them spoke for several seconds.

“I, uh...” Max worked her mouth like a fish. “I-”

“I’m sorry,” Victoria said quickly. “I wasn’t- I didn’t-”

“I don’t know what-”

“I’m not-”

They both stopped stuttering as they looked at each other mutely. Max watched Victoria’s face slowly flush, though she couldn’t tell whether it was from embarrassment or not.

Though she was distracted by the rising heat in her own face.

_Say something say something oh my God SAY SOMETHING._

“I’m, uh... I’m gonna go back to bed,” Max said quietly.

Victoria squirmed. “... okay.”

Neither of them said anything else as she got up and left, closing the door behind her.


	23. Lunch

**Oct 18th, 2019**

**Days Sober: 138 **

Max was still awake well after midnight, staring at her ceiling. Her mind raced as she tried to comprehend what had happened.

_I kissed Victoria._

_Or... no. She kissed me. Right?_

_Okay, we kissed. Let’s go with that._ Max swallowed nervously. _So... what the hell am I supposed to do? Or say?_

_Jesus Christ, I’m her Sober Companion. This isn’t supposed to happen. If I kissed a patient back at Resting Willows, Mike would’ve thrown me out on my ass. Hell, he might’ve even blacklisted me to the other rehab centers. It would’ve been career-ending._

_Then again, this is hardly official._

_That’s not a fucking excuse,_ she berated herself. _You’re the goddamn Sober Companion. You’re supposed to keep things professional, not going around kissing your fucking patient._

_Maybe I can just play it off. She started it._

_Though I didn’t exactly reject it._

_Son of a bitch. Why the fuck did I kiss her back?_ Max pinched the bride of her nose in the dark. _Could’ve pushed her away. Would’ve been a much easier conversation in the morning. I can’t believe I did that._

_... has it really been so long since Megan?_

_No. Stop. DON’T open that door. I did not kiss her back because it’s been a while. I did it because she’s... attractive? Genuine? Caring? All of the above?_

_Oh my God, I’m justifying what I did by trying to convince myself that it wasn’t that bad. EXACTLY like they talked about in classes._

_I need to stop._ Max glanced at her bedside clock; a little after three in the morning. _It’s way to late to keep thinking about this. Victoria has an early shift tomorrow; I can figure the rest of this out while she’s at work._

She sighed as she rolled over, for what felt like the hundredth time that night, and tried not to think about Victoria.

_I guess this means Steph was right._

_... damnit._

* * *

The buzzing phone on Max’s nightstand dragged her from her sleep.

She groaned, peeling her eye open and looking at the clock; a little after nine in the morning. Way too early for her to be awake, especially considering how long it had taken for her to finally fall asleep. She closed her eye again as she fished around the bedside table for her phone, answering it blindly and putting it to her ear.

“Hello?” she mumbled sleepily.

“_Good morning. Is this Max Caulfield?_”

“Yea. Who’s this?”

“_My name’s Brad White, Miss Caulfield. I work for Mister Chase._”

Her eyes flew open. _Oh, shit. I completely forgot that I’m gonna get fired._

“Um... okay.” She sat up in bed, trying to act like her heart wasn’t pounding. “What can I do for you?”

“_Well, I’m calling to make sure you’re free today. Mister Chase wants to meet for lunch._”

Max glanced at her bedroom door. “His daughter isn’t here. She had an early shift to work.”

“_I’m sorry, Miss Caulfield, I wasn’t clear. Mister Chase wants to speak with you privately._”

That didn’t make her feel better. _Great. He’s gonna fire me in person._

_... over lunch? _

“Uh, yea. I’m free for lunch.” She paused. “Why does he want to meet with me?”

“_He didn’t say. Can I pick you up in ninety minutes?_”

“Sure. My, uh, address is-”

“_I have your address, Miss Caulfield. The condo in Georgetown. I’ll be near the front entrance at ten-thirty sharp._”

* * *

Max walked out of the building at ten-thirty-two.

There was a grey SUV waiting for her. A well-built man in a suit stood by the back door, and opened it for her as soon as she walked outside. She warily got inside, the man closing the door behind her as she put on the seat belt.

“It’ll be about a twenty-minute drive,” he reported as he got in the driver’s seat. “Would you like me to adjust the air conditioning for you?”

“I’m fine.” Max cocked her head. “Are you... Brad?”

“I am.” He smiled through the rearview mirror. “Pleasure to meet you.”

“Yea.” Max sighed. “Not for long, though.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Pretty sure your boss is about to fire me.” She slouched, sinking into the plush leather seat. “You’re probably gonna be dropping me off at a bus station when we’re done.”

Brad smirked. “I highly doubt it, Miss Caulfield.”

“Why?”

“Mister Chase doesn’t fire people.”

“He… doesn’t?” She cocked her head. “I find that hard to believe, considering he’s a CEO of a multi-billion-dollar company.”

“No, he does order people to be fired,” Brad clarified. “But he doesn’t do it himself, Miss Caulfield. Not in person. He has people do it for him.”

“Ah ha.” Max leaned back in her seat. “Well, after what I did, he might make an exception.”

“Miss Caulfield-”

“You can call me Max.”

“Max, then. I took the instructions to get you for lunch directly from him,” he said. “I’ve seen Mister Chase when he has people fired, and when we spoke this morning, he did not act like you were about to be fired.”

“... oh.” Max took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Okay, then. But... Derek didn’t say why he wanted to meet, when you guys talked?”

Brad looked at Max through the mirror with raised eyebrows.

“What?”

“I’ve been working for Mister Chase for almost five years.” He paused. “You’re only the second person I’ve seen refer to him by his first name.”

Max frowned. “He told me to, a while ago.”

“You didn’t prompt him? He asked you to call him that?”

“Yea.” She tilted her head. “Who else calls him Derek?”

“His wife.”

“That’s it? Seriously?”

He nodded his head. “Executives who’ve worked with him for a decade or more still call him Mister Chase. I’ve never seen anyone ever entertain the idea of referring to him by his first name, not even privately.”

“Wow.” Max blinked. “I wonder what I did to get special treatment.”

Brad smirked again. “Given his position, I can assure you that there’s a long line of people who’d like to find out.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” Max hesitated. “You really don’t think I’m gonna be fired?”

“I would bet on it. Though he didn’t say why he wanted this meeting when he told me to collect you.”

“Okay.” Max sighed. “So... you’ve worked for Derek for five years? As what, his driver?”

“When necessary.” Brad nodded. “I’m one of his personal assistants.”

“One of? How many does he have?”

“At the moment, him and his wife employ four of us.”

Max hummed. “What else do you do?”

“Whatever’s asked of me.”

“That’s a little vague.”

“I’m afraid that all of their assistants, including myself, are bound by non-disclosure agreements when it comes to discussing the Chase family’s personal business. Even with fellow employees.”

“But I’m not an employee,” Max protested.

“If Mister Chase is paying you, then you’re one of his employees.” Brad shrugged. “Besides, he can’t really fire someone who doesn’t work for him, can he?”

Max sighed. “I suppose that’s true. Well, then, what did you do before you started working for Derek?”

“I was a Marine.”

“Really?”

“First Recon Battalion, First Marine Division.” He nodded. “I was a Scout Sniper for eight years.”

Max leaned forward. “How does a Marine sniper end up working as a personal assistant to Derek Chase?” she asked. “Unless you’re one of his bodyguards or something?”

“Well, I was head-hunted when I left the military. There are individuals who find it handy to employ a combat veteran with a degree in organizational management.” Brad cracked another smile. “But as I’ve said, Max, I’m bound by a non-disclosure agreement when it comes to discussing what I do.”

“Right.” Max sat back. “And we are going to see Derek? You’re not going to tie cinderblocks to my feet and dump me in the Puget Sound?”

“No.” He shook his head. “I wouldn’t do that during the daytime anyway. Much easier to get away with at night.”

“Oh. Super. I’ll try not to let that thought fester.”

* * *

The restaurant they pulled up to was a Greek place Max was familiar with; her parents had taken her there, before she’d left for Blackwell. She’d had to dress up for the occasion, because it was incredibly upscale.

She wasn’t surprised when the maître d started shaking his head as soon as Max walked through the door, wearing blue jeans and her favorite grey hoodie. “I’m sorry, miss, but I’m afraid that you must-”

“She’s here as Mister Chase’s guest.”

Max jumped, startled. She hadn’t heard Brad come in behind her.

“Oh. Oh, I’m terribly sorry.” The man looked aghast. “Please, forgive me, miss. This way.”

Brad stayed at the entrance, as Max followed the maître d through a short hallway and into a private dining room. Derek was sitting by himself at the table, drumming his fingers on the menu in front of him.

The maître d cleared his throat. “Your guest, Mister Chase.”

Derek looked up, and Max couldn’t help but notice the bags under his eyes. “Thank you, Rashad.”

“May I bring you anything?”

“Another coffee, please.”

“And for you, miss?”

“… coffee sounds good.”

He bowed and departed, leaving Max by herself with Derek. “Good morning,” she said carefully.

“Thanks for coming, Max.” Derek sounded tired, as he nodded towards the table. “Would you sit?”

She did so, scooting her chair in as Rashad came back with two cups of coffee. Her set them down in front of Max and Derek, leaving as quickly as he’d come.

“Forgive me,” Derek said offhandedly as he took a sip. “I didn’t sleep well.”

Max took a deep breath. “I... Mister Chase-”

“Derek, Max. Please.”

_... maybe I’m not I as much trouble as I thought._

“Derek. I’m, uh... I’m sorry. For what I said over dinner.”

He looked her in the eye. “Did you mean it?”

She opened her mouth to say no, but stopped. _I don’t think lying is going to be helpful. Besides, his ego isn’t what’s important right now._

“Yes.”

“I don’t know how much value you’ll put on any advice I give. But don’t apologize for being honest.” Derek sighed. “I couldn’t get what you told us out of my head last night. Neither could my wife. I don’t think either of us slept at all.”

“I didn’t mean for that,” Max said quietly. “I wasn’t trying to be hurtful.”

“I’m sure if you had been, we would’ve known. You clearly don’t pull your punches.” He paused. “How is Victoria? Really? I can tell that you’re leaving things out of your emails.”

Max bit her lip. “She... struggles. It’s not as easy for her as I make it sound. I know you don’t know much about addiction, but trust me, the amount of strength she’s shown is incredible.”

“Christ.” He shook his head. “You’re right, of course. I don’t know very much about it. Which… I suppose is why we’re both sitting here.”

“How do you mean?”

“At this table. Talking about my daughter and her problems.” He looked away. “My biggest failure. And one that, for a very long time, I’ve blamed Victoria for.”

Max frowned. “You think Victoria’s a failure?”

“I did. Until recently.”

“Derek-”

“Can I ask how much Victoria’s told you about our family?” he asked, looking back at her. “Regarding how we got where we are today?”

Max cocked her head. “Not much, besides what you and your wife do. And she barely glossed over that.”

“Would you mind if I give you a more detailed history?”

“Not at all.”

“Well.” He leaned back in his chair. “Do you know what many families like ours have in common, when it comes to the origins of our wealth?”

She shook her head, her curiosity officially piqued.

“It has ties to illicit activities.” He nodded towards the wall beside them, where an unattended bar sat with rows of visible liquor bottles. “My great-grandfather cut his teeth back in the nineteen-twenties, during Prohibition. Samuel Chase made a small fortune by running a massive network of bootleggers, smuggling illegal alcohol all over the country.”

Max smirked back. “That’s... actually pretty cool.”

“I agree. Which is why, to this day, Chase Enterprises owns controlling shares of a few distilleries around the country. Do you know what came about while Prohibition was ending?”

“The Great Depression?”

“That’s right. Now, do you know who DIDN’T lose money during said depression?”

Max frowned. “I thought everybody did.”

“Almost everybody. Smart people who had money in abundance did pretty well. The alcohol industry profited, because everybody enjoys drinking under any circumstances, so Samuel continued to profit. Even after Prohibition ended, alcohol was still in high demand.”

“Mm.” Max nodded. “I have heard that booze is recession-proof.”

“Very much so. And Samuel, aside from being a very slippery man, was also very clever. While everybody was trying to sell everything they could, simply to make ends meet, he was buying whatever he could get his hands on.”

“What, like stocks?”

“Stocks, loans, real estate, business interests… in short, anything that used to be worth owning. People were selling for pennies on the dollar, and he was buying whatever they put in front of him.” Derek nodded. “By the time my grandfather came into the business, those interests were the definition of ‘diverse’.” And of course, once the market began to bounce back, so did the value of everything Samuel had purchased. By the time World War Two started, my family’s small fortune had turned into quite a large one.”

Max leaned forward. “Did your grandfather serve? I know there was a draft going on.”

Derek smirked, the first hint of amusement she’d seen since her arrival. “Oh, my dear Max. The draft was for poor people.”

“So… that’s a no?”

“One of the perks of being wealthy is a certain number of political connections. Samuel was able to secure a deferral for his son, Jacob.” Derek paused, sipping at his coffee. “You see, one of those businesses he purchased was an industrial manufacturing company that turned raw materials into parts for military vehicles, including tanks and airplanes. As a senior manager of that business, responsible for the delivery of those parts, Jacob was too valuable to be sent into combat.”

Max frowned. “How old was he?”

“Early twenties.”

“Little young to be a senior manager.”

“Not when your father owns the company.”

She snorted. “Fair enough. So, then what?”

“Well, Samuel eventually passed, as the older generations tend to. Jacob took the reins, and I can confidently say that he’s the one who made the business what it is today.”

“How so?”

“By displaying a brilliant amount of strategic management.” He waved his hand. “When I say most of it would be lost on you, it’s not to be condescending. It’s because what he did and why it worked is incredibly complicated; explaining would take hours. The layman’s version is that he reorganized our interests under one giant umbrella, incorporating the name Chase Enterprises. He was the first CEO, and he ran the company for a number of years.”

Max nodded. “Is this where your father comes in?”

Derek pressed his lips together, and Max sensed a certain amount of contention. “You have to understand something, Max, about my family.”

“What’s that?”

“I never actually knew Samuel or Jacob. My great-grandfather died before I was born, and my grandfather passed when I was four or five. So when I speak of them fondly, it’s only because of our storied history; I have little insight as to what they were like on a personal level.”

Max leaned back. “And... your father?”

“Franklin Chase, I can confidently say, was a heartless son of a bitch.”

She raised her eyebrows silently.

“He was never clinically analyzed, that I know of. But from what I saw and the stories I heard, he displayed all the signs of being a functioning psychopath. Which, by the way, is a condition that befalls one in five business leaders in corporate America.”

Max shivered. “I didn’t know that.”

“It’s not something people like to discuss. Anyway, my father was not a good person. He continued Jacob’s expansion, and eventually wormed his way into the European and Asian markets. But he left an absolute bloodbath in his wake.” Derek paused. “Figuratively, not literally.”

“What does that mean?”

“If you were in his way, you were an enemy to be destroyed. It didn’t matter if you were a major corporation, or a mom-and-pop ice cream parlor sitting on land that he wanted. He completely and ruthlessly annihilated his competition; eliminating jobs, destroying people’s lifelong works, whatever had to be done.”

Max hummed. “That doesn’t sound like it made for a very good home life.”

Derek waved his hand. “I wasn’t abused, if that’s what you’re getting at. But... well, my father had very concrete ideas of how things should be. And how I was to be raised, to best further the Chase Dynasty.” He sighed. “I’m not proud of some of the values he instilled in me. Though I like to think that I’m better than he was.”

“What happened to him, exactly?” Max asked curiously. “You’re not that old. I would think he was still alive somewhere.”

“He died of heart failure a few months after Victoria was born.” Derek shrugged. “I will say this about him, his work ethic was unmatched. A secretary found him at his desk the next morning, with a pen still in his hand.”

“Wow.”

“I know. That’s why I make it a point to get away from the business for a couple of weeks a year.”

Max nodded. “When you say the values he instilled... what does that mean?”

Derek gestured back towards the bar. “He abhorred drinking, for one. In his mind, the partaking of any substance that could affect your capabilities was the utmost sign of weakness.”

“... including cocaine.”

“Well, yes, but he never mentioned harder drugs. It was just understood.” Derek waved his hand dismissively. “I rebelled, of course. I enjoy the occasional scotch, cigar, what have you. And I married someone out of love, not for convenience or politics.”

“He wasn’t a fan of your wife?”

“Not at first. Until he found out that while Mary’s family history isn’t quite as much of a legacy as mine, she is a distant relative of the Waltons.”

Max did a double take. “The... as in, the Wal-Mart family?”

“VERY distant,” Derek emphasized. “There are a couple of marriages and cousins between her and the descendants of Sam and Bud Walton. Close enough to grow up well-off, with a trust fund to pay for whichever college she wanted. But she has no claim to their fortune.”

“... damn.”

“Yes, once my father learned that little fact, any resistance he had to our relationship vanished.”

Max nodded. “Derek, this is... well, an incredible story. But what does it have to do with Victoria being a failure?”

He sighed. “I... think I may have brought a little too much into the ‘Chase Dynasty’ my father always lectured me on,” he admitted. “I know I’m going to pass one day. I wanted to make sure that I left a business that Victoria could be proud to call hers. And... I fear that I may have focused too much of my efforts on that, instead of raising my daughter.”

“Mm.” Max folded her arms. “Frankly, Derek, I think that’s an understatement.”

“I know. You’ve made your opinions very clear.” He looked even more tired that he had earlier, as he dragged a hand over his face. “Am I a bad father, Max?”

_If there was ever a loaded question..._

“You... could have done better,” Max answered carefully. “I’m not a parent, so I can’t really critique your work. But the fact that we’re sitting her, having this conversation…”

“Means that I fucked up,” Derek said simply.

Max didn’t reply. Though the affirmative answer was probably all over her face.

“Victoria’s issues. Her addiction to cocaine.” He looked at Max hesitantly. “Is all of it my fault?”

She inhaled slowly before answering. “No.”

“It’s not?”

“Neither of you forced Victoria to snort that first line of coke. She did it all on her own.” Max paused, choosing her next words carefully. “But let’s be clear, Derek, you’re not completely innocent in this situation, and neither is your wife. Children are more than just heirs to your precious throne; you can’t just ignore their needs and wants, then act surprised when they start having behavioral problems.”

Derek made no attempt to defend himself. He absorbed what Max said, an incredibly dismal expression on his face. After a few moments, he sighed heavily.

“Of all the lessons my father taught me, none of them involved being a good parent,” he admitted. “Which is probably for the best, since he was hardly a good one himself. My wife’s family... well, we don’t have much to do with them. Mary’s parents have also passed, and neither of us has any siblings.” He met her gaze. “I’d give anything for someone like you to have been there, to tell us that we were failing.”

Max chewed the inside of her cheek. “Why didn’t you ever ask for help?” she asked, adopting a gentler tone. “At the very least, after everything happened at Blackwell.”

“Because I never considered the possibility that I needed it,” Derek said simply. “I’ve excelled at almost everything I’ve ever done, Max. As far as I was concerned, Victoria was another problem I had under control.”

_And look where we are now._ Max kept her thoughts to herself, though.

“What do I do, Max?”

She cocked her head. “What do you mean?”

“You’re the first person to actually tell me that I’m a terrible parent,” he reminded her. “And you seem to be the expert at this table, when it comes to my daughter. I want to do better. I know I need to do better. But…” a look of defeat crossed his face. “I don’t know how.”

_… I suppose the fact that he can admit it means a lot._

“Well... you can start by showing her a little more support,” Max allowed. “I told you guys that she was getting her four-month chip two weeks ago. You could have gone; it would have meant a lot for her to have you there.”

He grimaced. “I wasn’t in town.”

“Where were you?”

“Montreal.”

“Okay. Well, she also got her ninety-day chip last month. Where were you then?”

Derek shifted in his seat. “I was in Ontario.”

“What about when we got to Georgetown, after rehab?”

“New York.”

“Between her getting to rehab and her leaving?” Max continued. “She was there for two months, and nobody visited her for the first three weeks. Where were you then?”

Derek sighed. “I travel a lot, Max. I don’t remember every-”

“Does your wife go with you?”

“Most times.”

Max raised an eyebrow. “You’re seeing the pattern here, right? You can’t support your daughter if you’re not actually there for her. Can you tell me the name of her NA sponsor?”

“... I remember that it started with an S,” he admitted.

“We talked for five minutes about her lack of table manners.”

“I was a little distracted, Max.”

She pursed her lips. “It’s Steph. But if you’re as invested in Victoria’s recovery as you claim to be, it shouldn’t have taken you six weeks to learn the name.”

Derek didn’t reply, as he dropped his gaze into the cup of forgotten coffee.

“An important part of sobriety is repairing relationships that people damaged when they were on drugs,” Max told him. “I’m trying to get Victoria to realize that she wasn’t exactly a perfect daughter, which isn’t easy, considering that she’s spent most of her life believing that her shit didn’t stink. The fact that you guys didn’t start fighting at the dinner table last night showed that we’re making progress. But she isn’t the only one who’s made mistakes, Derek. You and your wife need to meet her halfway.”

Max took a breath. “She noticed, by the way, that you guys had the penthouse locked down while we were there. And she was pretty devastated. You put the idea in her mind that she’ll never get your trust back, ever again.”

That seemed to hit home, as Derek adopted an expression like he’d been punched in the gut. He sighed after a few seconds. “I didn’t mean to imply that we didn’t have any faith in her at all.”

“Well, unsurprisingly, that’s how she took it.”

“How can I fix it?” Derek asked. “I can restore her access to our discretionary account in-”

“She doesn’t need your money,” Max interrupted. “I already have your corporate card. And she hasn’t earned that level of trust yet.” She paused. “But a small acknowledgement would go a long way. Something that says you have faith in her commitment to sobriety.”

“Such as?”

* * *

Max was sitting on the couch when Victoria came home.

After Brad had brought her back, she’d started trying to figure out how she was going to deal with Victoria. She’d started rehearsing conversations in her mind, and working on what to say.

When the blonde came through the door, all of it left her head.

Victoria had a cautious look on her face as she laid eyes on Max, shutting the door behind her slowly. “... hey,” she greeted the brunette quietly.

“Hi.” Max paused. “... how was your shift?”

“Uneventful.”

“Cool.”

“Yea.” Victoria dropped her purse on the coffee table, then turned to face Max. “Um... can we-”

“I had lunch with your dad today,” Max blurted out.

Victoria blinked at the interruption. And the statement. She sat down beside Max with a bewildered expression. “You did?”

“He had someone bring me to that Greek restaurant, near Pike Place.”

“Not dressed like that, I hope.”

Max shrugged. “They became a lot looser with their dress code when they found out who I was there to see.”

“Yea, I bet.” Victoria hesitated. “What did he want? To critique my behavior over dinner?”

“You were discussed.” Max paused. “And I got a ten-minute history of your family.”

“Great-great-grandpa Samuel, bootlegger-turned-tycoon?”

“You know the story?”

“It’s my family, Max. I know where our money came from. Plus, it is a really cool story.”

“It was.” Max nodded in agreement. “Until he got to your grandfather, Franklin. Then it became a little depressing.”

“Really?”

“You don’t know about him?”

“My dad doesn’t like to talk about his father,” Victoria admitted. “I know he died a little after I was born. And that by all accounts, he makes my dad look like a saint. How did he come up?”

“Well...” Max hesitated. “It occurred to me last night, that I may have been a little biased when it came to your family dynamic.”

“How?”

“I know I’ve been giving you a lot of crap about not being the greatest kid,” Max explained. “But… well, your parents aren’t exactly the definition of stellar. Full disclosure, I gave your dad some very frank opinions about how good of a job he did as a father.”

Both of Victoria’s eyebrows arched. “... and yet, you’re still alive.”

“Yes, I’m getting the feeling that very few people are as blunt to your father as I am. Anyway, we had a discussion about how he could do better. And he agreed that you’ve shown an incredible amount of improvement, and that he is very proud of how far you’ve come.”

Max reached for the ground beside her, producing a yellow bag with the words Best Buy on the side. She pushed it across the table towards Victoria. “He asked me to get this for you. As a sign that he does believe that you’ve changed, and he has faith that you’re committed to getting better.”

Victoria looked over the bag carefully. “Didn’t want to give it to me himself?”

“Like I’ve said, Victoria, small progress is still progress.”

The blonde still looked hesitant, as she pulled the bag towards her and opened it. She looked back at Max after a few seconds. “... it’s a camera.”

Max nodded as Victoria pulled out the box. “Yes, it is. I mentioned that you were going to need one for your classes eventually, and that you might want one to practice with.”

“I don’t think I’ve actually taken a picture since Blackwell.”

“Your phone has a camera.”

“I mean a real picture, not a dumb selfie or something,” Victoria clarified, as she looked over the specifications on the side of the box. “Shit, Max, this thing isn’t cheap.”

“A few hundred bucks,” Max confirmed.

“... you’re sure you guys want me to have this?” Victoria looked at her warily. “You’re not worried that I’ll pawn it tomorrow?”

Max smirked. “Are you?”

“No.”

“Like I’ve said, Victoria, trust takes time to earn back.” Max shrugged. “But after everything you’ve done, your father and I agreed that you’ve earned a little bit. At least enough that we don’t think you’ll pawn it for drug money.”

The blonde bit her lip, as she looked back at the camera box. “... thanks,” she finally muttered. “I appreciate the vote of confidence.”

“You’re welcome.” Max smiled. “So, what do you-”

“Can we talk about last night?”

Max’s heart skipped a beat. _Right. That._

She exhaled slowly, as she glanced at her lap. “... I don’t know if we should.”

“Max-”

“I’m your Sober Companion, Victoria. What happened is...” her voice trailed off as she couldn’t decide what to say. “I’m... we’re not supposed to... do what we... did.”

“... yea.” Victoria glanced at her lap. “Sorry. I, uh... I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Why did you?” Max asked, before she could stop herself.

“I...” Victoria squirmed. “I’m not sure.”

“You’re not sure?”

Victoria sighed heavily. “I guess... look, I was feeling really, really worthless. I was thinking, in my messed-up mind, that my parents really had totally lost faith in me. And then... I don’t know. You actually convinced me that I was worth something.” She glanced back up at Max. “I don’t remember the last time someone actually told me that I wasn’t a useless piece of garbage.”

“Of course you’re not,” Max assured her gently. “Come on, Victoria, I’ve told you that before.”

“I know. And I know that Kate’s told me that, too.” Victoria sighed again. “I just really needed to hear it, last night.”

Max nodded silently, not knowing what else to do.

“... are you mad at me?”

“No.”

“Okay.” Victoria paused. “... can we pretend that it didn’t happen?”

“I think we should.”

“Good.” She leaned back into the couch. “So, we can act less awkward, right?”

Max smirked. “Yea.”

“Cool.” Victoria looked back at the camera in her lap. “Okay, I don’t want to ignore you, but I also really want to play with this.”

“I figured you would.” Max rocked back and stood up. “I’ll start dinner.”


	24. Stairs

**Oct 25th, 2019**

**Days Sober: 145 **

Victoria wasn’t sure how much she liked getting comfortable with her job.

When she’d first started at the restaurant, she’d hated everything about it. Especially the amount of walking she had to do; her feet felt like they were about to fall off at the end of every shift. But as the weeks went on, she found herself getting used to the walking. And she got really good at balancing a tray full of food with one hand, as well as memorizing lists of ingredients and menus.

Max had even said, after her and Steph ate dinner in Victoria’s section, that she was a natural.

The urge to “accidentally” dump her sober companion’s soda into her lap had been strong that night.

But she did appreciate that the job was getting easier. She felt like, after almost three months, she was on par with the waitresses that had been there for a couple of years. Victoria was breezing through the dining room quickly, dropping off refreshed drinks and getting people’s dinner orders before heading back to the terminal, smoothly picking up a couple’s signed receipt without looking.

“Table fourteen up!” Angelo called as Victoria got back into the kitchen, and he started laying out dishes. “Clam linguini, shrimp scampi, spaghetti and meatballs!”

“Good timing,” Victoria mentioned as she started placing them on her tray. “Where’s table twelve? They’re getting antsy.”

“Three minutes,” he told her. “Probably by the time you get back.”

Victoria nodded as she lifted the tray with one arm, balancing it carefully as she left the kitchen, side-stepping to avoid another waitress. She made her way up a small set of stairs into the dining area, immediately turning to face the table. “Okay, here we go,” she informed the family, two parents plus a girl who didn’t look older than five. “Clam linguini for Dad, shrimp scampi for Mom, and spaghetti and meatballs for the birthday girl.”

“What do you say, Jaime?” the girl’s mother coached, as Victoria placed the food in front of her.

“Thank you!” the girl exclaimed sweetly.

“You are so welcome!” Victoria smiled as she tucked the tray under her arm. “Now, how old are you turning again?”

“I’m five!” she stated proudly, holding up a hand with spread fingers.

“Five?!” Victoria gasped, putting a hand to her chest. “No way! You’re too big to be five. You gotta be seven or eight by now!”

“Nu-uh!” Jaime showed her fingers again. “Five!”

“Well, if you say so.” Victoria glanced at the parents. “Now, there MAY be some birthday cupcakes in the kitchen...”

They both smiled and nodded, as Jaime’s eyes got big. “Chocolate?”

“Is that your favorite?”

“Yea!”

“Well, I’m sure your parents would rather you finish your dinner first.”

Jaime immediately started digging into her spaghetti. “Thank you,” her father said warmly.

“Of course. Can I get you guys anything else?”

“No, we’re fine for now.”

Victoria smiled again and headed back to the kitchen. “Table twelve,” Angelo announced, as he put two more plates down. “Pork scaloppini and sausage lasagna.”

“Thanks.” She set her tray down. “Hey, I’m gonna need one of those birthday cupcakes for table fourteen in about ten minutes. One of the chocolate ones.”

Angelo nodded distractedly. “How old’s the kid?”

“Five.”

“Alright, I’ll take care of it.”

* * *

It was ready when she came back eleven minutes later, a yellow number five drawn in icing on top. Angelo used a lighter to ignite the candle before Victoria took it. “Birthday song,” she mentioned to the manager as she passed him. “Table fourteen.”

“Okay.” He nodded. “I’ll gather the others, we’ll be there in a couple of minutes.”

She made her way back up the stairs. A smile broke out over Jaime’s face, and she squealed as Victoria put the cupcake down in front of her. “Yay!” she cheered, as her parents laughed.

“Don’t blow it out yet,” Victoria said quickly. “We have to sing the birthday-”

“I will NOT stand for this!!”

Victoria, as well as the surrounding diners glanced at the outburst. It wasn’t part of her section, thankfully, but the table was directly behind her. The two men and a woman at the table were in business attire, food in front of them. On one side of the table, the woman and one of the men tried to placate the other man. “John, this is not the place,” the woman was telling him.

“I had to bust my ass to make that merger happen!” The man’s face was red as he leaned forward, clearly pissed. “I deserve that promotion! Rebecca’s not stealing it from me!”

“Her billable hours were triple yours,” the man told him. “John, you need to sit down and-”

“I secured this firm’s fucking future!” he snapped. “All Rebecca does is meet clients and look good in a skirt!”

“I’m sorry, excuse me,” Victoria said to the table, as the mother covered Jaime’s ears. She turned and stepped over to the group. “Sir, you need to lower your voice, and stop sw-”

“Is this Phil’s call?!” The man ignored her as he stood. “I know he’s still at the office. I’m not going to-”

“John!” the woman exclaimed. “Sit down and lower your voice! This is not the place to have this-”

“No, I’m dealing with this now! That bitch is not stealing my promotion!”

“Sir!” Victoria said sharply as the man grabbed his jacket from the seat next to him. “There are children here! You need to stop swearing and-”

She didn’t see it coming. Or anticipate it. John, clearly still angry, shoved his way out of the seat. And despite her attempts to get his attention, Victoria failed to have it.

Or she did, and the man simply didn’t care.

In either case, as he pushed his way out of the chair and turned for the exit, he wound up bodily checking into her. Victoria was knocked backwards, her feet stumbling to catch up, and fell right over the top of the stairs. Her left shoulder hit the handrail as she fell, spinning her body so that she landed, hard, directly on her right shoulder.

The first thing she felt was a pop. Then a spike of blinding, white-hot pain that stabbed straight into her shoulder.

“AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!” Victoria shrieked, rolling on the floor as she clutched her arm, completely forgetting where she was; the entirety of her world was the pain in her shoulder, and she screwed her eyes closed against it. She screamed until she was out of breath, but her mouth stayed open as she continued to scream silently, unable to draw a new breath.

She was hardly paying attention, but the restaurant around her was exploding in noise. She heard a few people yelling, including someone she thought might have been her manager. But she didn’t react, as she struggled to breath.

“Victoria!” Another one of the waitresses was calling her name. “Victoria, are you-”

She felt a hand grab her shoulder. The pain, which she thought couldn’t get any worse, almost tripled. It was enough of a shock to get her breathing again. “OWOWOWOW!!” she screamed, shoving the hand off her. “DON’TTOUCHME!!"

“Move, move! Let me through!”

“Sir! Please stay in your-”

“It’s okay, I’m a doctor! Let me see!”

Victoria was sobbing, tears leaking down her face as she cried in agony. It was more pain than she’d ever felt, even more than her overdose. A gentle hand took her other shoulder, and she gasped as someone pulled her slowly upright.

She finally managed to peel her tear-filled eyes open. Jaime’s father knelt next to her, supporting her back with one hand. Victoria clutched her right forearm as he studied her arm intently, then used his free hand to lightly feel her shoulder.

“Ow,” she gasped, still sobbing as the pain spiked.

Her manager knelt on her other side. “Is she okay?”

“She’ll be fine. But her shoulder’s dislocated.” The doctor moved her left arm so that Victoria was cradling her right hand; the pain alleviated somewhat, though she was still crying. “She needs to go to the hospital.”

“I’ll call an ambulance.”

* * *

The paramedics arrived quickly, though Victoria hardly noticed; she was focusing on holding her arm in place, so her shoulder hurt less. They brought the stretcher inside, and the doctor helped them carefully move Victoria onto it. She was taken to the ambulance, and after a short ride she found herself at the nearby emergency room.

The nurses immediately placed the injured arm in a sling. It helped with the pain tremendously, to the point where she stopped crying. But burning pain still emanated from her shoulder, as they leaned her back on the bed.

“Just try to breath normally,” the nurse told her. “The doctor will be with you as soon as he’s free.”

Victoria nodded as the curtains were closed, not trusting herself to open her mouth. The pain seemed to throb with her heartbeat, as she closed her eyes and tried to will it away.

It didn’t work. She grit her teeth and tried not to count the seconds, taking deep breaths.

She wasn’t sure how much time passed before she heard footsteps run up, and the curtains were thrown back open. “Victoria?”

Her eyes opened. “Max?” she asked incredulously, as her sober companion breathed heavily above her. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m your emergency contact, remember? Your manager called me.” Max went to her bedside, grabbing the rail as she looked her over. “What the hell happened to you?”

Victoria winced as her shoulder throbbed again. “Some... fucking asshole knocked me down the stairs,” she muttered through her grimace. “There was a doctor there. He said I dislocated my shoulder.”

“Jesus.” Max exhaled, her breathing slowing down. “Are you okay?”

“Yea. No. Definitely not.” Victoria took a deep breath and let it out. “Ouch.”

“What?”

“Hurts like a motherfucker.”

“I bet it does.” Victoria glanced over Max’s shoulder to see Jaime’s father appear, blue gloves on his hands as he slid the curtains closed. “Sorry it took so long.”

“I...” Victoria blinked. “No. No, you shouldn’t be here. It’s your daughter’s birthday.”

“Well, Jaime was rather upset after you fell. She was very insistent that I go make sure the nice waitress was okay.” He walked around the bed, opposite Max. “Besides, we’re short-staffed at night, so your other option is to wait thirty minutes for a doctor to free up.”

Victoria bit her lip. “Well, when you put it like that...”

He smirked as he took Victoria’s arm. Even though he maneuvered it gently, she grunted with pain. “Definitely dislocated,” he affirmed. The curtain slid open again, and the nurse appeared, pushing a cart in front of her. “Perfect timing. Let’s see how quickly we can get this taken care of.”

“You can fix it here?” Max asked.

He frowned. “I’m sorry, who are you?”

“Max. Her roommate.”

“Ah. Yes, I can reset it right here.” He took a needle from the cart, and the nurse handed him a bottle of clear liquid. “We’ll just give her a little something for the pain, and then I can-”

“Wait, what?” Victoria looked at the bottle, a look of alarm coming over her face. “For the pain? What is that?”

“Demerol.” He inserted the needle and began pulling the plunger. “It’ll kick in quickly, and-”

“No.” Victoria shook her head. “No, no, no. I can’t have that.”

He frowned. “Are you allergic?”

“No.” She shook her head again, wincing as she felt the action in her shoulder. “I can’t have painkillers. No drugs.”

“I’m sorry, why not?”

“Victoria,” Max started, “you’re in pain. It’s not a big deal if you-”

“No painkillers.”

“Seriously, Victoria-”

She shot Max a look. “I’m a week away from my five-month chip,” she reminded her. “I can’t... I don’t want to lose it. I don’t want to start over.”

“It’s-”

“No drugs.” She looked back at the doctor. “I can handle it.”

“I don’t think you can, Victoria.” He had a look of concern on his face. “It’s going to be incredibly painful. Possibly worse than it was dislocating it.”

“I don’t care.” She exhaled slowly. “Do what you have to do.”

* * *

It was bearable. For two seconds.

As soon as her doctor put more pressure on her shoulder, she cried out in pain, and he stopped. “Victoria, we really-”

“Keep going!” she exclaimed, her eyes squeezed shut. She could feel the veins on her neck popping out as clenched her teeth.

He did as she asked, and she cried out even louder. On the other side, a nurse held her as steady as possible, though it didn’t feel very effective.

After a few more agonizing seconds, the doctor stopped, and Victoria started gasping for air. She opened her eyes, blinking against the newly formed tears. “If you want to do it like this, Victoria, then you need to try to relax,” he ordered her. “I can’t reset your shoulder if you’re tensing the muscles. I know it’s hard, but you have to relax.”

“Okay.” She sniffed, taking another breath. “Okay. Do it.”

She tried. But the pain was blinding. She alternated between gritting her teeth so hard that she felt like her jaw was about to break, and crying out in pain as the doctor torqued and pulled on her arm.

After several seconds, she couldn’t bear any more. “Stop! Stop!” she sobbed.

He let go, placing her arm back on her chest. Victoria gripped it tightly as she gasped for air, tears streaming from her eyes.

“Victoria, this isn’t working,” he told her. “You’re tensing too much. I can’t fix it when you’re in this much pain. We have to medicate you.”

“No.” She shook her head again. “No drugs.”

“It’s not an option, Victoria.”

“I can’t,” she sobbed. “I can’t, I’m so close to my-”

Max pulled the curtains back, a phone to her ear. She took it away and tapped the screen. “Okay, you’re on speaker.”

“_Victoria?_”

She blinked. “... Steph?”

“_Victoria, quit being a fucking idiot,_” her sponsor told her. “_Let your doctor give you the shot._”

“No,” Victoria gasped. “It’s Demerol, Steph, I can’t-”

“_Yes, you can._”

“But I’m supposed to get my five-month token next week!”

“_Your sobriety doesn’t reset when you get medically ordered to take pain medication,_” Steph retorted. “_Nobody in NA would see a doctor if it did. You think Charlie would refuse pain meds if he was getting surgery?_”

“It... but-”

“_No fucking arguing,_” Steph snapped. “_I could hear you screaming through the phone. Take the shot of guilt-free Demerol, enjoy it, and then go get your chip next week. Or I swear to God I’ll come down there and dislocate your other shoulder._”

Victoria licked her lips and swallowed, sniffling. She glanced back at the doctor. “... okay,” she said in a small voice.

He looked extremely relieved, as he picked up and uncapped the needle. “You’ll feel a lot better in a few minutes,” he assured her, as he stuck it in her arm. “Just relax.”

She tried not to cringe as he depressed the plunger.

* * *

It wasn’t quite the same as it was before, when she popped the occasional opiate.

_Probably because of the actual pain,_ she figured, as she breathed normally. Her head still swam, and there was still a mild hint of the euphoria she used to crave. But she was very aware of the sensation in her newly-reset shoulder, as she relaxed into the bed.

“Feel better?”

She opened one eye and saw Max standing over her. “Yea,” she muttered. “Just trying not to feel too guilty.”

“Don’t be. You weren’t going to get better without it.”

“I know.” She sighed as she closed her eyes. “Sorry for being an idiot.”

Max smirked. “Apology accepted.”

The doctor came back a couple of minutes later holding a brown paper bag. “How do we feel?”

“Good.” Victoria opened her eyes. “Maybe a little loopy.”

“To be expected.” He placed the bag at her feet. “Normally I’d prescribe some strong painkillers, because your shoulder is going to hurt for a few days once the Demerol wears off. But given the circumstances, I’m giving you this instead."

She looked at the orange pill bottle he produced from the bag. “What’s that?”

“Naproxen. An anti-inflammatory and pain reliever. Non-addictive,” he added. “You need to take it at least twice a day. Not more than three times in twenty-four hours.”

Victoria accepted the pill bottle, eyeing it warily. Then she held it towards Max. “You should probably hang onto it.”

Max took the bottle without argument.

“The prescription information is in here.” He tapped the paper bag. “You’re free to go whenever you’re ready to walk.”

“Thank you.” Victoria bit her lip. “Um... if your kid asks how I did, can you leave out the part where I was stupid?”

He smirked. “My lips are sealed.”

* * *

By the time Max got Victoria through the door of their condo, it was almost one in the morning.

“Christ, I’m tired,” she muttered, as she stepped inside and promptly leaned her uninjured shoulder against the wall.

“I bet.” Max locked the door behind them. “I’ll call your manager when the restaurant opens, and make sure you get taken off the schedule for a few days. So you can turn off your alarm and sleep in.”

“Sounds good to me.” Victoria pushed herself back upright and made her way towards her bedroom. “’Night.”

Max watched her shut the door, then headed for her room; she was tired, too. She set a notification on her phone, to call the restaurant when they opened, then changed into her PJs.

She was about to get into bed when she heard Victoria call through the wall. “Max?”

“Yea?”

“I need your help.”

Max made her way to Victoria’s bedroom and opened the door to the blonde sitting on the edge of her bed. She’d changed from her slacks into sweatpants, but was still wearing her blouse.

Though all the buttons were undone, and she was holding it closed with her good hand. The arm that had been in the sling hung loosely at her side.

“I can’t get my shirt off,” she explained. “Can you please help me? It was hard enough to put on sweatpants.”

Max nodded. “Sure.”

She gently helped Victoria out of the shirt, the blonde wincing as Max pulled her injured shoulder out of it. The garment was tossed towards the laundry basket in the corner, and Max picked up the t-shirt beside Victoria.

“Um...” Victoria hesitated. “I, uh... I’ve been wearing this bra all day. I don’t really want to wear it while I sleep.”

“... oh.” Max tried to keep from blushing. “Okay. Um... turn around.”

Victoria did so, turning as much as she could. Max worked the hooks on her back, finally unstrapping it, and worked it off Victoria’s shoulders. The bra followed the blouse into the laundry basket.

“No peeking,” Victoria joked in a tired voice.

Max snorted. “At what?” she said dryly, trying to sound nonchalant.

“Ouch.” Victoria glanced over her shoulder. “You’re one to talk.”

“You started it.” Max picked the t-shirt back up and pulled it over Victoria’s head. The blonde worked her good arm through the arm hole, then maneuvered her hurt arm through the other one as Max held the shirt open.

“Thanks,” Victoria muttered as she re-slung her arm. “Appreciate the lack of molestation.”

“Yea. No problem.” Max stood. “Get some sleep.”

“Sure thing.”

Max left, closing the door softly behind her. Pretending fiercely that she hadn’t seen anything she wasn’t supposed to.


	25. Breakfast

**Oct 26th, 2019**

“You need to update your number.”

Victoria blinked as she stepped out of her bedroom, then glanced at the dry-erase board. “Oh. Well, I was a little out of it last night.”

“I know. I’m not giving you grief for it.” Max smirked over her shoulder as she worked the skillet, making scrambled eggs. “Just reminding you.”

“Right.” Victoria wiped the board clean, then picked up the marker, using her teeth to un-cap it and write the new number.

**Days Sober: 146 **

“There.” She re-capped it and put it back in the clip. “Did you call the restaurant?”

“I did. You’re off the schedule for the next couple of weeks. And your manager wanted me to let you know that the guy who pushed you down the stairs was told to never come back.”

“Sucks to be him.” Victoria shook her head. “I’m gonna sit on the couch. I’m still tired.”

“You could’ve slept in a little more.”

“Yea, but I’m hungry, too.”

Max snorted in amusement. “Well, I’m putting your breakfast in burrito form. Figured you’d prefer something you could eat with one hand.”

“Thank you.” Victoria wandered over the couch, plopping down and using her free hand to kick up the footrest. She winced as she bumped her shoulder. “Ouch.”

“Oh. Right.” Max reached over the dug the bottle of pills from her purse. “Time for your meds.”

“I don’t want one.”

Max looked at her crossly as she opened the bottle and tapped out a pill. “You’re getting one.”

“I don’t need it. My shoulder doesn’t hurt that much.”

“It’s not just a painkiller, Victoria. It’s an anti-inflammatory, too. Which means that you do need it.” Max filled a glass of water from the sink and walked over, handing her the pill and the glass. “Take it. Now.”

Victoria scrunched her face, but obliged, popping the pill and downing it with water.

“Good.” Max went back to the stove. “Breakfast will be done in a few minutes.”

“Cool.” Victoria leaned back in her seat, retrieving one of the throw pillows and sticking it under her sling. She tried to control her breathing and let the medication do it’s work.

A brief knocking at the door drew her attention. “If that’s Steph, tell her to fuck off,” she muttered.

“I will not.” Max scooped the eggs into a bowl before she went to check the door. “I’m sure she wants to make sure you’re okay.”

“She can do it this afternoon. I’m still tired.”

Max smirked as she checked the peephole. She pulled back, blinking. “... hmm.”

“What?”

The brunette unlocked the door, opening it for their visitor. “Hey, Derek.”

Victoria’s eyes popped open as she swiveled her head, seeing her father in the entryway. Wearing a look of concern on his face; something she wasn’t used to seeing. “Dad?” she asked incredulously as he stopped inside, her mother following him. “Mom?”

“Victoria!” He looked at her anxiously. “Are you okay?”

“I’m... uf.” She grunted as she pushed herself upright. “I’m fine. What are you guys doing here?”

“Max sent us an email last night, that you were in the hospital,” Mary explained worriedly, as she hurried towards the couch and sat down. She immediately clutched Victoria’s good hand and squeezed. “We were just coming back from Tokyo, and got the message when we landed. We came straight here.”

“What happened?” Derek asked. “Why is your arm in a sling?”

Victoria sighed. “Some asshole at the restaurant body-checked me down the stairs by accident,” she explained quietly. “I landed on my shoulder. The doctor said it got dislocated. They gave me the sling at the ER.”

Mary winced. “How long do you have to wear it?”

“Until it feels better. Couple of weeks, he said.”

“Are you in pain? Does it hurt too much?”

“No.”

“Yes, it does,” Max corrected. “You’re not Iron Man. It’s okay to admit that it hurts.”

Victoria shot her a look. “I don’t need your help.”

Her father ignored her as turned to Max. “Did they give her something at the hospital?”

“A shot of Demerol, to relax her so they could reset it.” Max nodded. “And some very mild painkillers, which I have in my purse.”

Derek sighed, looking back at Victoria. “You’re sure you’re okay, sweetie?”

“I’m fine,” Victoria muttered. “It’s... Max said that the shot doesn’t count. I'm still a hundred and forty-six days sober.”

“Because it was ordered by a doctor.” Derek nodded. “Sobriety only ends if you take the drugs for the purpose of getting high.”

Victoria blinked. “... how did you know that?”

“Max gave us a book about addiction,” Mary told her. “Your father and I have both been reading it.”

“You have?”

She nodded.

“Oh.” Victoria leaned back slowly. “Cool.”

Max finished wrapping the burrito and brought it over. “Here you go,” she said as she sat it down on Victoria’s lap, then looked at her parents. “Have either of you had breakfast yet?”

Derek shook his head. “We came straight from the plane.”

“Would you like some eggs?”

Him and his wife traded glances. “We are pretty hungry,” Mary admitted. “If it’s not too much trouble...”

“No trouble. I’m already cooking.” Max smiled as she pulled the carton of eggs back out. “It might not be ‘personal chef’ quality, though.”

Derek smirked. “Despite appearances, Max, we try not to be too pretentious.”

Victoria hummed in amusement as she picked up her burrito with one hand. Her mother picked up the plate behind her. “What- Mom, what are you doing?”

“Making sure it doesn’t spill out the back and onto your lap.”

“Put that down.” Victoria looked at her in exasperation. “I’m not invalid, I can still feed myself without making a mess.”

“I’m just trying to help, sweetie.”

“I don’t need it. Please stop.”

Mary sighed as put the plate back as Victoria bit into her burrito. As she did so, several morsels of eggs were pushed out the back, splattering all over her shirt and lap. She glanced down at the mess silently.

“... I suppose that was predictable,” she mumbled around the food in her mouth.

Her mother chuckled as she held out the plate for Victoria to put her burrito on. “Max, dear, we’re going to need some paper towels.”

* * *

“You sold yourself short, Max,” Derek complimented as he sat at the table, eating another forkful of eggs. “These are very good. What did you put on them?”

“Garlic salt.” Max shrugged. “I picked it up from my dad. He seasons everything with it.”

“I can see why.”

“Sorry it’s not very cultured.”

Derek snorted. “Really, Max, I can appreciate all palates.”

“Yes, thank you very much,” Mary agreed as she ate from her seat next to Victoria. “You two have really settled in here. How do you like it?”

“It’s nice.” Max nodded as she finished dishing out her own plate from the skillet. “Definitely a step up from my apartment in Oregon. I had to use communal washers and dryers in my old building.”

Derek winced. “God, I’m sorry.”

“Me too.” Max glanced over at the couch. “You need anything, Victoria?”

“No.” Victoria looked at her father. “How was Japan?”

“Productive.” He nodded. “I was putting the finishing touches on a contract to purchase the distributor that handles export business for Sony.”

The blonde raised her eyebrows. “Sounds lucrative.”

“It has the potential to be.”

“Sounds expensive, too.”

Derek smirked. “Very much so. But we’ll be pursuing an aggressive expansion plan, so hopefully-”

A rapid-fire pounding at the door interrupted him, like a jackhammer against the wood frame. “MAX!!” A voice yelled from the other side. “Let me in!! I need to break Victoria’s other arm for waking my ass up!!”

“Oh, good.” Max sighed as she glanced at Victoria. “Your sponsor’s here.”

“I’ll get it.” Derek rose and made his way to the door, opening it for the visitor.

Steph stared at him blankly, then glanced back down the hallway. “Um... did I knock on the wrong door?”

“No.” Derek cracked a smile. “You must be Steph.”

“Ah.” She looked him up and down. “And you must be...”

“Derek.” He extended his hand. “Victoria’s father.”

“... so you are.” Steph took the offered handshake. “Nice to meet you.”

“You, too. Why did my daughter wake you up?”

Steph glared at the blonde on the couch. “For something that was ENTIRELY avoidable.”

Victoria sighed. “I’m sorry, Steph.”

“Not yet, you’re not.” Steph walked inside, folding her arms. “Do you have any idea how rare it is for me to go to sleep before nine o’clock at night? It was the first day in weeks that I wasn’t up until midnight filling commissions. But no, apparently I can’t have anything nice, because I’ve got Max calling me on account of you being a stubborn moron.”

“I said I was sorry.”

Derek frowned. “What did she do?”

Steph didn’t stop glaring Victoria as she answered. “Your kid tried to get her shoulder re-inserted without painkillers.”

“What?!” Mary gasped. “Victoria!”

“I wasn’t- I didn’t-” She hesitated, sighing. “Look, I know I was stupid, alright? I just didn’t want to throw away my progress. I thought I could handle it.”

“Tell it to the nurses you probably deafened,” Steph retorted.

“Are you still in pain?” Derek asked. “I dislocated my shoulder playing basketball in college, sweetie. It hurt for a few days.”

“I’m FINE,” Victoria stressed. “Max has my prescription for Naproxen. She forced me to take one this morning.”

“Are you sure?” Mary asked. “We can take you to see Doctor Greene today.”

“Yes, I’m sure.” Victoria looked at everyone. “I appreciate the concern. I’m sorry I was an idiot last night. But it was a real bitch to get here, and I didn’t want to throw all my progress away because some asshole couldn’t see where he was going, so I just…” she hesitated. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to do better.”

The four of them exchanged silent glances. Derek moved first, walking over and taking a seat on the coffee table. “Sweetie,” he started, “you have no idea how proud of you we are.”

Victoria blinked. “... really?”

“Yes.” He nodded. “I never imagined that we’d see you put this much effort into turning your life around. We are absolutely thrilled with your progress.”

“It’s only been a few months,” Victoria muttered.

“I know. But you’ve changed a lot.” He smiled as he reached out, gently patting and squeezing her leg. “I can’t tell you how happy we are.”

Victoria licked her lips and swallowed. “... thanks, Dad.”

Nobody spoke for a few seconds. Until Steph started sniffing the air, and turned to Max. “... are you cooking breakfast?”

Max sighed as she stood up. “I’ll make another plate.”

* * *

**Max:** Victoria just got a huge bouquet of flowers. And an edible arrangement.

**Max: **This seems like something you might’ve had a hand in.

**Derek:** Not directly. I imagine they’re from Stein/Reed and Associates?

**Max:** Yes. Who are they?

**Derek:** The firm that employed the lawyer who pushed Victoria down the stairs.

**Max:** I notice you used that word in the past tense.

**Derek:** The message I received from them this morning informed me that he’d been let go, as well as offering their sincerest regrets for what happened.

**Max:** They fired him? Really?

**Derek:** Likely a knee-jerk reaction, when they found out the woman he assaulted was my daughter. I don’t mean to brag, but I am somewhat of a prevalent figure in this city’s corporate scene.

**Max:** Hence the gifts. They’re trying to stay on your good side.

**Derek:** So it would appear. Are they nice flowers?

**Max:** Very. The arrangement was tasty, too.

**Derek:** I’ll have to send my appreciation back, then.

**Max:** Did you know this would happen?

**Derek:** I suspected. There are unwritten rules in the corporate world, when you start dealing at my level, and the penalties for breaking them are swift.

**Max:** So that guy won’t ever work again?

**Derek:** I’m sure he’ll find another job. He might just have difficulties finding one where he makes as much money.

**Max:** The corporate world sounds a little like Game of Thrones.

**Derek:** You’re not the first to make that observation.

**Max:** How true is it?

**Derek:** Maybe a little less “you win or you die” and more “you win or you may have to update your résumé”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas!!


	26. Six Months

**December 2nd, 2019**

**Days Sober: 183 **

“I was wondering if they were ever going to make it out.”

Max nodded, as she sipped her coffee. “I know. I think I’m finally starting to impress on them how much these milestones actually mean.”

Steph smirked as she watched Victoria converse with her parents following the latest NA meeting. Derek and Mary were both congratulating her as they passed their daughter’s new six-month token back and forth between them. “They seem happy for her, at least.”

“Well, it’s the six-month mark. Kind of a big deal.”

Beside them, Kate frowned as she rested a hand on her baby bump. “Why is that?”

“It’s kind of like getting over the hill,” Max explained. “When the goal is a full year to start, hitting the six-month milestone means that you’re halfway there. And it gets you in the mindset that you might actually be able to do it.”

“Of course, you want to keep going,” Steph added. “But the first year’s the hard one.”

“Ah.” Kate nodded. “Makes sense.”

“It’s also when a lot of people actually start to believe you’re taking your sobriety seriously.” Steph looked back at Max. “Speaking of which, have you thought any more about that?”

“Yea. A lot.” Max scratched the back of her neck. “You think it might be time?”

“We don’t lose anything by trying.”

Kate frowned. “What are you guys talking about?”

The other two girls looked at her. “… know what? Maybe this should involve you too,” Steph mentioned. “Couldn’t hurt.”

“You don’t think that’s a little… much?” Max asked.

“Maybe.”

“Okay, seriously, what are you guys talking about?”

“Come on.” Max nodded towards the corner. “Let’s talk.”

* * *

**December 3rd, 2019**

**Days Sober:** **184 **

“We all ready?”

Steph and Kate both nodded, as they sat with Max. Victoria was scheduled to be at work for the evening, so they’d elected to meet in the condo.

“Okay.” Max bit her lip as she glanced at Kate. “If we’re really lucky, you’ll have made this trip for nothing.”

Kate nodded. “I know.”

“And hopefully we don’t need you to help at all,” she added. “I’m still worried that you being here might be a little too manipulative.”

“Let’s just see how it goes.”

She looked at Steph next. “You think this’ll work?”

“Based on my past experience?” She hesitated. “Honestly, anything could happen. But like I said, we don’t lose anything by trying.”

“Fair point.” Max looked down at her phone, sitting in the middle of the table. Taylor’s contact information was pulled up and ready to dial. “Any last thoughts?”

“Remember, we can’t force her into this,” Steph cautioned. “All we can do is tell her what’s been happening, and ask her to meet. But Victoria did a really bad thing, and we can’t blame Taylor if she doesn’t want to see her.”

“Right.” Max looked back at the phone. “Well... here’s hoping we don’t fuck up.”

With that sense of finality, she tapped on the Call button.

Kate and Steph leaned in as Max put the phone on speaker. She tried not to let her anxiety show as it rang once. Then twice.

“Maybe she’s at work,” Kate muttered as it rang a third time.

“It’s six PM.”

“Still, she is a-”

The line clicked, as the call connected, and Kate stopped talking.

“_... hello, Max._”

The brunette blinked in surprise. “Um... hey, Taylor.”

“_Been a while._”

“Yea.” She tilted her head. “… how’d you know it was me?”

“_Courtney gave me your number a few months ago._” She paused. “_And told me that I should block it._”

“Ah.” Max leaned back. “Thanks for, you know, not doing it.”

“_Well, I figured if you really wanted to get ahold of me, you’d find a way. Besides, Courtney isn’t the boss of me._”

“I, uh... guess that means you might know why I’m calling?”

“_Maybe._” Taylor sighed. “_Is it about Victoria?_”

“Yes.”

“_... is she dead?_”

“What?” Max blinked. “No. No, she’s not dead. Why would you think she was?”

“_I just figured that would be the next thing I heard about her._”

Max exhaled slowly, as she looked at Kate and Steph. “I... suppose that’s fair,” she allowed. “Given how she was last time you guys saw each other.”

“_What, robbing me of my dead mother’s necklace to pay for drugs?_”

“Yea.”

“_So you do know what happened._”

“Victoria told me.” Max leaned forward onto her elbows. “You have no idea how terrible she feels about that.”

“_Well, you know, it’s the last thing I have to remember my mother by, and my former best friend stole it to trade away for cocaine. I would hope she’d at least have the decency to feel a little guilty._”

“Taylor, she really does,” Max emphasized. “Victoria’s told me about all the awful things she’s done. But what she did to you and Courtney still keeps her up at night.”

The line was quiet for several seconds, before they finally heard a long sigh. “_Why did you call, Max?_”

“I was hoping I could ask you for a favor.” Max rubbed her palms together. “One that I know will be tempting to reject. But I really hope you’ll hear me out first.”

“_I’m not getting any younger, Max. Out with it._”

“I, uh…” Max licked her lips. “I wanted to see if you’d be willing to meet with Victoria. So that she could, uh, apologize for what she did. In person.”

There was a couple of seconds of silence, before Taylor scoffed. “_That’s rich,_” she remarked dryly. “_Let me guess, Victoria had you call because she didn’t want to do it herself? Too afraid of what I’d say to her?_”

“Victoria doesn’t know that I’m talking to you.”

“_Really? She’s not in the background, hanging onto every word while we talk?_”

“No.” Max shook her head. “She’s at work. I didn’t tell her that I’d be calling you today.”

“_... wait a minute. Where is she?_”

“At work. She has a waitress shift at the restaurant until eight.”

Shocked silence greeted that statement. “_I’m sorry, I think I got some static over the line or something,_” Taylor finally said. “_Victoria has a job? At a restaurant? As a WAITRESS? Like, the people who bring food to your table and act polite in exchange for tip money?_”

Max smirked. “That’s about how she describes it, too.”

“_I would accuse you of lying, but that concept is so outlandish that I don’t think you could come up with it on your own._”

“Look, Taylor... I know you’ve got every reason to hate Victoria,” Max admitted. “But she is clean. She actually just hit her six-month mark a couple of days ago. She goes to Narcotics Anonymous meetings twice a week. And she is completely torn up about what she did.”

“_Mm._” Taylor paused. “_Who’s there with you?_”

“I’m sorry?”

“_I can tell you’re on speaker. Which means that someone else is listening to us talk. If it’s really not Victoria, then who is it?_”

Max looked at Steph, who held her hands up silently. Then she glanced at Kate, noting the hesitant look on her face.

“... hi, Taylor,” she finally greeted.

“_Who’s this?_”

“It’s Kate Marsh.”

The call got quiet for several seconds. “_... fuck,_” Taylor eventually whispered.

“How are you?”

“_I’m... oh, Jesus,_” Taylor breathed. “_Kate, I’m so fucking sorry. For what we did, back at Blackwell._”

“It’s fine, Taylor.”

“_No, it’s not. And... it definitely shouldn’t have taken this long to tell you that._” Taylor paused. “_We had no idea that Nathan drugged you at that party. I swear, if I’d known that you weren’t drunk, I wouldn’t have laughed at you. Or helped Victoria post that video online._”

“I believe you.” Kate nodded. “That was a long time ago, Taylor. I’m over it.”

“_I’m not. I still feel like the world’s biggest bitch for what we did. And for not apologizing back then,_” she added. “_I just... between my part in what happened, and Victoria being persona non grata on campus, I didn’t think you’d want me even being near you. Never mind talking to you._”

“An apology would have been nice, back at Blackwell,” Kate agreed. “But it means a lot, to hear you say that. I really appreciate it.”

“_... thanks._”

“You’re welcome.”

“_Um... why are you with Max?_”

“She told me that she was going to ask you to consider letting Victoria apologize to you,” Kate answered. “I decided to come up and help.”

“_In case I told her no?_”

Kate bit her lip. “More like in case you didn’t believe her, about Victoria being clean.”

A sigh came through the line. “_Well, it’s kind of hard to believe._”

“I know. Especially after everything happened, and all the stories on Facebook.” Kate nodded. “But Max isn’t lying, Taylor. Victoria is off the drugs. I was there a couple of days ago, when she got her six-month sobriety token.”

“_Wait. Are you actually... helping her?_”

“I’m trying to.”

“_... Jesus Christ,_” Taylor muttered. “_You and Max are helping Victoria. You guys actually forgave her for the shit she pulled at Blackwell. And I just… abandoned her._” She sighed. “_Some fucking friend I am._”

Max leaned towards the phone. “Victoria didn’t want to get better back then, Taylor. You couldn’t have helped her.”

“_I still left her to the wolves,_” Taylor retorted. “_I… thought I heard a rumor that she overdosed. Is it true?_”

“Yes,” Max answered. “Her dealer sold her some bad drugs. They were mixed with something that gave her a heart attack.”

“_… fuck._”

“She’s better now,” Max quickly added. “She made a fully recovery. And she is putting so much effort into her sobriety, Taylor. It hasn’t been easy, but she’s really turned herself around. I think that if you agreed to meet her, you wouldn’t recognize the girl she is today.”

“_Really?_”

“Really. Like I said, though, I know that she did a shitty thing. And we’re not expecting anyone to forgive her. She just wants a chance to try and make things right.” Max paused. “I heard you work for Amazon now? Up here in Seattle?”

“_Yea. For their Marketing team._”

“Do you think you’d be open to meeting Victoria somewhere? Where she could try to make amends for what she did?”

Taylor fell silent. The others could her here breathing through the speaker for several seconds, as they waited for her answer.

Finally, she sighed. “_… okay._”

“You will?”

“_Yea. I’ll, uh… I’ll meet her._”

Max, Kate, and Steph all slumped in their seats, as they exchanged looks of relief. “Thank you, Taylor,” Kate said. “This will mean a lot to her. I know that she’ll appreciate it.”

“_Sure. I’m, uh, pretty busy the rest of the week, but if she’s free Saturday or Sunday, I’ll do it then._”

“I’ll text you when I figure out her schedule.”

“_And... have you talked to Courtney about this?_”

Max winced. “... last time I tried, she cursed me out. And said that she doesn’t want anything to do with Victoria.”

“_Well, she’s pretty mad at her, too._”

“I know. About the fight, and the broken nose.” Max nodded. “But last I heard, she lives in Oregon.”

“_Portland. But she comes up to Seattle all the time for work,_” Taylor explained. “_Her clothing sells through a lot of stores up here. We had dinner last weekend._”

“I didn’t know that.”

“_Yea. I’m... probably gonna mention this to her, if that’s alright._”

Max looked at the others. “Then I guess I can expect her to call and yell at me in a few minutes.”

“_Probably._” Taylor sighed again. “_Okay, I’m gonna go sit down or something. You’ll text me?_”

“Soon as I know something.”

“_Then I’ll talk to you later._”

* * *

“How long, do you think?”

Steph checked her watch, as she accepted the bottle of water from Max. “Well, figure a couple of minutes to call Courtney. Probably about ten or fifteen to hash it all out, then another couple of minutes to un-block your number from her phone. Maybe twenty minutes total.”

“So, any time now.” Max looked at Kate. “I feel a little bad. Like we might’ve used you to force her into agreeing to the meeting.”

Kate shrugged. “It wasn’t malicious,” she reminded her. “And I don’t think she was very angry, anyway.”

“You don’t think so?” Steph asked. “I mean, it was her mother’s necklace. I’d be pissed.”

“Well, I’m sure she was at the time,” Kate allowed. “But it’s been what, two years? And she knows Victoria was in a bad way, back then. I think once she found out that her friend was clean and off the drugs, she became a little more receptive. I think she would’ve agreed whether I was here or not.”

“Maybe. But Courtney was definitely still angry when I spoke to her a few months ago,” Max told her. “She also spent eighteen months putting up with her nonsense at UCLA. Taylor went to college in Oregon, so she wasn’t exposed to as much of the cocaine abuse as Courtney was.”

“That, and Victoria broke her nose,” Steph added. “I don’t care how long it’s been, that sort of thing sticks with you.”

“I bet.” Max checked her watch. “She might not call tonight. Taylor didn’t say when she’d be-”

Her phone rang on the table, interrupting them. “Oregon area code,” Steph mentioned as she checked the screen.

“Never mind, then.” Max braced herself as she answered the call. “Hey, Cour-”

“_You’re a manipulative little BITCH, you know that?!_”

She winced at the explosion of vitriol. “Courtney, I-”

“_You just can’t accept the word no, can you?! Figured the best way to get what you want is with a fucking guilt trip, and putting someone in a position where they have to say yes? I’ll bet you can’t even see how big of an asshole that makes you, but you probably don’t even give a shit because you got what you wanted, and FUCK everyone else, right?!_”

“I wasn’t trying to-”

“_Shut the fuck up. Is Kate still there?_”

Kate leaned forward. “Hi, Courtney.”

“_Hi, Kate._” Courtney took a deep breath. “_I’m sorry, too. For what we did, back at Blackwell, and for not apologizing to you until now. I don’t have any excuses, other than the fact that I was an asshole. I know that video is still online, and I would give anything to take it down._”

“Thank you.”

“Courtney,” Max said, “I swear, I wasn’t-”

“_When is this meeting with Victoria?_”

“... do you want to be there?”

“_Yes, I do. But let me be VERY clear, Max: I’m not going for Victoria, I’m going for Taylor. Because despite the fact that this will be the SECOND time that I’ve warned her about Victoria’s behavior, she seems to be under the impression that a leopard can change it’s spots._”

“Courtney, she really has-”

“_Yea, she ‘really has’ before. When is the fucking meeting?_”

“... I don’t know,” Max answered. “Sometime this weekend. I have to check Victoria’s work schedule.”

“_Christ, that really does sound like you’re making it up._”

“I’m not-”

“_Text me when you text Taylor. Have a good night, Kate._”

With that, the line disconnected.

Steph whistled. “And the gold medal for carrying a grudge goes to...”

“Yea, I know.” Max rubbed her face. “Well, I suppose this will be interesting, if nothing else.”

* * *

Victoria came back to the condo a couple of hours later.

Kate had left already, since it was a long drive back to her house in Tacoma. But Steph was still there. The two of them had been quietly conversing when Victoria unlocked the door. The blonde was still walking inside when she saw them together and froze.

“... shit,” she muttered. “This can’t be good.”

“Hey, Victoria.” Max nodded. “How was work?”

“Uneventful.” Victoria set her purse down and sighed heavily. “Why do I get the feeling that I’m not gonna like what I’m about to hear?”

“Will you sit?”

Victoria grudgingly dragged herself over to the couch, sitting down as Max and Steph stood. “What is it?” she asked tiredly.

Max inhaled slowly. “We spoke to Taylor tonight. And Courtney.”

The blonde blinked as she looked at her. “... you did?”

“We did.” Max nodded. “They agreed to meet with you this weekend.”

Victoria sat forward. “Wait, really?”

“Taylor was a lot more receptive that Courtney,” Steph said. “But yes.”

The blonde glanced between them, clearly at a loss for words. “... they actually agreed to meet me?” she asked. “I thought... I mean, Taylor was pretty... I didn’t think she’d ever want to see me again.”

“We told her how bad you felt about what happened.” Max paused. “Full disclosure, Kate was here, too.”

“She was?”

Max nodded. “She helped convince Taylor that you were a different person, and wanted to make things right.”

“I think we should clarify that Taylor hasn’t forgiven you,” Steph added. “This meeting isn’t about rebuilding a friendship, though that would be the ideal outcome. The primary point is for you to try to make amends for what you did.”

“Yea. I remember how the Steps work.” Victoria rubbed her face. “What about Courtney?”

Max and Steph traded glances. “Courtney is definitely still pissed at you,” Steph finally told her. “She made it clear that she’s only going to support Taylor, not for you.”

“But you should still try to apologize to her, too,” Max added.

“Right.” Victoria pinched the bridge of her nose, then poked it gently. “Is there any Naproxen left over from my shoulder?”

“No. Why?”

“Because if I’m gonna get my nose broken this weekend, I’d like to pregame.”

* * *

**Max:** Does Saturday work for you?

**Taylor:** Sure. When and where?

**Max:** How about noon? And there’s a park near here, I’ll send you the link.

**Taylor:** Okay. I’ll be there.

**Max:** Is Courtney coming?

**Taylor:** She’s driving up tomorrow. She’ll be there.

**Max:** Ok.

**Max:** I’m sorry if you feel like we manipulated you.

**Taylor:** What, you mean Kate?

**Max:** Yea. I didn’t mean to use her to guilt you into this.

**Taylor:** Well, I did kind of force her into the conversation. It’s mostly my fault.

**Max:** Regardless. I’m sorry.

**Taylor:** It’s fine. I’m not as salty about what happened as Courtney is.

**Max:** I honestly don’t know why you’re not.

**Taylor:** Don’t get me wrong, I’m still mad about what she did.

**Taylor:** But if she really is as eaten up as you say...

**Max:** You have no idea.

**Taylor:** I’ll hear her out. But I’m not going to promise any more than that.


	27. Meeting

**Dec 7th, 2019**

**Days Sober: 187 **

“This is it, huh?”

Taylor nodded as she parked her car. “This is the place.”

“Nice and public,” Courtney noted from the passenger seat, as she looked over the small park. There wasn’t much to it, though it did have a playground and a small pond. Several kids and their parents were walking around, though there was enough space that it wasn’t crowded. “She must think I won’t beat her ass if there are witnesses.”

“I’m getting the impression that Max is the one who’s setting this up, not Victoria,” Taylor reminded her. “Can we at least hear her out, before you start throwing punches?”

Courtney scoffed. “You really don’t learn, do you?”

“Look, man, if you’re gonna be negative about this-”

“I’m not negative, I’m realistic.” Courtney folded her arms. “She swore to me four times, at UCLA, that she would stop with the coke. And each time, she just got better at hiding it. I wouldn’t be shocked if she was tweaking when she walked up.”

“Max said-”

“I know what Max said.” Courtney sighed as she looked around. “I don’t see them.”

“We’re a little early,” Taylor reminded her as she killed the engine. “Come on, let’s sit at that table over there.”

They got out and took a short walk to the table, which sat by a couple of pine trees. “Least it’s a nice park,” Courtney admitted as she sat next to Taylor. “Reminds me of the one near my office.”

“The one where you guys do photo shoots at?”

Courtney nodded. “Not anytime soon, though. They’re doing renovations until next year."

Taylor frowned. “What kind of renovations do they do to a park?”

“They’re adding a baseball diamond. And they’re doing something to the pond, though I don’t know what. My boss thinks they’re stocking it with fish or something.” Courtney shrugged. “Whatever it is, it involves lots of unphotogenic heavy machinery.”

“Ah.” Taylor nodded. “Yea, that’ll ruin a shot.”

“No kidding. Now we have to go out of the city.” Courtney sighed heavily. “I hate the forest.”

“Why? It’s pretty down there.”

“Yea, but it’s a long drive, and there’s way bigger bugs. Plus it gets really cold, and I always forget to bring my-”

“Sup, ladies?”

The both swiveled their heads as a girl about their age walked up. She took a position across from them, sitting sideways on top of the table, one leg folded as she propped the other on the seat. “Who are you?” Courtney asked incredulously.

Taylor did a double take. “Steph?!”

“Hey, Taylor. Long time, no see.” Steph revealed a burrito in her hand. “You guys mind if I eat while we wait? I missed breakfast.”

Courtney glanced between Steph and Taylor, who stared with wide eyes and an open mouth. “You know her, Tay?”

“Yea, your friend and I go way back,” Steph mentioned casually. “When we were at Blackwell, I used to sell her bootleg DVDs of _Tenchi Muyo_.”

“What the hell is that?”

“An extremely underrated anime that Cartoon Network ruined with censorship. Luckily for Taylor here, I was able to find the uncut versions online. Including the episode where everyone visits the hot springs.” Steph smirked as she looked at Taylor, who had closed her mouth and was turning red. “Do you still have a massive crush on Ryoko?”

“Shut UP,” Taylor whispered fiercely.

“Hey man, no shame here.” Steph shrugged as she unwrapped the burrito. “Who among us has never diddled their skittle to a pair of cartoon boo-”

“What the hell are you doing here?” Courtney interrupted. “And WHY the hell are you here?”

Steph took a huge bite, chewing and swallowing quickly. “Max and I had a very frank discussion after your phone call,” she finally said. “We both had a concern that you, Courtney, might use this meeting as an opportunity to get some eye-for-an-eye justice on Victoria for your broken nose.”

Courtney folded her arms. “The desire had crossed my mind.”

“We figured.” Steph took another massive bite, swallowing after a few seconds. “Which is why I came early.”

“Jesus Christ, are you worried your food is going to grow legs and run away or something?”

“Meh. Anyway, I came early to make sure that there wouldn’t be any bloodshed.” Steph nodded. “We understand if you’re still pissed. And you have every right to be; we’re not going to tell you otherwise. But there will be no broken noses today.”

“Or else what?” Courtney replied mockingly.

Steph narrowed her eyes. “Fuck around and find out, princess. And you better hope you wore clean underwear.”

“... whatever,” Courtney scoffed. “She’s not worth the effort. And you still haven’t said how the hell this involves you.”

“I’m her sponsor,” Steph answered. “That’s how.”

“What does that mean?” Taylor asked. “Sponsor for what?”

“Narcotics Anonymous.”

“What’s that?”

“Like Alcoholics Anonymous, but for people with more discerning tastes. I help Victoria with her sobriety.”

“So between you and Max, it takes two people to keep Victoria off the blow?” Courtney asked snidely. “Or is it three people, with Kate?”

Steph glared at her. “Victoria does all the work herself,” she said evenly. “I’m here for support. That’s it.”

“What, in case I hurt her feelings?”

“Yes.”

The deadpan way Steph said that last word seemed to throw Courtney off her game.

“She should be here anytime now.” Steph shoved the last of her burrito into her mouth, chewing forcefully as she crumpled up the wrapper and tossed it into the nearby trash can. It took her several seconds to finish chewing before she swallowed. “Actually, that might be them.”

Taylor and Courtney turned to see a plain sedan pull into the lot.

* * *

“... shit. They’re actually here.”

Max raised an eyebrow as she turned off the car. “Did you think we were kidding?”

“No.” Victoria bit her lip. “I just wasn’t sure if they’d actually come. Given how pissed they both were at me.”

“Well, there they are.” Max looked at her. “How do you feel?”

“I don’t know.” Victoria dropped her gaze into her lap. “I’ve been trying to figure out what to say for the past three days. And it all just flew out of my head.”

Max nodded. “I think that once you start apologizing, it’ll come back to you.”

“I hope so.” Victoria looked back up and furrowed her eyebrows. “What’s Steph doing here?”

“She wanted to be here for you, too,” Max answered quickly. “And apparently, she actually knew Taylor, back at Blackwell. I think she wanted to catch up really quick.”

“Oh.” Victoria took a deep breath exhaling slowly. “Okay, then.”

“Ready?”

“Not really, no.”

With that, Victoria took the door handle, pushing out of the car. Max followed as the blonde slowly started making her way towards the table. She kept her arms crossed, partially against the fall chill, partially out of nervousness.

Taylor and Courtney watched her the whole way over. Taylor seemed to have a studious expression on her face, as she looked Victoria up and down. The other blonde seemed to be surprised at what she saw, likely due to the lack of designer clothing.

Or maybe the way Victoria was carrying herself. It was a far cry from how she strutted around at Blackwell.

Courtney, on the other hand, kept a very flat expression. It was easy to pick up the contention as the black-haired girl sat with arms folded, her gaze seeming to pierce into Victoria’s soul.

Max was right behind Victoria as she approached the table, stopping right before the seat as she tried to figure out what to say.

“... hey,” she muttered softly.

Taylor leaned back in her seat. “Hi.”

Courtney didn’t reply, as she pressed her lips tightly together.

“Well, we’re off to a great start,” Max stated. “Thank you both for coming. Victoria has a few things she’d like to say.”

Victoria nodded as she sat across from the other two girls carefully. Steph scooted over as Max sat next to her, though she kept her seat on top of the table.

“I, uh...” Victoria licked her lips and swallowed nervously. “I’m probably gonna say this a lot. But I’m sorry.” She inhaled slowly. “I’m so sorry. To both of you, for what I did.”

She glanced at Taylor. “I’m supposed to be making amends, for what I did to people I care about while I was high,” she added. “I’ve been trying to figure out how to do that for months. But I can’t...” she paused, as she bit her lip. “I... I don’t know what I could possibly do, to make what I did right.”

Taylor raised her eyebrows silently.

“I fucked up.” Victoria rubbed her eyes. “I can’t fix what I tried to do. Or take it back, though I wish every day I could. And I wouldn’t blame you if you never wanted to see me again.” She sniffed. “But Taylor, I swear, I am so fucking sorry.”

She looked at Courtney. “And Courtney... I can’t decide if what I did to you was worse or not.”

Her former roommate blinked, as her shoulders tensed.

“I know what I did to Taylor was heinous,” she clarified. “But you were actually trying to help. The only one who was, at the time. And I was too fucking stupid to accept it.”

Victoria reached into her pocket and withdrew an envelope. “I know this doesn’t begin to cover it. And I know it’s not going to make it better. But it would really mean a lot to me if you took this.”

Courtney frowned as Victoria set the envelope on the table. “What’s that?” she finally asked, breaking her silence.

“The money I stole from your purse, back at UCLA.”

“Oh. How nice of you.” Courtney flicked it back towards her. “If I wanted your family’s money, I would’ve accepted your father’s settlement.”

“It’s not her family’s money.” Max interjected before Victoria could say anything. “That’s Victoria’s money, that she earned at her job. Not one dollar of that cash came from her father.”

Courtney looked between Max and Victoria a few times, before slowly taking the envelope and opening it. Some of it looked freshly withdrawn from an ATM, but there was a fair amount of wrinkled tens and twenties. “... you really do have a job,” she stated.

Victoria nodded.

“As a waitress.”

She nodded again.

“If only the Vortex club could see you now.” Courtney dropped the envelope back on the table. “So, how long have you been off the coke?”

“One hundred and eighty-seven days.”

“No, for real.” Courtney leaned forward. “Including whatever lines you’ve been doing behind your friends’ backs.”

Max and Steph both bristled, but Victoria just averted her eyes. “Courtney, I swear that I’m done with it.”

“Yea, you said that a lot back at UCLA.” Courtney looked between Max and Steph. “Have you guys drug-tested her?”

“No,” Steph retorted. “NA is a support group, not a prison.”

“Then how the fuck do you know if she’s really clean?”

“And how do you know that she isn’t?!” Max snapped. “I have a degree in helping people get over their addictions. Last I checked, you have a degree in making pretty clothes. Who the fuck do you think you are to tell me how to do my job?”

Courtney’s face flushed. “Her goddamn ROOMMATE that spent a year and a half trying to get her to quit!”

“Yea? Great work. Bang-up job, really.”

“Hey, FUCK y-”

“STOP!!”

Taylor’s outburst surprised everyone as she grabbed Courtney’s arm.

“We get it, you’re pissed at her,” she continued. “Did you want her dead? Because that’s what almost happened.”

“That was her own damn-”

“She needed help, we fucking ditched her, and then she almost died,” Taylor countered. “We could’ve done something.”

Victoria took a shaky breath. “I didn’t want help, Taylor.”

“Yea, well, maybe we should’ve made you get it.” Taylor looked back at Victoria. “You’re right. I’m still mad at what you did. I don’t know if you can ever make up for it. But I never wanted to hear about you dying. And it kills me, that that’s why I thought Max was calling a few days ago.”

Max winced. “Taylor-”

“And the only people who’re actually willing to help you are Max and Kate,” Taylor continued. “Two of the girls you spent months bullying back at Blackwell, with more incentive than anyone to let you rot, have been more supportive than the two of us.” She glanced at the black-haired girl. “We were supposed to be her friends.”

“I WAS her friend!!” Courtney shot back. “I don't even know how many times I flushed her drugs down the toilet! Or stayed up past midnight, when I had classes the next day, to make sure she didn’t die in her sleep! And I got thanked by having my nose broken! I had to get it packed and wear a splint on my face for two weeks! Do you have any idea how painful that was?!”

She was interrupted by Victoria’s breath hitching. The others looked at her to see tears streaming down her face.

“I’m sorry,” she whimpered. “I’m so sorry, Courtney.” She sniffled as she looked up at her. “You were the friend I needed, and I pissed all over your help. I don’t deserve to know you. Either of you,” she added, glancing at Taylor. “I’m not stupid. I know you guys won’t forgive me for what I did. But I am just… so fucking sorry for everything I put you both through.”

Taylor had a look of concern on her face as Max placed a supportive hand on Victoria’s shoulder. Steph slid down into the seat on the other side. Courtney’s face just twisted, as she tried to maintain her steely glare while Victoria hastily wiped her eyes.

“... fuck,” she finally muttered, as she leaned back.

“What?” Taylor asked quietly.

“This was supposed to be therapeutic.” Courtney pinched the bridge of her nose. “Not make me feel like I was beating up a child with special needs or something.”

Taylor shook her head, as she turned back to Victoria. “... after what happened, I wound up talking to an old classmate who lost her brother to meth. She told me about all the messed-up shit he did to their family, and how long she spent hating him.” She paused. “And how much she misses him, now that he was gone.”

Victoria was silent, as she rubbed her nose while sniffling.

“She told me that her biggest regret was not forcing him to get some help. That if she could go back in time, she’d drag him kicking and screaming to rehab, whether he wanted to get better or not.” Taylor bit her lip. “I didn’t really know what she meant, until after I’d heard that you overdosed. Until I found out that you’d survived it, all I could think about was how badly I’d fucked up by not forcing you to go see someone.”

“I was the one who fucked up.” Victoria shook her head. “Everything I did was my fault.”

“Yea.” Taylor sighed. “But I could’ve been more helpful.”

Neither of them spoke for several seconds.

“How do we know that you won’t start doing lines again?” Courtney asked. “You always did back at UCLA.”

“I don’t want to.” Victoria shook her head. “I swear, Courtney, as much as you hate me, I hate who I was even more. I don’t ever want to go back.”

Courtney folded her arms again. “If I hadn’t heard that before...”

“I know.” Victoria wiped her eyes. “I didn’t realize what I had until I lost everything, Courtney. Including your guy’s friendship.”

“And now what? You think a few apologies and some money are going to get that back, after what you did?”

Victoria sighed. “I’d love nothing more,” she muttered. “But... like I said, I’m not stupid.”

“Forgive me if I hesitate before forming my opinion.”

“How are you doing? For real?” Taylor leaned forward, putting her elbows onto the table. “Max was right, Victoria, I barely recognize you. What happened?”

“I, uh...” Victoria glanced down at the table. “It was pointed out that my behavior wasn’t getting me very far.”

Courtney scoffed. “You think?”

“I know.” Victoria looked at her with watery eyes. “You don’t have to tell me that I was a shitty human being. I swear, Courtney, I am so sorry.”

“Yea. Well.” Courtney sighed as she pushed the envelope back towards Victoria. “Take this back.”

“Courtney, I stole-”

“I know what you did, trust me. But I don’t need your money. Nor do I want it.”

“I-”

“Maybe it’s a foreign concept, but this isn’t about you,” Steph interrupted. “This is about Victoria making amends, and paying back what she owes. If you’re worried that accepting the money sends some kind of signal that you forgive her, don’t be.” She folded her arms. “Take the cash. Put it towards a fund to get that stick removed from your ass.”

Courtney glared at Steph, but the older girl didn’t give. After few seconds, she sighed and took the envelope, folding it half and jamming it in her jacket pocket.

“She’s right, in case it’s not clear. I don’t forgive you, and I’m still pissed at you.” Courtney paused. “... but I’m glad you’re not dead.”

Victoria nodded. “Thank you,” she muttered.

“Yea.” Courtney nodded back. “Now what?”

“... I don’t know,” Victoria admitted. “I’m not sure what else I can say, to make things better.”

“Great.” Courtney glanced at Taylor. “Well, we heard her out. Can we go now?”

Taylor shot her a glare. “That’s it? Seriously?”

“Hey, she spent eighteen months making my life hell,” Courtney countered. “And breaking my nose. I don’t really-”

“Yea, and she stole my mother’s necklace to trade for drugs,” Taylor snapped. “But she’s trying to do better. You can Uber back to my place, if you want. But maybe I’d like to have a conversation with my friend where she’s not tweaking, or planning to rob me.”

Courtney’s face flushed. “... fine,” she muttered, as she stood. “Gimme your key.”

Taylor produced it from her purse. Courtney took it and walked away, rounding a group of trees and heading out of sight.

“Your friend’s a real bitch,” Steph mentioned.

“No, she’s not.” Taylor looked back at Victoria. “What you did hurt her. A lot, and aside from the broken nose. She tried so hard to help you, and you threw it back in her face. I think it’s more than understandable that she’s still mad, and not willing to believe that you’re committed to doing better just yet.”

“... I know,” Victoria muttered, dropping her eyes. “I wasn’t under any illusion that either of you would forgive me.”

“Good, because I haven’t.” Taylor reached inside her shirt and produced a familiar gold crucifix. “I’m not religious. I don’t even like this necklace very much. But it was my mom’s. And after what you did, I’m still terrified to take it off.”

“Taylor, I swear to God, I am so-”

“I know you’re sorry.” Taylor tucked the necklace away. “I know you were desperate. And I know if you weren’t an addict, you wouldn’t have done it. That doesn’t change how I feel.”

Victoria exhaled slowly, as she finally met Taylor’s eyes. “I don’t want to make excuses. I did a shitty thing. Probably the worst thing I’ve ever done. And honestly, I don’t know why you aren’t following Courtney.”

Taylor chewed on her lip as she leaned onto her elbows. “... because I miss my friend.”

“I don’t even know why I’m still your friend.”

“I haven’t decided if you are, right now. But you were. I miss the Victoria who drove me to the hospital, and sat in the waiting room with me when my mom had her procedures. The one who took me shopping, to get my mind off everything, and stayed up late with me when I couldn’t sleep.” Taylor paused. “The girl I knew before she started buying coke off of Frank Bowers.”

“... yea. Me too.” Victoria scratched at her wrist. “I’d love nothing more than to go back and kick her ass.”

Taylor looked her up and down. “You seriously don’t miss the coke?”

Victoria let out a shaky breath, sparing a glance at Max and Steph. “... I do miss it, sometimes,” she admitted. “I liked how it made me feel. But I don’t like who I was, back when I was doing it.” She swallowed. “I know that doesn’t inspire a lot of confidence. But I don’t want to be that person anymore.”

“Mm.” Taylor sighed. “You’re right. It doesn’t inspire much confidence.”

“Everyone at NA misses the drugs,” Steph told her. “If we didn’t, we wouldn’t be working the program. The difference is that we don’t want to be who we were, when we were using.”

Taylor nodded. She was silent for several seconds, seeming to mull over everything.

“... I don’t have a lot of friends up here,” she said quietly.

Max tilted her head. “You don’t?”

“No.” Taylor shook her head. “Amazon’s a nice place to work, but the job’s pretty cutthroat. My office is full of people who’d cut you off at the knees, then tell you to try jumping higher. I hold my own, but I don’t like most of my coworkers. And Courtney only makes her way up here once or twice a month.” She glanced back at Victoria. “You really are trying to get clean for yourself? This isn’t a thing to get back in your parents’ good graces?”

Victoria shook her head.

“Okay.” Taylor took a slow breath. “Maybe we can... I don’t know. Get dinner or something.”

“... really?”

Taylor shrugged. “Like I said, I miss who you were.” She paused. “Though if you backslide on me, I’ll never hear the end of it from Courtney.”

“I won’t.” Victoria shook her head. “I swear, Taylor, I’m done with that part of my life.”

“Glad to hear it.” Taylor bit her lip and glanced over her shoulder. “Look... I’m gonna go find Courtney before she really does Uber back to my apartment. And I’m sure she’s gonna have a lot to say. I’ll just... we’ll talk later, okay?”

Victoria nodded. “... thank you. For seeing me,” she added. “I know this doesn’t mean we’re better.”

“Not yet.” Taylor stood up, stepping away from the table. “... but it was good to see you again, Vic.”

With that, she turned and walked away. As she left their sight, Victoria slowly slumped over, folding her arms on the table and dropping her head into them.

“Hey.” Max laid a hand on her shoulder. “Are you-”

“Can we not talk right now?” Victoria mumbled.

“That went really well, Victoria.”

“I know.” The blonde drew a shaky breath. “Please gimme a minute.”

Max nodded, squeezing Victoria’s shoulder. Steph rubbed the blonde’s back as they waited silently.

* * *

**Max:** You have no idea how much yesterday meant to her.

**Taylor:** Well. It was really nice to see her sober.

**Taylor:** Like Courtney said, though, I’m still hesitant.

**Max: **I know. And she does, too. But seeing the two of you meant a lot to her.

**Taylor:** Even Courtney?

**Max:** Even her. Victoria appreciated being able to pay her back and apologize.

**Taylor:** She wasn’t exactly nice.

**Max:** Steph and I honestly didn’t think either of you would be.

**Max:** Did you two talk afterwards?

**Taylor:** Yes. Courtney made it very clear that she thinks I’m making a mistake.

**Max:** ... what do you think?

**Taylor:** I think it’s my mistake to make.

**Taylor:** Besides, after two years of pretty intense boardroom politics, I’ve gotten a good handle on when someone is trying to bullshit me.

**Taylor:** I’ll give her a chance. But that’s all I can promise.

**Max:** I understand.

**Taylor:** I was going to ask if she wanted to get dinner sometime this week. Maybe at Horaldo’s. When is she free?

**Max:** I think Wednesday evening. But not Horaldo’s.

**Taylor:** Why? I know she likes it.

**Max:** Because she’s still cut off, Taylor. And she just made a tuition payment, on top of paying Courtney back. She doesn’t have the cash to spend eighty bucks on an entrée.

**Taylor:** Oh. Right.

**Taylor: **Where, then? What’s within her budget?

**Max:** ... what’s your standing on Applebee’s?


	28. Applebee's

**Dec 11th, 2019**

**Days Sober: 191 **

“Really, Victoria, I don’t know why you’re fussing.”

The blonde scoffed as she straightened her shirt. “I just want to make sure I don’t look like a hobo or something.”

“Not a lot of hobos running around Seattle in blouses, I promise,” Max snarked from her seat at the table. “Seriously, calm down. You’re not preparing for a date, it’s dinner with a friend.”

“A friend that I haven’t had a real conversation with in two years,” Victoria countered. “And the last time we did, I stole an irreplaceable family heirloom.”

“Well, you’re meeting at a restaurant, so that’s probably not going to happen again.”

“I know. I still want this to go well, and not fuck it up.” Victoria glanced at Max. The brunette was focused on her computer, reading while occasionally typing. “What are you doing, anyway?”

“Looking at graduate schools.”

“Really?”

Max nodded. “I’m about two-thirds through paying off my student loans, and was thinking about trying for a Master’s when I was finished. I’m shopping around to see what’s out there.”

“Ah. Neat.” Victoria nodded as she checked her watch. “What kind of Master’s?”

“I’m not sure. There’s a few programs around Seattle that look pretty good.”

“I thought you were looking forward to going back to the rehab center?”

“I am. I was. I don’t know, I haven’t made any decisions yet.” Max looked up. “Aren’t you supposed to be leaving soon?”

“In a few minutes.” Victoria checked her watch again. “... actually, I should probably get downstairs before I call an Uber.”

“I would.”

* * *

“Have to admit, it’s been a while since I’ve eaten at one of these.”

Taylor smirked. “Really?”

Victoria nodded, as she glanced around the Applebee’s. “I think I only ever ate at the one in Arcadia Bay.”

“Well, not like there were many other decent places to eat in that town.” Taylor leaned back in her seat. “How was work? Max said you had the opening shift.”

“Not too bad.” Victoria shrugged. “Wednesdays aren’t super busy for restaurants. Most people go on Friday and Saturday, so those are the shifts everyone wants to work.”

“Really? Why?”

“Tips, dude. I earn more money when there are more people.”

“Ah. Makes sense.” Taylor nodded. “I’m sorry, I still can’t believe what you’re doing.”

“Trust me, I pinch myself a lot.” Victoria sipped her Diet Coke through the straw. “How’s working at Amazon? Everything you hoped it would be? You were pretty excited when you got the job.”

“… sort of.” Taylor sighed. “Don’t get me wrong, I love what I do, and being able to say that I work at Amazon is awesome. My colleagues, on the other hand...”

“Are they really that bad?”

“There is so much under-handed political bullshit, man.” Taylor shook her head. “And some of them are working crazy hours, trying to get noticed by important people. There’s one guy in my office, I’m not actually sure if he goes home or not. I’m starting to think that he sleeps in his cubicle.”

“Damn.” Victoria cocked her head. “And you don’t want that?”

“I want to do good work, and I focus on just trying to be great at my job without sabotaging everyone around me. But I don’t want to stress myself into an early grave, either. Besides, having crow’s feet before the age of thirty isn’t a good look.”

Victoria had to snicker at that. “So, no working until midnight for you?”

“Yea, no. I’m not an indentured servant. There’ll always be more work tomorrow.” She waved her hand dismissively. “Besides, it’s not like I’m curing cancer or something. I’m after the experience and the check. If I happen to get promoted along the way, so be it.”

“Seems like a good attitude to have. So, how tight are you with Jeff?”

“He doesn’t even work in my building. I’ve seen him once, at a huge company event, so we’re not quite on a first-name basis yet.” Taylor leaned forward, planting her elbows on the table. “What about you? How much further for your degree?”

“A lot. I barely have enough credits to be considered a Junior. I’m almost done with my electives, though.”

“Nice. What’s your major? Still photography?”

Victoria nodded. “Well, technically it’s a Visual Arts degree,” she clarified. “Photography isn’t really a major. But it’ll be my specialization.”

“What are you going to do with it? Open a studio?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.” Victoria exhaled slowly. “I honestly haven’t put as much thought into it as I probably should have. I just got a camera back a couple of months ago.”

Taylor frowned. “Got it back? What does that mean?”

Victoria dropped her gaze. “I, uh… I pawned my old one.”

“Oh.”

They fell silent for a minute.

“I actually forgot that I was still kind-of mad at you for twenty minutes,” Taylor admitted quietly. “I’ve been thinking about this dinner for the past few days, while keeping that in the back of my mind.”

Victoria looked back up. “... it’s been a really nice twenty minutes.”

“Yea, it has.” Taylor nodded. “Like we were back at Blackwell, in our Freshman and Sophomore years.”

“Are you saying things went downhill after we met Courtney?”

Taylor snorted. “No. Definitely not. But Junior year was when you started...”

Victoria bit her lip. “I remember.”

“Can I...” Taylor hesitated. “Never mind.”

“What?”

“It’s a bad question.”

“I’m not really in a position to be mad at you for it.”

Taylor’s lip twitched in a semblance of a smirk. “Okay. I just... why did you buy that coke from Frank Bowers?”

Victoria furrowed her brow. “Because there wasn’t anyone else in Acadia Bay to buy it from.”

“I mean the first time,” Taylor clarified. “Courtney and I were there with you, remember? We were buying weed for the Vortex Club party, and you asked him if he had anything else to sell…”

“Oh. Yea.” Victoria scratched the back of her neck, feeling guilty about the memory. “When he showed us the pills. And… the rest of the stuff in his vents.”

“We had plenty of pot. And Nathan had the booze arranged already.” Taylor paused. “Why did you want the coke? You hardly needed it to get wasted.”

“I...” Victoria paused, thinking over her answer. After a few seconds, she sighed heavily. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “Part of me just wanted to try it, I know that. I can’t give you a great answer for the rest of it."

“Did it really feel that good?”

“Better.”

“Jesus.” Taylor shook her head “... I’m sorry.”

Victoria looked confused. “Why? You didn’t do anything.”

“I know. That’s my point.” Taylor met her gaze. “When Frank was showing you the coke, I was... I don’t know, having an internal breakdown, I guess. You remember Courtney was already at the car, stashing the pot under the passenger seat?”

“I do.” The corner of Victoria’s mouth twitched. “We weren’t exactly master smugglers.”

“Yea. So it was just me, watching Frank sell you that baggie. And I was screaming at myself to not let you buy it. I mean, pot was one thing, but cocaine was a hard left from the straight-and-narrow.” Taylor bit her lip. “A huge part of me just wanted to grab your arm, pull you away, and get us out of there.”

Victoria nodded slowly. “... what stopped you?”

“I figured you were a big girl who wouldn’t appreciate me trying to manhandle her. And you could handle a little bit of blow.” Taylor looked away. “I should’ve dragged you out of his RV by your toes.”

“Hey.” Victoria leaned forward. “I fucked up all on my own. I’m the only one here to blame for what I did. There’s no need to spread it around.”

“I still feel a little bad.”

“Well, don’t.” Victoria shook her head. “Not after what I did to you and Courtney. I’m the only one at this table allowed to feel guilty.”

Taylor smirked for half a second, before taking a deep breath. “I probably shouldn’t have mentioned it. We’re supposed to be catching up.”

“Well, I’m not sure how much of what I’ve done between your last visit and six months ago you really want to hear.”

“Fair enough.”

“Let’s focus on you.” Victoria leaned onto the table. “Found a nice boyfriend yet?”

Taylor scoffed. “No.”

“Girlfriend?”

“Not one of those, either.”

Victoria raised an eyebrow. “How in the world has a hot little bi girl like you managed to make it to twenty-four without locking down a suitor of either gender?” She paused. “You’re not still crushing on anime characters, are you?”

“Christ, we’ll see if I ever confess anything to you again.” Taylor slumped in her seat. “Steph was nice enough to bring that up in front of Courtney, too.”

“... she was?” Victoria tilted her head. “How did she know?”

“You know she had a side business at Blackwell burning pirated DVDs, right?”

“I didn’t even realize she was at Blackwell until she told me at the NA meeting.” Victoria frowned. “Is she where you got all those movies from?”

“Yes. And how the hell did you not?” Taylor asked incredulously. “She was running the backstage of that play you wouldn’t shut up about! And selling movies to half the school! How did you never meet her?”

Victoria sighed. “Another side effect of my formerly-charming personality, I guess.”

“I’ll say.” Taylor shook her head. “And now you’re both in Seattle together, and she’s your sponsor.”

“And Max is my sober companion, and Kate is actually my friend.” Victoria smirked. “Talk about a small world, right?”

“I still can’t believe that.” Taylor glanced at their table, clearly uncomfortable. “When I heard her voice over the phone, it felt like my world fell out from underneath me.”

“I know the feeling. She was the first person I tried to make amends with.”

Taylor looked back up. “Really?”

“Max asked her to visit me at the rehab center.” Victoria chewed on her lip. “I broke down crying in front of her, when I finally worked up the balls to say something. Seeing her reminded me how much of a bitch I actually used to be.”

“That’s about how I felt, when I spoke to her.” Taylor nodded. “I was actually a little scared that she was going to be there, when we met last week.”

“She wanted to be. But she had an OB appointment that she couldn’t miss.”

Taylor frowned. “OB appointment?”

“Oh, right. She’s seven or eight months pregnant, I forget which.”

“... damn,” Taylor remarked. “We’re all growing up, aren’t we?”

“I suppose so.”

“Speaking of which, what about you?” Taylor asked in a teasing voice. “Where’s your girlfriend?”

Victoria scoffed. “I don’t think anyone’s interested in dating a hot mess like me.”

“Dude, there are girls who would literally get off on the thought of dating a hot mess like you.”

“Yea, that sounds like the foundation of a healthy relationship.” Victoria shook her head. “I haven’t met anyone that I thought was really worth dating. And I’m trying to focus on getting my shit together, anyway.”

“Mm. I guess that’s fair,” Taylor allowed. “What about your sober companion? How’s Max’s love life?”

“I don’t know if she actually dates.”

“Oh, she does.” Taylor smirked. “Courtney told me a few years ago, that she used to ask her for fashion advice on Facebook.”

Victoria grinned. “Well, given that I’ve only ever seen her wear hoodies and jeans, I can believe it.”

“That’s depressing. So she’s not seeing anyone?”

“If she has, she hasn’t mentioned them to me.” Victoria sighed. “I feel a little bad about that. Like it’s my fault she doesn’t have much of a social life.”

“What, does she not go out?”

“Not really. The only other person our age I think she’s hung out with is Steph, and I’m usually there for that, too.”

“Ah.” Taylor smiled smugly. “You’ve just surrounded yourself with gay cheerleaders, haven’t you?”

“Oh, shut up.” Victoria shook her head. “Honestly, I was surprised as hell when I found out she was gay.”

“Really?”

“Yea. I always thought she had a little something for that Warren kid, back at Blackwell.”

“No way, man. That was always platonic. Besides, you know he’s engaged to Brooke Scott now, right?”

She perked up. “Really?”

“Yea, they both wound up going to Stanford together. They’re in med school now.”

“I didn’t know that.” Victoria leaned forward. “What about the rest of our class? What are they doing?”

“Are you not on the Blackwell Facebook page?”

“I don’t think they’d let me join, at this point.”

“... okay, fair enough.” Taylor took a breath. “Well, Stella went to OSU. I actually think she was taking classes with Max for a little bit, but she transferred to Yale and got her degree in... I don’t know, something money-related. She works on Wall Street now.”

“Damn.”

“I know, who would’ve figured there were actually some smart people in our class?” Taylor smirked. “Alyssa went to some culinary school in Portland, and then opened a restaurant. One of those small-plates places with craft beer, I think. Juliet got a degree in Journalism, and works for a news station in Los Angeles. Dana’s still working on her degree, but I don’t think she’s in any rush, on account of being a Forty-Niners cheerleader and all.”

“Wait, really? Dana’s an NFL cheerleader?”

“I’m actually surprised you didn’t know that. She went to an open try-out down in San Francisco and made the cut. She’s got a massive following on Instagram and Snap Chat.” Taylor nodded. “Apparently, her pay is shit, but she travels a lot. And she coaches gymnastics in the off-season.”

“Huh.” Victoria nodded. “I’ll have to look that up. What about Zach Riggins? I heard he was going to play for… was it LSU?”

“Yea, he did, but he got hurt in his Junior year. Got himself sidelined, something to do with his knee.” Taylor shrugged. “I don’t remember if he finished his degree or not. He moved to Texas, and I think he’s an assistant coach at some high school that takes football way too seriously.”

“What about Logan? And Hayden?”

“Hayden’s not on Facebook, so I’m not sure. I heard a rumor that he’s involved with growing marijuana, but I don’t know if that’s true or not. Logan went and joined the Army.”

“He did?”

“Yep. He posted a couple of pictures of himself in Iraq, or Afghanistan, or someplace that looked sandy and miserable.” Taylor smirked. “Sorry, but I don’t remember anyone else off the top of my head. I’d have to go look.”

“Wow.” Victoria sat back. “Well... good for them.”

Taylor tilted her head. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Maybe a little jealous,” Victoria admitted. “It seems like everyone else has their shit together. And I’m still mooching off my parents, who don’t trust me enough to let me live alone, while checking in with a dedicated babysitter every night.”

“Ah.” Taylor nodded. “Max told me you were a little bitter.”

“I’m not...” Victoria hesitated. “Okay, maybe a little. But I know I did this to myself.”

“Is there ANYTHING I can do to help?” Taylor asked sincerely.

“... you want to help?”

“I know you have Max, and Steph, and Kate,” Taylor allowed. “But... if I can do something to help keep you sober, then please tell me.”

Victoria chewed on her lip for several seconds before she answered. “There isn’t much you can do,” she finally said quietly. “It’s my thing. I’m the one who has to put in the effort. But meeting you like this has been really awesome. And if the only price I have to pay is staying off the coke... then it makes it easier."

“Then we’ll have dinner once a week for every week that you don’t do blow,” she promised. “Because it’s been great, actually having a real conversation with you. I really did miss this.”

“Me too.”

Taylor smiled, then dropped it. “But we need to pick a different restaurant,” she added, looking around. “I mean, Christ, we ordered our food half an hour ago. Where the fuck is our waitress?!”

* * *

Victoria was still smiling when she was walking towards her condo, after getting off the elevator.

_That was awesome,_ she thought as she twirled her keys around her finger. _I can’t believe how amazing it was to talk to her again. _

She hummed as she unlocked the door, pushing inside the apartment. Max was sitting on the couch with her phone in her hands. “Hey,” she greeted her.

“Hey, Max.” Victoria closed the door behind her. “Okay, you were right. There was no point in fussing.”

“It went well?”

“It went great.” Victoria kicked her shoes off. “She said that she wanted to do it again, next week.”

“Cool.”

Victoria turned, sensing that something was wrong, and finally got a good look at Max. The brunette was sitting on the couch, looking like her world had just fallen out from under her. She couldn’t stop fidgeting with her phone, as she stared blankly at the wall. “What?” Victoria asked after a few seconds. “What’s wrong?”

Max met her gaze. “... you should sit,” she said quietly.

“... I don’t know if I want to.”

“Victoria, please sit down.”

The blonde let out a slow breath, a feeling of dread developing in her stomach as she sat on the love seat. “What is it?”

Max took a deep breath. “Kate said she was going to call earlier, to wish you good luck on your dinner. After you left, I called her to see what was up. And... one of Hector’s co-workers answered her phone.”

Victoria blinked. “Hector’s co-worker? Why?”

“Hector was sent out this morning to service a line of transformers. He was in his bucket truck, working at the top of a twenty-foot pole. And...” Max swallowed. “A, uh… a drunk driver hit his truck. Hard enough to flip it over.”

“... oh, fuck,” Victoria breathed. “Is he okay?”

Max shook her head. “His safety harness broke,” she said quietly, wiping her eyes. “He, uh, got thrown and hit the ground head-first.”

“No.” Victoria covered her mouth. “No, Max, please tell me he’s...”

The brunette sniffled. “… they pronounced him dead at the scene.”


	29. Linemen

**Dec 21st, 2019**

**Days Sober: 201 **

“I fuckin’ hate funerals.”

Max looked sideways at Steph, sitting in the passenger seat of her car in a black dress. “You seemed fine.”

“That’s because I can feign tolerance. I don’t like the finality, or the really depressing atmosphere.” Steph itched at her hair, the white beanie notably missing. “I also feel a little out-of-place. I mean, I never even met the guy.”

“Neither did we.” Max gestured between her and the back seat. “We’re not here for him, we’re here for Kate.”

“I know.” Steph slouched. “Christ, she looked so out of it.”

“Her fiancé just died. Right before Christmas, even. It’s a miracle that she’s vertical.”

“Hey man, you don’t have to defend her to me. If it was my fiancé, I’d be halfway through a bottle of tequila right now.”

Max sighed, then looked at her rearview mirror. “You okay, Victoria?”

The blonde nodded, as she stared out the window. With the overcast skies and light rain, it was definitely funeral weather. “How much further to their house?” she asked.

“A couple of minutes.”

“Okay.” Victoria looked forward. “... I haven’t gotten a chance to say anything to her yet.”

“Me either.” Max shook her head. “We can find her once we get to the house.”

“Probably be a lot of people.”

Max and Steph both nodded. “I didn’t realize that linemen were so tight-knit,” Max mentioned. “Never seen so many guys with beards in nice suits. How many you think were there, thirty? Forty?”

“Close to it.” Steph paused. “Did you notice her family?”

“I wasn’t looking.”

“Her parents were there. And both her sisters.”

“Those two younger girls behind her?”

“Yea. They seemed upset.”

“Well, their sister’s fiancé just died. I’m sure they would be.”

“True. But her mom was just kind of... I don’t know. Stone-faced.” Steph shrugged. “It was really weird. I didn’t know what to make of it.”

“Kate said her mother didn’t really approve of him,” Victoria mentioned. “Maybe that was it.”

“But to not express ANY kind of emotion when the love of your kid’s life dies? The father of your future grandchild?” Steph glanced at her. “You’d have to be a special kind of bitch to not feel anything at an event like this.”

“It’s not our place to judge anyone,” Max told them. “Everyone processes grief differently. Some people shut down. Kate didn’t cry during the service either.”

“Yea, but dude, she didn’t even look like she was there,” Steph countered. “Her eyes looked like she was a million miles away. Like pictures of soldiers, with the thousand-yard stare. That girl is so out of it, I don’t even think she knows where she is.”

Max chewed the inside of her cheek, then shrugged. “Look, let’s just try to be there for Kate, okay? Say some nice words, help out however we can. We’ll have plenty of time to speculate on people’s emotions later.”

They pulled up to the house a few moments later, parking on the street behind a long line of cars. Several of the linemen were standing around the house, talking quietly while ignoring the drizzling rain. The girls walked past them quickly, making their way inside.

Victoria took a few seconds to look around the house after the door closed behind her; she’d never considered what kind of home Kate might live in, but the house felt about right. Everything was in perfect order, and all of the furniture was very tasteful. Several pictures of Kate and Hector dotted the walls, intermingled with a couple of crosses and some nice artwork. Across the room a door opened into what looked like an art studio, with an angled table and drawing supplies. And in the far corner, a Christmas tree stood in it’s base, several wrapped presents underneath.

Kate was nowhere to be seen, though.

“You think she’s in the kitchen?” Steph asked quietly.

“Maybe,” Max agreed, trying to peek through the dozen or so people standing around. “Let’s go see.”

“I’ll be right there.” Victoria took off her coat, hanging it on the nearby rack. “I need to use the bathroom.”

She split off, looking around as she stepped between several people before spotting a door that looked right. She took the handle and tried to open it, but it was locked.

“Just a moment,” a woman called from the inside.

“... dammit,” Victoria muttered as she stepped back.

“There’s another one upstairs.”

She turned to see a younger girl who looked like she might’ve still been in high school, with blonde hair flowing past her shoulders. She spoke quietly, without actually looking at Victoria as she leaned her back against the wall.

“Thank you.” Victoria paused. “You’re... are you one of Kate’s sisters?”

The girl nodded. “Jessica.”

“Oh. I’m Victoria.” She bit her lip. “I’m sorry.”

“Thank you.” Jessica nodded towards the stairs. “Up there, down the hall on your left.”

_... guess we’re done talking._

Victoria walked away, heading upstairs.

* * *

She left the bathroom a few minutes later, closing the door quietly behind her.

Just as she was about to head downstairs, she heard a slight movement from the nearby room. She paused, trying to identify the rhythmic movement, before curiosity got the better of her and she peeked through the half-open door.

Kate was sitting in a rocking chair. Both hands were wrapped around her stomach, as she rocked the chair gently while staring at the crib across the room.

“... Kate?” Victoria asked carefully, knocking on the door.

The blonde looked up at her, almost appearing to stare through her. “Hey,” she replied quietly.

Victoria pushed the door open slowly. “What are you doing?”

“Sitting.” Kate went back to looking at the wall. “My feet hurt a little.”

She waited for more, but Kate didn’t say anything else, as she rocked her chair back and forth. “Is there anything you need me to do?”

Kate stopped rocking to look at her again. “Can you get my Crocs from my bedroom?” she asked. “They’re on the floor next to my nightstand.”

“Sure.”

Victoria made her way into the master bedroom, which was just as tidy as the rest of the house. She retrieved a pair of pink Crocs and went back to the nursery, then knelt and pulled Kate’s flats off her feet before sliding on the rubber slippers.

“Thank you,” Kate said in a small voice. “That feels better.”

“You’re welcome.” Victoria hesitated before she got back up. “... I am so sorry, Kate.”

The blonde nodded, dropping her gaze to her lap.

“Are you okay?”

As soon as the words left her mouth, Victoria wished that she could take them back. _Of course she’s not, you idiot._

But Kate didn’t reply.

“... Kate? Are you-”

“It doesn’t feel real.”

Victoria blinked at the interruption as Kate looked back up at her. “None of this feels real,” she added hollowly. “It feels like I’m trapped in a nightmare, and I can’t wake up.” She sniffled. “I just want him back.”

Her heart twisted, as Victoria tried to keep tears from welling up in her eyes. She reached out and took Kate’s hand. “Please, Kate,” she begged, “tell me what I can do.”

“I don’t know.” Kate took a shaky breath, as she looked back down at her stomach. “I need to stop. Stress is bad for the baby. I just wanted to get away from everything for a few minutes.”

Victoria blinked rapidly as she wiped her eyes with her free hand. “... should I go?”

Kate shook her head. “I should head back downstairs,” she muttered, glancing at the open door. “I can hear people looking for me.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I know. But all of Hector’s friends and coworkers want to talk to me, too.” Kate squeezed Victoria’s hand. “Can you help me up?”

Victoria nodded as she stood, pulling Kate slowly to her feet.

“Thank you. And... thanks for coming for me,” Kate added. “It means a lot that you guys drove down.”

“Of course.” Victoria paused. “And seriously, Kate, please tell me if you need me to do anything.”

“I will.”

Kate lead the way out of the bedroom. Victoria followed closely behind as her friend took the stairs very slowly, keeping one hand in a tight grip on the handrail. They got to the bottom of the steps, but Kate froze before she turned into the living room.

Victoria stepped down behind her, trying to figure out what was stopping them, when she heard the low voices. Kate turned to their left, and Victoria saw the older couple conversing quietly.

“Sweetie, this is not the time,” the man was saying intently.

“I know that, Richard. I’m not going to say anything now.” The woman paused. “But it’s not something that should wait.”

“It is not our place. You need to stop talking like this. He was a good man, who provided everything for-”

“He knocked her up outside the sanctity of marriage,” the woman snipped back. “I don’t care what else he did, he was not a good man.”

_... oh my God, is that her mother?_ Victoria glanced at Kate, who was still standing frozen. Neither of the two people showed any indication of realizing they were there.

“It was an accident. They didn’t-”

“Yes, it was. The whole thing never should’ve happened. Especially not with him,” the woman added derisively, shaking her head. “At least we can help her find a good Christian man. One who will hopefully look past her indiscretions and-”

“How dare you.”

The voice that came from Kate’s mouth was flat, but Victoria could feel the rage simmering beneath it. Both of her parents whipped their heads around. Her father looked aghast, almost mortified, but her mother looked calm and deliberate.

“Kate,” she said carefully, “I don’t know what you-”

“SHUT UP!!”

Victoria flinched at the scream. Both of Kate’s fists clenched, and her face flushed a deep shade of red. “I LOVED HIM!! HE WAS MY FIANCÉ!! THE FUTURE FATHER OF YOUR GRANDCHILD!!”

“Kate!” Her mother exclaimed. “Do NOT get hysterical at me! We’re just thinking about your-”

“YOU HAVEN’T SEEN HYSTERICAL YET!!” Kate shrieked as she grabbed for a potted plant on a nearby table. In a swiping motion, she sent it flying across the room to shatter on the ground, spilling dirt everywhere. “How DARE you stand in my house and disrespect him at his funeral!! What the FUCK is wrong with you?!”

Victoria felt movement behind her, and glanced to see that everyone else had gone silent. Max and Steph were both watching with wide eyes, as did over a dozen other men and women.

“Young lady, do NOT curse at-”

“Get out," Kate seethed, tears starting to leak from her eyes. “Get the FUCK out.”

“I will not-”

“GET OUT!!” Kate screamed, turning to shout at the rest of the house. “SOMEBODY GET HER OUT OF MY HOUSE!!”

If she hadn’t been standing there, Victoria wouldn’t have believed how fast it happened. It felt like it took less than a second for a half-dozen very large, very rough-looking men to surround Kate’s mother, glowering at her with mean eyes.

“It’s time for you to leave,” one of them said menacingly.

Kate’s mother tried, and failed, to meet his glare with one of her own. Her expression wavered before long. “I am her MOTHER, and I am not leaving before-”

“Yes. You are.” The man took a step forward, as did the others, invading her personal space. “Let’s go.”

“If you lay a finger on me, I’ll call the police,” she threatened.

“That won’t be necessary.” Another man produced a badge from his pocket. “This is not your home, and you are no longer welcome here. You can walk out, or I can drag you kicking and screaming. After which, I’ll be more than happy to place you under arrest for trespassing.”

Her face flushed as she looked around, taking in the angry faces around her. Even Max and Steph were there, standing behind Kate with angry expressions. “Sweetie, I think it’s time to leave,” her husband said quietly.

“... fine,” she ground out. “Get the girls.”

“No.” Heads turned to see another young woman with blonde hair, standing across the room with crossed arms. Jessica stood behind her with a neutral face. “We’ll Uber home.”

“Lynn, you cannot-”

“They can stay,” Kate snapped as she wiped her eyes. “You can go. And don’t ever fucking come back.”

It hadn’t seemed possible, but her mother’s face darkened further. She turned and stomped off, passing through the crowd as she yanked open the front door and stalked out. Richard followed wordlessly.

Kate almost seemed to deflate as the door closed behind him, so much so that Max and Steph both grabbed her shoulders. “I’m fine,” she muttered weakly.

“I know, Kate,” Max agreed. “Why don’t we sit down anyway.”


	30. Help

“That was fucking insane.”

Victoria nodded in agreement as she leaned against the wall. Her and Steph had migrated to the back of the house, where there was a screened-in porch overlooking the backyard. The rain was still falling, slightly harder than it had been earlier, and the sound was soothing.

“I can’t believe the balls on that bitch, to say some shit like that at a funeral.” Steph put her vape back to her lips, inhaling slowly before breathing out a puff of smoke. “If it was my fiancé, I would’ve started swinging.”

“You’re not seven months pregnant,” Victoria reminded her.

“Even if I was, I still might’ve.”

“... yea. Me too.” Victoria shook her head. “Christ, I could use a drink right now.”

Steph raised an eyebrow.

“I’m being facetious again. I don’t need an intervention.”

“I know. I’m just keeping you on your toes.” Steph exhaled slowly. “Shit.”

The back door opened, and one of the bearded men from before stepped out, breathing the fresh air deeply. He noticed the two of them and shook his head. “Hell of a day,” he mentioned.

“No kidding,” Steph agreed.

“I don’t like that woman very much.”

“Really?” Victoria asked. “I think she’s a raging cunt.”

He snorted in amusement. “I wasn’t gonna be the first to say it.” He held out his hand. “Jeff.”

“Victoria.” She shook his hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“Steph.” The brunette shook his hand next. “Are you one of Hector’s coworkers?”

“I am.” He hesitated. “I mean... I was.” he sighed. “Fuck. Sorry. That guy was one of the best journeymen in the union, and what happened to him is just shitty.”

“We heard.” Victoria shook her head. “Drunk driver, right?”

“Yea. Goddamn waste of oxygen.” Jeff pinched his nose. “Guy had three fuckin’ DUIs on his record, the cops said. Should’ve had his ass thrown in jail, but his rich mommy kept beating the rap for him.”

Steph and Victoria exchanged looks. “Christ,” Steph muttered. “We’re so sorry, man. We never got the chance to meet him, but Kate was always going on about how great of a fiancé he was.”

“I really wish we could’ve,” Victoria added quietly.

“You guys would’ve loved him. He really was the nicest guy you’d ever meet.” Jeff nodded. “And he was so excited to be a dad. Shit, I never seen anyone so eager to meet his kid.”

The three of them looked back towards the door. “... you think Kate’ll be okay?” Steph asked quietly.

“I don’t know,” Victoria muttered. “I hope so.”

“Me too.” Jeff glanced around the back porch. “I hope to fuck she can stay in this house.”

Steph frowned. “Why wouldn’t she?”

“Without Hector bring in another paycheck...” Jeff shrugged. “I know she has some children’s books coming out, but I don’t know if it’ll be enough.”

“I don't get it. Didn't Hector have life insurance?” Victoria asked.

Jeff shook his head. “Premiums for linemen are expensive,” he told her. “It’s one of the most dangerous jobs in the world. Lot of younger guys don’t have any.”

“... including Hector?”

He nodded.

“There’s no emergency funds or anything?” Steph exclaimed. “Not with your company? Or your union?”

“The union does.” He paused. “But it’s only for spouses. And they weren’t married.”

“They were engaged! She’s carrying his kid!”

“Which is why we tried to get an exception passed at an emergency meeting last week.” He sighed heavily. “The council shot it down. They don’t want to set a precedent where a non-spouse can get money specifically reserved for wives.”

“... fuck.” Victoria glanced at Steph. “You think the money from her books will keep her here?”

Steph grimaced. “As an artist, I can tell you that it’s a rough way to make a living.”

“The union is still trying to help,” Jeff assured them. “They’re taking up a collection for her. And she’ll always be able to call us, to ask for help.”

“She won’t.” Victoria shook her head. “I know she won’t.”

“Maybe not. But we’ll be there nonetheless.”

* * *

“That sucks.”

“I know.” Steph rubbed her face, as Max drove them back later that evening. “I’m trying to figure out a way we could help, but I can barely afford my own rent.”

“I have a little money saved up,” Max admitted. “I mean, I was putting it aside for possible grad schools, but if Kate needs-”

“Dude, no.” Steph shook her head. “Don’t do that. I don’t know if Kate would take money from any of us anyway, but if she found out it was supposed to be for your education, she’d smack you in the head with it.”

Max sighed. “Yea, she probably would.”

“I think the best we can do is just help her out with whatever she needs,” Steph offered. “Maybe we can-”

“Do you still have my dad’s number?”

Max and Steph paused at Victoria’s sudden question. “... why?” Max asked.

“I want to talk to him.”

“Kate won’t take your father’s money, either,” Steph said. “I mean, maybe if she was desperate to stay in her house, but right now she isn’t-”

“I know she won’t take any handouts. And I don’t think he’d do that anyway. That’s not what I want to ask him about.” Victoria looked at Max through the rearview mirror. “Can I talk to him or not?”

Max and Steph exchanged quick glances, before Max retrieved her phone from her purse. She unlocked it and selected a number, then passed it back.

The phone was still ringing as Victoria put it to her ear. The call connected after a few seconds. “_Max?_” her father asked. “_Is everything okay?_”

“Hey, Dad.”

“_Oh. Victoria._” He paused. “_I thought it was-_”

“I know.” She bit her lip. “... I’m sorry. For all the shit I put you and Mom through. I know I’ve said it before, but… I really do mean it.”

“_Oh. I..._” Derek seemed at a loss, as he chose his words. “_Well, you have said so. But… that still means a lot, to hear you say it._”

“And I know I still have a lot of progress to make, before I really earn your and mom’s trust back.” She paused. “But... I was hoping that I had earned enough to ask if you could help someone else.”

“_Someone else? Who?_”

“A friend of mine. One who’s really been there for me, since I started trying to un-fuck my life.” Victoria exhaled slowly. “... and now she’s in a really bad way.”

“_I see._” Derek paused. “_Your friend... she’s been helping with your sobriety?_”

“Yea. It’s, uh… it’s the girl I took that video of. Back when I was in high school.”

“_The one you put online?_”

“Uh huh.” Victoria felt her face flush, as she dropped her gaze to her feet. “I really screwed her up, back then. And when she found out I was trying to get clean, she just…” She swallowed. “I don’t know why she didn’t kick me to the curb, but she forgave me for what I did. And she’s been there for me this whole time.”

“_Oh. Wow._”

“Yea.” Victoria rubbed her nose. “I really need to help her, Dad. She’s done so much for me, and I’ve barely done anything to make amends.”

There was silence on the other end, and Victoria could feel her father mulling over his answer through the phone. She could also feel Max and Steph watching her carefully.

“_... why don’t you tell me exactly what’s going on._”

* * *

**Dec 23rd, 2019**

**Days Sober: 203 **

“This is it?”

Victoria nodded. “That’s the one.”

“It’s a nice house,” the woman driving commented as she pulled to the curb. “Very cozy. I can certainly see why she’d want to keep it. Does she know we’re coming?”

“She knows I’m coming.” Victoria shrugged as she undid her seatbelt. “I didn’t mention you. I figured it would be easier to convince her in person.”

“She doesn’t like to accept help?”

“It’s more like she doesn’t want to be a burden. Or anyone’s project.”

She led the way towards the house and up the front steps, ringing the doorbell. After a few seconds, they heard footsteps on the other side, and the door opened.

Kate’s sister Lynn was on the other side. She looked them up and down. “Victoria Chase,” she stated. “I thought that was you, at the service.”

“... hi,” she greeted her. “I told Kate I was-”

“Yea, Kate told me you were coming.” Lynn crossed her arms, an intense look on her face. “I made her repeat it, because I didn’t believe that you’d actually have the balls to be in the same room as her. Not after what you did back at Blackwell.”

Victoria averted her eyes. “... I know.”

“Whatever. The only reason I’m not punching you in the face is because Kate says I’m not allowed.” Lynn stepped aside. “Come on. She’s in the kitchen.”

* * *

Kate looked up from her seat at the table as the three of them walked inside.

The blonde still looked rough. There were bags under her eyes, and Victoria could see a faint rim of red around her nose. But her friend found it in her to give a small smile. “Hey, Victoria.”

“Hi, Kate.” Victoria smiled back. “How are you doing?"

Kate shrugged. “Getting through the days.”

“Yes, she is.” Victoria looked up and saw a woman she hadn’t noticed before, standing at the stove as she worked a pan. She looked a little older than Kate, and had jet-black hair done up in a ponytail as she tended her cooking. “It’ll just be a few minutes, _mamá__._”

“Thanks.” Kate gestured to the woman. “This is Gabriella. Hector’s sister.”

Victoria waved. “Nice to meet you.”

“You too.”

“That smells amazing.”

“_Gracias._ Somebody’s gotta make sure my little niece eats good food.” Gabriella smiled over her shoulder. “I loved my little _hermano_, but he was terrible in the kitchen.”

“No he wasn’t,” Kate said defensively. “His food was really good.”

“You’re only saying that because you’re biased, _mamá_.”

Kate shook her head, looking back at Victoria. She frowned as she saw the other woman. “Who’s your friend, Victoria?”

“Oh, sorry.” Victoria nodded towards her. “This is Hannah. I, uh, asked her if she’d come down and talk to you.”

Kate frowned. “Why?”

Hannah stopped Victoria as she was about to answer. “May I?”

Victoria shrugged.

“Kate, it’s very nice to meet you,” Hannah greeted her. “And I am so sorry for your loss. Victoria has told me a little about what happened, and I wanted to meet with you to see how I could help.”

Kate cocked her head. “Help how? What do you do?”

“I’m a lawyer. I work for Victoria’s father.” Hannah gestured at the chair in front of her. “May I sit?”

That got the attention of the others. Lynn and Gabriella both watched her as Kate nodded, and Hannah took a seat across from her. “I don’t understand how you can help,” the blonde admitted. “Why do I need a lawyer?”

“If I can speak frankly, Kate, you are what we refer to as a grievously injured party,” Hannah informed her. “You have an exceptional claim for a civil suit.”

“A civil suit?” Kate furrowed her brows. “Against who?”

“The family of the man who was driving the truck.”

“His... family?” Kate asked, confused. “They didn’t do anything. And that man is going to jail. I don’t see how I could sue them.”

Hannah set her bag down on the ground, before opening it and pulling out a few folders. “Did you know that the driver has three DUIs on his record?”

Kate nodded.

“In the state of Washington, after your third DUI, your license is revoked for at least three years,” Hannah stated. “His third DUI was two years ago, so he was driving without a current license.”

“The police told me.”

“Were you aware that the man’s mother purchased the truck he was driving for him?”

Kate blinked. “... she did?”

Hannah opened the first folder and produced a photo of a large black pickup truck, with a lifted body and oversized tires. “My paralegal recovered this from his Facebook page. It’s the truck he was driving that day. The caption states ‘new wheels to replace the old ones’. Followed by the hashtag ‘what the judge doesn’t know won’t hurt him’.”

Gabriella tightened her fist. “That mother fucker,” she growled.

“And that was just this last time,” Hannah added, as she produced more photos. “He’s posted pictures of all the new cars he’s received. And all of them were registered in his mother’s name, under their family insurance policy.”

Kate had a shocked look on her face. “They were?”

Hannah produced another photo. “This is the Mustang he wrapped around a telephone pole two years ago, when he got his third DUI,” she stated, then set it aside and started producing more pictures. “The one before that was a Camaro, which he crashed into an Uber after drinking until three in the morning. His mother paid all the fines, as well as medical costs for the driver and two passengers.”

The last picture was a grey sedan. “The first DUI was a Lexus that he rolled down an embankment off the highway, after getting caught by a speed trap doing a hundred and fifteen miles an hour,” Hannah informed them. “After that, all of his cars were purchased under his mother’s name, so he could avoid dealing with the ignition interlock requirement.”

“Christ,” Lynn muttered. “You have got to be kidding me. How the hell wasn’t he already in jail?”

“What we have is an instance of a rich parent enabling their son’s bad behavior,” Hannah answered. “For every court date, this man had one of the best defense attorneys in Washington at his table. He was always able to get away with the bare minimum sentence, and in some cases, even less than that.”

Hannah closed the folder. “I’ve already secured the photos from social media to use as evidence. We’ll also gather all the police reports, as well as insurance records. You, Kate, have a phenomenal case against this family for your pain and suffering.”

Kate bit her lip. “I don’t want to just take their money,” she muttered softly. “It won’t bring Hector back.”

“No, it won’t,” Hannah agreed. “But it will keep you in this house, regardless of future employment. And ensure that your child won’t have to grow up wanting for anything. You can pay off all your debts while setting up a college fund for your baby.”

“I can’t-”

“_Mamá_.” Gabriella stepped over and laid a hand on Kate’s shoulder. “Don’t take the high road now. Not after what that _bendeja_ did. Hector would still be alive if it wasn’t for her.”

“Think about the baby,” Lynn added. “You wouldn’t have to sell this house. She could grow up here, instead of some apartment.”

Kate squirmed as she dropped her gaze, not speaking for several seconds. Everyone watched her carefully.

“… I spent all our savings on the funeral,” she finally muttered. “I don’t have any money to pay you.”

“I’m not asking for a payment. Or a cut of the settlement,” Hannah added. “Mister Chase has asked me to represent you pro bono.”

Kate glanced back up. “He... did?”

“As I said, you have a exceptional case. I doubt I’ll have much work to do; once the family sees the writing on the wall, they’ll be pretty eager to settle.” Hannah folded her hands in front of her. “I imagine you have some questions?”

“... a few.”

“I’m happy to answer them for you.”

* * *

They didn’t leave for a few hours, as the lawyer walked Kate through everything she asked. The last several minutes were spent getting signatures on various forms.

By the time they finally did leave, the sun had almost completely set. Victoria followed Hannah out to the car, stretching her back; she’d spent too long sitting, and was definitely feeling it.

“Victoria!”

She paused, turning back to the house. Kate was standing in the doorway with something tucked under her arm.

“What?” Victoria asked, concerned, as she turned around. “Do you need Hannah?”

“No.” Kate stepped outside. “I, uh, meant to give you this, before.”

She frowned. “What is it?”

“Here.”

Kate showed her a small hardcover book. It took Victoria a few seconds to realize that it was a children’s book, with very familiar-looking animals on the front. Except this time, they were better-drawn and in full color. “Is… this your first book?” Victoria asked.

“No.” Kate shook her head. “That one’s already on Amazon, and in a couple of stores. But the publisher just finished the first run of my second.” She held it out to Victoria. “I wanted you to have the first copy.”

Victoria accepted it, looking at the cover and recognizing the title; it was the book she’d seen almost three months prior, that dealt with drug abuse.

“Oh. Wow.” She smirked, as she ran her hand over the cover. “Did you autograph it for me? Probably be worth a lot someday.”

“I doubt it.” Kate smirked back. “I did sign it for you. But… I also put something on the back page.”

Victoria opened the book, flipping to the very back. Just above a small paragraph full of copywrite information was a couple of bold sentences.

**For V.C.**

**Because I know she can do it.**

The wave of emotion hit Victoria like a sledgehammer. She blinked her eyes quickly as she looked up. “… Kate, I am so sorry.”

“Victoria-”

“I know about the note they found in your trash can, back at Blackwell. I was the worst person in the world to you. There is no reason I can think of for you not kicking me when I was down, and I sure as fuck wouldn’t have blamed you. I don’t even know why you wanted to help me.” She sniffled as she looked back at the book. “And… God, Kate, I don’t even know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” Kate assured her. “You weren’t well. But you got better.”

Victoria sniffled again, closing and lowering the book. “… I’m still so sorry.”

Kate wordlessly pulled her into a hug. Victoria wrapped her arms around the other blonde’s shoulders, made slightly uncomfortable by her baby bump.

“It’s okay,” she said quietly. “I forgive you.”

Victoria’s lips trembled as she swallowed, trying to maintain her composure. It was several seconds before she could say anything. “Thank you,” she finally said wetly, as she let go. “I’m… really, really glad I could help.”

“Me too.” Kate smiled. “I really can’t thank you enough. And your dad, too,” she added. “Please let him know.”

“I will.”

* * *

**Steph:** Well?

**Victoria:** Kate signed the paperwork. They’ll probably serve dickhead’s family after the holidays.

**Steph:** Good. Will she get enough to keep her in the house?

**Victoria:** Well, according to the lawyer, Kate has a case for lost income, pain and suffering, and emotional distress. And the mother broke the law for her son, technically making her an accessory; she’ll want that kept out of court.

**Victoria: **Apparently, Kate’s looking at an easy seven-figure settlement.

**Steph:** Damn.

**Victoria:** Yea. Wish they could lock up that asshole’s mother, too.

**Victoria:** ... does that make me a hypocrite?

**Steph:** How would it?

**Victoria:** I mean, the guy’s clearly an alcoholic. Not that far removed from an addict, according to you and Max.

**Steph:** The difference is that you’re willing to do things differently. Making better choices to improve yourself. That guy already had three DUIs, and his fourth killed someone.

**Steph:** We can hope that he gets the help he needs, while wishing for the justice system to chew him up and spit him out.

**Victoria:** And his mother?

**Steph:** Your parents might not have realized how much help you really needed, but they at least recognized that you needed it. That woman was an enabler, plain and simple.

**Victoria:** Too bad there’s no law against that.

**Steph:** Agreed.

* * *

**Lynn:** Thank you for helping Kate.

**Lynn:** And I’m sorry I said I wanted to punch you in the face.

**Victoria:** You’re welcome. And... it’s fine.

**Victoria:** As much of a bitch as I was, I’m honestly surprised that nobody’s done it yet.

**Lynn:** Still, Gabriella and I really appreciate it. Kate wouldn’t have ever said anything, but there’s no way she would’ve been able to keep the house without Hector’s income. She was already looking at listing it.

**Victoria:** She shouldn’t have to now.

**Victoria:** Are you and Gabriella living with her? I thought you were in college?

**Lynn:** I have a dorm room, but right now I’m sleeping on the couch until the holiday break is over. Gabriella goes home at night.

**Victoria:** What about your other sister? Jessica?

**Lynn:** Unfortunately had to go home to our mother. She’s still in high school.

**Victoria:** Ah. Your mother seems like a difficult person.

**Lynn:** She’s a raging narcissist. Though she’s bearable most of the time.

**Victoria:** Has Kate spoken to her since the funeral?

**Lynn:** No. She won’t take her calls. Or our dad’s.

**Victoria:** I’m sorry.

**Lynn:** It is what it is.

**Victoria:** Will you let me know if Kate needs anything else? It sounds like you guys have it handled, but if there’s ever anything I can do...

**Lynn:** Sure thing.


	31. Texting!!

**Taylor:** Do you think I should get Victoria something for Christmas?

**Max:** … do you want to?

**Taylor:** Maybe?

**Taylor:** But I don’t know what I would get her.

**Max:** Something small but meaningful, I’d think.

**Taylor:** I don’t know what that means.

**Max:** Like a bracelet or something?

**Taylor:** You aren’t being very helpful right now.

**Max:** I literally JUST saw a thing on Amazon, to help people find Xmas presents.

**Taylor:** I helped make that.

**Max:** Then use it!

**Taylor:** Shockingly, none of the categories are “for a friend who’s a former drug addict that you started seeing again three weeks ago!”

**Max: **Okay, that point, I’ll concede.

* * *

**Steph:** What do you think about this for Max?

**Steph:** <coffee_addict_mug.amzn>

**Victoria:** I don’t know if “Coffee Addict” is a good mug for an addiction counselor.

**Steph:** Okay… what about this one?

**Steph:** <lgbt_mug.amzn >

**Victoria:** It would be the only thing Max owns with a Pride triangle.

**Steph:** Really?

**Victoria:** Yep.

**Steph:** Fine. This one?

**Steph:** <hdm_mug.amzn >

**Victoria:** What in the fuck is that?

**Steph:** It’s Hawt Dawg Man!

**Victoria:** The hell is a hot dog man?

**Steph:** HAWT DAWG! And he’s a super hero!

**Victoria:** … that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.

**Steph:** Excuse you, he is awesome!

**Victoria:** He looks like a walking turd!

**Victoria: **Why is he partially yellow?

**Steph:** WORK HARD, MUSTARD BIG, BITCH

* * *

**Mom:** What’s your budget for your father’s present?

**Max:** I don’t know. Why?

**Mom:** Because this is what he wants for Xmas.

**Mom: **<movie_poster.ebay >

**Max:** Aliens? Is that the scary movie he tried to make me watch when I was a kid?

**Mom:** He did? How old were you?

**Max:** Seven or so. He made me promise not to tell you.

**Mom:** Is that why you wanted the night light?! And had nightmares for two months?!

**Max:** Pretty sure.

**Mom:** … oh, I cannot WAIT until he gets home.

**Max:** Great. Now I guess I have to buy the poster.

* * *

**Victoria:** You think this is a good gift for Taylor?

**Victoria: **<tea_tumbler_thermos.amzn>

**Max:** Yea, that looks really nice.

**Victoria:** Or should I do something bigger?

**Max:** No. The thermos is fine.

**Victoria:** … are you sure?

**Max:** You’re not apologizing to her through your wallet. That thermos is a perfectly fine gift.

**Victoria:** I’m trying to make up for being a shitty friend.

**Max:** And you’re doing just fine without draining your bank account. Get the thermos and call it a day.

* * *

**Steph:** What do you think about this for Victoria?

**Steph:** <sober_af_mug.amzn>

**Max:** What’s AF stand for?

**Steph:** As Fuck.

**Max:** Ah. Okay, that’s pretty cool.

**Steph:** Right? I was trying to find stuff that would match her personality.

**Steph:** It came down to that or this.

**Steph:** <one_day_at_a_fucking_time_keychain.amzn>

**Max:** Oh, that’s hilarious.

**Steph:** I know. It’d be great for her ring of tokens.

**Max:** Those are both good.

**Max:** Can I steal whichever one you don’t buy?

**Steph:** Sure. You can do the mug.

**Max:** Deal.

* * *

**Max:** Are you still interested in getting Victoria something for Xmas?

**Taylor:** Yea. I’ve been looking, but I have no ideas whatsoever.

**Max:** <sober_af_mug.amzn>

**Taylor:** Oh, wow. That’s awesome!

**Max:** A friend found it on Amazon.

**Taylor:** … well, now I feel dumb.

**Max:** I won’t tell anyone :)

**Taylor:** What are you gonna get her?

**Max:** I found a neat metal bracelet that says “just fuckin’ watch me” on the inside.

**Taylor:** So… the Xmas theme this year is sobriety.

**Max:** Well, when you put this much effort into it…

* * *

**Victoria:** I found a gift for Steph.

**Victoria:** <slow_feeder_bowl.amzn>

**Max:** … what is that?

**Victoria:** It’s to help her eat slower.

**Max:** It’s a bowl for dogs!

**Victoria:** It’s funny!

**Max:** It’s embarrassing and demeaning. Fine something else.

**Victoria:** Fine. What about this one?

**Victoria:** <slow_eating_bowl.amzn>

**Max:** That’s the same thing!

**Victoria:** No, it’s for cats. Better, right?

**Max:** This is not a productive use of your break.

* * *

**Derek:** Can I ask you a question?

**Max:** Is it about what you should get Victoria for Christmas?

**Derek:** How’d you know?

**Max:** Call it a hunch :)

**Derek:** Well, my wife and I really are stuck.

**Max:** What’s wrong?

**Derek:** This will hopefully be the first nice holiday my family’s had in years.

**Derek:** We’re still concerned about Victoria. We know she’s doing amazing, and we’re proud of her progress. But…

**Max:** You want to get her something nice, without worrying about her pawning it later if she falls off the wagon.

**Derek:** There’s no good way to say that, is there?

**Max:** Not really. Though given her history, it’s a perfectly understandable concern.

**Derek:** Any thoughts?

**Max:** What’s your budget?

**Derek:** Whatever makes me a good parent.

**Max:** Fair enough. Well, she is still trying to rebuild her wardrobe, so gift cards to clothing retailers would probably be appreciated.

**Max:** Though… I do have one idea, if you’re willing to take a small leap of faith.

**Derek:** What’s that?

* * *

**Max:** Do you want in on the Xmas gift we’re getting Kate?

**Steph:** Sure. What are you getting her?

**Max: **A big thing of diapers.

**Steph:** … little clichéd, don’t you think?

**Max:** There’s a reason for that.

**Steph:** How big of a thing?

**Max: **It’s a 250-pack.

**Steph:** Jesus, really?!

**Max:** Yea? Why are you so surprised?

**Steph:** I didn’t know they made them in that size! Will she even use them all?

**Max:** Dude, newborns go through between ten and fourteen a DAY.

**Steph:** … you’re lying.

**Max:** I don’t know what I get out of lying about this.

**Steph:** People don’t use the bathroom 14 times a day.

**Max:** Newborns without bladder control do. Are you going in with us or not?

**Steph:** Yea, so long as I don’t ever have to help change one.

* * *

**Dad:** I HAVE BEEN BETRAYED

**Max:** Oops.

**Dad: **BY MY OWN BLOOD, EVEN

**Max:** How mad was Mom?

**Dad:** More than I feel was necessary, given that it’s been fifteen years or so.

**Max:** Sorry.

**Dad:** Are you, though?

**Max:** No, not really.

**Dad:** You still coming up on the 24th and spending the night?

**Max:** That was the plan. My patient’s doing the same thing with her family.

**Dad:** Good. We’re re-watching that movie.

**Max:** No!!

**Dad:** Yes.

**Max:** I don’t want to! It gave me nightmares!

**Dad:** You didn’t even finish it!

**Max:** THEY WERE COMING OUT OF THE WALLS

**Max:** I DIDN’T HAVE TO

* * *

**Max:** How’s your Xmas going?

**Victoria:** Not as bad as I thought it would.

**Max:** You guys doing okay?

**Victoria:** Yea. We’re not fighting or anything. It’s actually been the nicest Christmas I’ve had for a while.

**Victoria:** And they gave me a new iPhone.

**Max:** Nice! No more cracked screen!

**Victoria:** I know. I guess you were right, about earning trust back eventually.

**Max:** Told you :)

**Victoria:** Yea, yea. What about you? Get anything good?

**Max:** Eh. My parents are really big on those Visa gift cards. I did get some new earbuds, though.

**Victoria:** Sounds like we’re doing a shopping trip, because I got a Target gift card, too.

**Max:** Gonna try and expand the wardrobe?

**Victoria:** Yep. Might go get a SECOND pair of shoes.

**Max:** Easy there, big baller.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I missed doing texting chapters :)


	32. Kidneys

**Jan 21st, 2020**

**Days Sober:** **233 **

“_I’m afraid it is a requirement for the program, Miss Caulfield._”

Max frowned as she leaned into the couch, balancing her computer on her lap while she listened through her phone. “For how long?”

“_The internship needs to take place over the last two classes. So a little less than eight months._”

“... wow.” Max bit her lip. “I’m sorry, it sounds like an awesome program otherwise. I just don’t know if I can be away from work for that much time. Especially for a minimum-wage internship.”

“_I understand, and I am sorry for that. Unfortunately, on-the-job experience is mandatory for the award of the graduate degree._”

“You’re sure I can’t use my old job as an addiction counselor?”

“_I did ask, but I’m afraid not. The experience must take place over the course of the program._” The admissions counselor paused. “_It doesn’t necessarily have to be for a major hospital; Seattle West is just the one we work with most frequently. Some of our students have found positions at other facilities, closer to the home of a parent or relative they were able to stay with. Do you have any family in town?_”

“My parents live in Kenmore.”

“_Let me take a look here..._” There was several seconds of silence, while Max heard a keyboard clicking away in the background. “_Ah ha. I see there’s an Urgent Care nearby that a former student was able to get a position with._”

“Really?”

“_Yes. A smaller facility, but they do have a mental health team on staff._”

“I can get behind that.” Max nodded. “I might be able to convince my parents to put up with me for a few months. And that’ll satisfy the requirement?”

“_It did for the previous student._”

“Sounds like a winner to me.”

“_Does that mean you’re interested in applying?_”

Max bit her lip. “... maybe not immediately,” she finally said. “I have a long-term commitment I won’t be able to break until summer.”

“_If that’s the case, then I recommend that you look into applying for this year’s fall semester._”

“Could I do that now?”

“_You could. And it’s early enough that you don’t have to worry about there not being a slot available. Would you like me to send you the application instructions?_”

“How much does it cost?”

“_The application fee is a non-refundable eighty-five dollars._”

Max winced. “Lot of money for a gamble.”

“_Truth be told, Miss Caulfield, with your undergraduate GPA and relevant job experience, the program director doesn’t have a reason not to accept you. Don’t quote me, but your application will mostly be a formality._”

“Oh. Well... in that case, I guess it’s eighty-five bucks well spent.”

“_I’ll email you the instructions, then. And please, feel free to call me back of you have any questions._”

Max thanked her before hanging up, then waited a few minutes for the email to appear in her inbox. When she finally opened it, she read through the requirements quickly. _A resume, that should be easy to throw together... Goal statement? What the hell is that? Need to look that up... oh, sweet, I meet the criteria to avoid the GRE. Wasn’t looking forward to that..._

_… assuming I actually decide to do this._

After months of considering, Max had found a graduate program that she liked. But she was still on the fence, about whether or not she was going to do it. Calling the admissions counselor was the furthest progress she’d made. The idea sacrificing two years of her career for more schooling still made her anxious whenever she considered it.

Max was still reading the email when her phone buzzed again. She checked the screen, expecting a message from Victoria; the blonde had mentioned that she might try to take a long shift.

It wasn’t from her, though.

**Steph:** Are you busy?

Max frowned as she typed her reply.

**Max:** Not really. What’s up?

**Steph:** My sponsor’s out of town. And I need someone right now.

**Max:** Is everything okay?

**Steph:** ... not really.

**Max:** Where are you?

* * *

Max pulled up to the curb ten minutes later, getting out of her car quickly.

She shoved her way into the Irish pub, looking around before spotting the brunette. Steph was sitting at a booth against the far wall, her arms folded on the table in front of her. The expression on her face was the definition of ‘crestfallen’.

And a drink was on the table in front of her, beside her cell phone. She stared at the glass of amber liquor intently while her foot bounced rapidly on the ground.

Max walked over, stopping at the table. “... what are you doing?”

Steph didn’t look at her as she answered. “Trying to decide if it’s worth it.”

“If what’s worth it?”

“Not downing this whole thing at once.”

Max decided to make the decision for her; she grabbed the glass and moved it to the far end of the table, pushing it further away as she sat down across from Steph. The brunette didn’t look up. Or move her eyes to follow the glass.

“What’s wrong?”

Steph let out a shaky breath. “My, uh... my mom’s in the hospital.”

Max was taken aback. “She is?”

“Her kidneys are all fucked up.” Steph shrugged. “I don’t remember why. I just know that they’re going bad. Both of them.”

“Ah, shit,” Max muttered. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too.”

“... why aren’t you with her?”

“I have been, for most of the week.” Steph finally looked up. “She needs a transplant.”

“You mom?”

Steph nodded. “But… her blood type is B-negative.”

Max frowned. “What does that mean?”

“That only one-and-a-half percent of the population can donate to her. It’s the second-rarest blood type in the country.” She paused. “Care to guess my blood type?”

“Is it B-negative?”

“Sure is.”

Max tilted her head. “So... what are you going to do?”

Steph sighed. “... nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“Yep.”

Max was confused, but she nodded slowly. “That’s okay, Steph. Donating an organ is a huge thing. I’m sure your mother understands that you might not want to just-”

“I do want to,” Steph interrupted quietly. “I got tested with the rest of my family, as soon as we found out. I’m the only one who came back as a match. I asked the doctor how soon we could get mine out and into her.”

“But... then why are you-”

“Do you know what long-term prescription drug abuse does to your kidneys, Max?”

Max blinked. “... oh.”

Steph sniffled, as she wiped her nose. “Yea. They did follow-up lab tests on me, and, uh... turns out I’m supposed to be on some kind of medication. And the doctor said it’s a fifty-fifty shot that I’ll probably need a transplant myself, when I get to my mom’s age,” she muttered. “I’m not a viable candidate.”

“Shit.” Max leaned on the table. “Steph, I am so sorry.”

“Me too.” Steph wiped her nose again. “My dad and my older brother... they didn’t take it well.”

“What happened?”

“The usual rant about how once again, my selfishness is destroying the family. Except this time, it’s gonna get my mom k-”

Steph couldn’t finish the sentence, before her lips started quivering. She clamped her mouth shut before averting her gaze and squeezing her eyes closed. A tear started slowly sliding down her face as she visibly fought to keep herself from sobbing.

“Hey.” Max reached across the table and grabbed Steph’s hand, squeezing gently. “Steph, look at me.”

The brunette opened her watery eyes.

“Your mother will be fine,” Max assured her. “People are born with spare kidneys, remember? They donate them all the time. I’m sure the doctors will find someone who’s a match.”

“It was supposed to be easy.” Steph’s voice cracked, and she sniffed deeply as she wiped her eyes. “I was there. I was ready. After all the shit I put my family through, I was finally gonna do something useful for once in my life. And instead, I fucked everything up. Again.”

“Again?”

“I, uh...” Steph turned her gaze back to the table, a look of shame on her face. “... I cost my dad his job, back when I was using,” she admitted. “He worked at a video production company. I took his keycard from his wallet so that I could steal stuff from the office, and he got fired for it. I also stole jewelry from my brother’s girlfriend, so she dumped him. Now my mom’s gonna die because of my fuckin’ pill habit.”

“Your mother is NOT going to die,” Max said forcefully. “With dialysis and medical treatment, it can take weeks, even months, for kidney failure to kill someone. They have more than enough time to find a donor.”

Steph snorted loudly as she wiped her eyes again. “... what if they don’t?”

Max took a deep breath. “Then you did everything you could. It won’t be your fault.”

“It will be ENTIRELY my-”

“When did you find out that your mom was having kidney issues?”

Steph snorted deeply, as she wiped the tears from her cheeks. “… last year.”

“You’ve been clean for three years,” Max reminded her. “You had no way of knowing what would happen.”

She scoffed. “Tell it to my dad and brother,” Steph muttered dejectedly.

“Your family’s scared. They’re lashing out, and you’re an easy target.”

“Because I’m the family fuckup.”

“Stop talking about yourself like that. You’re trying to get better.”

“And look at all the good it’s done.”

Max squeezed Steph’s forearms again. “Everything will be okay.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I know that it’s better to be an optimist that a pessimist. In fact, I’m pretty sure you told Victoria that, when you guys first met.”

Steph sighed. “... fuck. Yea. I did.”

They fell silent for several seconds. Max watched out the corner of her eye, as a blonde waitress approached the table. “Are we all good here?” she asked. “Do you girls need anything?”

Max reached over and took the glass of whiskey, sliding it back across the table. “You can take this back.”

“Take it... back?”

“Yea. She doesn’t want it. Give it to someone who’ll appreciate it.”

“Are you sure?” The waitress looked concerned. “That’s Macallan Eighteen. It’s a thirty-dollar drink.”

Max blinked, then glanced at Steph. “... really?”

She shrugged. “Figured if I was gonna throw it all away, I should do it with the good stuff.”

“Ah ha.” Max looked back at the waitress. “We’re sure. I’ll pay for it.”

“Max, you don’t have to-”

“I know.” Max reached into her pocket and pulled out a few bills, laying them on the table. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

* * *

“Are you gonna go back to the hospital?”

Steph scratched her wrist. The two of them had moved to the bench outside the bar, away from the booze. “I want to.”

“But?”

“My dad and brother are still there.” Steph glanced at her feet. “They were pretty clear about how they felt.”

“They’re just scared,” Max reminded her. “I think once they calm down, they’ll be fine.”

“Maybe.” Steph sighed, then thumbed over her shoulder, towards the building. “At the very least, I should probably get away from this place.”

“Do you want me to come to the hospital with you?”

Steph was shaking her head before Max finished the question. “I appreciate it, but... I have to handle this myself.”

“Are you sure?”

“It’s my cross to bear. I can put up with my dad and brother’s judgement for a few more hours.”

“What about your mom?”

Steph sighed. “... I don’t think she knows yet, that the doctors won’t take my kidney.”

“Why not?”

“They put her under for some kind of procedure.” Steph checked her watch. “They said she’d wake up this afternoon. So... I should probably get back.”

“Okay.” Max stood, Steph following suit, then turned and gave her a hug. “Let me know if you need anything.”

“Sure. And... thanks,” Steph added. “For not letting me drink.”

Max smirked. “No problem.”

“Also, if you could not tell Victoria about this, I’d appreciate it.”

“My lips are sealed.”

* * *

Victoria glanced up as Max came through the door of the condo a few minutes later. The blonde was reclining on the couch with her shoes off, her own computer on her lap.

“Hey,” she greeted. “Where were you?”

“Nowhere important.” Max sat down on the love seat with a sigh. “Had to go see someone.”

Victoria arched her eyebrows. “That’s vague.”

“Sorry, am I getting interrogated?”

“You weren’t, until you started acting cagey.”

“Don’t you have a bunch of homework to do?”

“It’s done. I’m working on next week’s assignments.” Victoria closed the laptop. “And don’t try to duck the questions.”

“Questions? Plural?”

“Where you were? Who you were with? What you were doing?”

“Look, Victoria, I was with someone,” Max admitted. “But it was personal. I don’t really want to get into-”

“Was it a girl?”

Max blinked. “What? Why?”

Victoria shrugged. “Just curious if you were out on a date.”

“Christ.” Max pinched the bridge of her nose. “Fine, I was seeing a woman. But it wasn’t for a date.”

“... okay.” Victoria looked her up and down. “Though I should’ve guessed that if it had been, you would’ve called Courtney to ask for fashion advice again.”

“Wha- who told you about that?”

“Taylor.”

“... that little gossip,” Max muttered. “Guess I know who can’t keep a secret.”

“Shit, I could’ve told you that. Taylor’s a huge blabbermouth, especially when it’s embarrassing.” Victoria snickered. “Hope that date went well, at least.”

“Well enough. We were together for six months.”

“Damn.” Victoria leaned back into the couch. “She didn’t want to go the distance, huh?”

“No, she did.” Max sighed. “I was just a really crappy girlfriend.”

Victoria tilted her head. “How so?”

“I spent too much time at the rehab center,” Max admitted. “Sometimes it messed up plans she made. It happened often enough that she decided that she wanted someone who was actually, you know, around and available to spend time with, so she broke up with me.”

“Bummer.” Victoria shook her head. “When was that?”

“About six or seven months ago.”

“... when I got there?”

Max hesitated. “... yea.”

“Shit. You...” Victoria stared blankly. “Your girlfriend broke up with you because you were staying late for my dumb ass.”

“Well, you kind of needed some hand-holding.”

“... fuck.” Victoria averted her gaze. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Yea, it kind of is.”

“No, it’s really not.” Max shook her head. “I was the one who decided to put in eighty hours a week at the center. Even my boss told me that I didn’t need to work as long as I did. Helping you might’ve been the straw that broke the camel’s back, but I was piling everything up for a while before that.”

“I still kind of feel like I should’ve written you a letter, too.”

“Really, Victoria, don’t worry about it.”

Victoria looked back up. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“What I did, back at Blackwell... did it fuck you up?”

Max was taken aback. “What do you mean?”

“I was a raging bitch to everyone, remember? I almost made Kate kill herself, for fuck’s sake, and I know I was only slightly nicer to you.” Victoria absently picked at her fingers. “You said you saw a therapist, and got treated for PTSD. Was any of that my fault?”

“No.” Max’s answer was immediate. “You had nothing to do with that.”

“Max, you don’t have to lie to make me feel-”

“Yes, I had to see a therapist after Blackwell,” Max allowed. “But I saw her for what happened to Chloe. Your name only ever came up as general background, because you and Nathan were friends; how you acted towards me had nothing to do with my treatment.”

Victoria had an apprehensive look on her face. “... you’re sure?”

“Hundred percent.”

“Okay.” Victoria nodded. “I’m, uh, sorry, by the way. For what I did back then. I don’t think I ever apologized for that.”

“No, I don’t think you did.” Max smirked. “I accept your apology. And I appreciate it.”

“Cool.” Victoria exhaled. “We don’t have to hug it out, do we?”

“Not unless you really want to.”

* * *

**Steph:** I finally talked to my mom.

**Max:** ... how’d it go?

**Steph:** I cried. And said I was sorry. A lot.

**Steph:** She said she understood. And that she was still proud of me, for staying clean for so long.

**Max:** She should be. It’s a huge thing you’ve been able to do.

**Max:** What about your dad and brother?

**Steph:** My brother’s still pretty salty about it, but my dad seemed a little more mellow.

**Max:** He probably just needed a chance to calm down. He knows you’ve been doing good.

**Steph:** I guess.

**Max:** What happens now?

**Steph:** She’s on dialysis. And they put her on the donor list for a B-Negative kidney.

**Steph:** I guess you were right, the doctor said they weren’t in a huge rush. We’ve got some time, so my dad’s reaching out to extended family.

**Max:** I’m sure they’ll find one, Steph.

**Steph:** I know. I’m trying to stay optimistic.

**Max: **Will you let me know if you need anything?

**Steph:** Sure.

**Steph: **And seriously, thanks.

**Max:** No prob.

* * *

**Kate:** I signed a settlement offer from the mother.

**Max: **Good. For how much?

**Kate:** I can’t say. The lawyer said that part of the offer is a non-disclosure agreement.

**Kate:** But I sat down with an accountant, and he helped me come up with a plan. I can live off the money for a couple of decades, even after putting enough aside to send my daughter to college.

**Max:** I’m so glad to hear that.

**Kate:** Me too. And I can’t thank you guys enough, for being there for me. Especially Victoria; I never would’ve been able to afford a lawyer.

**Kate:** Where is she, by the way? I tried to call her, and she didn’t answer.

**Max:** She’s at work for another couple of hours, so she can’t answer her phone. But I’ll have her call you when she gets home, if she hasn’t by then.

**Kate:** Thank you.


	33. Cokehead

**Jan 31st, 2020**

**Days Sober: 243 **

“So she’ll keep the house?”

Victoria nodded. “It looks like it. And her kid will be set for college.”

“Awesome.” Taylor leaned back into her seat, a relieved look on her face. The two of them were sitting across from each other as they waited for their food, on another one of their weekly dinners. “I’d love to know what the dollar amount was. I hope that bitch paid through the nose.”

“My understanding is that it was at least seven figures,” Victoria assured her. “I don’t know exactly, on account of the nondisclosure. But she’ll be fine. And she did ask me to thank you, for the card and flowers.”

“Of course. Does she need anything?”

“She’s pretty set.” Victoria smirked. “Her sister Lynn is camped out on the couch, and Hector’s sister Gabriella is cooking all the food she can possibly eat. Apparently, her fridge is crammed full of leftovers.”

“Good. She should have people with her.”

“Agreed.” Victoria scratched her nose. “You know, Max and I drive down to see her every few days. If you wanted to come with us, I’m sure she’d love to see you.”

Taylor bit her lip. “... I don’t know if she would.”

“Dude, I was way more of a bitch than you were,” Victoria reminded her. “She still forgave me. And she has asked about you a couple of times.”

“Did she really?”

“Yep. She thought it was pretty cool, that someone she knew was working at Amazon.” Victoria smirked. “She wanted to know if you get free Prime.”

Taylor scoffed. “Of course I do. And an executive discount on all Amazon-brand products.”

“... really?”

“Twenty percent.”

“Hm.” Victoria tilted her head. “I’m gonna file that info away for later.”

Taylor chuckled as she sipped her soda, then put the glass down. “I’m gonna go use the bathroom. Be right back.”

Victoria watched her get up and go, a smile still on her face.

_I cannot believe how fucking great it is to talk to her again._

The two of them had really reconnected since the meeting in the park. While the first couple of dinners had been kind of awkward, they had gotten much more at ease with every passing week. Victoria was eager to listen to Taylor talk about the latest work she was doing, and Taylor seemed to pay rapt attention when Victoria talked about her sobriety, as well as her job and schoolwork. They’d even started texting more often, during the week.

She sighed happily as she picked up her own glass of soda, taking a drink through the straw.

A buzzing distracted her, and she glanced down. Taylor had left her phone at the table, and the screen lit up with a new text.

**Courtney:** Let me know when you’re done having dinner with the cokehead, so I can wrap up a video call with my boss.

It felt like a punch in the gut. Victoria stared at the screen until it turned black, then dropped her gaze to her lap. She could feel her face flaming up in shame.

_Cokehead._

_… is that all I’ll ever be to her?_

_I wish I knew what to do to fix it._

She was still wondering that question when Taylor slid into her seat. The other blonde frowned as Victoria looked back up. “Are you okay?”

“I...” Victoria paused. “Nothing.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Vic, seriously, what is it?”

She sighed. “I, uh, didn’t mean to snoop. But... you got a text from Courtney.”

Taylor picked up her phone and hit a button. After a few seconds, she sighed heavily, putting the phone back on the table. “... shit.”

“Yea.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s my fault.”

“No, it’s... I...” Taylor bit her lip. “... I’ve told her to stop calling you that.”

“It’s fine, Taylor.”

“It’s really not. I can tell that your feelings are hurt.”

Victoria dropped her gaze again. “... I can’t really be upset with her. Not after what I did.”

“You don’t have to be a doormat, either.”

“Tay, I really don’t have any kind of leg to stand on.” Victoria looked back up. “Do you think she’ll ever forgive me?”

An incredibly pained look came over Taylor’s face. “... I don’t know.”

Victoria picked at her fingers. “Max said that I wouldn’t be able to make things right with everyone. I knew that a few people wouldn’t care for an apology. But... you and Courtney were the only friends I really hoped I could get back."

“Hey.” Taylor leaned forward. “Courtney needs time, Vic. She’ll get over it eventually.”

“I don’t think she will. And I don’t think I can blame her for it.” Victoria paused. “Do you think there’s anything I can do to make it better?”

Taylor looked at her forlornly. “I really wish I knew.”

“... me too.”

* * *

_Don’t bring it up._

_Nothing good will come of it._

Taylor kept her eye on the numbers above the elevator door, as the car rose towards her tenth-floor apartment. Where her friend was staying, while in town for a meeting with a fabric supplier.

_Leave it alone. You can’t force it. _

_... even if she is being a petty bitch._

_Stop. Courtney was the one that had her nose broken. She’s entitled to be salty and unreasonable for a little while._

_Or two months._

She exhaled slowly as the car stopped on her floor and the doors opened, and she made her way to her apartment, unlocking it before slipping inside.

Courtney was sitting at the kitchen table, a glass of wine beside her as she typed on her laptop. “Welcome back,” she said absently.

“Hey.” Taylor dropped her purse on the counter. “What are you doing?”

“Writing an email to my boss. He’s been busting my chops about getting this new supplier locked down.” Courtney picked up her phone from beside her and checked it, then set it back down. “Be nice when he finally gets off my back. I swear he has some kind of condition.”

“Mm.” Taylor shrugged as she got her own glass from the cabinet, then picked up the bottle of wine and started pouring. “I take it the meeting went well?”

“Sure did. Got a killer deal on the material we need for our summer lineup.”

“Congrats.”

“Thanks.” Courtney continued to type. “So, was Vic tweaking off her ass or what?”

Taylor blinked as she set the bottle down.

_... okay, fuck this._

She extended the hand holding her glass, and very slowly tipped it until the wine drizzled out. Straight onto Courtney’s phone.

It took her friend a few seconds to look over at what she was doing. “HEY!!” she shouted as she snatched her phone. “What the FUCK?!”

“Oops.”

“Are you kidding me?!” Courtney grabbed a nearby napkin and frantically dried her phone. “This isn’t mine! It belongs to the company! What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

“Nothing.” Taylor set the glass down and fixed her with a glare. “I’m just getting tired of you being a bitch.”

Courtney stopped and looked at her. “What? Is- are you being serious right now?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, gimme a fuckin’ break.” Courtney folded her arms. “After everything she put me through, I think I’m entitled to-”

“You’re allowed to not like her.” Taylor crossed her own arms, mirroring Courtney. “What you’re doing now? That’s just being a cunt.”

“Aw, I’m sorry I hurt the feelings of the druggie who isn’t here.”

Taylor could feel her face turning red. “She is NOT a druggie!”

“You’re only saying that because you weren’t there when she was getting loaded on a nightly basis.”

“She’s off the drugs, Courtney! She’s CLEAN!!” Taylor exclaimed. “How many times do you have to hear that before you believe it?!”

“Given the number of times she told me that she would stop, I think a few!!” Courtney fired back. “She promised! She swore on her parents! And then turned around and stole money from my wallet to pay off a dealer!!”

“She’s an addict! She needs help!”

“Then she can get it from Max.” Courtney shook her head. “I tried already. Somebody else can give it a go. I’ll pretend to be shocked when she fails.”

Taylor blew air out her nose, as she tried to even her voice. “Victoria has changed,” she finally ground out. “She is not the girl we used to know. If you had spent more than ten minutes with her, and lost the fuckin’ attitude, you’d see it for yourself.” She picked up her purse. “I’m going to bed.”

Courtney was shaking her head as Taylor turned away. “People don’t change,” she said to Taylor’s back. “She’s always going to be a selfish bitch.”

“She saw the fucking text you sent,” Taylor shot over her shoulder. “And I saw how much it hurt. If she was being selfish, she probably wouldn’t have asked me if I knew what she could do to make things better.”

Courtney didn’t reply as Taylor shut the bedroom door behind her.

* * *

It was about nine thirty at night when Victoria came home. Max was laying on the couch, holding her phone as she silently scrolled through Facebook. And tried not to look too longingly at the pictures that were popping up on her feed, of Megan wrapped in the arms of another girl.

Kristen had been part of their social circle, back when they were together. Her and Max had enjoyed a few conversations about OSU after discovering that they had been taking classes a year apart. And now she was tangled up with Max’s ex-girlfriend, on a hiking trail outside of Salem. With the photo caption proclaiming the celebration of their four-month anniversary. Other photos had been posted to the album, showing that they had just moved into an apartment together.

_Jeez. Talk about living up to the stereotype._

Max bit her lip as her thumb hovered over the Like button, not knowing if she should press it or not. Megan had un-friended her when they’d broken up, but Kristen had not; she wasn’t sure what to do.

_... screw it. _She continued scrolling. _I haven’t spoken to either of them in months anyway._

The door opened a few seconds later as Victoria walked in, and Max lowered the phone as she watched the blonde kick her shoes off and deposit her purse on the table. It was very clear by the look on Victoria’s face that something was off.

“Are you okay?” Max asked, as she swung her legs around and sat up.

Victoria shrugged morosely, not replying.

“What’s wrong? Did you and Taylor fight?”

“No. Dinner was fine.” The blonde sighed as she dragged herself over to the couch, sitting down beside Max heavily. “There’s, uh... there’s a joke that I can’t get out of my head.”

“A joke?”

She nodded. “It’s... I don’t remember exactly how it goes, but one guy asks another guy his name. And that guy, he goes off on this rant, about how he’s helped build dozens of buildings, but nobody calls him John the Builder.”

“... okay, what does-”

“And then he says that he’s also the owner of a bar, and he’s worked there for twenty years, but nobody calls him John the Barman, either,” Victoria continued. “And that he’s been going to the same church since he was baptized or something, but nobody calls him John the Deacon.”

“Um...” Max hesitated. “... dare I ask what they do call him?”

“That’s the punchline. He says he’s done all that over his whole life, going back thirty or forty years.” Victoria paused. “Then he says ‘but all you gotta do is fuck ONE sheep...’”

“Wait, what?”

“I think I told it wrong.” Victoria shrugged. “Point is, he did all that cool shit, then fucked one sheep, and now he’s John the Sheepfucker for the rest of his life.”

“Yea, you might want to practice it for later.” Max looked at her quizzically. “What does this have to do with your dinner?”

Victoria bit her lip. “Taylor got a text from Courtney, and I saw it. I guess she’s in town, and staying on Taylor’s couch again. And she, uh...”

Max sighed after a couple of seconds. “What did she call you?”

“... cokehead.”

“Ah. Look, Courtney’s-”

“I know she’s allowed to be mad. I’m not upset at her. I can handle a little bit of name-calling.”

Max tilted her head. “So... why ARE you upset?”

“Mostly because, I think, the realization that no matter how hard I try to make it right, or how long I stay clean, or whatever I do with the rest of my life...” she paused and swallowed. “... I’ll always be Victoria the Cokehead.”

“Hey, HEY.” Max reached out and squeezed Victoria’s shoulder. “No, you will NOT.”

“I spent six years doing blow, Max.” Victoria’s voice cracked, and she snorted deeply as she wiped her eyes. “You and Steph have both said that I’ll be addicted for the rest of my life.”

“That doesn’t matter,” Max said forcefully. “Part of battling your addiction is not letting the drug define who you are. And you’ve already proven, several times, that you’re stronger than the cocaine. You are NOT Victoria the Cokehead.”

She sniffled. “... I am to the people I care about.”

“Okay, come here.” Max slid closer as she reached around and hugged Victoria, who let Max pull her in. But the blonde wound of slumping into Max, and her head slid down into the brunette’s lap.

Max hesitated, figuring that Victoria would sit back upright. But the blonde didn’t move. She actually curled up, tucking her feet up as Max kept a hand on her shoulder.

_Shit. I’ve never seen her this upset. She wasn’t even this bad after that dinner with her parents._

_Then again, they weren’t that harsh to her face._

“You are NOT Victoria the Cokehead.” Max reached down and took her hand, squeezing gently. “You have made an astonishing, herculean effort to turn your life around. There are people still in rehab who would kill to have the inner strength that you’ve shown over the past few months. What you’ve done is incredible, Victoria, and you need to start believing that.”

Victoria sniffled, wiping her eyes with her free hand. “... pretty sure that’s only because of you, Max.”

“I’m just here to help. You’re still the one who has to do the heavy lifting. And you’ve been amazing, Victoria. Hell, more than a few people would say you’re inspirational.”

She turned her head slightly to look up at Max. “... really?”

“Yes. Really.”

Victoria blinked, then turned back to stare at the wall.

“Look, don’t worry about Courtney,” Max assured her. “You’ve been doing great, and I think she’ll realize that eventually.”

“I don’t know if she will, Max,” Victoria muttered. “You heard what she said at the park. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to make it right.”

Max sighed. “... I know this isn’t what you want to hear, Victoria, but sometimes... you can’t.”

“But I really, really want to.”

“I know. I know you do.” Max squeezed her hand again. “Sometimes, addicts hurt people so badly that they can’t make it right. Some people just won’t accept it.”

“... so what do I do?”

“You move forward.” Max shrugged. “It’s all you can do.”

“But-”

“You apologized to Courtney. And paid back the money you stole. You already tried to make things right, and she knows that you want to work on fixing your friendship. Whether or not she decides to do it with you is entirely on her. I’m really sorry, Victoria... but this isn’t an issue that you can force.”

Victoria was silent for several seconds, then sighed heavily. “... I miss her.”

“I’m sure you-”

“She was one of the first people to actually give a shit about me.”

Max blinked. “She... was?”

“Yea.”

“I thought you’ve known Taylor longer?”

“I have. But she was dealing with her mom’s cancer most of the time we were at Blackwell,” Victoria clarified quietly. “The first couple of years, we were mostly focused on her.”

“And Courtney?”

Victoria sighed. “... when she first saw me, in the beginning of my Junior year, I was blackout drunk by myself at a Vortex Club party,” she muttered. “I don’t even remember most of it, other than passing out in a corner somewhere. But when I woke up, I was in her room, on her couch. She’d found me and dragged me back to the dorms, then stayed up to make sure I didn’t choke on my own vomit or something.”

Max frowned. “Taylor wasn’t there?”

“She was with her mom that night. And I don’t think anyone else at the party would’ve given a shit, either. Even Nathan probably would’ve just dumped me in my room and gone back.” Victoria shrugged morosely. “I don’t remember ever not liking Courtney; just, you know, one week she wasn’t hanging with me and Taylor, and the next, she was.”

“I know. When I first saw you guys, it seemed like you’d all been best friends since birth.”

“It felt like it.” Victoria bit her lip. “When I started really getting into the coke, back at UCLA, she tried so hard to get me to stop. Or at least, slow down. Until then, the only reasons I was ever given to cut it out were my parents trying to preserve our family reputation, so having someone who wanted me to get better for me was...”

Max nodded as the sentence trailed off. “I know she tried pretty hard.”

“Yea. She’d flush my coke when she found it, so I stole the money from her to replace it. And then I’d convince her that I was done, so I could sneak off and get loaded without her busting my balls.” Victoria sniffled. “Some fucking friend. Christ, I don’t even know how I can think I deserve to be upset.”

“You’re still allowed to have hurt feelings,” Max assured her. “Courtney shouldn’t have said that. It wasn’t fair.”

“It was a little fair.”

“No, it wasn’t. Not after everything you’ve done to make things right.”

“Mm.” Victoria exhaled slowly. “I still don’t think I’m allowed to blame her.”

“Hey.” Max squeezed her hand. “You are not a bad person.”

“I-”

“Say it.”

Victoria frowned. “Huh?”

“That you’re not a bad person.”

The blonde bit her lip, then took a breath. “... I’m not a bad person.”

“And you’re allowed to be upset.”

“I’m allowed to be upset.”

“And you’re not Cokehead Victoria.”

A small smirk came over her face. “I’m not Cokehead Victoria.”

“Do you believe it?”

“Not really, no.”

“Then keep telling it to yourself.” Max nodded. “Come on. Take some deep breaths, and let’s try to remember that you are not the person you used to be.”

Victoria complied, inhaling slowly. “... I’m not a bad person.”

“There you go.”

The blonde followed her advice, breathing deeply while quietly repeating the mantra to herself. Max continued to hold her hand comfortingly, squeezing on occasion as Victoria muttered to herself. She could practically feel the tension and anxiety leave Victoria as the minutes stretched on.

Max wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, but several minutes passed before she realized the blonde hadn’t said anything for a while. “Victoria?” she asked quietly, leaning forward to get a look at her face.

She was asleep.

_... great._

Max debated rousting her, but decided to wait as she leaned back into the couch.

_I’ll just give her a few minutes._


	34. Double Shift

**Feb 1st 2020  
Days Sober: 244**

The beeping of an alarm startled both of them awake.

Max jerked back upright, blinking at the intrusion into her dreams as Victoria flinched awake. The blonde’s head was still in her lap, and she slowly pushed herself upright to retrieve the cell phone from her pocket.

“... Jesus,” Victoria remarked as she silenced her phone. “It’s eight o’clock.”

“Oh.” Max looked at the wall clock. “Yea. It is.”

“Have I been here all night?”

Max rubbed her eyes. “... so it would appear.”

“I can’t believe I fell asleep like that.” Victoria paused. “Or that you didn’t shove me out of your lap.”

“You, uh...” Max squirmed as she scratched at her neck. “You kinda passed out really quickly. I guess I was right behind you.”

“So you fell asleep sitting up?”

Her face slowly started to flush. “By accident.”

“Why didn’t you wake me?”

“... I don’t know.”

Victoria looked like she wanted to ask more questions, but she fell silent. After a few seconds, she looked at her lap. “... thank you. For, you know, listening to me bitch, and not telling me to get over my ego.”

Max smirked. “That is why I’m here. But... you’re welcome.”

“I’m pretty sure my dad isn’t paying you for this level of hand-holding.”

“Eh. The contract was non-specific.”

Victoria smirked back, then stood upright. “I should shower. My shift starts in an hour.”

“Mm.” Max yawned. “… I’m going to bed. I’m still tired.”

“I bet. I’ll see you this afternoon.” Victoria paused as she turned for her bedroom, looking back at the brunette. “... I really am glad that you’re here, Max. I don’t know if I’d be able to do this without you.”

Max didn’t get a chance to respond as Victoria left closing the door behind her. She stood after a few seconds and walked into her room, curling up on the bed as she tried to fall back asleep.

It was difficult. Especially once Victoria left for the restaurant. The condo, for some reason, felt too empty without her.

* * *

**Feb 2nd, 2020  
** **Days Sober: 245**

Victoria tried not to think too much about the text.

Working helped. The restaurant had lost a couple of waitresses, and her manager asked if anyone was available to pick up a double shift. With an upcoming tuition payment, as well as a desire to further expand her wardrobe, Victoria had volunteered.

It had seemed like a good idea at the time. As the day ran long, and she approached the fourteenth hour on the job, she spent most of her time mentally kicking herself.

“My feet are fuckin’ killing me,” she muttered as she leaned against a wall, shaking first one foot, then the other. “Christ.”

“I don’t know how the hell you’re doing it.” Another waitress looked at her pitifully. “Your toes are going to fall off tomorrow.”

“I’m not sure, but one might have already.” Victoria stood upright, wincing as her feet throbbed. “Twenty more minutes, and then I can Uber the three blocks home.”

The waitress snorted. “Not in the mood to walk any further?”

“I lost that mood five hours ago.” Victoria patted her apron to make sure she still had her notepad, then straightened up. “Might as well get back to it.”

She swung by the kitchen and retrieved food for one of her tables, then put on her best customer service smile on as she brought it out. Pretending to laugh at one of the diner’s jokes helped her forget about her feet for a few seconds, as she carried the tray away.

Halfway to the kitchen, she watched the hostess seat a woman at one of her tables. After dropping off the empty tray, she made her way back, removing the notepad from her apron. “Good evening!” she said cheerfully as she got closer. “Welcome to... the...”

Courtney was looking up at her.

Victoria blinked as the two girls stared at each other for several seconds.

“Hey,” Courtney finally greeted her, in a small voice.

“... hi.” Victoria slowly lowered her notepad. “What are you doing here?”

“I, uh... I wanted to see you.”

Victoria sighed. “To make sure I really do have a job?”

“No.” Courtney paused. “Though I was kind of interested to seeing you actually waitressing.”

“Are you satisfied?”

“Not as much as I thought I’d be.” She bit her lip. “Can we... talk?”

“I’m working.”

“Do you have a break or something?”

Victoria considered her answer carefully. Not knowing what Courtney wanted, she was very hesitant to have a conversation at her place of work.

But she also had an extreme desire to talk to her former friend.

_And if I can make things better..._

“... I get off in fifteen minutes.”

“I can wait.”

* * *

When Victoria came back, she’d shed her name tag and thrown a jacket over her blouse. Courtney was still at the table, with two glasses of water in front of her, and watched the blonde approach with guarded eyes. Victoria slowly slid into the seat across from her.

“You’re done for the night?”

“Yep.” Victoria sighed, as she practically melted into the chair. “Finally off the clock after fourteen hours.”

Courtney furrowed her brow. “You’ve been here for fourteen hours? Since seven this morning? This place doesn’t open until nine.”

“We came in early to help prep. And I have a tuition payment coming up. I need the money.”

“I thought your parents were paying your tuition.”

“My parents are paying for the condo. And living expenses. And Max’s time.” Victoria shook her head. “Everything else is on me.”

Courtney leaned back. “I didn’t know that.”

“Well... it’s been a while.”

“... yea. It has.”

Victoria bit her lip. “Not that I don’t want to see you, Courtney, but... why are you here?”

The black-haired girl took a few seconds to answer. “To see if Taylor was right.”

“About what?”

“If you really have changed. And you aren’t the same girl who broke my nose at UCLA.”

Victoria immediately dropped her gaze. “Courtney, I swear, I am so sorry for what I did.”

“So you’ve said.”

“I know. But I mean it.”

Courtney folded her arms. “You swore to me a lot back at UCLA, too. That you were done with the drugs, that you didn’t take any money from my purse, that you were out studying instead of getting loaded…”

“… yea. I know.” Victoria scratched the back of her neck. “I don’t have any excuses, Court. I was a shitty friend, and a worse human being. And if I could take it all back, I’d do it in a heartbeat.”

The black-haired girl studied Victoria intently, like she was trying to read her mind. “What did I do wrong?” she finally asked.

“Huh?”

“I flushed your drugs. I tried to force you to quit. Hell, I did everything short of make a deal with the devil, and I strongly considered that, too.” Courtney exhaled slowly. “Given everything that happened at UCLA, I never thought you’d stop doing coke.”

“... to be fair, it hadn’t almost killed me yet.”

“That doesn’t help.” Courtney leaned back in her seat. “What did I fuck up, that Max did better?”

“You didn’t fuck up.” Victoria’s response was immediate. “I did. You were trying to help, and I wasn’t smart enough to listen.”

“Then… what?”

Victoria sighed. “I... kind of had a come-to-Jesus moment with Max about what I was like, back when I was high. She pointed out that my being a shitty human being hadn’t actually gotten me anywhere. And it cost me literally everything but a half-full duffle bag and the clothes I was wearing when I overdosed.”

Courtney listened silently.

“I spent a while thinking about what she said. And why nobody was willing to even consider talking to me. I think that was when I realized what I’d actually done to you and Taylor.”

“What, you didn’t know before?”

“Honestly, Courtney, I never really thought about it. I spent most of that time moving from one line to the next.” Victoria shrugged. “I knew what I did was pretty bad. But the impact of losing you and Taylor didn’t really hit me until later, when Max pointed out that everyone had essentially given up on me. I mean, Christ, Taylor thought that Max was calling to let her know I was dead.”

Courtney hummed. “Can you blame her?”

“No.” Victoria met her gaze. “I can’t blame either of you for thinking the worst of me. Not when I’ve done everything to deserve it.”

“... yea.” Courtney fidgeted in her seat. “Um… Taylor told me that you saw the text I sent her.”

Victoria glanced down at the table without speaking.

“I, uh, wouldn’t have sent that if I’d known you were going to see it.” Courtney paused. “Though now that I say that out loud, I realize that it doesn’t make it better.”

“Like I said, Court, I can’t really blame you.”

“You don’t have to. Taylor just about dumped a bucket of paint over my head when she got back from your dinner.”

“... I didn’t ask her to do that.”

“I know.” Courtney pursed her lips. “Can we both agree that while I was being kind of a bitch, I’m still allowed to hate you a little?”

The corner of Victoria’s mouth twitched up in a half-smirk, for a second. “Yes.”

“Good. And... I really am glad that you’re sober now.”

“Me too.”

Courtney looked her up and down. “I guess I owe Taylor an apology, too. She’s right, you barely resemble the girl I knew from UCLA.”

“Yea, well, a couple of the Twelve Steps are about recognizing and changing shitty behaviors.”

“Wait, you’re actually doing the Twelve Steps?”

Victoria shrugged. “Whatever keeps me sober.”

“Fair enough.” Courtney hesitated. “I... guess if you can do it, I can try and stop being shitty, too. So... I’m sorry, for what I said.”

“Oh.” Victoria blinked. “... thanks.”

“And, uh... I’m getting on the road to go back to Portland, when I leave here. But I’ll be back next month, to finalize a contract with a new fabric supplier.” Courtney scratched at her hand. “I know you and Taylor get dinner on Saturdays. Next time I’m in town, is it cool if I maybe... go with you guys?”

Victoria’s heart leapt into her throat, and she swallowed forcefully while trying to maintain a neutral expression. She couldn’t keep a smile from her face, though. “... I’d really, really love it if you did, Court.”

* * *

**Max:** I hear you’re finally being less of a bitch.

**Courtney:** Oh, fuck you.

**Max:** To be clear, if Victoria comes back from dinner upset, and it’s your fault? Taylor pouring wine on your work phone will be the least of your problems.

**Courtney:** What, you’re gonna sic that Steph girl on me?

**Max:** No. But you’ll wish I had.

**Courtney:** Look, you want me to say it? You and Taylor were right, and I was wrong. She is different.

**Courtney:** I’m still not 100% about letting her back in my life. But I’m willing to see her again, and maybe find out.

**Max:** That’s all we asked for.

**Courtney:** Yea, well, she broke my nose after making my freshman and sophomore year hell. I’m allowed to spend some time being a bitch.

**Max:** You didn’t have to go out of your way to antagonize her.

**Courtney:** I’m sorry, are you under the impression that YOU have the moral high ground here? After using Kate to manipulate Taylor into that first meeting?

**Max:** No. But I’m pretty sure that my spot on the hill is still higher than yours.

**Courtney:** Fine. I’m still a little bitter. I lashed out. I’m confident that she understands.

**Max:** That’s because it was my lap she was crying into, not yours

**Courtney:** ... she was?

**Max:** I don’t think you fully grasp how desperate Victoria is to make things right with you. Even if it means being your punching bag.

**Max:** You’re allowed to still be mad, and nobody says you have to forgive her. But you lost the high ground when you turned mean.

**Courtney:** Yea. I know. That’s why I wanted to talk.

**Max:** And are you going to be civil at dinner?

**Courtney:** I will tiptoe around Her Highness’s feelings for ninety minutes. She won’t come home upset because of me.

**Max:** ... fine.

* * *

**Lynn:** Next Thursday, 3pm.

**Max:** Jesus, really? I thought we’ve have more notice.

**Lynn:** Us too. The OB/GYN said it’s about time, though. He doesn’t want to wait any longer than that without inducing.

**Max:** We’ll be there. What about Hector’s family?

**Lynn:** Gabriella will be there. His parents are a soft maybe.

**Max:** Your mom? Jessica?

**Lynn:** ... I don’t think so.

**Lynn:** I mean, if Jessica can get away, yea. I already texted her the info. But Kate is very clear that she doesn’t want to see our mother for a long time.

**Max:** Can’t blame her for that, after the funeral.

**Lynn:** Also, Gabriella and I are planning a post-baby shower for a few weeks afterwards. You guys are all invited, of course.

**Max:** Me and Victoria?

**Lynn:** And someone named Steph?

**Max:** Victoria’s sponsor. She was at the funeral, too. And another Blackwell alumni.

**Lynn:** Wow, did everyone in Oregon go to the same high school or what?

**Max:** LOL

* * *

**Mom:** Max, are you okay?

**Max:** Um... yea?

**Mom:** You’re not in trouble or anything?

**Max:** Not that I know of. Why?

**Mom:** A process server came to the house this afternoon looking for you.

**Max:** A what now?

**Mom:** Someone who delivers legal paperwork. You’ve got a court summons here on the kitchen table.

**Max:** A court summons? What for?

**Mom:** I don’t know. It’s addressed to you. Your father took it, but he says we’re not allowed to open it.

**Max:** Why did he take it?

**Mom:** Because we don’t know where you’re staying, remember?

**Max:** ... right.

**Max:** Will he be my lawyer for five minutes and tell me what it says?

**Mom:** He said he will if you want him to.

**Max:** Yes, please.

**Max:** ... well?

**Mom:** He says you need to call him, sweetie. As soon as you can.


	35. Alice

**Feb 21st, 2020  
Days Sober:** **264 **

“I really, really hope she doesn’t ask me to hold her.”

Steph frowned as she looked at Victoria. “Why?”

“Other than a crippling fear that I’ll drop her or something?”

Across from them, Max rolled her eyes as the three of them sat in the hospital waiting room. “I’m sure you won’t drop the baby, Victoria.”

“I might, Max. I’m really NOT good with babies.”

“And how many have you really interacted with?”

Victoria hesitated. “... none.”

“Yea, that’s what I thought.”

“Dude, just cradle the head and hold on tight,” Steph assured her. “She was just born. She won’t be squirming like an octopus.”

Victoria looked at her crossly. “And how many babies have YOU interacted with?”

“More than you, apparently.” Steph paused, glancing at Max. “Were we supposed to bring... I don’t know, gifts or something?”

“No.” Max shook her head. “I asked Lynn if she needed anything, but she said they had it covered. We’re doing the post-baby shower in a couple of months.”

“Which Taylor got an invite to, by the way,” Victoria mentioned.

“She did?”

“So she said.” Victoria leaned back in her chair. “She sent me a text freaking out about it. She does want to go see Kate, so she can apologize in person and feel like less of a bitch. But she said it feels like she’s being called onto the carpet, to answer for her crimes.”

Steph cocked her head. “Were you guys really that bad at Blackwell?”

“... more so me than her,” Victoria answered quietly. “But Taylor was a willing participant, even if she wasn’t the ringleader.”

“Well, Kate’s forgiven you,” Max reminded her. “I’m sure it won’t be much of a stretch to forgive Taylor. She has asked about her a few-”

She was interrupted by a jingle on her phone, and quickly checked the screen. “Sorry,” she muttered as she stood, typing rapidly as she walked away.

Steph frowned as Max rounded the corner, out of sight. “That was... sudden.”

“Yea. She’s been doing that a lot for the past couple of days.” Victoria shrugged. “Maybe she’s got a new girlfriend.”

“You think so?”

“I don’t know. What else might it be?”

“She might have a family member in the hospital. Or she might be doing something related to her grad school thing.” Steph paused. “Maybe she’s plotting the assassination of a public official.”

Victoria raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Hey, man, you never know.”

The door behind them opened, and they turned as Lynn walked out of the Mother-Baby unit. “How is she?” Victoria asked as they stood up.

“Good. A little tired. But doing pretty well, all things considered.” Lynn nodded. “She’s ready to see you guys. Where’s Max?”

“On the phone. I’m sure she’ll catch up.”

* * *

Kate definitely looked beat when they walked into her room. But the petite woman still found it in her to smile when they appeared, as she shifted the bundle in her arms.

The only other person in the room was Gabriella; Lynn had mentioned that Hector’s parents were on their way to the hospital, but hadn’t made it yet. As Victoria closed the door behind them, she noticed the table beside Kate’s bed, on which sat a framed picture of her fiancé.

“Hey guys,” Kate greeted them, clearly tired.

“Hey, Kate.” Victoria smiled as they approached the bed. “How are you?”

“Exhausted.” Kate glanced behind them. “Where’s Max?”

“She had to take a phone call. I’m sure she’ll be here in a few minutes.” Steph walked over to peek into Kate’s arms. “... wow, she’s adorable.”

Victoria had to agree. The infant was sleeping peacefully, wrapped in a white blanket with a pink hat over her head, and was extremely cute. “How’s she doing?”

“Good. The doctors said she’s perfect.” Kate looked down at her baby. “She fell asleep about an hour ago.”

Steph smirked. “I’ve never raised one, but my understanding is that peaceful sleeping isn’t something you should get used to.”

“I know. I read the books.”

Victoria sat in a chair by the bed, Steph following suit. “You sure you’re okay?” she asked, glancing at the framed photo. “Do you need anything?”

Kate sighed, as she looked forlornly at the picture. Hector was all smiles in the photo, as he wore a nice suit at what looked like a wedding. “... yes,” she muttered. “But nothing anybody can give me.”

“Oh. OH!” Gabriella started digging into her purse, drawing everyone’s attention. “_Caray._ I knew I was forgetting something.”

“What is it?” Lynn asked.

Gabriella produced a cylindrical candle in a glass jar, a picture of a female saint on the outside. “It’s... something our parents did,” she explained, standing up to set the jar down beside the framed photo. “_Mama_ lit one after each of us were born. After he found out you were pregnant, Hector asked me to pick one up next time I was in _Mejico_.”

Kate blinked. “He never told me that.”

“He wanted it to be a surprise.”

Victoria leaned forward. “Who is that? On the candle?”

“Saint Philomena. The patron saint of babies.”

Gabriella produced a lighter and ignited the wick. They watched the flames flare up slightly as it caught.

Kate slowly smiled as she watched the candle burn. “... I like it.”

“He knew you would’ve, _Mamá._”

The door to the room opened, and everyone turned to watch Max slide in. “Sorry,” she said quietly.

“Hey, Max.” Kate sniffed, wiping her eyes. “Everything okay?”

“Yea. Sorry. I just had to handle something.” Max made her way over to the bed to get a look at the baby. “God, Kate, she’s beautiful.”

“Thank you.”

“What’s her name?”

Kate inhaled slowly, as she looked down. “I haven’t decided yet,” she admitted. “Hector and I... we were still trying to pick a name when he...”

Victoria felt her heart lurch as Kate glanced at the photo again. Everyone silently waited for her to say something.

“The doctor said I have a little bit before I have to pick.” Kate looked back at the others. “... any ideas?”

Steph raised her eyebrows. “You want to crowd-source a baby name? From US?”

Max, Lynn, and Gabriella all snorted in amusement as Kate’s face flushed. “I’m- I mean- look, I’m drawing a real blank!”

“Yea, Kate, as flattered as we are, I for one don’t want the burden of picking a name for a baby that isn’t mine,” Victoria explained with a smirk on her face.

“I was just asking for advice!” Kate huffed, then sighed as she looked back at her daughter. “... I really don’t know what to do. Hector only had a couple of ideas.”

“What were they?”

“One was Rose.” She glanced at Gabriella. “He said she was your grandmother?”

Gabriella looked pained. “She wasn’t a nice person, _Mamá._”

“Hector seemed to like her.”

“That’s because he was too young to remember her throwing plates at _abuelo_. Trust me, better to pick a different one.”

“Well, he also liked Lola.”

The others all exchanged glances silently.

“Although I didn’t,” Kate added after a few seconds.

“Oh, thank God.” Steph put her hand over her heart. “I don’t anyone would’ve had the courage to say anything, if you had.”

Kate cracked a smirk at that. “What about Vina? He mentioned it, once.”

Victoria frowned. “Vina? That sounds... I don’t know, weird.”

“True. How about Clarissa?”

Lynn winced. “I hope he was kidding when he said that one.”

“... that was actually one of mine.”

“Then I hope YOU were kidding.”

Kate rolled her eyes. “Well... what about Alice?”

Everyone hummed as they looked at each other. “That’s a good one,” Gabriella allowed. “Alice Marsh-Gonzales. Has a nice ring to it.”

“Yea. I could totally get behind having a little niece named Alice.” Lynn nodded. “Who was she?”

Kate squirmed. “She wasn’t any-”

“Wasn’t that the name of your rabbit back at Blackwell?” Victoria blurted out.

The others glanced between her and Kate, as the smaller blonde bit her lip. “... yes,” she finally admitted.

Lynn raised an eyebrow. “Your love of that book is starting to get a little concerning, big sis.”

“It’s... not the book.” Kate glanced at Victoria. “Look, I don’t want you to feel bad, but... Blackwell was a rough time for me, if you remember.”

Victoria averted her gaze. “... sorry.”

“I know you are. It’s okay. But through that whole year, Alice was one of the few bright spots I had. Every time I felt terrible about anything... holding her would make it better.” Kate looked back at the baby. “And honestly, holding her right now... it’s the first time in weeks that I haven’t felt miserable.”

Gabriella smiled, as she squeezed Kate’s shoulder. “I think it’s good, _Mamá_,” she assured her. “Hector would’ve loved it.”

“I hope so.” Kate took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. “So... who wants to hold her first? Victoria?”

The blonde squirmed. “I, uh... I don’t think I’ve ever held a baby before.”

“Really? Never?”

“I don’t have any siblings. Or cousins.”

“Well, now’s your chance.” Kate smiled. “Come on.”

Victoria was extremely hesitant as she stood. “... are you sure?”

“Of course. Here, make sure you support her head.”

She took the baby very carefully, doing as Kate said. She held Alice close, cradling the baby tightly. Other than a slight wriggle, the baby showed no signs of being disturbed by the handoff.

“... she’s so tiny.”

Steph smirked. “I think everyone starts off that small, in the beginning.”

“I know. That’s insane.” Victoria glanced at Kate. “She’s going to be as big as you one day.”

Kate smiled. “Probably taller. Nobody in Hector’s family is under five-ten.”

“Lofty goals.”

Max’s phone buzzed in her pocket, drawing everyone’s attention as she checked the screen. “I’m sorry, I have to take this,” she said quietly as she stepped out.

Lynn frowned. “That was weird.”

“Yea, she’s been doing that for the past couple of days.” Victoria looked back at Alice. “Okay, this isn’t as terrifying as I thought it would be.”

“Terrifying? What were you scared of?”

“Dropping her, mostly.”

Kate snorted. “Well, you know, I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t. She’s kind of fragile, at the moment.”

“And on that note, it’s someone else’s turn.” Victoria looked at Steph. “You’re up.”

* * *

The phone calls and texts didn’t get less frequent as the day went on. Even as she drove home, Max’s phone continued to vibrate in her pocket, and she checked her phone at all the red lights.

Even as they got off the elevator, and walked towards the condo, Max got another phone call. “Sorry, I’ll be right inside,” she said apologetically as she answered.

Victoria went in and started their dinner, a frozen pizza. Max didn’t come back inside until after it had been removed from the oven.

“Okay, who have you been talking to?” Victoria asked, as she cut the pizza into slices.

“Nobody.”

“You’ve been on your phone all day with nobody? Yea, right.”

Max sighed. “I don’t want to get into it.”

“Is it a new girlfriend?”

“No.”

“Is someone in your family sick?”

“No.”

“Are you arranging the assassination of a public official?”

Max was taken aback. “What? Where the hell did that…” he voice trailed off. “Steph?”

“Maybe.” Victoria smirked as she handed Max a plate and sat down with her own. “Come on, you left Kate’s room for your phone twice. Whatever it is must be important.”

“... it is.” Max looked at the table. “But I still don’t want to get into it.”

“Well, something’s clearly eating at you.” Victoria picked up a slice of pizza, blowing on it before she took a bite. “I mean, I know you’re supposed to be helping me, not the other way around. But if you wanted to talk about it...” she left the sentence hanging.

The brunette pursed her lips, then slowly heaved a sigh. “... I don’t. I was avoiding it because this isn’t a conversation I wanted to have with you, while you’re still in recovery. But I can tell you’re not going to let this go, so... fine.”

“While I’m in recovery? What does that have to do with anything?”

Max inhaled slowly. “It’s... Nathan.”

“Na-” Victoria blinked as she stared at Max, a look of shock on her face. “Nathan Prescott? From Blackwell?”

“Yea.” Max bit her lip and dropped her gaze. “You know he’s been in an Oregon prison for the past few years, right?”

“I remember reading about his sentence. Twenty years to life for murder.”

“Right. Well, I don’t know if you’ve been aware, but his lawyers have been trying to get him a new trial.”

“Why?”

“They’ve been claiming that his confession never should’ve been admitted, because he was under the influence of drugs. And that he wasn’t in his right frame of mind.” Max glanced back up. “Or something like that. Most of this legal stuff goes right over my head.”

“That’s...” Victoria’s voice trailed off. “They can’t do that.”

“Apparently, they can. And did. A judge agreed to a new trial.” Max exhaled slowly. “A few days ago, a process server went to my dad’s house to deliver a legal notice to appear.”

“Notice to appear? Appear where?”

“At the trial, back in Oregon. I’ve been talking and texting with a prosecutor and my dad, about legal stuff and what I’ll have to do.”

“Why? What do they want YOU for? You have nothing to do with it!”

“I have everything to do with it.” Max looked at her stoically. “I was in the bathroom when it happened, remember?”

Victoria looked back at her in shock. “So... you...”

“I was the only other person there, Victoria. I’m the prosecution’s key witness.”

* * *

**Joyce:** You were right. David and I got our own notices this afternoon.

**Max:** I’m so sorry, Joyce.

**Joyce:** Don’t apologize, kiddo. It’s not your fault. We can blame the blood-sucking lawyers.

**Max:** My dad might take offense to that insult.

**Joyce:** I’ll apologize if he does. Have you been talking to him?

**Max:** Yes. And he’s been talking to the prosecutors on my behalf.

**Joyce:** What has he said?

**Max:** Nothing I didn’t already know. I think he was actually trying to get me out of it.

**Joyce:** I take it that didn’t work.

**Max:** Not so much. Is David okay?

**Joyce:** A little upset. We both are. We thought this was done.

**Max:** It should be.

**Max:** I just hope what I say gets Nathan locked back up.

**Joyce:** Me too, kiddo.

* * *

**Victoria:** I think Max needs help.

**Dad:** ... I didn’t realize you had this number.

**Victoria:** I got it out of Max’s phone. I know I’m not really supposed to be using it, and I’m sorry. But this is important.

**Dad:** Why does Max need help? Is she okay?

**Victoria:** Do you remember Sean Prescott?

**Dad:** I’m not likely to forget him. Though it isn’t for lack of trying.

**Victoria:** How rich is he now? I know he was pretty loaded, back then.

**Dad:** Well, we haven’t really kept up. But if memory serves, he’s not nearly as wealthy as he used to be.

**Dad: **I don’t know if you were paying attention back then, but when his son killed that girl, the state police took the case due to alleged impropriety between Sean and the Arcadia Bay police department. During the investigation they found a LOT of questionable activities that the Prescott family was tied to.

**Victoria:** I never heard about that.

**Dad:** Well, nothing much came of them. With enough money and lawyers, you can stonewall a prosecutor’s office into oblivion, should you be so inclined. They ultimately settled for some sizeable fines, and the termination of a few business ventures.

**Dad:** But that effort cost him a lot of money. And business relationships. Not to mention paying for Nathan’s criminal defense, which was rather expensive.

**Victoria:** So he’s on the ropes, financially?

**Dad:** Relative to what he used to be, yes. Though he still has a fair amount of cash at his fingertips.

**Dad:** What does this have to do with Max being in trouble?

**Victoria:** Nathan’s lawyers got him a new trial. It’s starting soon, though I don’t know exactly when.

**Victoria:** And Max is the key witness against him.

**Dad:** Oh, my.

**Dad:** She did say that it happened right in front of her. Didn’t she testify at the original trial?

**Victoria:** Apparently not. I guess it wasn’t necessary.

**Dad:** What are you worried about, exactly? It sounds pretty straightforward. She watched him kill that poor girl.

**Victoria:** Because I’ve met Sean Prescott. And I know how important his family legacy is to him. I wouldn’t put it past him to interfere.

**Dad:** You really think she’s in danger?

**Victoria:** Like I said, I wouldn’t have texted if it wasn’t important.

**Dad:** I’m going to talk to some people here. I may text back if we need something.


	36. Suite

**Mar 9th, 2020**

**Days Sober:** **281**

“I really want to go with you, Max.”

Max shook her head, as she zipped up her suitcase. “No.”

“I can get out of work. It’s only for a few days, and I can get by without the money.”

“You don’t need to be there, Victoria. Like you said, it’s only for a few days.”

“Yea, and you’ll be testifying against Nathan Prescott.” Victoria folded her arms. “I know how this subject affects you, Max. I’ve heard you wake up screaming, remember?”

“Okay, I wasn’t screaming, I was…” she hesitated. “… yelling.”

“Oh. Sorry. That’s much better, to wake up yelling instead of screaming.”

Max stood upright, placing her hands on her hips as she looked at Victoria, the blonde standing in the doorway of her room. “In case you’ve forgotten, I’ve been hired to help you, not the other way around.”

“I know you don’t need help. I want to be there for my friend.” Victoria paused. “We are friends, right? Even though my dad’s paying you to be here?”

The brunette’s face softened. “Of course we are, Victoria. Come on.”

“Well, you’ve been here for me, keeping me sane. I want to return the favor.”

Max sighed. “... it doesn’t matter. It’s four hours away. I want you to stay here, so you don’t miss any NA meetings.”

“I haven’t missed one in six months, so I think I’ll be fine if I miss a couple. And now you’re just making excuses.”

“That doesn’t-”

A knock at their door distracted them. “Who is that?” Max asked.

“I dunno,” Victoria replied in what Max found to be a suspicious tone of voice. “Let’s see.”

Max walked out of her room as Victoria opened the door. A familiar man was on the other side. “... Brad?” Max asked incredulously.

He smiled. “Good morning, Max.”

“What are you doing here?”

A puzzled look came over her face. “I’m… here to take you to the airfield, so we can board the plane.”

“Plane? What plane?”

Brad glanced at Victoria. “I was under the impression that she knew.”

Victoria smirked as she shook her head. “I wanted to make sure she wasn’t in a position to say no.”

“Ah ha.” Brad turned back to her. “Well, Max, we’ve arranged for a plane to bring you back to Oregon.”

“Excuse me?” Max said incredulously. “I’m not flying to Oregon. I’m driving. I was about to leave. And what the hell does my trip have to do with Derek, anyway?”

Brad cleared his throat. “The way Mister Chase sees it, Max, you represent a significant investment of his money for your services, and the job you’ve been hired to do isn’t finished,” he explained. “Therefore, it’s in his best interest to ensure that you’re taken care of. He wants to make sure that nothing happens to you while you’re there.”

“Nothing happens to me? What does that-”

“You’re the only eyewitness in a murder trial,” Brad reminded her. “The father of the man you’re testifying against is moderately wealthy, and has motive to keep you from the stand. Our analysts have decided that the risks involved are too great for us to simply leave your fate to chance.”

She blinked. “... you guys have analysts for this kind of thing?”

“Mister Chase employs people of many different specialties,” Brad answered evasively. “With their conclusion, I’ve been charged with your safety while you’re away from Seattle.”

“I thought you were Derek’s assistant.”

“I am. As I’ve told you, I do whatever Mister Chase needs of me. And I’m the most qualified employee for the task at hand.”

“And my dad is still paying you to keep me sober,” Victoria added. “So rather than accept a break in services, I’m going with you.”

Max looked between the two of them, before focusing on Victoria. “... how long have you known about this?”

“A couple of days.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before now?!”

“Because I knew you’d refuse.”

Max could only imagine how frustrated she looked. “... this is seriously not cool to spring on someone.”

“Oh, whatever. Like you were really looking forward to a four-hour drive.” Victoria turned and opened her bedroom door, pulling a packed duffle bag from behind it. “Let’s get this show on the road."

* * *

They both followed Brad downstairs, to the waiting black sedan. He took Max’s luggage, and directed her to the back seat as he loaded it.

She was closing the door as he proceeded to accept Victoria’s bag. “If I may, Miss Chase,” he said in a low voice, “your father didn’t mention that you would be going to Oregon with her.”

“He probably would’ve, if I’d told him.” Victoria shrugged. “Are you gonna rat me out?”

“Not my business.” He loaded her luggage and closed the trunk. “Though I will be mentioning it, when I update him later.”

“Yea, but not until we’re in Oregon, right?”

“I suppose I have no reason to call him now.”

* * *

**Dad:** A private jet? Really?

**Max:** Yea. A nice one, too. I’m on the in-flight Wi-Fi.

**Dad:** Okay, I am very green with envy.

**Max:** You should be. I don’t think I can ever fly coach again.

**Dad:** I will admit that I’m a lot less worried now. You must be making a hell of an impression on your patient’s family, for them to give you a bodyguard.

**Max:** I have been informed that they like me more than most people.

**Max:** I still didn’t expect this, though. They’re even putting us in a suite.

**Dad:** A suite?

**Max:** Yea. At the Crowne Plaza.

**Dad:** Okay, whatever you did to make friends with these Uber-rich folks, you need to make sure you keep doing it.

**Max:** I’m not selfish, Dad.

**Dad:** I’ve stayed at that hotel, kiddo. Say that again once you’ve seen the suite.

* * *

“... shit.”

That was all Max could say as she looked around the room, as Brad led the two of them inside. She’d stayed in a few hotels before, but never a suite, and certainly nothing on the top floor.

“Careful, Max, you’ll trip over your jaw,” Victoria snickered as she walked in behind her.

“This is...” Max glanced at Brad. “Are you sure we’re in the right room?”

He smirked. “I don’t think the card would’ve worked if we weren’t,” he said as he closed the door behind them, looking around. “Yea, this’ll do.”

“This can’t be cheap, Brad. I don’t want Derek to spend this kind of cash on-”

“It’s the best option for your safety,” he interrupted. “We needed accommodations with multiple bedrooms for the three of us, at a hotel that understands discretion, with secured parking for our vehicle. The Presidential suite meets all that criteria.”

“Do I even want to know what the nightly rate is?”

“Max, I’ve seen Mister Chase spend upwards of a hundred thousand dollars on far more frivolous things that this, with much less thought. I assure you, a few days in this room is less than a drop in the bucket for him.”

She sighed, taking in the room. She stepped over to the large picture window, which overlooked the city. “... I guess I shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth,” she allowed. “This is a nice view. Probably beats anything they were going to put me in.”

“Gross.” Victoria shivered. “It was probably a Motel Six. Or someplace where they charge by the hour.”

Max shot her a look. “Careful, your entitlement is showing.”

“A desire to avoid bringing home bedbugs is self-preservation, not entitlement.”

“What time is your meeting with the prosecutors tomorrow?” Brad interrupted.

Max checked her phone. “Nine, according to the email.”

“Then I’ll make sure the car is ready by eight-fifteen.” He looked at Victoria. “I assume that you’ll be staying here?”

“I mean...” Victoria hesitated. “I… kind-of wanted to go check out the trial. I know it started yesterday.”

Max frowned. “What for?”

“It’s...” She scratched at her neck. “I wanted to see Nathan.”

“You wanted to...” Max blinked. “Why?”

Victoria sighed, as she glanced out the window. “Because he used to be a friend. One of my best friends, even. And I haven’t seen or spoken to him since he’s been arrested.” she glanced back at Max. “I know he did a terrible thing. And he deserved to every second he’s spent in prison. But he wasn’t in a good place when it happened. And… part of me just wants to see if he’s gotten better.”

Max pressed her lips together. “… I understand.”

“Thanks.”

“But Chloe was my best friend. So you’ll forgive me if I don’t share the sentiment.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Brad informed them. “They won’t let you in to see the trial, Miss Chase. It’s in a closed court.”

Victoria raised her eyebrows. “Seriously?”

“Yes. Judge’s orders. Only lawyers and relevant persons will be allowed inside.”

“I thought all criminal trials were public. Why is it closed?”

“I don’t know.” Brad shrugged. “If I had to guess, to avoid the media. But this isn’t my area of expertise.”

“... great.” Victoria turned and dropped into a couch. “Then I guess I’ll be in here most of tomorrow.”

“You could do that paper you’ve been procrastinating on,” Max reminded her. “Eight pages on what it means to be a global citizen.”

“I could throw myself off of the balcony, too.”

* * *

**Max:** … you may have been onto something.

**Dad:** Nice hotel, right?

**Max:** Nicest I’ve ever been in.

**Dad:** How high up are you?

**Max:** Top floor. In the Presidential suite.

**Dad:** … wow.

**Max:** I know. I’m not even sure when some of this stuff it. I mean, the bathtub has BUTTONS on it.

**Dad:** They’re for the jets.

**Max:** Jets?

**Dad:** The water jets. Or air jets. Little nodes in the tub that massage your back.

**Max:** Wait, really? That’s a thing?

**Dad:** I know we didn’t spoil you as a kid, but you’ve never seen a tub with jets before?

**Max:** No! When would I have?!

**Dad:** Well, now, apparently.

**Max:** I’ll text you back in a few minutes.

**Max:** Or an hour.

**Dad:** An hour, huh?

**Max:** Know what? It’s been a long day. Let’s talk tomorrow.

* * *

**Derek:** You went with Max to Portland?

**Victoria:** ... yes.

**Derek:** Why?

**Victoria: **Because she’s my friend. And I wanted to be there for her.

**Derek:** Don’t you have school? And work?

**Victoria:** It’s an online school, Dad; I can do it from anywhere. And tips have been really good, so I’m ahead on my tuition.

**Derek:** I still don’t know if you being there is a good idea.

**Victoria:** Look, I know I’m still cut off. I’m sorry if you think I took advantage of the situation to get myself back into a five-star hotel suite. I’ll pay you back for my part of the room.

**Dad:** Victoria, I don’t think that little of you.

**Victoria:** ... anymore?

**Dad:** You’ve put in a lot of effort over the past nine months. I’m still worried for you, and scared that you might slip. But I know that you’re serious about what you’re doing. That’s not my concern.

**Victoria:** Then what is?

**Dad:** Putting aside Max’s safety, and yours by association? What happened at Blackwell affected you, too. From what Max has told me, it was the tipping point.

**Dad:** Should I be worried about bad memories?

**Victoria:** No.

**Dad:** Are you sure?

**Victoria:** It was a long time ago. I’m not gonna have flashbacks.

**Victoria:** I just want to be here for Max. After everything she’s done for me, it feels like I owe her that much, at least.

**Dad:** You don’t owe her, Victoria. I’m sure she’s mentioned how well we’re compensating her for her services.

**Victoria:** And with everything I put her through, nobody would’ve blamed her if she punted me to the curb. This is something I really want to do, Dad.

**Dad:** ... I suppose it’s too late to say no, even if I wanted to.

**Dad:** But please, sweetie, be careful.

**Victoria:** I will.


	37. Prescott

**Mar 10th, 2020**

**Days Sober: 282**

Max slipped out of the door to the conference room, exhaling heavily as she sagged her shoulders.

Brad sat up in the chair across the courthouse hallway. “How was it?”

“Lousy.” Max plopped down into the chair beside him. “And just... so damn tiring.”

“I imagine.” Brad checked his watch. “You’ve been in there for three hours.”

“And I felt every second of it.” Max rubbed her forehead. “They gave me the third degree, really went at it. Said that I can expect something like that on the stand, because they’re expecting the other side to try and undermine my credibility.”

“Makes sense. You are the only witness to what happened.”

“Yea. Still, I suppose it’s better than trying to have me killed.” She glanced back at Brad. “You aren’t, like, REALLY concerned about that, are you?”

“We agreed that it’s highly unlikely. There’s only one person who would have the motive to do it, and he’s at least smart enough to know that he’d be the first suspect. But we also agreed that, as unlikely as it is, the odds are still too high for our comfort.” Brad paused. “Besides, Victoria’s made a great deal of progress under your supervision, and it’s not likely that any other counselor would have the same effect, which essentially makes you irreplaceable. Mister Chase ultimately decided that the risk wasn’t worth it.”

“Mm.” Max leaned back in her chair. “… I still don’t think a bodyguard is necessary.”

Brad smirked. “Very few people do, until proven otherwise.”

The door in front of them opened and a female lawyer walked out, a concerned look on her face. “Are you okay, Max?”

“I’m fine.” She dragged a hand down her face. “Just tired.”

“I bet. Henry can get very intimidating, but you held you own pretty well.” She smiled. “Why don’t you go back to your hotel. We won’t need you until tomorrow.”

Max nodded as she stood, Brad standing with her. “Is the trial in session right now?” she asked.

“It is.”

“When are Joyce and David Madsen testifying?”

“I believe they’re doing it today.”

“Can I see them?”

The lawyer shook her head. “I’m afraid not. If the defense attorneys found out that they spoke to you regarding the trial before you testified, then we’d face accusations of impropriety. We have to keep you all separate.”

Max sighed. “… okay.”

“Come on, Max.” Brad gestured down the hall. “Let’s head back.”

She waved goodbye to the lawyer as she followed Brad. “I’m starving,” she mentioned. “Any chance we can stop at a drive-through on our way back?”

“We could, if you want,” Brad agreed. “Or we can get room service when we get back to the suite.”

“I don’t want to waste any more of Derek’s money than we already have.”

Brad chuckled. “I wouldn’t worry about it, Max. He won’t miss twenty bucks for a room-service dinner.”

“I know he won’t. It’s more of the principle.”

“If you say so.” He looked at her as they walked. “Can I ask a question?”

“Sure.”

“How did you get Mister Chase to ask you to call him Derek?”

“Um...” Max frowned. “Well, it was over the phone, when Victoria first got to rehab, and I was discussing her with him. Asking questions, really.”

“That’s it? What did you ask him?”

She thought back. “I think I asked him when he’d last told Victoria he loved her.”

“... huh.” Brad looked at her thoughtfully. “Interesting.”

“What does that mean?”

“This shouldn’t be a surprise to you, Max, but most people tend to tiptoe around Mister Chase.” They rounded the corner, heading towards the elevator. “There are only a few people in the company who are comfortable telling him when his ideas and strategies are flawed, and they’re all executives who’ve worked with him for at least a decade. Even then, they tend to be very… political, I suppose, in how they speak around him.”

Max smirked. “Well, he is a super-rich CEO.”

“Exactly. You, on the other hand, have known him for only a few months, but you don’t care about his money or position, and aren’t hesitant in the slightest when it comes to pointing out his failures.” Brad nodded. “I think he respects you more for that.”

“Really?”

“If there’s one thing I’ve come to learn about the extremely wealthy, Max, it’s that they see the value in someone who doesn’t have issue telling them when their baby’s ugly. And there are very few people around Mister Chase who are as direct with him as you seem to be.”

She hummed. “... I never thought about it like that.”

“As I said, interesting.” Brad shrugged as they got closer to the elevator. “Any preference on where you’d like to stop on the way back?”

“Not really.” Max shrugged as the elevator sounded off a _ding_ in front of them. “Burger King sounds good, but if there’s anything closer, then-”

The elevator opened, and a middle-aged man with glasses appeared. He only got a couple of steps out of the car, before he immediately locked eyes with Max.

She the hair on the back of her neck stand on end, as an involuntary shiver made it’s way up her spine. The look he gave her was one of complete derision and contempt; she felt like the man was evaluating whether or not she was something to scrape off his shoe. And his eyes pierced through hers, almost straight into her soul. She actually stopped walking, because the man’s expression was so disconcerting, and her heartrate shot up in alarm.

But she only got to see it for a second, before a hand was on her shoulder. In the blink of an eye, she was pushed sideways into another office, and Brad physically maneuvered her so she was standing against the wall.

“Stay here,” he ordered her in a clipped voice. “Don’t move. Or speak.”

With that, he left as quickly as he’d moved, slamming the door behind him.

Max stood frozen against the wall, not sure what had just happened. She clutched at the hem of her hoodie as she waited quietly, not daring to breath more than she had to. Through the frosted glass window of the door, she watched the man with glasses slowly walk down the hall before stopping in front of Brad; he appeared to be exchanging a look with her bodyguard.

Nothing happened for several seconds.

Then he started walking again, passing Brad and the door. He eventually faded out of view.

Brad opened the door a couple of minutes later. He grabbed Max’s arm, pulling her back into the hall and silently but intently pushing her towards the elevator. Gone was his cheerful and easy-going demeanor; he was now moving with a sense of urgency, clearly alert as he scanned their surroundings while walking. He pushed her all the way towards the back of the elevator car before hitting the button for the parking level.

The walk to the car was the same. He guided Max quickly by her shoulder and elbow to their spot, though he didn’t open the door for her until he walked around the vehicle twice, checking under the car on both sides. Once he was satisfied, he put her in the back seat.

“Put your seat belt on. And stay down,” he ordered her as he turned the car on. They peeled out of the spot with a squeal of rubber.

Max did as she was told, sliding down in her seat as far as the seat belt would let her. They were out of the garage a couple of minutes later as he drove them away from the courthouse.

“We’re not stopping for food,” he told her. “We’re going back to the hotel until court tomorrow. You can order room service.”

“... okay.” Max swallowed. “Um... who was that?”

He looked at her through the mirror, surprised. “You don’t know who that was?”

“I’ve never seen him before. Have you?”

“No. But I was given a photo before we left Seattle.” He took a turn, checking all the mirrors as he did so. “That was Sean Prescott.”

“Sean... Prescott?”

“Yes.” He nodded. “Nathan’s father.”

* * *

“Holy shit.”

Max nodded as she picked at her fries. “I know. I never realized that I didn’t know what he looked like.”

“Well, I guess you wouldn’t. He didn’t go to Blackwell very often, even before everything happened.” Victoria leaned forward onto her elbows. “Did he say anything?”

“No.” Max shook her head. “But...”

“What?”

“He just... looked at me like I was a bug.” Max shivered. “Like I was something to be squashed. It was actually really intimidating.”

“Yea, I know. You might’ve thought Nathan was scary, but Sean makes him look like a schoolyard bully.”

“I didn’t realize that you knew him.”

“Nathan and I were good friends, Max. I met his father a few times.” Victoria shifted uncomfortably. “If you knew what it was like growing up in Sean Prescott’s house, you’d probably have a little bit of sympathy for Nathan.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” Max dropped the uneaten fry from her hand. “And I actually am glad that Brad’s here with us, now that I’ve met him.”

As if on cue, Brad walked out of the other bedroom, sliding a cell phone into his pocket. “I spoke to the head of security at the courthouse,” he mentioned as he sat down. “Sean Prescott never should’ve been on that floor, so they started looking into it.”

“And?” Max asked nervously.

“He didn’t say anything when asked. But according to one of the family’s lawyers, Sean walked onto that floor by accident. He was trying to get back to the courtroom after a break.” He shook his head. “It’s just plausible enough that the prosecutors won’t bother bringing it up in court. Though they’ll have a couple of officers meet us in the parking lot when we arrive tomorrow, just to be safe.”

Max sighed. “Okay.”

“Are you? Okay?” Victoria had a look of great concern on her face. “For real?”

“I don’t have a choice but to be okay,” Max reminded her. “Last thing anyone needs is for me to be a nervous wreck when I go to court tomorrow.”

“I really wouldn’t worry too much, Max,” Brad assured her. “After you take the stand and say your piece, there won’t be any more incentive for him to shut you up.”

“You think so?”

“What good would it do? Once your testimony is over, it’s part of the record. It can’t be un-done.”

“What about revenge?” Victoria asked.

“Revenge is only useful if it serves a purpose, such as intimidation. Sean Prescott has very few people left in his circle that he needs to intimidate, especially in as precarious of a situation as he’s currently in. And once again, he’s the only person in the world with a motive to see Max hurt.” Brad shrugged. “Besides, his reach doesn’t extend very far these days. By most standards of wealth and influence, he’s a minor player at best. Even in Portland.”

Max hummed. “You seem to know a lot about this sort of thing.”

“Well, my unit spent a lot of time keeping the peace between various tribes in Afghanistan. The fashion and language might change, but it’s still the same dialogue.” He stretched his arm out, rotating it slowly. “Look, I wouldn’t give it much thought. This suite is being rented under a corporate name that isn’t associated with Mister Chase, so nobody knows we’re here. And we weren’t followed back to the hotel. You’ll be perfectly safe, trust me.”

* * *

**Steph:** How’s Max?

**Victoria:** She’s fine, from what I can tell. Having a bodyguard does a lot for your sense of security.

**Steph:** I’ll take your word for it. She testifies tomorrow?

**Victoria:** Yep. We fly back the day after.

**Steph:** Not gonna stick around to see the end of the trial?

**Victoria:** I don’t think they want to risk her being here longer then she has to.

**Steph:** Fair enough. Plus we can find out the verdict in Seattle anyway.

**Victoria:** Exactly. How’s Kate doing?

**Steph:** She’s good. Lynn’s officially moved into the guest room.

**Victoria:** Tired of the couch, is she?

**Steph:** Little bit. Kate’s letting her use her car to go to classes, in exchange for helping with Alice.

**Victoria:** What about her mother?

**Steph:** Apparently there was something of a fight when Lynn went back to get her stuff. And an angry phone call. I’m not privy to all the details, but I don’t think Alice is going to meet her grandmother for a long time.

**Victoria:** Well, play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

**Steph:** That’s what Gabriella said. Only there was more Spanish.

**Steph: **_Puta _means what I think it means, right?

* * *

**Dad:** How are you feeling?

**Max:** I don’t know. Nervous. Anxious. Little terrified out of my mind.

**Dad:** Are you gonna call us after court?

**Max:** Depends on how it goes, I guess.

**Dad:** We’d really like it if you called us anyway.

**Max:** Really, Dad, I’ve got enough people worrying about me as it is.

**Dad:** We’re your parents, sweetie. It’s our job to worry about you.

**Max:** ... I know.

**Max:** I am so ready for this to all be over.

**Dad:** Hey, just remember, you’re gonna nail this shithead to the wall tomorrow.

**Max:** Wow. Little strong, Dad.

**Dad:** Hey, Chloe might’ve been your friend, but she was like a second daughter to us. That little fucker can rot in hell.


	38. Testimony

**Mar 11th, 2020**

**Days Sober:** **283 **

Victoria was worried.

Max had told her that her testimony was supposed to start at nine o’clock. It was now after four in the afternoon, and there had been no word from the brunette or Brad as to how things were going. Victoria alternated between watching TV with the sound off and pacing in front of the window, playing furiously with her fidget cube as she frequently checked her phone.

_Over seven hours now._ She let out a slow breath as she looked over the city, trying not to worry too much. _Does it normally take this long? I mean, I know she’s the key witness, but still, seven hours’ worth of testifying? That seems way too long._

_Okay, stop it._ She spun the disc on her fidget cube as she rapidly flipped the switch back and forth, the clicking helping to settle her mind. _It’ll take as long as it needs to. Letting yourself freak out isn’t going to make the time go faster._

_... Christ, I almost wish I’d gone to law school, so that I’d know this stuff._ She smirked. _Probably would’ve been a shitty lawyer, though._

Sighing heavily, she dropped down on the couch and un-muted the TV, trying to focus on the news program while mindlessly playing with her cube.

After a while, she had to use the bathroom, and got up to do so. While she was washing her hands, she heard the suite door open and close. She perked her head up and quickly started to dry them, though she heard another door open and close before she finished.

Brad was the only one in the main room when she walked out. “There you are,” she said, looking around. “What took so long? And where’s Max?”

“In her room.” Brad sighed as he took off his suit jacket and draped it over a chair. “I think she’s upset.”

“Why? What happened?”

“I don’t know. They wouldn’t let me in to watch her testimony.” He shook his head. “But she didn’t speak the whole ride back.”

“She didn’t say anything?”

“Not a word. Just stared out the window.”

“... shit.”

With that, Victoria made her way to Max’s door. She debated knocking, but wound up just pushing the door open.

The brunette was curled up on her bed, still wearing her shoes, leaning into the pillows and facing away from her. She made no movement to turn around at the intrusion as Victoria stepped inside, closing the door behind her. After a few seconds, she walked around the bed, climbing in to face Max.

Tears were silently streaming down her face, as Max looked at her without actually focusing on her. Looking into her eyes, Victoria felt like she finally understood the meaning behind the phrase ‘thousand-yard stare’. The brunette didn’t acknowledge her presence in any way.

After a few seconds, Victoria reached up and took Max’s hand. The brunette finally blinked and focused on her at the touch.

“I’m here, Max,” she whispered. “Everything’s okay.”

Max’s lips trembled, and she turned her face into the pillow as she sniffled deeply and started shaking. Victoria pulled her closer and Max curled into her, pressing her face into the blonde’s shoulder. She squeezed Victoria’s hand in a death grip as she hyperventilated, trying to hold back sobs.

It took her almost twenty minutes to stop.

* * *

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Max shrugged at the first words either of them had uttered in almost half an hour. She was still resting her head on Victoria’s chest as she stared at the opposite wall. Victoria had one arm around her shoulder, the other clutching Max’s hand tightly.

“Might make you feel better.”

“... using my words against me is really annoying,” Max mumbled, so quietly Victoria could barely hear her.

“I know.”

The brunette sighed. “I, uh... I didn’t think it was going to be that bad.”

“What happened?”

Max quietly described her testimony. The multitude of questions posed by the prosecutor, as he walked Max through the events of October seventh. The photography class with Jefferson, walking down the hall to use the bathroom, stepping out of sight to take a photo of a butterfly.

Then, in painstaking detail for the jury, she’d been asked to walk through the shooting.

“It felt like I was back in that bathroom,” Max said hollowly. “They told me that they were going to go in-depth, but... I thought I’d be fine.”

Victoria squeezed her shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“... yea.”

“Then what?”

Max sniffled again. “I got cross-examined by the defense in the afternoon.”

“They bought up the shooting again?”

“I wish they had.”

“What? Why?”

“It probably would’ve been easier.”

* * *

“_Miss Caulfield, how well did you know the victim, Chloe Price?_”

“_We’re... I mean, we were best friends growing up, before I moved to Seattle._”

“_Had you spoken to her since then?_”

“_... not really. We fell out of touch._”

“_Would it shock you to learn that Miss Price was involved in drug dealing?_”

“_What?! No she wasn’t!_”

“_We have affidavits from a Mister Frank Bowers where he admits that Miss Price ran errands for him on numerous occasions for money. Money that she used to re-pay her debts to both him and another drug dealer named Damon Merrick, who’s since gone missing._”

“_Chloe wasn’t a drug dealer!_”

“_How would you know? I thought you two had fallen out of touch._”

“_Objection, your honor, the defense is badgering the witness._”

“_This goes to the witness’s credibility, your honor. She claims to have known the victim very well, but not well enough to know that Miss Price was a drug dealer._”

“_Overruled. But ease up, counselor._”

“_Very well, ma’am. Now, Miss Caulfield, were you also aware of Miss Price’s lengthy criminal record?_”

“_That doesn’t have anything to do with what happened!_”

“_Really, Miss Caulfield? Are we supposed to believe that it isn’t possible that Miss Price entered that bathroom to threaten and extort my client? That their fight was in self defense?_”

“_Chloe didn’t have a gun!_”

“_Are you sure? Because the gun wasn’t registered to my client, either._”

“_That’s not-_”

“_Are you currently prescribed SSRI medication, Miss Caulfield? Medication commonly used to treat depression and panic attacks?_”

“_I... I haven’t taken those in months-_”

“_But you still have active prescriptions? Zoloft and Paxil, correct? Ever since your senior year of high school?_”

“_Objection, your honor! Miss Caulfield is NOT on trial here, and her medical history is irrelevant to the matter at hand!_”

“_Counselor, I also don’t see how the witness’s prescribed medications are relevant._”

“_It’s relevant, your honor, because prolonged use of those medications is shown to affect cognitive function. To include memory impairment._”

“_That’s- I have not-_”

“_Please be silent, Miss Caulfield. Counselor, unless you have proof of those allegations, the jury is going to be instructed to disregard your line of questioning._”

“_Your honor, I’d like to present these affidavits from several notable doctors, affirming that memory loss is a known side effect of Miss Caulfield’s medication. I think it’s very important for the jury to understand that Miss Caulfield’s testimony is not the iron-clad truth the prosecution has led them to believe._”

“_... very well._”

“_Objection, your honor!_”

“_The jury will decide for themselves what to make of Miss Caulfield’s testimony, Prosecutor._”

“_Thank you, your honor. Now, Miss Caulfield, back to what you think you saw-_”

“_I did see it! I saw Nathan kill Chloe!_”

“_Your honor, I’d like to ask that I be allowed to finish asking questions before the witness answers._”

“_Miss Caulfield, no more outbursts. Let him finish._”

“_Thank you. Now, Miss Caulfield, why didn’t my client see you in the bathroom that day?_”

“_... I was hiding behind the stall._”

“_Where you supposedly couldn’t be seen._”

“_Yes._”

“_Why were you hiding? Why didn’t you reveal yourself?_”

“_Because... they were arguing, and I didn’t want to let them know I was there and-_”

“_You were actively attempting not to be seen by my client, or the victim?_”

“_... yes._”

“_Then how did you see what happened?_”

“_I- wait, what?_”

“_Were you hiding, trying to stay out of sight? Or were you peeking your head around the corner of the stall, where you could be seen in a school bathroom that measures less than two hundred square feet?_”

“_I was watching him! I saw him shoot Chloe!_”

“_Did you? Or is it a possibility that your medication has affected your memory?_”

“_No! I remember what happened! I can’t ever forget!_”

“_You don’t think it’s possible, Miss Caulfield, that with a memory impaired by more than half a decade of SSRI medications, that you can’t remember Miss Price threatening my client’s life with a gun she stole from his house? That my client, in an attempt to defend himself, managed to overpower her in the struggle and tragically killed her?_”

“_NO!!_”

“_Objection! Counsel is testifying and speculating!_”

“_Sustained. The jury will disregard the defense’s previous statement._”

“_I apologize, your honor. Now, Miss Caulfield, I would appreciate it if you told us how you knew that it was your friend Chloe in the bathroom that day. After you hadn’t spoken to her in years, and she’d completely changed her hair color._”

* * *

“... Jesus Christ.”

Max sniffled as she closed her eyes. “Yea. It, uh… didn’t get any better.”

Victoria gave her a tight hug. “Max, I am so sorry.”

“Thank you.” She paused. “... was Chloe a drug dealer?”

“Huh?”

“You knew her, when she was at Blackwell. I didn’t.” Max swallowed. “Is it true?”

“... I don’t know.” Victoria exhaled slowly. “I don’t think so.”

“You’re not sure?”

“I’m sorry.” She bit her lip. “I know she used to smoke pot. She always seemed to have some on her. And I know she was tight with Frank Bowers. But I never saw her sell anything for him.”

Max sagged into Victoria’s shoulder. “... so, she might’ve been.”

“Hey.” Victoria squeezed Max’s hand. “Bowers is the floating turd in humanity’s gene pool. You don’t take what he says with a grain of salt, you use the whole goddamn shaker.”

“You think he was lying?”

“I think last I heard, he’s doing ten years in prison for selling Jefferson and Nathan the drugs they used to take those fucking pictures. And if you paid him enough, he’d probably swear that the Pope touched him in the shower.”

Max finally cracked half a smirk, though it quickly vanished. “But... Chloe did hang out with him.”

“He was the town’s drug dealer, Max. Half of Blackwell was hanging out with him.” Victoria sighed. “I don’t know if Chloe worked for him or not. But I never saw anybody buying drugs from her. And I never saw her with a gun. That whole story smells like a line of bullshit spun by a lawyer desperate to get his client out of prison.”

“... okay.” Max sighed. “Hope the jury think so, too.”

“I’m sure they will.” Victoria nodded. “Feel better?”

“A little.”

“You want to get some room service?”

“Not really hungry.”

“Then you want to stay here and give Brad an interesting story to tell my dad later?”

Max snorted. “Not gonna be that interesting.”

“Hey, it’ll be the second time we’ve fallen asleep together. Some would say you’re establishing a pattern.”

“Well, I’ve already seen your boobs, so you’re not wrong.”

Victoria blinked. “… I had my back turned.”

“You remember that there’s a mirror on your dresser, right?”

“Shit.” Victoria felt her face redden a little bit. “I forgot about that.”

“Yep.”

“Mm.” She slowly smirked. “You know, in those internet videos, this is where I say that it’s your turn to show me yours, and then the bad music starts.”

Max wrinkled her nose. “Nice.”

“Hey, you started it.”

“Fair enough.” Max looked up at her. “... thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“And for coming down here with me,” she added. “You were right. I don’t think I would’ve been able to deal with this on my own.”

Victoria smiled. “I’m sure you would’ve managed.”

“I doubt it.”

“I don’t. If anybody could’ve, it’d be you.”

Max slowly smiled back. Victoria found her heart skipping a beat as she watched at the brunette’s face, looking up at her as she rested her head against her shoulder. Her eyes still rimmed red and watery, and the trails left by her tears still visible on her freckled face.

She kind of wanted to kiss her again.

_DON’T._

_She was VERY clear. She’s your sober companion, and she’s vulnerable. This is not-_

_... lips._

She blinked. The feeling was still there. Lips on hers. The brunette’s eyes closed in front of her.

Victoria was kissing Max.

No.

Max was kissing HER.

_... fuck it._

Victoria kissed back, her hand moving to the back of Max’s neck and getting tangled in the brunette’s hair. Max gripped Victoria’s shoulder tightly as they pulled themselves closer together, the blonde savoring the feeling of Max’s mouth on hers.

She wasn’t sure exactly how long they spent like that; a few seconds, or a few minutes, the time seemed to fly past. Either way, it ended with the sound of a phone ringing.

The two of them both flinched, startled, and they separated while gasping for air. They both stared at each other for a few seconds before Max looked down, fishing her phone from her pocket. She took one look at the screen and sighed, answering the call. “... hey, Dad.”

Victoria sat upright as Max rolled over, laying on her pillows. “I know. I remember, Dad. I’m sorry I didn’t call I was just... I wasn’t feeling well.”

She listened for a few seconds.

“Yea. For a few hours.” Max bit her lip as she looked at her lap. “No. It, uh... it kind of sucked.”

_ ... I should probably leave._

Victoria got out of bed wordlessly. Max watched her as she walked around the bed, though she made no move to get up herself. She continued to talk to her father as Victoria left, closing the door behind her.

Brad looked up from his seat on the couch, where he’d been working his phone. “How is she?”

“She’s...” Victoria hesitated, as she searched for the right words. “... better. She’s on the phone with her father.”

“Okay.” Brad nodded. “It was a good thing you came, I think. She needed someone to talk to after today.”

_... among other things._

“I’m gonna order some food. And get Max her burger.” Brad leaned forward and plucked the menu off the coffee table. “You want something?”

“Yea. I’ll order when you’re done.”


	39. Trouble Sleeping

Victoria lay in her bed later that night, unable to sleep.

The rest of the evening had been quiet, after Max had finally left the bedroom. She’d eaten in silence, pointedly not looking at Victoria, then quietly announced that she was tired and going to back to bed.

Brad retired to his own room a couple of hours later, and Victoria had gone to hers not long after that. She’d been staring at the ceiling ever since, trying to figure out what she was supposed to think about what had happened.

_She was perfectly clear a few months ago. This is professional, nothing more._

_And today was really, really shitty for her. Digging up Blackwell all over again, being torn apart in court by those fucking lawyers…_

_I wonder if she’s still on those pills? I’ve never seen her take one._

_Then again, it’s not like she’s the one who needs supervision._

_Not the point._ She exhaled slowly. _Max wasn’t herself. Plain and simple. I was comforting her, and she..._

_..._

_... what, exactly?_

_Okay. Back up. She was where I was a few months ago. So why did I kiss her back then?_

_Because she was being kind. And making sure that I was okay. And telling me that I wasn’t a piece of shit, which I hadn’t heard in years._

_But Max has a support system. She’s got parents, friends. She doesn’t need me to tell her that she can handle this kind of crap._

_Does she?_

Victoria glanced at the wall beside her. She knew Max was on the other side of it. And she had an inkling that Max wasn’t asleep yet, despite it being almost midnight. So she reached out and took her phone from the nightstand, opening a new text.

**Victoria:** Are you still awake?

She watched the screen intently. After a few seconds, a faint checkmark appeared at the bottom corner. Max had seen her message.

No blinking dots, though. She wasn’t typing a reply.

**Victoria:** Are you doing okay?

Another checkmark. Still no reply. Victoria bit her lip.

**Victoria:** Can we talk?

Checkmark. Then, finally, the blinking dots. But they stopped after a few seconds. Then started, then stopped again. The process repeated itself a few times, before it finally ended without a message.

_Okay, enough of this._

Victoria pushed off the covers and stood, straightening her shirt and sweatpants before she quietly slipped out of her room. She didn’t bother knocking before she turned the other knob, opening Max’s door.

The brunette was laying on her side, the phone in her hand illuminating her face. She lowered it as she looked at Victoria, who silently closed the door behind her.

“... hey,” Max greeted in a small voice.

“Hey.” Victoria rubbed her palms together nervously. “... you suck at texting back.”

“I know. I, uh...” Max’s voice trailed off, as she seemed to struggle to find words. After a few seconds, her phone went to sleep, plunging the room into blackness. “Crap,” she muttered, reaching out and turning her bedside lamp on. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Victoria hesitated. “… can I sit?”

“Yea. Sure.”

Max sat upright, folding her legs as Victoria took a seat on the edge of the mattress. “Are you still... okay?”

“Little better than this afternoon,” Max admitted. “Still just... I don’t know. Having trouble falling asleep.”

“Yea.” Victoria paused. “Me too.”

“... I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For... what I did.” Max swallowed. “I didn’t mean to...”

“Kiss me?”

Max flinched. After a few seconds, she nodded. “Yea.”

“It kind of felt like you meant it.”

The brunette looked back at her lap. “... I shouldn’t have done it.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s not...” she paused, and Victoria could see the conflicted feelings on her face. “I’m supposed to be your Sober Companion. I have a responsibility as a professional not to do things like… that.”

Victoria fidgeted with her hands, wishing that she had her cube with her as she thought about the question burning in her mind. After a few seconds, she looked at Max. “Can I ask you something?”

Max nodded.

“If you weren’t my Sober Companion... would you still have a problem with what we did?”

The brunette blinked as she stared at Victoria, who could see the gears spinning in Max’s head. After a few seconds, her friend dropped her gaze.

“... I don’t know.”

Victoria looked back at her hands. “... is it because I’m a druggie, or-”

“No, it’s not because you had a problem. Stop that. I don’t know because…” Max hesitated. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to think.”

Max took a short breath before Victoria could reply. “When I saw you at the rehab center, you were still the bully I remembered from Blackwell. And honestly, at first, getting you clean was just my job. The fact that I knew you from before wasn’t supposed to change anything, except maybe make it a little easier to get you to cooperate.”

She glanced at the blonde. “But at this point, I’ve spent more time with you than any other addict I’ve ever worked with. And... with everything I’ve learned, I feel like I’ve known you my whole life. Why you acted the way you did, why you turned to drugs, why you were mean to so many people. And then… you weren’t my old bully anymore.”

“I wasn’t?”

“No.” Max shook her head. “You were a girl that had a crap home life, who was desperate to fit in, and wanted someone to actually care for her.”

Victoria averted her eyes. “... you did hit the nail right on the head.”

“I know. And I realized that in order to help get you better, you needed someone to actually, really, unequivocally care about you and how you really felt. Not just offer validation and throw money at you. So... I did.”

Max swallowed. “And now I’m stuck.”

“Stuck? Stuck where?”

“Between how I feel and my responsibilities.” Max dropped her gaze. “Like I said... I’m not sure what to do.”

Victoria inhaled slowly. “... can I ask how you feel? About me?”

Max licked her lips before answering. “That you’re strong. Amazing. Empathetic. Someone that anybody would be lucky to have as a friend.”

“... you left out being an addict.”

“Everybody has their challenges. The fact that you’re strong enough to overcome them just makes you that much more incredible.”

Victoria slowly smirked. “Man, you guys really did learn all the sappy proverbs.”

“Like I said, there’s a book of them.”

“I believe it.” Victoria scratched the back of her neck. “But... I’m pretty sure the only reason that people would describe me as any of those things is because of you, Max.”

“I’m not-”

“You fixed me,” she interrupted. “I’d still be broken if it wasn’t for you. You were literally the only thing holding me together some days, and you’re probably the first person to ever get me to try and pick up the pieces of the life I fucked up.”

“You did all the hard work, Victoria,” Max reminded her.

“Maybe. But I wouldn’t have been able to do it without you next to me.”

The brunette’s face reddened a little bit, but Max didn’t respond.

“I...” Victoria hesitated. “I kind of want to kiss you again.”

Max bit her lip, her face flushing slightly. “... we shouldn’t.”

“Is it because you’re my Sober Companion? Or because you don’t want to?”

Her face reddened more. “I think you already know which one it is.”

“Right.” Victoria took a long breath. “Okay.”

“I don’t-”

“Then can we just... sleep?”

Max blinked. “Sleep?”

“I’m tired. And I can tell you are too.” Victoria squirmed. “I feel better, when you’re here. And no offense, but... you had kind of a shitty day today.”

The brunette pursed her lips as she looked at Victoria studiously for several seconds.

“... just sleep?”

“That’s it.”

Max blew air out her nostrils slowly. After a few seconds, she nodded. “... yea.”

“Yea?”

“Yea. Today did suck.” Max paused. “And... you’re right. It does feel better, when you’re here.”

Victoria slowly smiled, as she sighed. “Okay then.”

She stood as Max pulled the covers back, and she climbed into bed beside the brunette. Once she pulled the covers back over her, Max reached out to turn off the light. Victoria, without giving what she was doing a lot of thought, scooted up behind Max and draped one arm over the brunette’s shoulders, sliding another under her neck.

Max paused. “Victoria...”

“Hm?”

“... nothing.”

After a few moments, Victoria found Max’s hand in hers. She was pretty sure Max couldn’t feel her smile as she closed her eyes.

* * *

**Mar 12th, 2020**

**Days Sober: 284**

It was probably the best sleep she’d gotten in days.

Max slowly woke up, realizing that she was in the same position she’d been in the night before. One of Victoria’s arms was draped loosely over her shoulder, and the other was snaked under her neck, their hands still clasped loosely together.

_... we shouldn’t be doing this._

She knew that. And she knew that they were breaking all kinds of formal and informal rules regarding relationships between healthcare professionals and their patients.

In the moment, though, she found herself not caring. Being in Victoria’s arms was more comforting than she was willing to admit.

_I suppose we can deal with it later._

She blew air through her nose slowly. _Maybe I’m making too big of a thing out of this. I mean, Sober Companions aren’t really official; it’s not like this kind of thing falls under scrutiny. And I’m really only a healthcare worker in title, anyway._

_Besides, it’s not like anyone’s going to find us and..._

_FUCK!!_

“Victoria!” Max hissed, as her heartbeat skyrocketed.

“Mrm.”

“Victoria! Wake up!”

“Huh? Wha?”

Max let go of Victoria’s hand and pinched the inside of her wrist.

“Ow!!”

“Quiet! You need to get up!”

“Huh? Why?”

“So that Brad doesn’t find out you’re in here!”

“.... oh. Shit.” Victoria untangled herself from Max, sitting upright quickly. “I don’t hear him. I don’t think he’s awake.”

“Then it’s probably the best time for you to get back to your own room.” Max swung her feet over the edge of the bed. “Come on.”

Victoria followed her to the door as Max cracked it open, the two of them peeking into the suite. “His door’s closed,” Victoria breathed. “He’s still in bed.”

“Then you’d better go.” Max held the door open. “Quick.”

The blonde walked out, though she hesitated as she turned back around. “Are you... feeling better?”

Max exhaled slowly. “Much,” she admitted, nodding. “Thank you.”

“Sure.” Victoria rubbed her eyes. “I’ll... see you in a little bit."

* * *

The rest of the morning was uneventful. They were all upright in a few hours, Brad ushering them out the door and back for the airport; with Max’s testimony done, he wanted them back in Seattle, away from Portland.

He didn’t relax until they were airborne. “We should be back in about an hour,” he told them, as he took off his suit jacket. “I’ll drop you two back off at the condo, unless you want to go somewhere else.”

“The condo’s fine,” Max assured him.

“Okay. I’m gonna grab a drink.”

Max watched as he made his way towards the back of the plane, before turning to Victoria. “… you never asked me about Nathan.”

“I never... what?”

“Nathan. You mentioned that you wanted to see him, but you never asked if he was in the courtroom.”

She hadn’t, Victoria realized. With everything else, she’d completely forgotten. “Was he? There, I mean?”

Max nodded. “I saw him sitting at the defense table.”

“And... how did he look?”

“Honestly?” Max hesitated. “Not great.”

“How so?”

“He was just... sitting there. In his suit, hands on the table in front of him, kind of just watching the room. He didn’t say a word, didn’t mean-mug me, barely acknowledged the judge, nothing.” Max inhaled slowly. “I’m not sure if you want to hear this, but... I think he’s being medicated. Heavily, from the looks of it.”

Victoria blinked. “Are you sure?”

“Part of my classwork was visiting a couple of mental health facilities, to get a sense of working with real people,” Max explained quietly. “I saw a few of the really bad patients, men and women who were not in a good place, and were being court-ordered to take a lot of pretty intense medication. They had that same look in their eyes, like they were barely there.”

“Jesus.” Victoria shivered. “Were they... at least okay?”

“Physically, yes.” Max scratched at her arm. “One of the psychologists said that he treated a couple people who they’d weaned off of that kind of thing. They described it as sitting in a dark theatre, watching their life through a movie screen and not being able to do anything about it.”

Victoria felt a pit develop in her stomach, though she fought to ignore it. “... fuck,” she muttered. “They’re probably doing it to him so he doesn’t freak out in court.”

“That would be my guess.”

“I know you hate him. And he deserves to be in jail for what he did.” Victoria exhaled slowly, trying to keep from feeling nauseous. “But... nobody should have to go through that.”

Max bit her lip. “I do hate him. But... I feel a little sorry for him, too.”

“You think he’ll be found guilty?”

“If my testimony is any indication?” Max shrugged limply. “I don’t know. Maybe they’ll get lucky, and the jury will see through the defense team’s bullshit.”

“We can only hope.” Victoria leaned back in her seat. “When will you find out?”

“The prosecutors said the trial would last a couple of weeks, and then the jury has to deliberate. So probably not for a while.”

“Then let’s try to forget about it. And hope for the best.”

* * *

**Max:** We’re back in Seattle.

**Dad:** When can we see you?

**Max:** Can we do it this weekend? My roommate has a long shift on Saturday.

**Dad:** Of course. Are you feeling okay?

**Max:** Better, now that I’m back.

**Max:** Kinda miss the suite, though.

**Dad:** I looked up pictures. Your mother and I have decided to save for it, next time we visit Portland.

**Max:** I can come too, right?

**Dad:** Sure. So long as you chip in.

**Max:** I’m down.

**Dad** Unless we decide to do it for our anniversary. Then you might want to stay home.

**Max:** ... I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.


	40. Bonus

**Mar 17th, 2020**

**Days Sober: 289 **

Max lay in her bed quietly, watching the sun slowly rise through her bedroom window. It had been five days since they’d gotten back from Portland.

Trying to fall asleep on the first night had been... rough. For a multitude of reasons, rest hadn’t come to Max with any kind of ease. Even digging out an old Ambien pill hadn’t helped much. She’d tossed and turned most of the night, the medication not kicking in until halfway through the morning; Victoria had shaken her awake after she’d fallen asleep in front of her laptop.

The next night had been more of the same. Apparently, she hadn’t been very quiet about her discomfort, because Victoria had finally walked into her room around one in the morning, asking if Max wanted to talk.

She hadn’t. She’d wanted other things.

But she’d settled for what she knew would help her rest.

And now she was staring at the arm in front of her, as Victoria’s left arm stretched out from under Max’s pillow. The blonde’s other arm was draped loosely over Max’s ribcage, as she held the brunette while sleeping.

Her opinion on the matter hadn’t changed, since that first night in Portland. Max knew Victoria was crossing a boundary that she shouldn’t be. And Max was equally at fault for letting her; there was little resistance from her corner.

There was no denying how much better it felt to fall asleep with Victoria beside her, though.

_... fuck, I am so gay for her right now._

_No. Stop. Bad idea._ Max squeezed her eyes closed. _I know it’s a bad idea. Everyone would tell me that it’s a bad idea. Steph would probably crucify me._

_Maybe I could outrun her. She’s not in THAT great of shape._

The moving air on the back of Max’s neck changed subtly, as Victoria shifted behind her. Max turned her head a fraction of an inch. “Are you awake?” she asked softly.

“No,” Victoria mumbled.

Even in the middle of her mental debate, Max managed a half-smirk. “You sure?”

“Go back to sleep.”

“You’re supposed to be at work in two hours.”

“I’ll get up in ninety minutes.”

Max slowly turned over, so she was facing the blonde. Victoria’s eyes were half-open as she pulled her left arm back from under Max’s head. “You also have schoolwork to do.”

“Did it last night.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“You’re not my real dad.”

Max snorted. “Solid comeback.”

“Thanks.” Victoria peeled one eye open. “How’d you sleep?”

“... good,” Max admitted quietly.

“Any messages on your phone?”

Max reached behind her and pulled her phone off the charging dock, bringing it up to her eyes as she turned on the screen. “Nope,” she answered after a few seconds. “But they just started deliberating. And I don’t think they would have made a verdict in the middle of the night anyway.”

“Mm.” Victoria curled back up on her side, closing her eye again. “Probably not.”

“What are you doing?”

“Going back to sleep.”

Max grabbed her shoulder and shook it. “Come on, wake up.”

“Why?”

“Because I, uh...” Max bit her lip. “I want to talk.”

Victoria opened her eyes again. “About?”

“This.” Max hesitated. “What we’re doing.”

“… oh.” A guilty look came over Victoria’s face. “Um… do you want me to… leave?”

Max exhaled slowly. “… I’m not sure.”

Victoria sat up slowly, still looking at the brunette. “… you know I’m just trying to help, right?”

“I know.”

“Okay.” Victoria chewed on the inside of her cheek. “Is this because you’re my Sober Companion?”

Max sat up beside Victoria, folding her legs. “Yea.”

“Can I be honest, Max?”

She nodded.

“I don’t really care.” Victoria scratched the back of her neck as she averted her eyes. “I know you’re trying to keep this… professional, I guess. And I know there are a bunch of really good reasons to support that.”

She glanced back at Max. “I also know that I didn’t hate you kissing me.”

Max’s face flushed again.

“And yea, I know you said you shouldn’t have done it,” Victoria added quickly. “But… you’re not gonna be my Sober Companion forever. I know my dad only hired you to help me get through my first year. Which ends in a couple of months.”

“Victoria-”

“Are you going back to Oregon when this is over?”

Max squirmed. “I don’t know. I haven’t decided.”

“… would you let me know if you do?”

“… sure.”

Victoria exhaled. “Okay. Then-”

“I’m sorry.”

“Huh?”

Max looked at her lap. “For... everything. What I’ve done, and throwing out mixed signals...”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Victoria assured her. “I know this has been a really shitty week. You’re allowed to be a little irrational.”

“I’m usually not.” Max paused, feeling like she should say more. “If we’re being totally honest... I didn’t really hate it when you kissed me, either.”

Victoria relaxed marginally, as she smirked. “Yea?”

“Yea.”

“More or less than when you saw my boobs?”

“Oh, God.” Max covered her face. “I shouldn’t have said anything about that.”

“Why not? I mean, I’ve gotten a few compliments. Mostly from-”

“Victoria?”

“Yes?”

“Please get out.”

* * *

“Any idea when you’ll hear back?”

Max shook her head as she sat across the table from Steph, a few hours later. The two of them picked at their lunch as they conversed. “The lawyer said that juries are finnicky, especially after a trial like that. He figured it would take them a few days to come back with a verdict.”

“Fair enough.” Steph shrugged as she popped another fry into her mouth. “Don’t worry, I’m sure they’ll toss that asshole right back in prison.”

“I hope so.” Max shifted her weight nervously. “I don’t want to have to make a phone call to Chloe’s mother and apologize for being a terrible witness.”

“You did the best you could, Max. Don’t stress it.” Steph rolled her eyes. “That whole thing about Zoloft messing with your memory sounds like horseshit. And you’d have to be a real asshole to think less of you for taking an antidepressant after what happened. Besides, those side effects hit, what? One percent of all users?”

“I don’t know. They didn’t say a percentage.”

“Which means it’s probably low as fuck.” Steph smirked. “Juries might be finnicky, but they’re not stupid. No use worrying about it.”

“I guess not.” Max sighed, fidgeting with her fingers. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to bring the mood down.”

“No worries. This is dark shit. How else was Portland?” Steph asked as she picked up her burger, taking a small bite. “I don’t think I’ve been since just after I graduated-”

“I kissed Victoria.”

Steph reaction to Max’s unexpected admission was immediate. The other brunette coughed explosively, morsels of food flying from her mouth as she violently tried to clear her throat while Max looked on with wide eyes.

After several seconds, she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and stared at Max. “... you fucking what with Victoria?”

Max dropped her gaze. “... I kissed her.”

“You kissed Victoria.”

“Yea.”

“OUR Victoria.” Steph dropped the burger, then pushed her plate aside and leaned forward. “The girl we’re trying to keep sober? The one whose father is paying you through the nose to live with? THAT Victoria?”

“... yes.”

Steph blinked as she stared at Max.

“Please say something.”

“I’m just trying to figure out what scenario, in this universe, would lead to you locking lips with Blondie.”

Max blushed. “It was right after I had to testify, and... I was feeling like shit, after those assholes tore me apart on the stand. I was more than a little upset, and Victoria was there hugging me, and...” she trailed off, leaving the sentence unfinished.

“So you kissed her because she was there for you,” Steph stated.

“I guess.”

“Okay.” Steph inhaled slowly. “Okay. This isn’t that bad. It was a rough day. You weren’t thinking clearly. I’m sure Victoria will get that. It was a one-time thing that never should have happened.”

Max’s face reddened further, as she looked back at her lap.

“Max?”

She didn’t answer.

“... Max, it WAS it a one-time thing, right?”

“Victoria kissed me a few months ago,” Max admitted quietly. “And we’ve-”

The _THUMP_ of Steph’s forehead hitting the table made her flinch. “You have GOT to be fucking kidding me,” she muttered.

“Steph-”

“And we’ve what?”

“Huh?”

She picked her head back up. “You were starting to say something. And we’ve... what? Are you guys sleeping together now, too?”

Max felt her eyebrow twitch.

Steph’s eye’s widened. “Oh my God, you two are having-”

“We’re not having sex!” Max exclaimed quietly.

“You haven’t...” Steph frowned. “You’re... sleeping together. But not fucking?”

Max squirmed uncomfortably. “... yes.”

“Holy Christ, dude, just when I thought this wasn’t gonna get any weirder.”

“I know.” Max scratched at her neck. “You don’t have to tell me this is bad.”

“Then what do you want me to say?” Steph asked incredulously. “What am I supposed to do? And why are you telling me this anyway? I mean, I like you guys and all, but there are boundaries, man.”

“... I don’t know.” Max sighed. “I guess I just want someone to tell me that I’m not... I don’t know, being a terrible person.”

Steph scoffed. “I don’t think anyone’s going to call you a terrible person, Max.”

“Still.”

“Okay. Well...” Steph inhaled slowly. “This whole Sober Companion thing you’ve got going on. It’s not really, like, OFFICIAL, is it?”

“What do you mean?”

“There isn’t a regulatory body for this kind of work?”

Max shook her head. “There’s no licensing or anything. It’s a private arrangement.”

“Between you and Victoria’s father, right?”

“Exactly.”

“Did you sign a contract?”

She nodded.

“Did it say in there that you wouldn’t fuck his daughter?”

“Steph!”

“Hey man, I’m not the one on shaky moral ground.” Steph crossed her arms. “Was there anything like that in there or not?”

Max was still blushing as she shook her head. “It mostly covered pay, and that I would help Victoria and live with her in the condo until she hits a full year of sobriety.”

“Well, good, I guess.” Steph paused. “What about your job at the rehab center? Aren’t there rules about this there?”

“I mean, yea, but I’m on a sabbatical; this gig has nothing to do with them. It’s between me and Victoria’s family.”

“Then I guess you’re not really doing anything wrong, legally.”

“I guess not.”

“Ethically, on the other hand...”

“Christ.” Max rubbed her face. “I know.”

Steph cocked her head, as she looked Max up and down. “... do you have feelings for this girl?”

“Huh?”

“This thing, with kissing her and sharing a bed. Is it just so you feel better? Or… is there actually something there?”

Max’s face now felt like it was on fire, as she looked back at her lap.

“Jesus, dude.”

“This is bad.” Max glanced back up at Steph. “This is really bad, right?”

Steph had a pensive look on her face. “... I don’t know.”

“What does that mean?”

“I mean, if you were just trying to scratch an itch, then yea, that’s one thing. But if you legit feel something for this girl...”

“I...” Max’s face twisted. “Fuck. Steph, I really am so lost right now.”

“Mm.” Steph pursed her lips. “Why don’t you just quit?”

“Quit?”

“Being her Sober Companion,” Steph elaborated. “That would solve this whole debate. Tell her dad that you don’t think your services are required. I’m sure he’d be happy to hear it, you won’t be her counselor anymore, and you can date her to your heart’s content.”

Max let out a nervous breath. “I, uh… I can’t.”

“Why? Is there a penalty in your contract for bowing out early?”

“No.” She paused. “But… there is a bonus.”

“Bonus? What bonus?”

Max swallowed, unable to stop herself from looking around before answering. “It was something her father put in the contract I signed,” she explained in a low voice. “An incentive for me to do good work. Basically, if I make sure that Victoria stays sober for a full year, then… I get a check for fifty thousand dollars.”

Steph’s eyebrows shot to the top of her forehead. “Fifty... thousand?”

“Yea.”

“Holy shit, I’m in the wrong line of work.” Steph tilted her head. “... does Victoria know?”

“I don’t think so.” Max picked at her fingers. “I mean, she knows that her dad’s paying me stupidly well. But I don’t think she knows that I have a monetary incentive to see her through to the full year.”

“Are you worried that pursuing a relationship will void the contract or something?”

“A little,” Max admitted. “I went back through it a few months ago. There’s nothing in there about having a relationship, but there’s a thing… I don’t know. The exact wording is something along the lines of ‘should I fail to keep her sober, or otherwise fall short of my professional responsibilities’. And… I’m pretty sure that getting romantically involved could be spun that way.”

“Mm.” Steph nodded, slowly blowing air out her nostrils. “Yea, I could see that. Especially if you were looking to get out of writing a five-figure check.”

“I mean, I care about her. Of course I do. I want her to be sober, regardless of the money,” Max explained quickly. “But... I mean, that’s the kind of cash that could put me through grad school without debt. Or buy a new car, or a down payment on a house, or something like that.”

She sighed. “And I don’t know how to explain that to someone who’s never wanted for money before.”

“She’s not exactly rich at the moment,” Steph reminded her.

“Yea, but that’s temporary. Her dad’s already offered to restore her access to his money, once.” Max shook her head. “I feel like if she finds out I have an ulterior motive for staying with her, then... I don’t know. She’ll hate me. Or at the least, I’ll lose all the trust I’ve spent months building with her.”

Steph leaned back. “Yea. I could see how that would be worrisome.”

“So... what do I do?”

“Honestly?” Steph winced. “I don’t have a fucking clue, man.”

“Me either.” Max slouched in her seat. “It feels like I have to choose between losing out on a bonus or losing out on… whatever this thing between us is. And I feel like I’m damned if I do, and damned if I don’t.”


	41. Verdict

**Mar 20th, 2020**

**Days Sober: 292 **

“You need to re-make the chicken parm.”

Angelo furrowed his brow as Victoria set the plate down in front of him. “Why?”

“Because the customer say’s it’s too crunchy.”

“It’s SUPPOSED to be crunchy.”

Victoria rolled her eyes. “I’m just the messenger, man.”

“Fine, whatever.” Angelo took the plate back as he set about remaking the dinner. “I’ll fix it for them. Tell them it’ll be ten minutes or so.”

She nodded as she scooped up another table’s food, bringing it out to deliver. She was less than an hour away from being off work, and was looking forward to getting back home.

_Except for that goddamn paper due in three days._ She grimaced as she worked the computer, getting a customer’s check in order. _Max will make me work on it tonight, too, I know it._

_Curse my desire to be a better person._

As she delivered the check with a smile, her phone vibrated in her back pocket. Once she was out of sight of the customers, she retrieved it and checked the screen.

**Steph:** Are you with Max?

**Victoria:** No. Work.

**Steph:** When did you last see her?

**Victoria:** This morning. Why?

**Steph:** I got a news alert. The jury delivered their verdict a couple of hours ago.

Victoria’s heart shot into her throat.

**Victoria:** Well?! What was it?!

**Steph:** Not guilty.

“Oh, fuck,” Victoria whispered, as she stared at the screen.

**Victoria:** Does Max know?

**Steph:** She said the lawyers were going to call her right after. She must know.

**Steph:** I tried to call her, but she won’t pick up. And she’s not answering my texts, or Kate’s. I’m at the hospital with my mom, so I can’t leave. I’m getting worried.

**Victoria:** Gimme a second.

She strode towards her boss’s office, knocking quickly before pushing the door open. “Andy, I have to go,” she said quickly.

Her manager blinked as he looked up from his computer. “What? Why?”

“It’s an emergency. My friend just got some really bad news, and now she’s not answering her phone.”

“You think she’s in trouble?”

“I don’t know. But I only have forty minutes left of my shift,” she informed him. “Can I PLEASE go check on her?”

He looked at her for a few seconds, then nodded. “Sure. We’ll cover for you."

* * *

She practically ran the few blocks back to the condo. Once she was inside the building, she hammered on the elevator call button rapidly, then hammered on her floor button again as the car rose. Once the doors open, she sprinted to their door, unlocking it as fast as she could.

As soon as she was inside, she could hear her. The quiet sobbing from behind the closed bedroom door made her heart break. She didn’t bother to knock before pushing it open.

Max was still wearing her jeans, hoodie, and shoes as she lay curled up on the bed. Her eyes and nose were both red with irritation, and tears streamed down her face, mixing with snot as she sobbed into the pillow beneath her. The brunette showed no indication that she heard Victoria enter the room.

Victoria immediately climbed into bed beside Max, grabbing her head as she held the brunette close. Her friend immediately latched onto her shirt as Victoria cradled her gently.

“It’s not your fault,” she whispered.

Max snorted deeply. “Yes it is,” she whimpered.

“No. It’s not.”

“They released him.” Her voice cracked as she closed her eyes. “They let him go. I watched him kill Chloe, and they let him go.”

“I know. I know they did.” Victoria sniffled, as she tried to stop her own tears from sliding down her face. “That’s not your fault, Max. You did everything you could.”

“I could’ve stopped it,” Max sobbed. “I could’ve done something.”

“No. Stop that.” Victoria rubbed her thumb over Max’s cheek, wiping a tear away. “His father was bankrolling the best lawyers in the state. The prosecutors were trying a six-year-old case with one hand tied behind their back. There was nothing you could’ve done.”

Max sniffled. “I-”

“No.” Victoria leaned her forehead against Max’s. “Don’t.”

“But...”

She slowly picked her head up, planting a soft kiss on Max’s forehead as she rocked her slowly. “It’s not your fault,” she whispered.

Max closed her eyes as she sniffled, rolling into Victoria’s shirt as she cried.

They didn’t move for several seconds, before a buzzing sound drew Victoria’s attention. She looked at Max’s nightstand and saw her phone light up with an incoming call. She reached over and picked up the phone, licking her lips and swallowing before she answered. “Hello?”

“_Victoria?_” Kate’s voice answered. “_Where’s Max? I’ve been calling her for-_”

“She’s here.” Victoria looked down at the softly crying brunette in her arms. “It’s... not a good time, Kate.”

“_Is she okay?_”

“Not really.”

Kate was silent for several seconds. “_... is there anything I can do?_”

“No.” Victoria took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. “Just... would you let Steph know that I’ve got her?”

“_Of course._”

“And that I’ll call her tomorrow.”

“_Sure thing._”

* * *

**Dad:** They found Nathan not guilty.

**Victoria:** I heard.

**Dad:** How’s Max?

**Victoria:** Not great. Didn’t sleep last night.

**Dad:** Please tell her that we’re sorry.

**Victoria: **I will.

**Victoria:** They can’t sue her or anything, right?

**Dad:** I don’t think so. I can’t imagine they’d have any grounds, especially if she didn’t testify at the first trial back in 2013.

**Dad:** I wouldn’t worry about it anyway. Sean and Nathan have already left the country.

**Victoria:** They did?

**Dad:** My understanding is that they went from the courthouse to the airport, got on a private plane, and started flying north. Brad is trying to figure out where exactly they went, but they’re definitely in Canada by now.

**Victoria:** So... that’s it, then. He can’t be re-tried.

**Dad:** Not even if he was still here. The lawyers told me that once a judgement is rendered, that’s it; the DA isn’t allowed to re-file without petitioning the court.

**Victoria:** That sucks. The bad guys aren’t supposed to win.

**Dad:** I know.

**Victoria:** Do you think Max is still in danger?

**Dad:** I doubt it. Everything’s over now.

**Dad:** Brad is going to keep his ear to the ground, but I doubt anything will come of it.

**Victoria:** Right.

* * *

**Kate:** Is she doing any better?

**Victoria:** Not really. She’s mostly alternating between sleeping and staring at the wall. Plus the occasional visit to the bathroom.

**Kate:** God. I’m so sorry.

**Kate:** Please let her know I’m thinking about her.

**Victoria:** I will.

**Victoria:** Are YOU okay?

**Kate:** I’m fine. Why?

**Victoria:** It was Nathan, Kate. I know what he did to you.

**Kate:** ... honestly, I don’t remember most of what happened that night. Other than some flashes, there isn’t much between that party and waking up in bed the next morning. When they showed me the binder, it felt like it was a different person in those photos.

**Kate:** I know he was the one who spiked my drink. But I also know Jefferson was pulling his strings. I hate him way more than Nathan.

**Victoria:** Still. This can’t be easy.

**Kate:** It’s not. But so long as Jefferson is still locked up, I’ll make my peace with it.

**Victoria:** He is, right? I just realized that I’ve never bothered to look him up.

**Kate:** Yes. Last I checked, he was in the special holding unit at Sheridan. Eligible for parole in 2033.

**Victoria:** Have to make a note, so I can send the parole board a letter.

**Kate:** I plan on being at the hearing in person. I’ll deliver it for you.

* * *

**Max:** I am so sorry.

**Joyce:** It’s not your fault, Max.

**Max: **I could’ve done better.

**Joyce:** We weren’t great witnesses either, kiddo. David and I both got shredded on the stand.

**Joyce:** I loved Chloe so much. But she made it very hard to paint a picture of a girl who was innocent.

**Max:** I never should’ve stopped talking to her.

**Joyce: **Max…

**Max:** I don’t know why we fell out of touch when I left Arcadia Bay. I wish I’d been a better friend. Maybe then, none of this would’ve happened.

**Joyce:** Chloe still would’ve met Rachel, Max. They still would’ve become inseparable friends. And they still would’ve met that teacher at Blackwell.

**Joyce:** Nothing that happened was your fault.

**Max:** … I’m still so sorry.

**Joyce:** I know, sweetie. Me too.


	42. Better

**Mar 26th, 2020**

**Days Sober:** **298 **

“Does she leave her room at all?”

Victoria nodded her head as she poked at the salad in front of her. “Not often, though,” she told Steph, as they ate after an NA meeting. “I finally got her out into the kitchen for food the other day, instead of bringing it to her. She’s really blaming herself for what happened.”

“Shit.” Steph looked out the window. “Goddamn lawyers, man.”

“Well, with enough money, you can get some pretty heinous shit swept under the rug.” Victoria glanced at Steph. “Speaking from experience, of course.”

“Fuck that. There’s a big difference between what you might’ve done and killing another girl in cold blood.” Steph shook her head. “That asshole should’ve gotten the chair.”

“... yea.”

Steph looked back at her. “What?”

“Mm?”

“Just ‘yea’? That’s it?”

Victoria felt a wave of guilt as she looked into her salad. “... he was my friend, once.”

“Before or after he killed Chloe?”

“Hey, man...”

“... sorry.” Steph leaned back into her seat. “She was my friend, too.”

“She was?”

“Well, maybe ‘friend’ is a strong word,” Steph acknowledged. “She wasn’t perfect, and she had her share of issues. But she didn’t deserve to get shot by that prick in a high school bathroom.”

“I know.” Victoria went to take another bite of her salad, then stopped, setting her fork down. “I... knew Nathan was having problems. And that he was involved in some dark shit. I just didn’t want to think about my friend being that far down the rabbit hole.”

“... okay. I get that.” Steph leaned forward. “So, he’s back to running around Oregon?”

Victoria shook her head. “His father put him on a plane two hours after he was released,” she said. “My dad said they disappeared into Canada.”

“Why Canada?”

“Dunno. Probably to lay low for a little bit, so Sean can work on rebuilding his little empire and establishing the Prescott Dynasty.” Victoria scoffed. “Probably change Nathan’s name, too, so he doesn’t have to ever suffer any consequences for what he did.”

“Christ.” Steph shook her head. “Man, I wish I had that kind of fuck-you money.”

“It is convenient, should the circumstances arise.”

“I bet. And... Max hasn’t said anything about any of this?”

“I haven’t told her.” Victoria squirmed. “I know I probably should. But... it took long enough for her to stop crying herself to sleep as it is.”

“I bet.” Steph paused. “... how close of an eye are you keeping on her?”

“What does that mean?”

“You know exactly what it means.”

Victoria blinked several times as she stared at Steph. “... fuck,” she muttered, sighing. “What did Max tell you?”

“Enough.”

“Great.” Victoria folded her hands and set them in her lap, as she looked out the window. “Look... I just want Max to be okay.”

Steph raised an eyebrow. “Is that it?”

“It is right now.” Victoria shot her a look out of the corner of her eye. “Do you really think that little of me?”

“No. But I know that Max is in a bad way, and I know how you two feel about each other.” Steph folded her arms. “I don’t want to see either of you fuck this up.”

“How do you think I’m going to-”

“Max is your Sober Companion,” Steph reminded her. “She has a responsibility to help you stay clean, first and foremost. I know it’s hard to remember, but she has a job to do.”

“I’m not trying to stop her.”

“No, you’re not. But you’re not making things easier for her, either.”

Victoria was taken aback. “What the hell does that mean?”

“Max might not say it, but she likes you,” Steph answered. “I can see it, when she talks about you. She might be getting paid, but she has genuine feelings. And she’s seriously struggling with them while trying to do her job. You two curling up in bed isn’t helping her stay professional.”

“Hey, man, she’s not kicking me out of her room.”

“And she won’t. She doesn’t want to.”

Victoria inhaled slowly. “So... what? When she’s crying herself to sleep, I’m just supposed to ignore it? She’s spent months putting the pieces of my life back together, and I’m not allowed to be there for her when she’s in this dark of a place?”

“I didn’t say that you couldn’t be,” Steph corrected her. “But you need to remember what her job is.”

“Yea, I know. Keeping me off coke.” Victoria crossed her own arms, mirroring Steph. “She’s doing a great job. I haven’t felt the urge to do a line in months.”

“The urges to go back to the drugs come and go,” Steph countered. “Max’s job is to be there for you when they happen. Right now, you’re not helping her stay focused. And I’m worried that she’s going to lose that job because of it.”

Victoria gave her an intense look. “She’s going to lose this job in a couple of months anyway, when I hit my one-year mark. And I know her student loans are almost paid off. I really don’t see why you’re jumping up and down on my balls about this, unless you’re just trying to be difficult.”

Steph’s face twisted as she looked at Victoria. “... fuck,” she muttered.

“What?”

“I...” Steph rubbed the bridge of her nose. “Goddamn it. Okay.”

“Okay, what? The hell’s wrong with you?”

“I’m gonna tell you something that you’re not supposed to know.” Steph looked at Victoria intently. “And if Max finds out that I’m the one who told you, I swear to God that I’ll crucify you in the middle of Pike Place Market.”

“Christ, fine. What the hell is it?”

* * *

Max was waiting on the couch when Victoria got home. “... hey,” she greeted her quietly.

“Hey.” Victoria looked her over as she closed the door, setting down her purse. “You left your room.”

“Yea. I did.” Max scratched at her arm. “I’m, uh… I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“The past few days.”

Victoria scoffed. “You don’t have to apologize, Max.”

“I feel like I kind of need to.”

“After what happened? The fuck you do.” Victoria sat across from her. “Though you sound like you’re doing better. Did you get some sleep?”

“I did.” Max nodded. “And I got a call from my dad. He conferenced in my old therapist, and we talked for a while, about what happened.”

“Good conversation?”

“Yea. We talked about Chloe for a while.” Max exhaled. “And my dad explained that Nathan wasn’t likely to get convicted anyway. Especially after such a long amount of time had passed, with his initial confession being thrown out, ambiguous physical evidence… He reminded me that all it would’ve taken was one juror to have a reasonable doubt.” She looked away. “God knows I gave them enough of one.”

“That wasn’t-”

“It wasn’t my fault. I know.” Max sighed. “Nathan did spend six years in jail for what he did. So I guess that’s... something.”

“It’s not enough,” Victoria muttered.

“No, it isn’t. But I guess it’ll have to do.” Max shrugged. “Anyway... I’m sorry I’ve been a bad sober companion for the past few days. I’ll start doing better.”

“Like I said, Max, you don’t need to apologize.”

“Agree to disagree.” Max leaned back in her seat. “How was your NA meeting?”

“The usual.” Victoria shrugged. “Touchy-feely, ultra-supportive, and Charlie made more bad jokes.”

“You and Steph talk afterwards?”

Victoria scratched the back of her neck. “For a bit, over dinner. She mostly asked about Nathan, and the trial, and how you were doing.”

“Okay.” Max nodded slowly. “I, uh... guess I’ll turn in, then. I’m still pretty tired.”

“Yea. Me too.”

Max and Victoria both stood. The brunette looked like she was trying not to watch Victoria, to see which way she went; towards her bedroom or Max’s.

Victoria didn’t follow her, though. She went to her own room. Max exhaled slowly as she opened her door.

“Hey, Max?”

She paused. “Hmm?”

Victoria looked at her from her doorway. “You’re a pretty kickass sober companion,” she told her. “I know you’re getting paid, and you’re worth every penny my dad gives you. But I appreciate you being here for me, more than anything. And, uh... I’m sorry, too.”

Max frowned. “For what?”

“I know how you’ve been feeling about... what we’ve been doing. That it makes you uncomfortable.”

“I’m not...” Max hesitated. “That’s not the right word.”

“That it makes you feel like you’re slipping at your job, then,” Victoria clarified. “I don’t want you to feel like that. Especially when I don’t think I would’ve lasted this long with anyone else.”

“Oh.” Max smiled. “... thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Victoria smiled back. “See you in the morning.”

* * *

**Steph:** Glad to hear you’re doing better.

**Max:** Thanks.

**Steph:** We back on for lunch?

**Max:** Sure. Tomorrow good?

**Steph: **Let’s do Sunday. I’ll be in the hospital with my mom most of tomorrow.

**Max:** Is she okay?

**Steph:** She’s great. They found a new kidney for her.

**Max:** They did?! When?!

**Steph:** Couple of weeks ago. Some non-profit hooked us up with another family that needed a kidney, too.

**Steph:** Their mom is also B-Negative. She gave us her spare kidney, and my dad gave his to her son.

**Max:** That’s amazing! I’m so happy to hear that, Steph.

**Steph:** Yea. I still wish I could’ve done it.

**Max:** You did what you could. Is your mom better?

**Steph:** She’s still recovering. On some pretty intense meds.

**Max:** What about your family? Have they softened up?

**Steph:** A lot. It’s been almost a week since my brother made a snide comment.

**Max:** … is this a ‘take what you can get’ situation?

**Steph:** Definitely.


	43. Rebuilding

**Apr 6th, 2020**

**Days Sober:** **309 **

Victoria squirmed nervously in the back of her Uber, as she texted back and forth furiously with Max.

**Max:** Seriously, it’s not like she’s going to start punching you in the middle of the restaurant.

**Victoria:** I still don’t want to start off on the wrong foot.

**Max:** Don’t over-complicate it. Just remember that you’ve both decided to try and rebuild your friendship.

**Victoria: **Even after I ditched our first dinner together in years?

**Max:** Hey, you were the one who wanted to come with me to Portland.

**Victoria:** I know. How do I make it better?

**Max:** Life happens, Victoria. Just apologize and move on. It’s not like you were on a bender or something.

“Miss? We’re here.”

Victoria looked up as the car pulled in front of the Red Robin. “Thanks,” she muttered as she undid her seatbelt. “Have a good night.”

“You too.”

She got out and made her way inside, walking up to the hostess while looking around nervously. “Can I help you?” the girl asked sweetly.

“Uh, yea. I’m late for dinner with a couple of my friends.” Victoria quickly scanned the restaurant, though she didn’t see them. “Have you seated a blonde girl, and one with short black hair?”

“Mm.” The hostess turned and checked the interior. “No blondes, but I do see a girl with black hair. Is that your friend?”

Victoria followed the finger point and saw Courtney sitting at the bar, absently stirring a cocktail with a straw. Her stomach lurched as she noticed that Taylor was absent. “Um... yea. That’s her. Thanks.”

The hostess smiled and turned away, as Victoria took a slow breath and braced herself. _Don’t overthink it. We’re trying to do better. We can have a nice conversation without Taylor here to referee._

_I hope._

Courtney noticed her approaching, and straightened up in her seat. “Hey, Vic,” she greeted her cautiously.

“… hey.” Victoria paused. “Where’s Taylor? I thought you guys would be together”

“Running late. She had to run into work, and I guess she got stuck or something.” Courtney shrugged. “You want to sit and wait for her?”

Victoria glanced back at the bar. And all the bottles of alcohol behind it. She felt a strong yearning for several seconds. “I’d… rather not,” she admitted quietly.

“You don’t want a drink?”

She shook her head.

“Really?” Courtney frowned. “I mean... I just thought we’d talk, while we waited.”

“I do. Want to talk.” Victoria itched at her neck, glancing at the bar again. “But I’d rather sit at a table.”

Courtney tilted her head. “…you’re not drinking alcohol either, are you?”

Victoria’s face reddened, as shook her head silently.

“Ah, shit.” Courtney looked back at her drink, pushing it away. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t-”

“No, Court, it’s okay-”

“I didn’t even think about it-”

“You don’t need to stop because of-”

They both paused as they stared at each other silently, each of them trying to gauge the other’s reaction.

“Well, we’re off to a great start,” Courtney muttered.

Victoria sighed. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Courtney turned back to the bar and grabbed her drink, throwing her head back and swallowing it all at once. “... it was kinda expensive.”

“Yea. Can we just get a table while we wait for Taylor?”

“After you.”

* * *

“Why can’t you drink booze?”

Victoria finished sipping her water before she answered. “The sobriety thing means that I’m off all behavior-altering substances,” she answered nervously. “Not just coke.”

“But you never really had a problem with alcohol,” Courtney protested. “I mean, you could drink Grey Goose like it was water, but it didn’t really... it wasn’t like the drugs.”

“My sponsor said that they usually go hand-in hand.” Victoria shrugged. “I also think they don’t want me to replace the coke with vodka, in terms of shitty behavior.”

“Oh. I guess that makes sense.” Courtney sipped at her own diet soda. “Still never thought I’d see you turn down a drink.”

“Well, you know, destructive behaviors and all.” Victoria racked her brain as she tried to think of what to talk about. “So... how’ve you been?”

“Good.” Courtney nodded. “Secured a pretty killer deal with that new fabric supplier I was here for, last time I saw you.”

“Yea, right. Taylor was telling me about it.” Victoria winced. “I’m, uh... sorry that I missed our first dinner.”

“It’s fine. Taylor told me where you were.” Courtney planted her elbows on the table. “... did you see him?”

“You mean Nathan?”

She nodded.

“No. It was a closed trial.” Victoria shook her head. “They wouldn’t let me in. Max saw him, though.”

“Did she say how he was?”

“Only that he didn’t really speak. And that he looked pretty out of it. She thought that he might have been drugged up.”

“… damn.” Courtney looked at the table. “And now he’s out.”

“He is.”

“How’d Max take it?”

Victoria licked her lips. “… not well.”

“Yea, I guess that’s a dumb question.” Courtney scratched her hair. “I can’t even imagine having to face him in court, after he killed her friend, and then seeing him walk free.”

“I know.” Victoria sighed. “I can’t believe that I ever considered him my friend.”

“Really? I can.”

“How do you figure?”

“You’re both from rich families, had shitty parents, and dealt with everything by getting medicated,” Courtney reminded her. “When you really think about it, you guys were like two sides of the same coin.”

Victoria absorbed that statement, mulling it over before looking down at her lap. “… I guess so.”

“Shit. Hey, wait. I didn’t mean it like that,” Courtney said hurriedly. “You guys were hardly the same. I mean, he was drugging and kidnapping people.”

“I assaulted you. And Alyssa. And a few other people. Then I stole from all of my friends, including Taylor, while pissing away my family’s money before killing myself with an overdose.” Victoria shrugged. “I don’t think I’m much better than he is.”

“You never killed anyone.”

Victoria glanced back up. “… I came pretty fuckin’ close.”

“Huh? What are you…” Courtney’s voice trailed off, as a look of realization crossed her face. “Kate’s suicide note. Jesus, I forgot all about that.”

“I didn’t. I don’t think I ever can.”

Courtney pinched the bridge of her nose as she drew a deep breath. “Fuck,” she muttered, exhaling slowly. “I didn’t come here to demean you. Or throw your sordid past back in your face.”

“It wasn’t that long ag-”

“Yes. Okay. You did bad shit.” Courtney put her hand down. “But that was back then. I mean, Christ, Vic, I seriously don’t recognize you. You’re not snarky, or callous, and you didn’t insult our waitress for wearing ten pounds of makeup.”

Victoria mouth twitched in a half-smirk, though she kept her eyes down. “… I kind-of wanted to make a comment. That was a LOT of eyeliner.”

“I know. But you didn’t, and I really thought you were gonna.” Courtney looked her up and down. “You were mean to everyone who wasn’t us, back at Blackwell. And you made fun of Taylor and I a lot, too. Shit, I was doing your homework for you, remember?”

“... yea.”

“But now... you’re actually a decent human being,” Courtney continued. “I feel like you, and me, and Taylor, we could be real friends now. Not just the two of us bowing to your every whim like slaves.”

Victoria looked back up. “You really mean it?”

“Yea.” Courtney leaned back in her seat. “I really do.”

“I... would really, really love that,” Victoria admitted quietly. “I’m more than thrilled just to be talking to you and Taylor again. I might have had a shitty way of showing it, but... I really missed you guys.”

Courtney smirked, though it faded quickly. “I meant what I just said. But... I don’t think I could say the same.”

“You-”

“I don’t miss who you were,” she clarified quickly. “The girl that I knew at UCLA, who did coke by the truckload. I didn’t like her, and I never want to see her again. But… you’re not her,” she added. “Not even close.”

“… thanks,” Victoria muttered. “I don’t like that girl, either. I want to do better.”

“I can tell.” Courtney paused. “And I think if I’d went there with an open mind, I probably would’ve seen that, when we met at the park.”

She didn’t have a response for that.

“And… having a real conversation with you is actually pretty nice,” Courtney added. “So, if you promise that you really are done with the coke, then... I think I could try to be friends with Sober Victoria.”

Victoria swallowed, hard, taking a few seconds to find her voice before answering. “Sober me would really, really appreciate that,” she said, blinking rapidly. “... thank you.”

“You’re...” Courtney’s eyes were drawn to something over Victoria’s shoulder. “Taylor’s here.”

She turned as the other blonde appeared at their table, looking a little flustered. “Oh, good,” she exhaled. “You guys haven’t killed each other.”

Courtney scoffed. “I told you and Max that I would be nice.”

“Max?” Victoria glanced back at her. “I didn’t know you spoke to her.”

“Yea, she made it very clear that if I was a bitch, she’d make me regret it.”

Taylor rolled her eyes as she sat down. “No she didn’t.”

“She did, actually. I’ll show you the texts later.” Courtney smirked. “Where’ve you been?”

“Wrapping up some bullshit that wasn’t worth a Saturday afternoon. Then getting stuck in traffic.” Taylor sighed, as she practically melted into her chair. “I’ve really been hating my job more than usual lately.”

“Everything okay?”

“It is now. Just had to be a little more competent that the others in my office.” Taylor scooted closer to the table. “So... dare I ask what you guys were talking about?”

Victoria and Courtney exchanged glances. “... some stuff,” Courtney said. “Nathan, partially.”

“Oh. Right.” Taylor shook her head. “I can’t believe he actually got out.”

“I can,” Victoria said. “Especially if his dad was pulling the strings. Wonder how much those lawyers cost?”

“Well, I suppose you can’t argue that they weren’t worth it.” Taylor leaned forward. “How’s Max been taking it?”

“Better than she was when it happened.” Victoria shook her head, taking a small sip of her drink. “I think she’s... accepted it. Especially with everyone telling her that there wasn’t anything else she really could’ve done.”

Their waitress chose that moment to appear, smiling brightly. “Have we decided on what we want to eat?” she asked sweetly.

“Damnit, I haven’t even looked at the menu.” Courtney snatched one from the stack as she looked at the waitress. “Can we get a few more minutes?”

“Sure thing. I’ll be right back.”

Taylor blinked as she walked off. “... holy eyeliner, Batman.”

Courtney snorted in amusement, as Victoria sighed. “You know, some of us have chosen to judge silently.”

“Hey man, did you see that makeup job? If it was any thicker, she’d be ready to rob a bank.”


	44. Craving

**Apr 18th, 2020**

**Days Sober: 321 **

_I am so goddamn tired._

Victoria rubbed her eyes as she took a deep breath, before she re-entered the kitchen. The restaurant had gotten slammed with several large groups at once, in addition to their usual Saturday night fare. Everyone was hustling as they delivered food, took orders, and cleared tables in an attempt to alleviate the thirty-minute wait times.

When coupled with her lack of sleep the previous night, Victoria felt extra-ragged. And the past seven hours of work wasn’t helping.

_Won’t have to worry about that tonight. I’m about to sleep like the dead._ She gathered the food for another table, arranging it on her tray before bringing it out. On the way back to the table, she dodged two other waitresses as they scurried past her with their own food and drink orders. _If the workload doesn’t kill me first._

“Okay, I’ve got sausage lasagna, shrimp linguini, and the eggplant parmesan,” she informed the table of four as she started setting meals out. “Your fettuccini alfredo wasn’t quite ready, ma’am, but the chef should have it out in a few-”

“I’m sorry, but we haven’t gotten our appetizer yet,” the first man interrupted. “Where’s our calamari?”

Victoria frowned as she tucked her tray under her arm. “Another waitress should have brought it out ten minutes ago. Did it not make it’s way to your table?”

“We haven’t seen it.”

“Okay. I’ll go check on that for you.”

* * *

“You said table eight.”

Victoria pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to stay calm. “I said table EIGHTEEN.”

“I heard you say table eight.”

“That’s not even in my section! Why the hell would I say table eight?!”

“I don’t know!” The brunette waitress exclaimed. “I’m not running the board, and I didn’t have time to ask!”

“Okay, enough,” their manager interjected. “So you brought a plate of calamari to table eight. Did they tell you that they didn’t order it?”

The brunette shook her head. “Why the hell would they?” Victoria asked curtly. “It’s a fuckin’ fifteen-dollar appetizer that they didn’t pay for. I wouldn’t turn it away either.”

“Fine. It happened, and there isn’t anything we can do about it now.” The manager sighed. “I’ll take the price off their check. Let me know if they still want one, and it’ll be on the house.”

Victoria grunted in acknowledgement as she turned away, retrieving the fourth plate of food before she headed back into the dining room. She put on her best smile as she arrived at the table. “Here you go, ma’am,” she said as she set down the final meal. “Now, I am so sorry, but it looks like one of our newer waitresses got the table numbers mixed up and brought your appetizer to someone else by mistake.”

The diners all groaned. “Really?” the first one asked, in a tone that Victoria tried to pretend wasn’t too condescending.

_It wasn’t my fault, you fucking..._

“Again, sir, I am so sorry,” she repeated. “My manager has already deducted the cost from your check, so if you still want the calamari, it’ll be on the house.”

“... sure,” he sighed. “Thank you.”

She departed, heading back for the computer as she punched in another order for the appetizer. Then she went back out to clean a table, picking up the signed check as she wiped it down. She took a second to examine it prior to putting it in her apron.

_Eight-dollar tip, on a hundred-and-thirty-dollar check. Thanks, you fucking cheapskates. _She squeezed the rag as she wiped the crumbs, her knuckles turning white. _Christ, when a night. Shitty tips, idiot coworkers, and goddamn-_

“I’m sorry, miss?”

She glanced at the table beside her, putting on a smile again. “Yes sir?”

He indicated the empty wine glasses in front of him and a woman Victoria presumed was his wife. “Would you get us some refills?”

_... is it not clear that I’m FUCKING BUSY?!_

“I’m sorry, sir, but you’re not in my section,” Victoria explained apologetically. “I’ll go find your waitress as soon as I-”

“Can’t you just put in the order really quick?” the man asked in a nasally voice.

“I can’t, sir, not for a beverage with alcohol on a ticket that doesn’t belong to-”

“But it’ll only take you two seconds.”

For a second, she wasn’t there; she was taking her notepad from her apron and swinging it into his stupid face. Then she was taking the knife from the table and stabbing him in the heart, over and over, while he screamed in agony...

“I apologize, sir, but our system won’t let me.” She stood back upright. “I’ll have your waitress take care of it right away.”

She stalked off before the man could reply. On her way back to the kitchen, she passed a red-headed waitress with a ponytail. “Table twenty wants more wine,” she mentioned.

“They do?” She frowned. “I was just-”

“Don’t care.” Victoria moved past her, pushing through the door. She took a second to leaned against the wall, closing her eyes.

_Fucking hell, my feet hurt._

_And my head._

_And I am SO goddamn tired. Christ, I could really use some-_

She flinched violently, her eyes snapping back open as she blinked.

_… whoa._

Victoria shook her head as she stood back upright and walked back to the kitchen. _Don’t think about it, don’t think about it, don’t think about it..._

Too late. Telling herself not to think about it, shockingly, wasn’t helping. Nor was the very familiar buzzing in the back of her head. As she stood in the kitchen, she felt her mind go momentarily blank, and she realized that she’d completely forgotten what she was supposed to do.

“Hey, Andy?” she asked quietly, as she turned to her manager.

“Yea?”

“Can I take my break now?”

“Um...” he glanced around. “Sure. I can cover for you.”

* * *

She spent five minutes outside, leaning against the brick wall of the restaurant, trying to slow her breathing.

Then she spent another couple of minutes walking in circles. Trying to think of anything else, to distract herself.

Neither action worked. She still wanted a line of coke. Really, REALLY bad.

“Shit,” she muttered, as she retrieved her phone. “I was doing so fuckin’ good.”

**Victoria:** ... I just felt the world’s worst craving.

She stared at the phone for a few seconds before the checkmark appeared, showing that Max had seen the message. Then her phone immediately started to vibrate with an incoming call.

“Hello?”

“_A craving for what?_” Max asked immediately.

Victoria snorted in amusement. “What do YOU think?”

“_Are you okay? What’s going on?_”

She sighed, as she resumed leaning against the brick wall. “Nothing. It’s just... been a long night. And work sucks right now. I’ve wanted to kill, like, three people in the last ten minutes.”

“_Have you called Steph?_”

“She’s helping with her mom, remember?”

“_Oh. Right._ _When do you get off work?_”

Victoria checked her watch. “An hour.”

“_Will you be alright until then?_”

“Yea.”

“_You sure?_”

She smirked. “I’m just now getting my break. I don’t have time to do anything stupid tonight.”

“_Okay._” Max paused. “_Do good, Victoria. It’ll be alright._”

“If you say so.”

* * *

The rush finally slowed about thirty minutes after Victoria went back to work. But the last hour of her shift still seemed to drag out forever. By the time she clocked out, she was more than ready to go home.

She wasn’t surprised to spot a familiar brunette waiting for her in the restaurant entrance.

“How did I figure you’d be here?” she asked in a tired voice.

“Because you know me. And that I’m really good at this whole ‘helping with sobriety’ thing.” Max removed her hand from her hoodie pocket, extending it towards her. “Lollypop?”

Victoria frowned at the candy. “Where the hell did you get that?”

“I saw them in a convenience store on the way over.”

“And... what? You just figured that I’d want one after a long day?”

Max shrugged. “I mean, if you don’t...”

“... screw it.” Victoria took the candy, unwrapping and jamming it in her mouth. “Can we go now?”

The brunette held the door open for her as they walked outside. “How was the rest of your shift?”

“Long and exhausting.” Victoria rubbed the back of her neck. “I just want to go home and put my feet up. I’m so fuckin’ tired right now.”

“Mm. I bet.” Max looked at her sideways as they strolled down the sidewalk. “And... are you still feeling the craving?”

Victoria blew air out her nose as she worked the lollypop around her mouth, finally pulling it back out with a _pop._ “A little,” she admitted quietly. “I’m, uh... sorry.”

Max frowned. “Why are you sorry?”

“Because it’s been months. I thought I was over this kind of thing.”

“You know that’s not how this works,” Max admonished her lightly. “You’re an addict. The cravings will come and go, probably for years.”

Victoria sighed. “You’ve said that. It doesn’t get any easier to hear.”

“But they have gotten easier to get over,” Max prodded. “Haven’t they?”

“Yea.”

“You still remember the Steps about recognizing and changing destructive behaviors?”

“Yes.”

“And are you gonna run out tonight and do coke?”

She rolled her eyes. “No.”

“Then I would still say that your progress over the past ten months has been impressive.” Max smirked as she elbowed Victoria lightly. “The occasional craving is normal. Don’t beat yourself up over it.”

Victoria grinned as she rubbed her arm dramatically. “Ouch.”

“Oh, shut up. That wasn’t hard.”

“Still hurts.”

“What, you want a band-aid for your boo-boo?”

“Gee, Max, I can’t believe that I’m lucky enough to have a Sober Companion that doesn’t mind the occasional Assault and Battery,” Victoria commented dryly. “Maybe I should file a-”

“If it ain’t my favorite customer.”

She stopped walking, her blood running cold as she froze in place, the lollypop slowly slipping from between her fingers. After a couple of seconds, she looked over her shoulder.

A familiar man was standing behind her. Wearing his damn Seahawks hoodie.

“Where you been hiding at, snowflake?” he drawled as he took a few steps forward. “I was wondering if you forgot my number.”

Beside her, Max frowned at the intrusion. “Who are you?”

“Damn, you got a fine friend, too.” He flashed her a wide smile. “Name’s Marcus, baby girl. What’s yours?”

Max straightened up at the name. “You’re... Marcus?”

“The one and only.”

“No. We’re leaving.” Max grabbed Victoria’s arm, pulling her down the sidewalk. “Come on. Let’s go.”

“Hey, hey, slow your roll,” he exclaimed as he trotted in front of them and turning to walk backwards. “Come on, snowflake, I haven’t seen you in a hot minute. What’chu been up to?”

Victoria finally found her voice. “Piss off,” she said as she let Max pull her around him. “I don’t want any.”

“Damn, snowflake, I’m starting to think we ain’t friends no mo.”

“She said to piss off,” Max snapped, as she continued to pull Victoria’s arm. “Take the hint, you fucking mouth-breather.”

“Shit, girl, we on pet names and we ain’t even know each other yet.” He never stopped flashing his trademark smirk as he talked. “So what’s the word snowflake? We looking to party or what?”

“Fuck you.” Victoria’s voice found some of it’s edge. “Go find another customer, asshole. I told you already-”

“And I told you that ain’t nobody just hops off the candy express.” He practically shoved himself between the two of them. Max wound up letting go of Victoria’s arm to avoid him, and they stopped again. “Come on, white girl, I got a new hookup.”

“I don’t care!” Victoria bit out, glaring at him. “Go piss up a fuckin’ rope!”

“You say that, girl. But this new shit’s always clean, and it makes you feel like the whole world’s your fuckin’ oyster.” Marcus grinned connivingly. “You ain’t never had nothin’ like this. You take a hit, you’ll be beggin’ to suck me dry to get another-”

“Hello, nine-one-one?”

Both of them snapped their heads around to see Max glaring at Marcus, her cell phone to her ear. “I need help,” she continued. “My friend and I are getting harassed by a drug dealer.”

“Put down that fuckin’ phone.” Marcus’ tone shifted, going totally flat, which made the hair on the back of Victoria’s neck stand up. “Bitch, you’d better-”

“That’s right. We’re at Ninth and Bell.” Max’s glare didn’t abate as she looked at him defiantly. “He won’t leave us alone.”

“Max, stop,” Victoria breathed, her heart rate spiking. “Max, please hang up. We need to go.”

“You’d better listen to the snowflake, you scrawny little bitch.”

Max narrowed her eyes, setting her jaw. “Yes. His name’s Marcus. He’s black, about six feet tall, wearing a Seahawks-”

He moved so fast, Victoria barely saw it. His hand swung around, smashing into the side of Max’s head and throwing her to the ground.

“You little BITCH!!” he snarled as he stomped on Max’s phone, the glass and metal breaking under his foot. The brunette struggled in front of him, trying to get back on her feet, as Marcus got closer. “You think you can just-”

Victoria yelled, a primal voice from deep in her throat, and he turned as she threw herself into him. Her hands were like windmills as she swung wildly, trying to land as many hits as hard as possible.

It was hardly effective; Marcus had over sixty pounds of muscle and eight inches of height over her. It didn’t take long for him to force her off, shoving her with both hands. She flew backwards into the brick wall of the closest building, slamming into it bodily. In less than a second, she had a pair of hands around her throat.

“Fucking white bitches,” he sneered as he squeezed. Victoria gasped for air as she started hitting his arms and kicking at him, with little effect. “You all think you’re so goddamn-”

A pair of arms wrapped around his neck as Max jumped on his back. He immediately released Victoria, dropping her to the ground as he swung for the brunette behind him. The blonde coughed violently, trying to regain her breath as Max and Marcus scuffled above her.

It didn’t take long for the drug dealer to peel Max off of him and shove her into the wall beside Victoria. The brunette continued to fight back, clawing at Marcus’s exposed face and arms as he struggled to get his hands on her; every time he got close, she inflicted new marks that made him grunt in pain.

“You little fucking...” he swung for Max, missing narrowly. She rewarded his effort by catching his eyebrow with her nails, digging a deep gouge into his face. “FUCK!!” he exclaimed, throwing her hand off of him. “You little BITCH!!”

A click came from his pocket, and he pushed himself against Max violently. She gasped, freezing in place against the wall.

Then Marcus fled, his feet pounding on the sidewalk as he vanished down the street.

“Ma-” Victoria coughed. “... Max?”

The brunette didn’t respond, as she held both her hands against her stomach. A look of utter shock and astonishment was on her face.

“Max? Are you-” Victoria coughed again, hanging onto the wall while struggling to her feet. “Are you okay?”

“… ow.”

“What? Why are-”

Victoria stepped on something uneven. She looked down to see the handle of a knife under the ball of her foot. In the flickering streetlights, the unfolded serrated blade looked shiny and slick with a dark substance.

It took her a few seconds before she realized what it was.

She looked back up as blood began seeping from between Max’s fingers, the brunette’s legs starting to wobble.

“MAX!!” Victoria screamed as she jumped forward, catching her friend as she fell. She quickly lowered her to the ground, rolling her onto her back. “No, no, NO!! MAX!!”

The brunette twisted her face in pain as she gasped repeatedly.

“Don’t move! Max, don’t move!” Victoria pulled her phone from her pocket with fumbling hands, almost dropping it before she unlocked it and started dialing. She pushed her free hand on top of Max’s, applying pressure as the call connected. “Come on, come on, come on...”

“_Nine-one-one, what is your emergency?_”

“I need help!” Victoria exclaimed. “My friend was stabbed! I need an ambulance!”

“_Okay ma’am, what’s your location?_”

“We’re at, oh shit... Ninth! We’re at Ninth and Bell!” Victoria put more pressure on Max’s hands, and the brunette finally let out a cry of pain. “She got stabbed by a drug dealer! You need to hurry!”

“_We’re sending units now, ma’am. I need you to tell me what happened, so we-_”

“She got stabbed!” Victoria yelled. “Please, you have to-”

As she watched, Max slowly stopped moving. The brunette’s eyes rolled back in her head as she went limp, her hands slipping off the wound.

“NO!!” Victoria dropped her phone as she pushed both hands against Max’s stomach, feeling the warmth of her friend’s blood as the coppery smell hit her nose. “MAX!! MAX, WAKE UP!!”

Nothing. The brunette didn’t stir.

“HELP!!” Victoria screamed, looking around frantically; there wasn’t anyone nearby, and the street was practically empty. “SOMEBODY HELP ME!!”


	45. Surgery

It wasn’t more than a few minutes, but it seemed like hours passed, before the first cop car screeched to a halt next to her.

Her throat had hurt from screaming non-stop. One officer had immediately broken out a first aid kit while the other asked her what had happened. She vaguely remembered stammering out an explanation, the cop relaying her description of Marcus into his radio.

A second cop car had arrived quickly, followed by paramedics. The EMTs had taken over from there, applying dressings to Max’s stomach before loading her onto the gurney. Victoria had followed them into the back of the ambulance, and they’d arrived at the emergency room a few minutes later. The nurses had placed her in the waiting room while Max was whisked away into the back, behind a set of heavy double doors.

She’d been sitting there for close to an hour, barely moving as she stared at the doors. Every time they opened, she tensed up, waiting for the nurse or doctor to find her and give her news, but each time they’d gone off elsewhere, allowing the cycle to repeat itself.

Finally, a nurse in blue scrubs walked out and made eye contact with her.

Victoria jumped to her feet as she approached. “Is she okay!?” she asked in a rapid tone. “What’s happening!? Where is she!?”

“Miss, please take it easy,” the nurse said gently. “Who are you to Miss Caulfield, exactly?”

“We’re… she’s my…” Victoria stopped and took a second. “We live together. She’s my… friend.”

“Okay. Why don’t we sit.”

A feeling of dread took root in Victoria’s stomach as she fell back into her chair, staring at the nurse in horror. “… is she…”

“She’s alive,” the nurse assured her quickly, as she sat across from her. “But she’s pretty badly hurt and bleeding internally. We’ve paged the on-call trauma surgeon, and she’s being brought to an operating room.”

“Oh, God.” Victoria leaned forward, suddenly feeling incredibly nauseous as she hyperventilated. “Oh, God, oh, God…”

“Miss… I’m sorry, what’s your name?”

She glanced back up, taking a shaky breath. “Victoria.”

“Victoria, does Miss Caulfield-”

“Max. Her name’s Max.”

“Okay. Does Max have any family nearby?” the nurse asked. “Anyone who would be a next-of-kin?”

“Um…” Victoria struggled to think. “Yea. Her parents. She said they live in Kenmore.”

“Do you have their number? We’re going to need to get ahold of them, in case medical decisions need to be made on her behalf.”

She shook her head.

“What about a name? Something we can look up on social media?”

“Um…” Victoria racked her brain. “Ryan. I’m pretty sure her father’s name is Ryan.”

The nurse nodded as she scribbled on her notepad. “Okay. We’re gonna find them and get them down here.” She hesitated. “You, ah, may want to wash up.”

She glanced down. Her hands, up past her wrists, were stained red with Max’s blood. As were the knees of her jeans. “… yea.”

“The bathroom’s down the hall there, on your left.”

Victoria followed the instructions, pushing her way inside with her shoulder. She held her hands under the faucet, the motion turning the water on as she started scrubbing. The blood ran slowly off of her hands, swirling down the drain.

Most of it, anyway.

She waved her hand under the soap dispenser, and it squirted out foam. She started scrubbing harder. More of the blood washed away, but there was still spots that were stubborn; the corners of her cuticles, and the small creases of her knuckles.

She scrubbed harder.

Nothing.

She got more soap from the dispenser.

Nothing. The water still ran clear.

Victoria grabbed paper towels and wet them with water and soap, rubbing them against her skin so hard and fast that it hurt. She grit her teeth as she went at the stains like sandpaper.

Nothing. The spots were still there.

“FUCK!!” she screamed, throwing a punch at the mirror. Her hand bounced off harmlessly.

Victoria held her hand, hyperventilating as she stood hunched over the sink, eyes squeezed tight against the pain that radiated from her knuckles. Her breathing started to catch after a few seconds, the gasps turning into sobs as tears streamed from her eyes.

* * *

It wasn't long before Max’s parents arrived.

About thirty minutes after she sat back down in the waiting room, two adults raced through the doors of the ER, making straight for the desk and asking frantic questions. Victoria kept her gaze on her feet, trying not to look.

She didn’t have to. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched the nurse point towards her after a few minutes.

Max’s mother didn’t move, as she continued to talk to the nurse. Her father, Ryan, made his way over. Victoria couldn’t bring herself to look at him as he stopped in front of her.

“Were you with my daughter?”

She glanced up, meeting Ryan’s eyes. After a few seconds, she nodded.

“Are you hurt?”

She shook her head.

Ryan exhaled slowly, a shaky breath leaving his lungs. “Can you please tell me what happened?” he asked quietly. “They just said that she came in, but…”

Victoria sniffled. “… it’s my fault,” she replied, her voice cracking.

“It’s... what?”

“It was my old dealer.” She looked back down at her feet. “He was hassling us. Wouldn’t leave us alone. She called the cops, to try and get him to go away, and he…” her breathing hitched, and she could feel her eyes getting moist again. “He just… I’m…”

Victoria started choking, as she pressed both hands into her eyes.

After a few seconds, she felt Ryan taking a seat next to her. A heavy hand touched her shoulder. “You’re the girl my daughter’s been trying to help, aren’t you?”

She nodded.

“Where did you get those bruises on your neck?”

Victoria hadn’t realized that she had bruises. She sniffled deeply as she moved her hands, feeling the tender skin. After a few seconds, she shrugged silently.

“Are you okay?”

“She was trying to get him off of me.” She glanced back at Ryan, unable to tell what kind of expression he had on his face; her vision was too watery to see. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I swear to God, I… I’d do anything…”

Her voice caught again, and she struggled to draw breath.

“Easy. Easy. Come on, relax. Head down.” Ryan squeezed Victoria’s shoulder, as she followed his instructions. “Take a deep breath.”

She inhaled slowly, trying to do as he said. Her breath was still shaky as she snorted, trying to wipe her eyes and nose while tears still streamed down her face.

“The nurse said that the surgery is going well,” he told her as she focused on her breathing. “Max is still in the OR, but the doctor already stopped the bleeding. And she said the knife didn’t do any damage that they can’t fix. They expect to bring her out in a couple of hours.”

Victoria glanced at him. “She’ll be…”

“Yes. She’ll be fine.” He let go of her shoulder and rubbed her back. “Come on. Keep breathing.”

She sniffled, wiping her eyes again. “I’m sorry, Mister Caulfield,” she whimpered in a broken voice. “I’m so fuckin’ sorry.”

“It’s okay…” he paused. “You know, I didn’t get your name.”

“Victoria.”

“It’s okay, Victoria. Max will be fine.”

She sniffed deeply, wiping her nose as she looked back at the floor. Despite Ryan’s kind words, she still felt a cold pit in her stomach.

_… it’s my fault._

Max’s mother appeared after a few minutes. She looked Victoria up and down before turning to her husband. “The nurse said there’s a surgical waiting room upstairs,” she informed him. “It’s right next to the OR. She said the doctor will find us there when Max is out of surgery.”

“Okay.” Ryan looked at Victoria. “Do you want to come up with us?”

She glanced at him and nodded.

* * *

Max’s mom was silent for most of the wait.

Ryan sat beside Victoria in the smaller waiting room. Her mother, who’d briefly introduced herself as Vanessa, sat across from them. She made no effort to speak to her or ask questions.

_She probably hates me._ Victoria kept her gaze on the floor; aside from the occasional sniffle, she was trying very hard not to make any noise. _Her daughter got stabbed because of me. I almost got her killed._

_... God, I still might’ve. She’s in emergency surgery, for fuck’s sake._

Her lips started trembling again, and her eyes began to water. She swallowed, hard, forcing everything back down; she didn’t want to draw any more ire than she likely already had from the Caulfield family.

_She’ll be fine. _

_She has to be._

_… although that’s mostly because I don’t know what I’m gonna do if she’s not._

She let out a shaky breath. _God damn it, I’m such a fucking-_

“Were you in high school with my daughter?”

Victoria blinked at the intrusion into her thoughts, as she looked up at Vanessa. “… huh?”

“I’ve been trying to figure out where I know you from.” Vanessa spoke gently, as she crossed her legs. “I seem to remember Max showing us her yearbook, after she graduated, and pointing to a girl who looked a lot like you. She told us that the girl was removed from campus after assaulting another student.”

“… yea.” Victoria sniffed again, rubbed her nose. “That was me.”

Beside her, Ryan frowned. “I don’t remember that.”

“You might’ve been at work.” Vanessa looked back at Victoria. “Max said that you were on drugs. Is that true?”

Victoria nodded sullenly.

“Even back then? In high school?”

“I, uh…” she squirmed uncomfortably. “I wasn’t a very good person.”

“Why?”

Victoria tried to gauge Vanessa, to figure out what the woman was after. But Max’s mother seemed genuinely curious and non-judgmental. Her tone wasn’t condescending, and she looked concerned.

“Because I hated everyone and everything,” she finally answered quietly. “I didn’t want to be at Blackwell. I thought everybody there was beneath me, and I hated my family for sending me there.”

“And the drugs… helped?”

Victoria scoffed. “Definitely not,” she muttered. “But they made everything… bearable, I guess.”

Vanessa hummed. “I’m sorry. I know I probably shouldn’t pry. I’ve just been curious about who Max has been helping since she came back to Seattle. All we ever got out of her was that you were a girl.”

“It’s… fine.”

“How long has Max been helping you?”

“Three hundred and twenty-one days.” She hesitated. “Almost. I got to rehab about a few days after my overdose.”

“Oh, my.” Vanessa paused. “Has she been… helpful?”

“She made me a better person.,” Victoria admitted. “She’s the only reason I’ve been sober so long.”

“Really?”

She sniffled, her lip trembling again as she turned back to the floor. “I’m sorry,” she whimpered quietly. “It’s my fault. I’m-”

“Hey, stop that,” Ryan told her. “We told you, it’s not your fault.”

“He was my old drug dealer.” Victoria wiped her eyes. “She was trying to get him away from me.”

Vanessa slowly stood, sliding over to sit down on the other side of Victoria. The blonde couldn’t get herself to look at her, so when she felt the hand on her arm, she flinched in surprise.

“My daughter’s always given everything of herself to people who need it,” Vanessa said. “I am not surprised in the slightest that she ran swinging towards a drug dealer to help you.”

“I-”

“Max will be fine,” she continued. “The nurse told us that her surgeon is one of the best in the country, and her injury is very survivable. I’m sure the police will find your former dealer, and arrest him for what he did. But they’re not going to arrest you, because this was not your fault.”

Victoria sniffed deeply as she finally met Vanessa’s gaze, the older brunette squeezing her arm in comfort.

_… guess this explains where Max gets it from._

The door across the room opened, and an older doctor walked out, his surgical gown flapping behind him. The three of them immediately jumped up to meet him. “Is she okay?” Ryan asked quickly.

“Yes. She is.” The doctor smiled tiredly, as he removed a cap from his head. “We stopped the bleeding, and we were able to repair the damage done by the knife. Your daughter will be just fine.”

Victoria’s breath exploded from her lungs as her knees buckled. Vanessa had to grab her to make sure she didn’t hit the ground, as the blonde started sobbed in relief.

Ryan, for his part, heaved a huge sigh as he dragged both of his hands down his face. “Thank you,” he breathed. “Thank you so much.”

“When can we see her?” Vanessa asked, as she pulled Victoria back upright. The blonde clutched the older brunette’s shirt tightly, crying into the fabric.

“We’ll be bringing her to the ICU in about twenty minutes,” he informed them, not batting an eye at Victoria. “You’ll be able to see her then.”

Ryan thanked him again, as Vanessa hugged Victoria. “See? She’ll be okay,” Vanessa assured her. “She’ll be fine.”

Victoria snorted back snot, trying not to ruin Vanessa’s shirt. She was still crying too hard to formulate a response.

“Victoria?” Ryan laid a land on her arm. “I know Max’s friends will be worried about her. You should let them know that she’ll be okay.”

She sniffed, trying to steady her breathing. “… I haven’t told them yet,” she sniveled.

“Why don’t you do that. I’m sure they’ll want to know.”

Victoria nodded as she finally let go of Vanessa, retrieving her phone from her pocket.

* * *

**Steph:** Max got stabbed. She’s in the hospital. Just went through surgery. Getting moved to the ICU.

**Kate:** WHAT?!?!

**Courtney: **What do you mean she got stabbed?! What the fuck happened?!

**Taylor:** Where is she?! Which hospital?!

**Steph:** Seattle General. And I’m not sure, Victoria wasn’t very coherent when she called.

**Kate:** Is Max okay?!

**Steph:** Dunno.

**Courtney:** What DO you know?!

**Steph:** That I’m texting while fucking driving! You three aren’t the only ones who want answers!!

**Taylor:** I’m getting dressed.

**Kate:** Me too. I’ll be there as soon as I can.

**Courtney:** … fuck it, I'll be there too. My boss owes me time off.

**Kate:** What about her parents?

**Steph:** Think they’re already there.

**Taylor:** Did she say if Max was going to be okay?

**Kate:** What about her? Is she alright?

**Courtney:** Yea, she didn’t say anything else?

**Steph:** I DO NOT HAVE ANSWERS

**Steph:** I AM ON MY WAY TO GET THEM

**Steph:** I HOPE TO SEE ALL OF YOU IMPATIENT MOTHERFUCKERS THERE


	46. Coffee

**Apr 19th, 2020**

**Days Sober: 322 **

Victoria could barely look at Max without her eyes getting watery.

The brunette lay unconscious in her hospital bed, an oxygen tube running around her face. A pair of IV bags hung from the stand, the tubes plugged into a spot on her arm. More wires were connected to her chest, running to a monitor beside her bed that beeped rhythmically with her heartbeat.

It had been several hours since her surgery. The nurses had told them that they didn’t expect her to wake until morning, and that she would need time to recover. But all Victoria wanted was for Max to wake up, so she could apologize. Profusely, and repeatedly.

Ryan and Vanessa both sat in chairs by Max’s bedside. Neither of them had gotten up since they’d sat down hours prior, other than to greet visitors. Other than occasional text to extended family, they had spent most of the night watching over their daughter.

Steph sat beside Victoria, rubbing her eyes as she muffled a yawn. She had been the first to arrive, half an hour after the phone call. The stampeding feet had announced her long before she swung around the door frame, out of breath and frantically asking what had happened.

Taylor and Kate had arrived right behind her, within ten minutes of each other. The two blondes were sitting across the room from the others. Kate worked a phone with her hands, texting with Lynn as her sister watched the baby. Taylor slept lightly, her head perched on one hand as she dozed in her chair.

Courtney had arrived last, of course, shortly after midnight. By that point, they were out of chairs, so she sat on the windowsill behind Steph. She slowly sipped a cup of coffee she’d gotten from a nearby vending machine, the only sound in the room.

Steph finally looked over her shoulder, the first movement she’d made in an hour. “Is that coffee any good?” she asked quietly.

Courtney finished her sip, swallowing before she answered. “No.”

“How bad is it?”

“Literally the worst I’ve ever had.”

“Drinkable?”

“Depends on your gag reflex.”

“There’s a café on the ground floor,” Kate piped up. “They’ve probably got better coffee.”

“There is?”

“In the main lobby, near the south entrance. Didn’t you see it when you came in?”

“I parked at the north entrance.” Courtney looked down at her cup. “… screw it, I’m going. I need caffeine that doesn’t taste like socks.”

“Same here. I’ll come with.” Steph stood, stretching her arms as she looked around. “Ryan, Vanessa, do you guys want some?”

They both looked at each other. “I don’t think we’d turn down some coffee,” Vanessa agreed. “Thank you.”

“No prob. Kate?”

She looked up and shook her head. “I’m still breastfeeding. I can’t have caffeine. But if they have any OJ…”

“Sure thing.” Steph glanced to her left. “Victoria?”

“I’m fine,” she muttered.

“Come on. When was the last time you had anything substantial?”

“I don’t need anything.”

Ryan turned to look at her. “You’ve been here all night, Victoria. You should get some coffee. And probably some food, too.”

“He’s right, Vic,” Courtney agreed. “Breakfast does sound pretty good.”

Victoria shook her head. “I’m-”

“Shut up. It’s been decided.” Steph extended her hand. “Get up.”

She glanced at her. “I don’t want to leave.”

“Max will be fine, Victoria,” Kate assured her. “I’ll stay here, and let you guys know if anything changes.”

“See? Max will still have a few babysitters.” Steph stepped closer. “Come on. Besides, I’m sure the others would like us to bring them some food, too, and we’ll need the extra hands.”

Victoria was still torn, as she looked between Steph and Max. She sighed after a few seconds.

_… coffee does sound really good._

“Okay,” she muttered. She took Steph’s hand, the brunette pulling her upright.

* * *

“That smells SO much better than the fuckin’ vending machine.”

Steph smirked as they waited in line. “I imagine it’s a little fresher. I can’t believe you were that desperate for coffee.”

“Dude, I’ve been up for twenty-six hours.” Courtney ground the palm of her hand into one eye. “I am literally functioning on willpower and caffeine right now.”

“That’s gonna suck when you crash.”

“No shit.”

Steph shook her head before looking at Victoria. The blonde hadn’t spoken since they left, continuously checking her phone. “Have you figured out what you wanted yet?”

“Huh?”

“For breakfast,” Steph clarified. “They’ve got a pretty good selection.”

Victoria bit her lip. “I don’t want food. I just need some coffee.”

“Yea, no way, man. I know you didn’t eat dinner last night, and it’s eight o’clock. You have to eat something.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“I didn’t ask if you were.”

“Steph, I really don’t-”

“What happened isn’t your fault,” Courtney interrupted. “Steph is right, Vic, you need to stop blaming yourself and eat some real food.”

Victoria looked away. “… it’s a little my fault.”

“No, it isn’t,” Steph countered. “Literally everyone has told you that. Including Max’s parents, by the way, so I don’t know why we have to keep repeating it.”

“He was my dealer, Steph.”

“Exactly. He WAS your dealer.” Steph crossed her arms. “Past tense. Besides, he was the one who got in your business, he started that fight, and he pulled the knife. All you did was try to get away.”

“If you really were responsible, Vic, the cops would be talking to you,” Courtney added. “This is on him.”

Victoria didn’t respond. She just pulled her phone out to check it again.

“Come on, cut that out. Kate’ll send out a group thing if Max wakes up.” Steph pulled Victoria’s arm as they got to the counter. “Figure out what you want already.”

“… fine.”

The barista leaned on the counter as they approached. “Good morning!” she said in a cheerful voice. “What can I get you guys.”

“Yea, can we get six regular coffees, a green tea, and a bottle of orange juice?” Courtney asked. “And… whatever they want for breakfast.”

Steph frowned. “Who’s the tea for?”

“Taylor doesn’t drink coffee,” Victoria told her quietly. “She only drinks green tea.”

“Then why six coffees? There’s only five of us drinking them.”

“Two of them are for me,” Courtney said irritably. “You gonna order food or not?”

* * *

The three of them were on the elevator back to the ICU twenty minutes later. Victoria carried several breakfast sandwiches in her hands, while Courtney and Steph balanced the drinks between them.

When they got out of the car, they were greeted by the sight of Kate and Taylor working their phones. The two blondes looked up as they stepped out. “We were just texting you,” Kate told them as she put her phone away. “Max is awake.”

“What?!” Victoria gasped. “When?!”

“A few minutes ago. She-”

Victoria dropped the sandwiches on a nearby chair and tried to breeze past Kate to the hospital room. Taylor bodily intercepted her, wrapping an arm around her and holding her back. “Vic, wait-"

“I want to see her, let go of-”

“They asked us to leave, Vic!”

“… they did?”

Taylor nodded as Victoria stepped back. “The doctor came in right after we got him, and asked us to step out so he could do an exam and talk to Max. They only let her parents stay with her.”

Victoria exhaled slowly. “Did she say anything? Is she in pain?”

“Not much. And she didn’t seem to be.”

“They’ve got her on Dilaudid,” Kate reminded her. “She’s probably not in any pain. But she’s probably a little out of it, too.”

“But she’s definitely awake?”

“We saw her eyes open. She is definitely awake.” Taylor took her by her arms. “Come on, sit down.”

Victoria let her friend guide her into a seat, while Steph unwrapped a breakfast sandwich and forced it into her hands. “Eat.”

“I’m not-”

“I wasn’t fucking asking. You’ll see her in a few minutes. Eat your breakfast.”

She didn’t want to. But she could tell, looking around, that there wasn’t anyone on her side. So she bit into the sandwich.

As soon as the food hit her tongue, she realized how hungry she actually was. Victoria hadn’t told the others, but all she’d had for lunch the day prior was a granola bar, making it closer to twenty-four hours since her last meal. She took another huge bite, devouring the sandwich in a matter of minutes.

“See?” Steph smirked as she sat across from her; Victoria had outpaced even her, the brunette only half-finished with her meal. “Knew you were hungry.”

“Shut up.” Victoria accepted a coffee from Courtney, taking a sizeable swallow. “Did the doctors say anything about Max?”

“Not in front of us.” Kate shook her head as she sipped her bottle of orange juice. “I’m sure they have a few things to go over with them. Let’s just give them a little-”

The door to the room opened beside them, the others looking up as a doctor and a pair of nurses filed out. Ryan followed, thanking them all quietly before turning to everyone. “They said we’re out of the woods,” he told them. “She’ll have to stay here for a few days to fully recover, but she’ll be fine.”

A collective sigh of relief came from everyone. “Is she still awake?” Steph asked.

“She is. Though she’s pretty tired.” Ryan glanced at Victoria. “She asked about you as soon as she could.”

“… she did?”

“Yes.” He beckoned her inside. “She wants to see you.”

Victoria felt her throat clench as she walked past him, stepping into Max’s room.

The brunette looked like she was still half-asleep, her eyelids droopy as she turned her gaze from Vanessa to Victoria. Between that and the oxygen hose around her face, she looked incredibly frail, as she lay splayed out on her bed with the blanket drawn up.

Her lip was already quivering as Victoria got to the edge of her bed, both hands grabbing the rail for support. Max licked her lips slowly as she met Victoria’s gaze.

“… you look like hell,” she rasped quietly.

The sob broke through before Victoria could stop it. She dropped to one knee as she leaned forward, burying her head in Max’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” she cried. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry Max, I’m so sorry…”

She felt the brunette’s hand on the back of her head after a few seconds. “It’s okay,” Max whispered back. “It’s okay, Victoria.”

Victoria ignored her, as she cried into Max’s gown.

* * *

“Does it hurt?”

Max glanced at Kate, standing by the foot of her bed. It had taken Victoria a few minutes to calm down, and the blonde was still standing next to the bed as she wiped her eyes. “A little,” Max admitted softly. “And it’s kinda fuzzy.”

“I bet.” Steph looked at the IVs. “The docs got you on the good painkillers, man.”

“Explains why my head’s so heavy.” Max licked her lips again. “… is there any water?”

“Oh, it’s…” Vanessa looked around. “Victoria, it’s on your side.”

Victoria retrieved the cup, holding it to Max as she held the straw for her. The brunette greedily drank several mouthfuls before she let go. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Victoria said quietly. “You need any more?”

“No, I’m good.”

“Is there anything else you need?” Taylor asked. “We can get it for you.”

Max shook her head, then blinked, focusing on Courtney. “… you drove up from Portland?”

“You got stabbed,” she retorted. “Of course I did.”

“I didn’t think you liked me that much.”

“I don’t hate you, man. And I definitely don’t want to see you dead.”

“Aww.” Max smiled. “I knew we were friends.”

Courtney smirked. “‘Friend’ is a strong word.”

There was a knock at the door, drawing everyone’s attention as a nurse opened it. “How are you doing, Miss Caulfield?” she asked gently.

“Fine.” Max exhaled slowly. “Tired.”

“I’m sure. Do you think you’re up for talking to the police?”

“Did they find the guy?” Ryan asked quickly, as he stood from his chair.

“I don’t know, sir. They just said they needed to talk to her. And you,” she added, looking at Victoria. “They didn’t say why.”

Everyone looked at Max. After a few seconds, the brunette nodded.

A couple of minutes after the nurse left, a tall woman with red hair stepped into the hospital room. She wore business attire, dark slacks with a white blouse and black blazer, almost looking like some of the executives Victoria had seen working with her father. Only the badge clipped to her lapel and the gun on her hip gave her real job away. A male officer in his uniform walked in right behind her.

“Maxine Caulfield?” the woman asked.

“Max,” she corrected, fatigue evident in her voice. “Yea, that’s me.”

“Max, then.” She looked at Victoria. “And you’re Victoria Chase?”

Victoria nodded.

“It’s good to meet you both. I’m Detective Hogan, Seattle PD.” She looked around. “Could we ask everyone else to step outside?”

The others complied, filing out silently. “Us too?” Vanessa asked, gesturing between her and Ryan.

“If you could. We’ll try not to be too long.”

They nodded and stood, following the others out as Kate shut the door behind them.

“Did you find him?” Victoria asked quietly. “Did you catch Marcus?”

“I’ll get to that, Miss Chase. But we have a protocol that we need to follow.” Hogan produced a voice recorder from her pocket. “Is it okay if we tape this conversation?”

Max and Victoria exchanged glances, before shrugging.

“Thank you.” Hogan hit a button on the recorder, and a red light turned on as she cleared her throat. “This is Detective Amelia Hogan, badge six-nine-nine-three, conducting an interview in relation to case two-zero-three-one-nine. Talking to the victim Maxine Caulfield, AKA Max, and the relevant witness Victoria Chase. Mike, would you introduce yourself please?”

“Officer Michael Hulburt,” the other cop stated. “Badge seven-four-one-two-six.”

“Thank you.” Hogan set the recorder down. “Max, Victoria, I’d appreciate it if you guys told us exactly what happened last night. As much detail as possible, please. Take all the time you need.”

* * *

Victoria did most of the talking, as she explained what happened. How Max had met her at the restaurant when her shift was over, and their walk home. The eventual run-in with Marcus, the argument, Max’s phone call, and the fight.

“Why did you meet her at the restaurant?” Hogan asked Max.

Max squirmed. “… she said she was having a rough night, so I went to meet her when she got off work.”

“Mm.” Hogan looked at Victoria. “Why were you having a rough night?”

She sighed. “It was… a lot of things. There were a couple of diners who were being difficult, one table stole an appetizer meant for another, I got stiffed on a few tips, and we were slammed.”

“Okay. So Max met you and you both started walking home?”

“Yes.”

“Why did Marcus start hassling you two?”

“… I used to buy drugs from him,” Victoria admitted quietly.

Max’s hand found hers and squeezed, as Hogan nodded. “You’re not a customer anymore?”

“I’m, uh, working a program.” Victoria withdrew her key ring with sobriety chips from her picket, showing the detective. “He didn’t care, though. He was trying to get me to make a purchase. And wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.”

“Is that when you made your call to nine-one-one, Miss Caulfield?”

“I was trying to get him to go away,” Max answered quietly. “I… it’s stupid. But I figured that if he knew I was talking to the police, he’d leave. I didn’t think he’d… you know.”

“Okay.” Hogan produced a couple of pieces of paper from her blazer pocket. “I’m going to show you a few pictures, Miss Caulfield. If you could point out anyone you recognize, that would be helpful. Are you ready?”

Max nodded.

“Good.” Hogan handed Max the paper. “Please take all the time you need, but if you recognize anyone-”

“Number two.”

Hogan paused, as Max pointed to one of the pictures. “Are you sure?”

“Hundred percent.” Max tapped the paper. “That’s him.”

“Okay.” Hogan took the paper from Max, then turned and handed the second paper to Victoria. “And you, Miss Chase? Do you recognize anyone?”

Victoria immediately found the photo of Marcus. “Number five,” she said as she pointed. “I’m positive.”

“Very well, then.” Hogan took the pictures back and looked at the other cop. “Anything to add, Mike?”

“No, Detective.”

“Then this concludes the interview.”

Hogan picked the recorder back up and turned it off. “So did you get him?” Victoria asked immediately.

“Yes, we did. Units picked up Marcus LaVerne early this morning at a friend’s apartment.” Hogan nodded. “He’s in custody right now. We found blood on his shoes, and we’ll probably be able to pull fingerprints off his knife. The ADA will likely go after him for attempted murder.”

Victoria sighed in relief as she squeezed Max’s hand back. “How much time will he do?”

“He’ll likely plead down to aggravated assault. But we also found drugs in his car, more than enough the charge him as a dealer. He’ll do ten years at least.”

“Good.”

Hogan produced a pair of business cards, handing one to Victoria and setting another one on the table. “You guys can call me if you have any questions, or think of anything else,” she explained. “We’ll let you get back to recovering, Miss Caulfield.”

“Thank you,” Max said weakly.

With that, they walked out.

“They got the motherfucker.” Victoria looked at Max. “Hear that? They’re locking his ass up.”

“I know.” Max smiled. “You’ll never see him again.”

“I better fucking not.” Victoria tightened her grip. “If I do, I’m gonna be the one getting charged with attempted murder.”

Max sighed. “I don’t feel good enough to convince you otherwise right now.”


	47. Discharge

**Apr 25th, 2020**

**Days Sober: 328 **

“Mom, I swear to God if you don’t stop hovering, I’m going to kick you.”

Vanessa had an exasperated look on her face, as she stood in front of her daughter. “Sweetie, I’m just trying to help. I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

“I don’t need your help. Or yours,” Max added, looking at Victoria. The brunette was sitting on the edge of her hospital bed, the other two women standing on front of her. “I can get up just fine on my own.”

“We’re only here in case you fall over,” Victoria assured her.

“I’m not going to fall over. Go back to playing on your phone.”

“Max, we’re trying to help,” her mother repeated. “There’s no need to be rude.”

“I’m not rude until I kick you. Right now, I’m annoyed.”

Vanessa looked at Ryan, who was sitting back in his chair. “Are you going to help wrangle our daughter or not?”

“Nope.” Ryan shrugged. “She says she can do it. I’ll help pick her up if she’s wrong.”

“See?” Max pointed at her father. “Mom, why can’t you be more like Dad?”

“Fine.” Vanessa huffed, as she stepped back and crossed her arms. “When you fall on your face, the first words out of my mouth will be ‘I told you so’.”

Max shook her head, then took a breath as she gripped her IV stand with one arm. She used the other to slowly push herself upright, while pulling on the metal pole. After a few seconds, she was standing upright. “See?”

Victoria smirked as she watched Max’s face, the brunette grimacing. “Yea, that doesn’t look like it hurt at all.”

“It didn’t.” Max reached behind her, holding her gown closed as she took tentative steps towards the bathroom. “Go water your dad’s flowers or something.”

“Sure thing. Try to poop, would you?”

“Oh my God, shut the hell up.” Max shot the blonde a glare as she made her way to the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

“Ever since she was a little girl.” Vanessa shook her head as she sat next to Ryan. “Never wanted our help. Always had to do everything on her own. How many times did we come down in the morning, spilled milk on the counter because the jug was too heavy for her to pour in her cereal?”

“More than once,” Ryan agreed. “And once was enough.”

Victoria smirked. “Even when she was sick?”

“Oh my God, that was the worst,” Vanessa sighed. “She’d insist that she felt fine, right before she threw up. And right after.”

“Sounds like she was a difficult kid.”

“You have no idea.”

Victoria chuckled as she retrieved the water cup, pouring what was left into the vase on the table. Her parents were in Europe on another business trip, but they’d called as soon as they’d heard about Max, to make sure she was okay. The flowers had arrived a few hours later, with a small edible arrangement of fruit.

Unfortunately, Max had been put on a liquid diet right after the surgery. As a result, she hadn’t eaten anything solid in a few days. Watching Victoria and her parents eat the fruit hadn’t helped with her mood.

A nurse entered the room a few minutes later, looking around. “Where’s Max?”

“Bathroom,” Victoria and her parents answered.

“I see.” The nurse closed the door behind her. “How has she been? Still in pain?”

“Yes.” Vanessa nodded. “Though she’s not complaining about it.”

“Well, I have new orders from the doctor.” The nurse held up a tablet. “Has she had a bowel movement yet?”

As if on cue, the toilet flushed and the sink started running. The door opened shortly afterwards, as Max hobbled out, still wiping her wet hands on her gown.

She stopped, looking around at the other four people staring at her expectantly.

“Fine. Yes. I did. Are we happy now?”

Everyone started chuckling as Max made her way back to the bed, the brunette’s face turning red as the nurse examined her tablet. “That’s good, Max,” she encouraged. “When we tell the doctor, I think he’ll write your discharge paperwork.”

Max perked up as she sat down heavily on the bed. “Really?”

“I would imagine so. Especially with how well you’re healing.”

“Yes. Please. Call him, call him now,” Max said quickly. “Get me the hell out of here.”

The nurse chuckled as she departed, tapping on her tablet as she did so. “You really think you’re ready to leave?” Vanessa asked.

“Mom, I was ready to leave two days ago.” Max grunted as she pushed herself back into bed. “I want to go home. I want to sleep in my own bed, not hooked up to IV lines. In real clothes, not a gown that shows my butt whenever I turn around.”

Victoria snorted in amusement. “You should have seen how red Kate’s face got,” she mentioned.

“Shut up.”

“Are you sure? You’re still going to need help for a few days, Max.” Ryan looked at Victoria. “I mean no offense, but I’m sure you have work. Or school. You won’t be there all the time.”

“I will be FINE, Dad.”

“What about coming back with us for a few days, to Kenmore?” Vanessa offered. “Your father or I can work from home, so we can-”

“Absolutely not.” Max folded her arms. “I don’t need Victoria’s help. Or yours, or Dad’s. I need my own bed, a hot shower, and real food.”

“Sweetie, you’re still on that liquid diet for another-”

“I KNOW.”

* * *

True to the nurse’s word, the discharge order came through a couple hours later.

Steph and Taylor had already brought Max’s car to the hospital, so it was a simple matter of Victoria going to collect it. She pulled up to the entrance just as Max was wheeled out, now wearing sweatpants and one of her hoodies. Her parents were right behind her.

The nurse insisted on helping Max into the passenger seat of the car, after which Max gave quick hugs to her parents. Ryan and Vanessa also hugged Victoria, after the blonde closed Max’s door.

“Call us if she gives you trouble,” Ryan whispered in her ear. “Or if you think you’re about to murder her. Whichever.”

Victoria was still snickering as she got back in the car.

Max managed to get herself out of the car when they returned to the condo. And held herself upright as they got onto the elevator, though she leaned against the wall for the entire ride up to the sixth floor.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Victoria asked as she unlocked the condo, leading the way inside.

“I’m fine.” Max exhaled slowly. “Tired. Going to bed.”

“I bet. Do you need any hel-”

“No.”

With that, Max pushed her way into her room. Victoria followed behind her, making sure Max didn’t fall over before the brunette dropped herself into her bed with a sigh of relief.

“Okay.” Victoria smirked. “Nice job.”

“Thank you.”

“Little exhausted?”

“… maybe,” Max finally admitted.

“Do you want me to move your feet for you?”

“No. I can do it.”

“I won’t tell your parents.”

“… fine.”

Victoria knelt, sliding Max’s shoes and socks off before lifting her friend’s legs into the bed. Max immediately nestled into her sheets. “I missed you, real pillow,” she muttered dreamily.

“I’m sure it missed you too.” Victoria drew the blanket over her. “Do you want me to get some of that stuff together from your diet paper?”

“Later.” 

* * *

**Victoria:** She’s home.

**Kate:** Already? I thought she’d be in the hospital for a few days.

**Victoria:** She was pretty insistent that she was ready to leave.

**Steph:** Her stomach doesn’t hurt?

**Victoria:** No, it definitely hurts. She just won’t admit it.

**Kate:** You’re keeping an eye on her, right?

**Victoria:** Of course I am. Come on.

**Taylor:** Do you need anything? I can do a food run if you want.

**Steph:** You live ten miles out of the way.

**Taylor:** I know. I’m still offering.

**Victoria:** We’ve got it covered. I have my dad’s card, and I made an account on one of those grocery delivery services. And GrubHub.

**Steph:** Just let us know if you need help with Max, then.

**Kate:** Lynn said she’d watch her, if you need to go to work.

**Victoria:** I might take her up on it. But I’m off for the next couple of days.

**Taylor:** You’ll let us know if anything happens?

**Victoria:** I’ll keep you all in my texts.

* * *

Max’s dinner actually depressed Victoria more than she was willing to admit.

The liquid diet she’d been put on allowed for some variety, but not a lot. Nor did it allow for much in the way of seasoning. She was essentially limited to soup and juice.

_Least she can have ice cream._ Victoria glanced at the fridge, where she’d stashed a gallon of vanilla. _And chocolate syrup. Maybe that’ll make up for this prison meal._

She was just retrieving one of the cans she’d had delivered when she heard a crash from Max’s room. Her head snapped around as she listened to the brunette choke out a cry. “Max?!”

Nothing.

Victoria dropped the can of soup as she made for the bedroom, opening the door. Max was laying on the ground, curled up in a ball as she clutched her stomach.

“Max!” Victoria ran to her and knelt, grabbing her shoulder. “What happened?”

“I, uh… I forgot I got stabbed,” Max whimpered. “Moved too fast when I tried to get up.”

“Jesus, Max…”

“I know.” Max squeezed her eyes shut. “Ouch.”

“Come on, gimme your hand.”

She pulled Max upright slowly, maneuvering her until she was sitting back on the bed. “I know you’re doing this whole Iron Man thing, but it doesn’t actually work when you’re still in this much pain,” Victoria scolded.

“Yea, yea.” Max winced as she held her abdomen. “They seem to recover a lot faster in the movies.”

“That’s because they don’t actually get stabbed.”

“I suppose that makes sense.”

Victoria smirked. “I was about to start dinner. I’m guessing you’re hungry?”

“Not really.”

“Do you have to use the bathroom?”

“No."

“Then… why were you trying to get up?”

Max looked at the cup on her nightstand. “… I’m almost out of water.”

“Ah.” Victoria picked up the glass. “I got it.”

She left, refilling it from the kitchen. Max had straightened out on the bed when she came back. “Thanks,” she muttered, accepting the cup and taking a sip.

“You’re welcome.” Victoria sat beside her. “How’s it feel?”

“Better.” Max pushed her hand into her stomach. “It still feels like there’s something in there, sort-of. Like my body hasn’t finished pushing it out, or something.”

“Does it hurt too much?”

“A bit.” Max poked her stomach and winced. “Oof. Tender spot.”

“Oh, right.” Victoria reached down and retrieved a plastic bag. “The doctor said you were supposed to change the dressing every evening. Let me see.”

“I can do it myself.”

“Okay then. Go ahead and sit up.”

Max set the glass down, then struggled to push herself onto her elbows, immediately grimacing and dropping back into her pillow. “… fine.”

Victoria smirked as Max grabbed the bottom of her shirt, rolling it up to expose the bandage. She carefully peeled the tape back, finally pulling off the whole dressing before balling it up and tossing it in the nearby garbage bin.

She thought she’d be ready to see the injury, but actually looking at the wound gave her pause. The scar was an angry red and black color, the skin bumpy from the stitches holding it together. It started raged, a few inches to the left of her belly button, and straightened out towards her hip; Victoria assumed that part was from the surgery.

“It’s not as bad as it looks,” Max assured her quietly.

“If you say so.” Victoria laid a new bandage, taping it on place. She laid the last piece of tape, her hand pressing into the gauze and feeling the rigidness of the wound. “You’re sure it doesn’t hurt too much?”

“Not as bad as it used to.”

Victoria glanced at her. “… Max, I am so sorry.”

“Hey.” Max grabbed her hand, squeezing it. “I told you already, it’s not-”

“He was my dealer. I spent years buying coke and pills off of him. If I had gotten my shit together after Blackwell, I never would’ve met him.” Victoria sniffed. “I know what you guys have told me. But if I wasn’t such a fucking idiot…”

“You’re not an idiot,” Max countered. “You just didn’t know how to cope with what happened. You had parents who were far from supportive, a long way from home, and without any friends. Yes, you made mistakes. But you have gotten so much better.”

Victoria averted her gaze. “Not really. I’m still a hot mess.”

“You’ve done everything right since you went into rehab,” Max reminded her. “You recognized all your behaviors that made you who you were. You decided to stop doing them and be a better person. You agreed to work the NA program to keep yourself sober, you’re actually putting yourself through college, and you made amends with almost everyone you hurt when you were using. Part of getting better is forgiving yourself too, you know.”

“I’m not sure I can.”

“You need to.” Max smiled. “There’s nothing for you to be sorry for.”

Victoria looked back at the dressing. Her hand still on Max’s stomach, feeling the scar beneath it as Max’s hand held hers tightly. “You really don’t hate me?”

Max squeezed Victoria’s hand again. “I don’t think I could ever hate you.”

She met Max’s eyes and knew the brunette wasn’t lying. Even laying in bed, after getting stabbed because of her, Max was still telling her that she wasn’t a bad person. And that she hadn’t done anything wrong.

Victoria made up her mind in that moment.

She slowly scooted forward as Max’s brow furrowed, the brunette clearly confused as to what she was doing. Victoria answered as she leaned forward, her lips meeting Max’s as she kissed her.

Max was blinking as they separated a few seconds later. “… Victoria, I’m not sure if-”

“I thought you were about to die.”

The brunette was taken aback as Victoria sniffed. “When you passed out on the sidewalk, I was yelling for help. Nobody came until the cops showed up. And then you got to the hospital, and the nurse said they were taking you in for emergency surgery…” she swallowed. “I’ve never been so scared in my life.”

Max laid a hand on her shoulder. “I’m fine, Victoria.”

“I know.” She bit her lip. “But for a few hours, I thought you weren’t going to be. And that if you died, it’d be my fault. I don’t think I can tell you how torn up I was before the surgeon said you’d be okay.”

“… I can’t imagine,” Max agreed quietly.

“No. You can’t.” Victoria took a shaky breath. “I don’t care, about you being my sober companion. Or staying professional, or whatever. I just… I want you, Max. Really, really bad.”

Max looked at her for several seconds, before averting her eyes. “Victoria…”

“Tell me you don’t want to forget about everything else.” Victoria said. “You being my sober companion, me being your patient or whatever. Tell me you don’t want to forget all of it.”

The brunette looked back at her after. “… I do.”

“Then can we? Please?”

She’d never seen Max look so conflicted before, as she watched the brunette wrestle with herself internally.

“… I need to think,” Max finally said quietly.

Hearing that felt like getting punched, though Victoria tried not to let it show. She kept her face neutral as she swallowed, nodding. “Okay,” she said quietly, sitting back up straight. “… do you want me to start dinner?”

Max nodded silently.

Victoria got up, heading out the door. She closed it behind her without a word.

* * *

The rest of the night was quiet. She brought Max her soup twenty minutes later, and ice cream after that. The brunette ate them both, giving her the bowls back before asking her to turn out the lights so she could sleep.

Victoria went to her own bed soon after, changing into her sweatpants and turning out the lights as she got under the covers. Then she spent about an hour, turning over as she tried not to let the worries in her mind gnaw away at her.

_I pushed too hard. _

_That was a mistake._

_God, I’m such an idiot._

More harsh criticism and self-doubt flew around her mind as she tried to get to sleep.

She was turning her pillow over, trying to make it cooler, when she heard her doorknob turn. She sat up to look just as it pushed open, revealing Max in the doorway.

Neither of them spoke as Max walked over to her bed, one hand on her stomach. The brunette took hold of a corner of the sheet, pulling up and carefully climbing in beside Victoria.

“… are you all right?” Victoria finally asked.

Max nodded.

“What does this mean?”

“I just really want to be here right now.” From the moonlight coming in through the window, Victoria saw Max biting her lip. “Is this… okay?”

“Of course it is.”

They laid back down, Max rolling over. Victoria scooted closer, behind Max, sliding one arm under the brunette’s neck as she draped her other over Max’s shoulders.

Max’s hand found hers, squeezing as Victoria closed her eyes.


	48. Confession

**Apr 26th, 2020**

**Days Sober: 329 **

_I have to tell her._

Max stared at the wall of Victoria’s bedroom as she lay in bed that morning, the sun shining through the window. She’d been awake for about twenty minutes, though she hadn’t moved. Victoria’s left hand still held hers, but the right had migrated to the brunette’s hips, the hand now hovering near Max’s scar.

_She’s going to hate me._

_She’s going to think I’m selfish. That it’s the only reason I’ve stuck around. That it’s why I won’t let things go further._

_But now…_

_Shit. I want this too._

_And I can’t. Not without telling her the truth._

_… fuck, she’s really going to hate me._

Victoria moved behind her, the hand around her stomach tightening. Max grunted. “Ow.”

“Hm?”

“That hurts.”

“Shit.” Victoria immediately loosened her grip. “Sorry. I forgot.”

“It’s okay.”

“How’d you sleep?”

“Pretty good.” Max interlaced her fingers with Victoria’s, squeezing her hand. “… can we talk?”

Victoria sighed, and Max felt her breath on the back of her neck. “Yea.”

She rolled over, looking at Victoria from across the pillow. The blonde had a nervous look on her face, as Max exhaled slowly. “I… I have to tell you something.”

“Okay.”

“And I probably should’ve told you before,” Max added. “But… I didn’t want to… I don’t know. I was worried that you’d accuse me of having ulterior motives. Or being selfish. And I wasn’t-”

Before she realized what was happening, Victoria pressed a finger to her lips. The sudden feeling made Max stop, and Victoria took a slow breath. “I know about the money my father promised you.”

Max blinked in astonishment. “You… do?”

“Fifty thousand for a full year of sobriety, right?”

“How’d you…” Max’s voice trailed off. “Steph?”

Victoria gave her a half-smirk. “Maybe.”

“Shit.” Max deflated into her pillow. “… Victoria, I am so sorry.”

The blonde frowned. “You’re sorry? Why?”

“Are you not mad? Or hurt?”

Victoria sighed. “Honestly… a little, at first.”

* * *

**Mar 26th, 2020**

“… fifty thousand dollars.”

Steph nodded. “When you hit your one-year mark.”

“Wow.” Victoria slumped in her seat. “… that explains a lot.”

“Like what?”

“Why Max won’t give me a straight answer.” Victoria looked back out the window. “I thought I was more than a paycheck, at this point, but I guess not.”

“You are NOT just a paycheck,” Steph said forcefully. “Come on, that wasn’t-”

“I opened up to her. I told her how I felt. I thought she might’ve felt the same way, and I’ve been wondering for weeks why she kept shutting me down.” Victoria shook her head. “Guess it’s because she’s trying to get some bonus."

“Of course she is!”

Victoria looked back at a frustrated Steph. “Come on, Steph, I know what my dad is paying her.”

“It’s fifty THOUSAND dollars!” Steph exclaimed. “It might not be a lot to your family, but to people like Max and I? That’s a life-changing amount of money!”

“But her student loans are almost paid off.”

“You think that’s all Max wants?” Steph asked incredulously. “What about graduate school? a car made in THIS decade? Maybe a down payment on a house someday? Max made decent money back at your rehab center, but like most college graduates, she was still bogged down with debt!”

Victoria tilted her head. “So, what? She values money more than me?”

“She wants BOTH, you fuckin’ moron!”

That, finally, made Victoria pause.

“Do you have any idea how conflicted she is?” Steph continued. “Max has feelings for you too, Victoria. It’s not a one-way street.”

“If that’s true, then why hasn’t she-”

“Because she doesn’t want to void the terms of the contract she signed with your dad!”

Victoria blinked. “… it’s on her contract not to have feelings for me?”

“No, that’s not…” Steph sighed as she pinched the bridge of her nose. “Something along the lines of falling short and professional responsibilities, I think. She doesn’t want your dad to hold that against her.”

“Shit.” Victoria bit her lip. “He… does do that a lot.”

“He does?”

“He’s mentioned it a few times, putting vague phrases in contracts. Gives him an option to get out of one, if necessary. The lawyers probably do it as a matter of course, by this point.” Victoria paused. “But she doesn’t exactly have to broadcast it.”

“And what if she screws up?” Steph crossed her arms. “Or, the far more likely scenario, what if YOU do?”

Victoria widened her eyes. “You think I’M going to-”

“Who of you two is, historically, more prone to fuckups?”

She didn’t have an answer for that.

“That’s what I thought.” Steph tilted her head. “Do you care about Max?”

Victoria nodded.

“Then don’t make her choose.”

“Between what? Me and a payday?”

“Yes. Because trust me, Max cares about you. But that’s the kind of money she might not get more than once in a lifetime.” Steph leaned back in her seat. “If you can display a measure of patience, then there’s no reason she can’t have both.”

The pieces fell together in Victoria’s mind, as she figured out what Steph was saying. “You… think I should wait until she isn’t my Sober Companion anymore.”

“Exactly.”

“What if that’s too long?”

“It’s not.” Steph shook her head. “I promise it’s not.”

* * *

“Well, I’m never telling Steph anything in confidence again.”

Victoria smirked. “You know, between her and Taylor, you’ve got a bad habit of telling people secrets you shouldn’t.”

“So it would appear.” Max sighed. “… I’m sorry, Victoria. I should’ve told you before. You ought to have heard it from me, not Steph.”

“Maybe.” Victoria shrugged. “But Steph does a pretty good job of telling me when I’m being an idiot.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” Max paused. “So… you’ve been keeping your distance since she told you?”

Victoria nodded.

“To make sure I don’t do anything that would sabotage the bonus?”

She nodded again.

“… I don’t know what to say.”

“Well, then…” Victoria bit her lip. “Can I be really vulnerable right now?”

“More than you were last night?” Max asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yea.” Victoria scooted closer, finding Max’s hand under the covers and clasping it. “I’ve been… content, I guess. Keeping my distance, so that I don’t screw this up like I’ve done everything else in my life.” She hesitated. “I mean, I didn’t really WANT to, but Steph convinced what kind of a difference that money could make for you. And I didn’t want to be the one who took that away.”

Max squeezed her hand silently.

“But that was before I thought you were gonna die, Max.” Victoria took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. “I seriously thought I was gonna lose you for good. And I was falling apart inside. I’m really not sure I would’ve been able to go on if you hadn’t come out of that OR.”

“Yes, you would’ve,” Max told her softly. “I know you could’ve done it.”

“Well, you’ve got a lot more faith in me than I do.” Victoria paused. “Anyway, like I said, I’ve been content. But… I don’t want to be content anymore.”

“What do you want?”

“I want you,” Victoria said immediately. “And I don’t want to just wait around for you, because quite frankly, I’m tired of it.”

Max swallowed, licking her lips before she replied. “… me too.”

“You are?”

“I don’t like pretending that I want to keep things professional,” she admitted quietly. “It’s been killing me inside, for a while now. But…”

Max hesitated. “But… what?” Victoria prompted.

“I had more. But I realized that it makes me sound like I care about money more than you.” She averted her gaze. “You have no idea how painfully conflicting this has been for me, Victoria.”

“You’re right.” Victoria gave Max’s hand a quick squeeze. “I’m sorry that you’re in this position.”

“Thank you.”

Victoria inhaled slowly. “Are you mad me right now?”

“What?” Max furrowed her brow as she looked back at the blonde. “No, of course not. Why would I be?”

“For forcing the issue.”

Max shook her head. “You’re only saying what we’ve both been feeling,” she reassured her. “I’ve been hating this as much as you.”

A look of relief came over Victoria’s face. “… I’m still sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

“Well, then.” Victoria scooted closer. “We both want you to earn that bonus. But neither of us wants to wait for this anymore.”

Max hummed in agreement. “What are you thinking?”

“My dad only has reason to not give it to you if he suspects something is up. So when we’re not in the condo, everything is normal. You’re the Sober Companion who busts my chops, keeps me sane, and helps me get my life together.”

“And… when we’re in the condo?”

Victoria smiled. “When we’re in the condo, I can spend time with my girlfriend.”

Max raised both her eyebrows. “We’re going straight for girlfriend?”

“Yes, we are. Would you like to know why?”

“I’d love to.”

“For one, we’ve been doing this Ross-and-Rachel crap for a while now.” Victoria watched Max smirk, as she continued. “Two, we’re talking about pulling the wool over the eyes of a lot of people, which is definitely a ‘girlfriend’ level of relationship activity. I mean, I’m not lying to my parents just for some girl I have a crush on.”

“And… three?”

“Because no matter what happens, I really, really want this to work.”

Max pursed her lips as she pondered that, while Victoria looked at her with an expression that was a mixture of anticipation and hopefulness.

After a few seconds, Max pushed herself closer, laying a hand on the side of the blonde’s neck. Victoria was smiling as Max pulled her closer, planting a kiss on her lips.

“Me too,” she agreed as they separated.

“I take it this means you’re on board?” Victoria asked.

“Extremely.”

The blonde smiled widely as she wrapped her arm around Max, kissing her again. The brunette kissed back, her hand slowly moving down Victoria’s neck and shoulder to rest on her ribcage.

Max made a happy noise as they finally separated. “It’s nice to do that, without feeling completely guilty.”

Victoria arched an eyebrow. “Completely?”

“I mean… I’m technically defrauding your dad of his hard-earned money right now.”

“Trust me, he can spare it,” Victoria said dryly. “Besides, he was self-admittedly not a great parent. I think that ought to cost him fifty grand or so.”

Max snorted. “Nice.”

“Hey, you know what? I don’t really want to talk about my dad right now.” Victoria pulled Max tighter. “I just-”

“Ow!”

She immediately let go as Max winced, her hand going to her side. “Shit,” she breathed. “I forgot again.”

“I know. Twice in less than half an hour.” Max found it in her to smirk as she continued to clutch at the wound. “You’re not off to a great start at this whole ‘girlfriend’ thing.”

“I guess not.” Victoria brought her hand up to Max’s cheek. “Tell me how I can do better? Please?”

“Mm.” Max thought for a second. “Breakfast would be nice. I’m hungry.”

“I can do that. One bowl of tomato soup and a cup of apple juice, coming right up.”

“Urgh.” She grimaced. “I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.”


	49. Anniversary (Pt 1)

**June 1st, 2020**

**Days Sober: 365 **

_Last day._

_One full year._

Max hummed as she tightened the towel around herself, having just left the shower. She wiped the fog from the mirror, getting a good look at her reflection.

_I actually pulled it off,_ she realized, as she leaned on the counter._ A year ago today, she was overdosing ten feet from here. And I helped her get better. A full year of sobriety, with what was probably my most difficult patient ever._

_Probably shouldn’t tell her that._

_Ah, who am I kidding._ Max shook her head. _She’d probably agree with me._

The bathroom door opened. She kept her focus on the mirror as she felt someone walk up behind her, a pair of thin arms wrapping themselves around her shoulders.

“I thought you were gonna wait for me,” Victoria whispered in her ear.

Max smirked, reaching up and taking one of Victoria’s hands. “You took too long. You were supposed to be back from the restaurant half an hour ago.”

“One of the waitresses had a flat tire. They needed me to cover until she came in.”

“Then it sounds like she owes you.”

“Mm.” Victoria’s hand dipped lower, playing with the edge of Max’s towel. “I don’t know if you’re clean enough.”

“You don’t think so?”

“Nope. I think you need another shower.” She kissed the brunette’s collarbone. “I’ll help this time. Make sure you’re extra-clean.”

“That does sound VERY tempting,” Max agreed, leaning back into her girlfriend. “But we’re supposed to be there in forty-five minutes. And if I get back in there with you, we’re gonna be late.”

“Then let’s be a little late.”

“I think we’d be more than a little, Victoria.”

The blonde sighed dramatically. “Fine,” she muttered dejectedly. “Next time I’m on shift with Amy, I’m tripping her.”

“Be nice.”

“I’m always nice.”

“Then be nicer.”

“Whatever.” Victoria finally released Max as she stepped back. “Are we dressing casual to this thing, or are we supposed to clean ourselves up?”

“Casual.” Max retrieved a second towel and started drying her hair. “But nice-casual. No ripped jeans or graphic tees.”

“You know I don’t actually own either of those.”

“Yea, I suspect those instructions were more for me than…” Max turned as Victoria finished unbuttoning her shirt, casually removing it before tossing it towards the hamper. “… you.”

“Probably.” Victoria ignored her as she undid her belt, wiggling her jeans down her legs before tossing those towards the hamper as well. “And we’ll be there all night?”

“Most of it, I think.”

Victoria was reaching around her back for the bra hooks, when she noticed Max staring. A grin spread over her face. “Am I distracting you?”

“No,” Max said immediately.

“You sure?”

“Yes.” Max turned and resumed drying her hair, the towel falling into her eyes. She tried to ignore the sound of more clothes hitting the hamper. The shower started back up a few seconds later. “So, um… any idea what you’re gonna wear?”

“I have some ideas. Why?”

“I, um, just want to make sure that we’re at about the same level of, you know… fashion, I guess.”

“Ah. Well, I figured my khakis and that blue blouse would look nice.”

“Mm. That sounds good.”

Max finally heard the shower door open and close. She breathed a sigh of relief as she pulled the towel off her head, looking back in the mirror.

She froze.

“You’re not in the shower.”

“I guess not.”

Max turned to face Victoria as blonde took her arms, pulling her closer. “I just realized that I have nobody to help get my back,” she said in a low voice, her hands sliding down Max’s sides. “I think I need your help.”

The brunette swallowed as Victoria leaned in, kissing her softly. Her cheeks reddened as the blonde pulled back. “We’re supposed to be there in forty-five minutes,” she repeated.

“I don’t care.”

“And what are we gonna tell people when they ask why we’re late?”

“I already gave you an excuse.” Victoria wrapped a finger around the edge of the towel and tugged, slowly loosening it. “I got held up at the restaurant, remember?”

Max shuddered as the towel fell, puddling around her feet. “Yea,” she breathed. “That’s right. You were.”

“Mm hm.” Victoria smiled connivingly. “You gonna help me get clean or not?”

* * *

_Damn, I want to kiss her right now._

Victoria was amused as she watched Max look at her watch while they rode the elevator car. “We’re not that late. Calm down.”

“We were supposed to be here twenty minutes ago.”

“That’s not our fault.” Victoria shrugged. “I got held up at the restaurant, remember?”

Max shot her a look. “It was a little your fault.”

She inhaled slowly. “Well, the other girl went and got a flat tire,” she reminded her. “So… you could say that ultimately, there were two people to blame.”

The brunette narrowed her eyes. “… we can debate this further later.”

Victoria snickered as the car dinged and the doors opened into the penthouse. As soon as they walked inside, she found herself wrapped in a bone-crushing hug.

She smirked as she returned it. “Hi, Mom.”

“Oh, sweetie.” Mary buried her face in her daughter’s shoulder, squeezing tighter. “I am so proud of you.”

“Thanks.”

“I mean it.” Mary let go, keeping both hands on Victoria’s shoulders as she made eye contact. “I never in a million years dared to hope that we’d be here. I can’t tell you how much this means to your father and I.”

Victoria squirmed, uncomfortable with the praise. “Yea. I… well, I wouldn’t have been able to do it without Max.”

“We haven’t forgotten about her.” Mary looked at her Sober Companion. “My husband and I know you made this possible, Max. I don’t think we can ever thank you enough for everything you’ve done.”

Max smiled. “Victoria did all the hard work,” she assured Mary. “I was just there to help.”

“And you did an incredible job.” Mary finally let go of Victoria. “Oh, by the way, a couple of your friends are already here.”

“Figured.” Victoria shrugged. “I, uh, got held up at the restaurant for a while. Sorry we’re late.”

“That’s ok. Your father’s running a little behind, too. He should be here soon.” Mary gestured down the hall. “Come on. I think your sponsor has already eaten most of the hors d’oeuvres.”

“Of course she has.”

They followed Mary into the main room, where Steph stood at the window, gawking at the view. Kate stood beside her, holding Alice as she pointed. “That’s the Space Needle,” she cooed gently. “Yes it is. And that’s the stadium where your daddy’s favorite baseball team plays.”

“T-Mobile Park,” Steph mentioned absently, one hand on the glass. She clutched a plate of food with her other. “Home of the Mariners.”

“I know what’s called, trust me.”

“What about that?” Steph pointed in another direction. “Is that Columbia Center?”

Kate frowned. “I don’t think so. It’s hard to see, though.”

Victoria quietly stepped up behind them, peeking over Steph’s shoulder. “It’s one of the Amazon towers.”

The two of them spun to see her. “Hey!” Kate squealed, wrapping an arm around her in a hug. “You made it!”

“It’s my party,” Victoria pointed out, amused. “Be kind of an asshole of I didn’t.”

Max elbowed her. “Language.”

“Oh. Right.” Victoria looked at Alice, the infant looking around at all the noise. “Wow, she’s getting big.”

“I know, right?” Steph plucked another morsel of food from her plate, popping in into her mouth. “I think Kate’s giving her human growth hormones or something.”

“I am not!”

“Then why is she growing like a Gremlin that’s been dropped in a pool?”

Max rolled her eyes. “Gremlins didn’t grow in water, Steph. They just spawned more gremlins.”

Steph blinked, confused. “Then am I thinking of?”

“A sponge.” Victoria looked past them, at the table where several trays of appetizers were laid out. “Or your appetite. Jesus, Steph, how much did you eat?”

“I was hungry.” Steph shrugged as she ate another snack. “And I’ll probably never get to eat rich-people food again, while standing on the twenty-fifth floor of something, so I’m taking advantage of the situation.”

“I don’t think cucumber sandwiches qualify as rich-people food.”

“The last party I was at did pigs-in-a-blanket. I’ll take what I can get.”

* * *

“So, can we see your office from here?”

Taylor peeked closely, almost pressing her nose against the glass. “Maybe, if you used a telescope,” she answered after a few seconds. “My department faces the Sound. Besides, I have a cubicle.”

Max hummed. “No corner office for you?”

“Not yet. Maybe someday.”

“Pfft. You’re lucky.” Beside her, Courtney sipped at her drink. “My job is in an office park. The buildings don’t go higher than the fifth floor, and we’re on the second.”

Taylor frowned. “Don’t you have your own office?”

“Again, Tay, second floor.”

“Yea, but isn’t that a little messed up?” Max looked at her. “I mean, who decided that distance from the ground was an acceptable measure of personal success? What if there’s a fire halfway up the building, and you’re stuck?”

“Okay, first of all, I don’t think modern skyscrapers catch fire anymore,” Courtney countered. “And second, it’s about the view, Max. I mean, look at this.” She waved her arm at the window. “Are you gonna stand there and tell me you wouldn’t kill for an office with this kind of view?”

Max glanced back outside. “… maybe not kill, per se.”

“Fine. Grievously wound?”

“Depends on how grievously.”

Laughter caught their attention, and the three of them turned to see an interesting sight. Steph was holding Alice, but the infant had two fistfuls of her beanie. The brunette was unsuccessfully trying to dislodge it with one hand while holding the infant with the other.

“Is somebody going to help me?” Steph finally asked.

“Why?” Victoria asked shrewdly. “Watching is much funnier.”

Her and Mary started laughing again as Kate finally stepped in, still giggling as she took Steph’s hat away from Alice. “I still can’t believe she’s the same girl we were at Blackwell with,” Courtney commented quietly.

Max frowned. “Victoria?”

“Yea.” Courtney shook her head. “After UCLA, I swore I’d go out of my way to never see her again. And now… I mean, hell, she’s someone I actually want to be friends with. I don’t know what you did, Max, but you should probably write it down somewhere.”

“All I did was help her get clean.”

“No, Max, she’s right,” Taylor agreed. “Vic wasn’t even like this before she started doing coke. I mean, she was a pretty good friend, but she still had an incredible superiority complex. Not to mention a slight sense of entitlement.”

Courtney scoffed. “Slight? Really?”

“Okay, she had a pretty big one.”

“Pretty big?”

“Fine, it was massive. Point is, Max, you worked some kind of fuckin’ miracle,” Taylor said. “I am seriously considering writing the Pope, so he can put you up for sainthood.”

“Oh, come on,” Max rolled her eyes. “Seriously, guys, I just helped her see what her behavior was actually costing her. I mean, hell, you should’ve seen some of what she had to deal with on her own. She did most of the hard work."

“You were the latest in a long line of people who failed to help,” Taylor reminded her. “So I disagree.”

“As do I.”

The three of them jumped as Derek appeared beside them. “God,” Max breathed, a hand on her chest. “Derek, have you considered carrying a bell?”

“Not really.” He shrugged. “Sneaking up on people makes me feel like Batman.”

The three of them snorted in amusement.

“Anyway. Max, I know my daughter put in a lot of effort to get here today,” Derek assured her. “But I also think that hiring you might’ve been the best decision I’ve ever made. You somehow did what almost a dozen other professionals couldn’t, and believe me, we hired good ones.”

Max’s face flushed a little at the praise.

“And I can’t tell you two how wonderful it is to see you two here,” he continued, looking between Taylor and Courtney. “Victoria reconnecting with old friends… well, I never thought I’d see the day.”

Taylor and Courtney exchanged glances. “It is really nice to see her sober,” Courtney agreed. “I like her this way much better.”

“Given what you said to the lawyers when they tried to see you at UCLA, I’m just happy to see you talking to her at all.”

Courtney squirmed uncomfortably. “Right. Um… sorry about that.”

“Water under the bridge.” Derek waved his hand dismissively. “Anyway, Max, if you could find me after the thing, I’d appreciate it. We have some business to discuss.”

Max nodded as he walked away, greeting and hugging his daughter. “What was that about?” Taylor asked curiously.

“Nothing.”

“Didn’t sound like nothing,” Courtney countered. “Sounded important.”

“Mm.” Max glanced back at the food. “Okay, I’m gonna try some of this before Steph eats it all.”

* * *

“Hey, they’re all open this time.”

She’d meant it as a light joke, but the look on her mother’s face told her that the observation hit hard. “Sweetie, you have no idea how sorry we-”

“I know, Mom.” Victoria sighed. “I was trying to be funny.”

“Oh.” Mary looked back down the hallway, at the open doors. “Still. Your father and I feel terrible about how you took that.”

Victoria frowned. “How did you guys know about that?”

“Max was very blunt, when she told us off during that first dinner.”

“She… during dinner?”

“When you went to use the bathroom,” Mary explained. “Your sober companion was very… frank.”

“Ah.” Victoria glanced behind her, as they walked. “Yea. She’s pretty direct about her opinions.”

“Indeed. Though I suppose we can hardly say that it was undeserved.” She sighed, as she led the way into an office. “Your father plans on speaking with Max about other things later, but I asked if I could be the one to do this.”

“Do what?”

Mary went into the desk, retrieving a small black box. She paused after closing the drawer. “Your father and I… honestly Victoria, even after Max told us how well you were doing at rehab, we didn’t dare hope to believe you would turn yourself around as much as you have. The amount of progress you’ve made is more than incredible.”

Victoria chewed on her lip. “… you really think so?”

“I’m sure plenty of people have told you, sweetie, but we barely recognize you. Not as the girl you were before.”

“Well…” Victoria hesitated. “That girl was kind of a bitch.”

“I would never call you that.” Mary paused. “But I won’t disagree.”

“Yea.” She scratched the back of her neck. “I’m sorry, Mom. For all the crap I put you and Dad through.”

“We more than accept, Victoria. And…” Mary shrugged. “We’re sorry, too.”

“For what?”

“Not being better.”

Victoria smirked. “You know, if I accept that after everything I’ve done, I’ll sound like a real brat.”

“Mm.” Mary pursed her lips. “Debatable. Anyway, your father and I… well, we’re still scared, Victoria. Even after all the hard work you’ve put in.”

“… me too,” Victoria admitted quietly. “Max says I’m doing better. And I really, really don’t want to go back. But sometimes, I just…” She looked at the floor. “… I don’t know what to say to make you not worry about me.”

“You don’t have to say anything. Your father and I are your parents, sweetie. We’re going to be scared for you forever; that’s just our job.” She looked at the box in her hands. “But we agreed that your effort has been amazing. And we wanted to show you that even though we’re scared for you, we do believe in you.”

Victoria accepted the box, as Mary handed it to her, and opened the lid.

A black American Express card greeted her, nestled in a wooden cutout, her name laser-etched on the bottom.

“… shit,” she breathed. “I… never thought I’d see one of these again.”

“Your father ordered it a couple of weeks ago. We thought that after a year… well, you’d deserve it.”

Victoria barely heard her as she ran her fingers over the card, which she knew was made of titanium, had no spending limit, and could get her literally anything she wanted.

_I could stop working as a waitress._

_I could have a car again._

_Not worry about tuition._

_Actually travel, if I wanted._

_Front-row seats and backstage passes to any concert in the world._

_Lunch with Taylor at Horaldo’s._

_My old wardrobe. The Louis Vuitton, my Jimmy Choos, the Gucci belts, those Vera Wangs, Lululemon, Prada, Coach, Kate Spade, Versace, Ralph Lauren, Channel…_

_…_

_… just like before._

She took a slow, deep breath. “Mom, I… this means the world to me,” she started quietly. “It really does. I honestly never thought you and Dad would trust me like this, ever again.”

“Sweetie-”

“This is… really… God, I don’t even know.” Victoria looked back at her mother. “And… crap,” she muttered. “I can’t believe that I’m about to do this.”

She slowly closed the box lid and held it back out.

Mary blinked. “You don’t want it?”

“Of course I do. It’s all I’ve wanted for months.” Victoria looked at the box in her hand. “But I don’t like the person I was, back when I had this. And I don’t want to go back to being her. So… please take it back.”

“Sweetie, are you s-”

“Mom, for the love of God, please take it before I change my mind.”

Mary took the box back, though she didn’t put it down. “Victoria, your father and I trust you. We both agreed that you could have this back.”

“I believe you.” Victoria averted her gaze. “But I don’t know how much I trust myself. Not yet, anyway. So please keep it.”

Her mother looked down at the box in her hands, finally putting it back on the table. Then she took a couple of steps forward and wrapped Victoria in a tight hug.

“We love you, sweetie,” she whispered in her ear. “Your father and I love you so much. And we are so proud of you.”

Victoria sniffled, as she returned the hug. “I love you too, Mom,” she muttered.

They were silent for a few minutes.

“You know, if you guys still wanted to give me a gift or something…”

Victoria felt her mother smirk. “Like what?”

“Well, the laptop you gave me kinda sucks. It’s a year old, and it’s already crawling. My job barely pays for tuition, so…”

Mary had an amused expression on her face, as she let go of Victoria. “You certainly can’t be doing schoolwork on a bad computer,” she allowed. “We can definitely fix that.”

“Thank you.”


	50. Anniversary (Pt 2)

The chef served dinner shortly afterward, a meal over several courses at the main table. Conversation was light, and full of mirth.

Everyone laughed at Alice eating with her hands, and the girl’s face when Kate gave her a lemon for the first time; the baby’s expression drove several people to tears. Max and Victoria poked fun at Steph eating her ‘rich-people-food’ faster than the chef could put it down. At the other end of the table, Derek and Taylor wound up deep in conversation about her work. Courtney and Mary started their own conversation about fashion, including a passionate argument about shoes.

They were wrapping up desert, when Derek finally looked at his watch and cleared his throat. “Max, is it about time yet?”

Max checked her phone. “Close enough, I suppose.”

He stood. “Then shall we?”

Everyone got up to follow him as they walked back into the main room. Victoria made to join the others as they took their seats on couches, but Max grabbed her arm. “No, no,” she corrected, dragging her in front of everyone. “This part’s for you.”

“Oh, God,” Victoria muttered. “I don’t want to.”

“Too bad. Just stand her for a second.”

She obeyed, squirming as everyone looked at her while Max cleared her throat. “So, first of all, you obviously know what today is, right?”

“Not likely to forget.”

Max elbowed her. “Come on. How many days have you been sober?”

Victoria sighed. “It was three-hundred and sixty-five, this morning.”

“Almost a year now.”

Courtney frowned. “Wait, isn’t that-”

“It’s a leap year,” Max said absently. “Point is, tonight is special. And I don’t think many people really grasp how difficult it is.” She glanced around the room. “Two-thirds of addicts go back to drugs within a couple months of beginning treatment. And the number actually goes up as time goes on. Studies show that once they start treatment, only fifteen percent of addicts make it a full year without a relapse.”

Taylor blinked from her seat. “Really?”

“Yes. The sheer strength and will it takes for an addict to stay sober is beyond what most people can fathom.” Max smiled at Victoria. “Charlie isn’t patronizing you when he calls you inspirational, Victoria. Not a lot of people can do what you’ve done.”

She dug into her pocket and produced a chip. “Which is what makes receiving this such an impressive accomplishment.”

Victoria took the chip as Max dropped it into her hand. Unlike her other tokens, it wasn’t plastic; it was made of metal, colored in bronze. A large number one was stamped prominently on the front, just over the phrase ‘ONE DAY AT A TIME’.

She could hear people clapping, though her focus was on the chip as she ran her thumb over it. Victoria swallowed hard, trying not to show any emotion as she looked up at Max. “I thought I was supposed to get this from Charlie,” she said quietly.

“I stole it from him.” Max smirked. “I’m sure he’ll make you do a speech at the next meeting as punishment.”

“Wonderful.”

Max gestured at the others, as they stopped applauding. “Anything you want to say?”

“I, uh…” Victoria looked up, taking in the others. “I’m sorry it took so long for me to realize what an asshole I was.”

Everyone chuckled lightly.

“There was a, uh, thing back at the rehab place.” Victoria glanced at Max. “One of those dumb pamphlets you guys had everywhere, taking about staying sober. I read one of them after a couple of weeks.”

Max raised her eyebrows. “You did? I never saw you.”

“I made a point to read it while you weren’t around.” Victoria gave her a half smirk, before turning back to the others. “There was a quote in there that I couldn’t get out of my head. It was something along the lines of understanding who I was only after I destroyed myself. And not finding out who I was until I got fixed, or something. I didn’t really get it at the time, but… I do now.”

She licked her lips before continuing. “I’m sorry I was such an idiot,” she said quietly. “I’m sorry I didn’t realize what I was doing until after I screwed everything up. And… I can’t tell you guys how much it means to me, that you all came here tonight. Even after everything I did.”

Nobody seemed to know what to say, as they smiled at her and looked at each other. Finally, Steph cleared her throat and leaned forward. “So… we’re doing this again next year, right?”

Everyone started laughing, including Victoria. “Is it the food you’re after, or the view?” Taylor teased.

Steph grinned. “Yes.”

“There was something else, too,” Max mentioned, as everyone got quiet. “As most of you guys know, Victoria’s been keeping track of her sobriety on a dry-erase board ever since her first NA meeting. She updates the number every night.”

She threw the blonde a smirk. “The problem with that is that she’s got really big handwriting. So now her board is too small.”

Victoria frowned. “What are you talking about?”

“Derek?”

“Right.” Her father stood, reaching behind a couch cushion and pulling out a new dry-erase board, one that Victoria saw was twice as big as her old one. He turned it around as he came up to stand beside Max, and Victoria saw that there was a line across the middle of the board, segmenting it into two rows; one for days, and the other for years.

Max produced a black marker from her back pocket. “It’s close enough to the end of the day,” she told Victoria. “You can update your board now.”

Victoria looked between the marker and the board, feeling her heart skipping several beats. She finally took the marker from Max, uncapping it as she stepped up to the board while her father held it steady for her.

Trying to stop her hands from shaking, she wrote the new number down.

**Years Sober: 1**

Her vision turned watery as soon as she took the marker away, and everyone started clapping again. She wiped her eyes quickly as her father wrapped an arm around her in a hug.

* * *

While everyone gathered around Victoria, hugging and congratulating her, Derek set the new board back down on the couch. Then he caught Max’s eye, motioning with his head towards the upstairs office.

Max followed him, the two of them sneaking away from the others. Nobody noticed as they left.

She closed the office door behind her as they stepped inside. “I’ll be honest, Max, I was never really sure we’d be here,” Derek admitted. “My wife and I hoped that we would, but after everything that’s happened, it seemed like a pipe dream.”

“I can imagine,” Max agreed.

“I hope you don’t take that to mean we didn’t have any faith in you.”

“I know what you meant.” Max smirked. “Trusting another Sober Companion must’ve been difficult, especially after the first one failed.”

“As well as two therapists, a psychiatrist, three different tutors, and more lawyers than I care to think about.” Derek leaned against his desk. “All of them very highly regarded, with exceptional pedigree and reputation. And you, two years out of college with nothing but a Bachelor’s degree, showed them all up like it was nothing."

Max’s face flushed a little. “I did graduate Cum Laude,” she offered.

“I know.” Derek shook his head. “My only regret, Max, is that you got hurt in the process.”

Her hand automatically went for her stomach, feeling the scar beneath her shirt. “Mine too,” she admitted quietly.

“You’re feeling better?”

“It doesn’t really hurt anymore. Mostly just itches.”

“I’m glad to hear it. And I’m sorry that it happened.”

Max shrugged. “It wasn’t your fault. Or Victoria’s.”

“Nevertheless.” Derek reached behind him, opening a folder and retrieving a plain envelope. “I imagine you know what this is.”

Max’s eyes zeroed on the envelope. “Is that…”

“Quite possibly the first check I’ve ever been happy to write, when my daughter was responsible for it.” He extended the envelope towards her. “In an incredible understatement, you more than earned it.”

Her fingers dug into the flap, breaking the adhesive and revealing a cashier’s check. Made out to her, for a total of fifty thousand dollars.

“… wow,” she breathed quietly.

Derek seemed amused. “Largest check you’ve ever gotten, I take it?”

“By a long shot.” Max couldn’t take her eyes off of it. “Way bigger than the ones my grandma used to write me for my birthday.”

“As I said, you earned it.”

She couldn’t stop looking at it. And what the slip of paper meant for her.

_Graduate school without loans. _

_And a new car. _

_Or an actual savings account. _

_Hell, I could actually invest in… whatever people invest in._

And yet the feeling of guilt was gnawing at the back of her mind.

Again.

The same feeling she used to get before. Those first few times, when she’d woken up in Victoria’s arms. Or when she’d kissed Victoria, after the trial. Or when Victoria had kissed her.

The feeling that they were doing something they shouldn’t have been.

And now she was standing in the office of the man she’d signed the contract with, holding a check written from his hard-earned money, and he had no idea what Max had done.

She hadn’t told Victoria, but despite the blonde’s reassurances, she’d been wrestling with the guilt for weeks. And now, with the largest check she’d ever seen in her hand, she felt herself getting torn apart in her mind.

_…_

_…_

_… shit._

She took a slow breath as she tucked the check away. “Are you going be moving back to Oregon?” Derek asked casually. “Going back to the rehab center?”

“I…” Max’s voice trailed off. “I don’t think so, no.”

“Then in that case-”

“I’m in love with Victoria.”

The sentence tumbled from her mouth quickly. So quickly that she was surprised that she spoke coherently, given how hard her heart was pounding; she felt like she was about to have her own heart attack.

Her statement seemed to shock Derek into silence, as both of his eyebrows went to the top of his head.

“We, uh…” Max swallowed nervously. “I’m sorry.”

“You…” Derek blinked. “And… Victoria?”

Max dropped her gaze. “I’m sorry,” she repeated. “I… we tried, to- I mean, it was…” she paused, taking a deep breath. “It just… happened.”

Derek leaned back, bracing his hands on the desk behind him. “… oh.”

“And, I, uh…” Max licked her lips. “I… I shouldn’t have. I know. And… I’m sorry.”

Derek didn’t reply. After a few seconds, he turned his gaze to the wall. His expression made it impossible to tell what he was thinking.

“And I know what the contract said. So… I don’t think I can take this,” Max finally said, in a voice barely above a whisper. She took a couple of steps forward, laying the envelope down on the desk beside him.

He didn’t say a word.

She wasn’t sure what else to do, so Max turned around. Her feet felt like they were made out of lead as she walked away from him and a life-changing check, reaching for the doorknob to let herself out.

“I still don’t think I’m a very good parent.”

She looked over her shoulder. “… I’m sorry?”

Derek rubbed his nose as he turned to face Max. “This thing, between you and my daughter. You said you loved her?”

Max slowly nodded.

“And… Victoria… feels the same way?”

“I…” she hesitated, feeling the heat rise in her face. “I haven’t… actually said it to her yet.”

“When did it start?”

Max scratched the back of her neck, not quite sure how to answer. “About six weeks,” she finally replied. “Since we really got serious.”

“After you were stabbed.”

He said it like a statement, not a question, but Max nodded anyway.

“Trying to protect my daughter from a drug dealer who had his hands around her throat.” Derek sighed. “I’ve tried really hard not to think about what could’ve happened, if you weren’t there.”

“Derek, I-”

“Do you think I’ve gotten any better, as a father?”

Max quickly nodded.

“You’re not just placating me?”

“Victoria’s not the only one who’s changed in the past year,” Max replied. “I don’t know how much it’s worth hearing from me, but… I think you guys have really come a long way, as a family.”

Derek shook his head. “It doesn’t feel like it,” he confessed. “Some days I can’t help but wonder how much better everything would be if I had done things differently.”

“We can’t change the past, Derek.”

“You’re right. We can’t.” He met her gaze. “But I can keep trying to do better, right?”

“Of course.”

He looked back at the desk, picking up a small box. Max watched him open it and remove a black card. “Have you ever seen one of these before?”

“No,” she admitted, as he held out the black card for her to see. “What is it?”

“An American Express Centurion Card. Very exclusive, and available by invitation only. You have to spend at least a quarter of a million dollars a year to even qualify.” Derek took it back, looking at it. “My wife and I each have one for ourselves. This one was supposed to be Victoria’s.”

Max frowned. “Supposed to be?”

“We took away her old one after UCLA, when things started getting bad. I had AMEX make her a new one a couple of weeks ago. Mary tried to give it to her earlier.”

“I… she tried?”

“We thought it would be a good gesture, for hitting her one-year mark. A way of showing that we were proud of her progress.” Derek looked back up at her. “But Victoria turned it down.”

“She did? Why?”

“She told Mary that she didn’t want to be the girl she used to be anymore. And asked us to keep it.” Derek gave her a half-smirk. “My daughter, who once spent a thousand dollars on a new purse because her old one had a loose seam, turned down a card that would’ve restored her access to our money. Because she no longer wants it.”

Max blinked. “I… don’t even know what to say.”

“Then you can imagine our surprise.” He finally put the card back on the desk. “So I guess, Max, that what my daughter really wants is… well, you.”

Derek sighed heavily. “And I’ve committed too much to being a better parent to snub either of you because of some damn contract language.”

Max watched him stand and retrieve the envelope, then make his way towards her. He pressed it into her hand. “Sobriety aside, you went head-to-head against a drug dealer for my daughter. You earned every penny of this, for what you did. And I insist that you keep it.”

“But-”

“I won’t hear of anything otherwise,” Derek told her. “As far as you and Victoria… well.” He smirked. “Given her history, I suppose my daughter could have picked someone a hell of a lot worse. And I’ll consider myself lucky that she decided to pick someone who’s actually good for her.”

Max looked between him and the envelope in her hands. “You… are you sure?”

“Very.”

“You’re not mad?”

“Why would I be?”

Max bit her lip. “… you trusted me to keep things professional, and I didn’t.”

“That is true,” he acknowledged. “But at the end of the day, I can hardly be upset about how things turned out. Not with my daughter being sober for a full year, doing well in school, and not taking an easy way out of life’s responsibilities. As far as I’m concerned, you did exactly what we asked of you.” Derek smiled. “Victoria coming out on the other end with someone who actually cares about her… well, let’s just call it my bonus.”

“Oh.” Max practically sagged in relief. “I, uh… thank you, Derek.”

“You’re welcome.” He spread his arms. “Can we hug it out?”

Max snorted. “Yes, please.”

He squeezed her tightly, for a few seconds, while Max returned the hug. Her hand clutched the envelope tightly as they separated, before folding it in half and stuffing it in her back pocket.

“Come on,” Derek urged her. “Let’s get back out there and… oh. Wait.”

Max frowned as he dug into his pocket. “For what?”

“You interrupted, when I was asking if you were going back to Oregon or not. I had something else for you.” He produced a business card. “Here.”

“What’s that?”

“Well, Max, I don’t think you’ll be surprised to learn that we’re not the only upper-class family in town that has a child struggling with addiction.” Derek offered her the card. “This is the number for Leslie Porter, a colleague I’ve done business with in the past. She owns one of Seattle’s largest advertising firms, and her nineteen-year-old son has an unfortunate problem with pills.”

Max took it from him, noting the weight of the card and the deep embossing of the woman’s name and title. “You told her about me?”

“Well, my daughter’s struggle with addiction isn’t as much of a secret as I would like. But neither is her rehabilitation. Leslie asked me a couple of weeks ago, if I had met anyone who might be able to help her son.” He nodded at Max’s hand. “That’s the number to her personal phone. Call and tell her that I gave you her card, and I’m sure she’ll want to discuss some options.”

He paused. “At a competitive rate, of course.”

Max raised her eyebrows. “Really?”

“Bit of business advice, Max; if you’re really good at something, never do it for free.”

* * *

She led the way back downstairs, feeling as if the weight of the world had been lifted from her shoulders. And instead, dropped into her pocket.

Derek was right behind her as they walked back into the living room, though he stopped beside his wife and whispered quietly. Max continued towards Victoria, who was standing by the window as she examined her new sobriety token.

The blonde looked up and brightened, sticking the coin back in her pocket. “There you are,” she said. “You guys have a good talk?”

Max nodded absently. “Yea. We did.”

“How’d it go?”

A million different responses raced through Max’s mind, and she had no idea which one to go with.

_… fuck it._

She grabbed the blonde’s arm and tugged. Victoria’s eyes widened in surprise as she stumbled into the brunette, who proceeded to kiss her without saying a word.

Victoria relaxed into the kiss after a couple of seconds. Though she was still blinking in surprise as they separated. A grin slowly broke over her face. “That good, huh?”

Max nodded, feeling her face get hot.

A thump on the floor drew her attention. They looked over and saw everyone else staring, while the snack that had fallen out of Taylor’s hand rolled on the ground. Courtney stood beside her, frozen, a glass halfway to her mouth. Off to the side, Kate and Steph both sat on the couch, having stopped mid-conversation.

All four girls gaped at them, looks of shock and astonishment on their faces. Even little Alice stared, blinking.

“I, uh…” Victoria cleared her throat, her own face turning red as she glanced at Max. “I think we owe them an explanation.”

Taylor finally moved, turning to throw an incredulous look at Victoria. “… you fucking THINK?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you look at the date. Happy Valentine's Day!


	51. Texting: The Aftermath

**Steph:** By the way, we’re still doing our lunch thing without Victoria.

**Max:** Okay… I didn’t think we weren’t. But why, specifically, without Victoria?

**Steph:** Because I refuse to third-wheel.

**Max:** You’re our friend, Steph!

**Steph:** Yea, and I’m not gonna sit on one side of the table trying to ignore you two making out on the other.

**Max:** I do NOT make out with people in public!

**Steph:** Really? What do you call that thing at the party then?

**Max:** … with few exceptions.

**Max:** And that was hardly ‘making out’.

**Steph:** More like ‘coming out’, right?

**Max:** You know, for someone who knew about us beforehand, you acted pretty surprised about the whole thing.

**Steph:** Well, I didn’t expect you guys to slobber all over each other right in front of everyone!

**Max:** We were not slobbering!!

**Steph:** You wanna explain what you’d call it, then?

**Max:** Depends. You wanna explain how Victoria knew about the bonus before I could tell her?

**Steph:** … that little bitch.

**Max:** Yea, you and I need to have a serious talk about the phrase ‘told in confidence’.

* * *

**Mom:** Are you still coming to dinner tomorrow?

**Max:** I thought we were having dinner on Sunday?

**Mom:** Tomorrow IS Sunday, sweetie.

**Max:** Oh. It is, isn’t it.

**Mom:** Yes, and your father is very excited to cook on his new grill.

**Max:** … he’s grilling?

**Mom:** He is.

**Max:** Do we have a back-up plan, for when he ruins everything?

**Mom:** Pizza Hut can get here in twenty minutes.

**Max:** Good.

**Max:** Um… can I ask a favor, without you making a thing about it?

**Mom: **Of course.

**Max:** Is it okay if I bring my girlfriend with me?

**Mom:** YOUR WHAT

**Max:** Please don’t make this a thing.

**Mom:** YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?!?!

**Max:** You’re making it a thing, and you said you wouldn’t.

**Mom:** Because my daughter just told me she has a girlfriend that she wants us to meet!! I’m so HAPPY!!

**Max:** I knew I should’ve just sprung it on you.

**Mom:** Who is she? What’s her name? How long have you two been seeing each other? Is it serious? What does she do? What does she look like?

**Max:** Oh my God, would you take a breath?

**Mom:** No!! I want to meet my daughter’s girlfriend!

**Max:** … technically, you already have.

**Mom:** WE DID?! WHEN?!

**Max: **Oh, look, something that requires my undivided attention. Talk later!

**Mom:** MAXINE CAULFIELD DON’T YOU DARE

* * *

**Victoria:** So… are we still, like… cool?

**Kate:** ?

**Kate:** Why wouldn’t we be?

**Victoria:** I don’t know. You were just kind of quiet, after the party.

**Kate:** You mean when you and Max started sucking face?

**Victoria:** “Sucking face?” Who is this? Are you holding Kate hostage? She doesn’t use that kind of language.

**Kate:** :)

**Kate:** Yes, Victoria, we’re still cool.

**Victoria:** Whew.

**Kate:** I didn’t mean to make you feel like we weren’t. I was just… really, really surprised.

**Victoria:** At me and Max?

**Kate:** I mean, that too. And that you were gay.

**Victoria:** You didn’t know that?

**Kate:** When, in all of our conversations, has it ever come up?

**Victoria:** … huh.

**Kate:** Exactly.

**Victoria:** I’m sorry. I know I don’t really go around broadcasting it, but I’ve never tried to hide it, either. I just assumed that everyone knew.

**Kate:** I had no idea. So it was a little bit of a shock.

**Victoria:** … are you mad at me?

**Kate:** What? No, of course not. I just said we were fine, remember?

**Victoria:** Right. Still.

**Victoria:** Wait. You were surprised about me, but not Max?

**Kate:** Max and I have been Facebook friends for years. I’ve seen the pictures of her with her last girlfriend.

**Victoria:** She has pictures of her ex on Facebook?

**Kate:** Well, not anymore. But she did when they were dating.

**Victoria:** Am I prettier than she was?

**Kate:** Oh, we are SOOOOOOOOO not doing that.

* * *

**Derek:** So, how was your meeting with Leslie?

**Max:** How’d you know I was seeing her today?

**Derek:** I told you that she was a friend of mine.

**Max:** I mean, yea, but I didn’t think she would’ve told you.

**Derek:** Well, she did. So?

**Max:** It went well.

**Derek:** … that’s it?

**Max:** Much like you, my new patient’s family is also a big fan of Non-Disclosure Agreements.

**Derek:** Congrats on your new job, then.

**Max:** Thank you.

**Derek:** Did you negotiate a competitive rate?

**Max:** I did take your advice when we discussed a contract. Though I’ve decided not to do the live-in arrangement again.

**Derek:** I imagine living in the condo is a preferable alternative.

**Max:** … we never talked about me staying here.

**Derek:** Are you?

**Max:** It’s your condo. Am I allowed to?

**Derek:** It’s Victoria’s space. I might pay for it, but it’s hers to do with as she wishes. Far be it from me to tell her that her girlfriend can’t live with her.

**Max:** Are you sure?

**Derek:** Maybe I haven’t made it abundantly clear, Max, but my wife and I wholeheartedly support Victoria’s relationship with you. We both think you’re good for her, and we couldn’t be happier with the situation.

**Derek:** You are free to stay with her in the condo for as long as you two want.

**Max:** … thanks. That really means a lot to me.

**Derek:** You’re welcome.

* * *

**Courtney:** So… you’re not going back to Oregon, I take it.

**Max:** No. I’ve decided to stay in Seattle, and apply for grad school.

**Courtney:** Bummer.

**Max:** Why?

**Courtney:** I was just thinking that it would’ve been nice if SOMEONE from our group was down here, so we could hang out.

**Max:** … do you want to hang out? With me?

**Courtney: **I mean, we’re friends, right?

**Max:** Yes? Aren’t we?

**Courtney:** I thought so.

**Max:** Ha! I knew it!!

**Courtney:** Oh, shut up.

**Max:** Gosh, we’ve come so far from me threatening to sic Steph on you.

**Courtney:** I know, now we’re at the level where I can tolerate you.

**Max:** Aw, I can bear to be around you, too.

**Courtney:** Such progress we’ve made.

* * *

**Max:** So… I may have promised to introduce you to my parents.

**Victoria:** What do you mean? I’ve met your parents.

**Victoria:** Do you not remember that we spent almost a week together in your hospital room?

**Max:** I meant introducing you as my girlfriend.

**Victoria:** … oh.

**Max:** Yea.

**Victoria:** Should I be worried?

**Max:** I don’t think so? I mean, you guys seemed to get along well enough.

**Victoria:** That was when I was just your patient/client.

**Victoria:** Now their daughter’s seeing someone who almost got her killed.

**Max:** Okay, first of all, no you didn’t. And second, that wasn’t your fault.

**Victoria:** I don’t want to get into this argument again. But it was a little my fault.

**Max:** Look, I was texting to ask you if you were okay with this.

**Victoria:** Meeting your parents as your GF? If you want me to, of course I will.

**Victoria:** I mostly just want to know if I should wear body armor.

**Max:** My dad’s a lawyer, and my mom’s a paralegal. Neither of them believe in violence. You do not need to wear body armor.

**Victoria:** What about checking my food for poison?

**Max:** THAT is going to depend on how terrible of a job my father does on the grill.

* * *

**Steph:** Hey, can you borrow Max’s car?

**Victoria:** Maybe? Why? What’s wrong with your car?

**Steph:** I need to pick up a few things. And hers has more space.

**Victoria:** Why do you need me for that? Why not just ask Max?

**Steph:** I want YOUR help.

**Victoria:** What do you need to get?

**Steph:** Just a few things from Home Depot. Then we need to swing by Pike Place Market.

**Victoria:** What the hell do you need from Home Depot?

**Steph:** A pair of four-by-fours.

**Steph:** Rope.

**Steph:** A hammer.

**Steph:** Some of those really big nails.

**Victoria:** … why are we going by Pike Place?

**Steph:** No reason. Unrelated question, how tall are you?

**Victoria: **Know what? I just remembered that I’m busy all day.

**Steph:** NOT TOO BUSY TO BE A FUCKING SNITCH, APPARENTLY

* * *

**Taylor:** WHAT THE FUCK

**Victoria:** ??

**Taylor:** WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR FATHER?!

**Victoria:** Dude, I have no idea. What happened?

**Taylor:** You tell me!

**Taylor:** One minute I was in my cubicle, working on some promotional stuff. The next I was getting yanked into the office of my boss’s boss! Who proceeded to start demanding to know why the fuck I was meeting with Derek Chase behind everyone’s back!

**Victoria:** Oh, no, are you in trouble?

**Taylor:** I’M GETTING PROMOTED

**Victoria:** … huh?

**Taylor:** I don’t know what your dad is doing with Amazon, but he apparently told JEFF FUCKING BEZOS that he wanted me working on the project!!

**Victoria:** Cool! He knows your name now!

**Taylor:** NOT COOL

**Taylor:** I AM FREAKING THE FUCK OUT

**Victoria:** Why?!

**Taylor:** BECAUSE THE RICHEST MAN IN AMERICA JUST BUMPED ME THREE RUNGS UP THE CORPORATE LADDER TO WORK ON SOMETHING I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT!!

**Victoria:** Well, I hope you’re not gonna ask me, because I sure as hell don’t know.

**Taylor:** DAMMIT VIC

**Victoria:** I’m sorry, man, I can’t. Max is reading this over my shoulder and laughing her ass off.

**Taylor:** I HAVE A STAFF MEETING WITH HIM TOMORROW AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO

**Victoria:** … like, with Jeff Bezos?

**Taylor:** YES WITH JEFF BEZOS

**Victoria:** I suggest wearing something REALLY professional. And trying not to stutter.

**Taylor:** Really? No shit! Any other dumb suggestions?!

**Victoria:** Maybe don’t mention that you crush on female cartoon characters.

**Taylor:** GO TO HELL!!


	52. Barbecue

**Years Sober: 1**

**Days Sober: 48**

“There is it.”

Victoria watched the house come into view as Max rounded the corner in her parent’s neighborhood. It was a nice home, matching the others in the upper-middle class area of Kenmore, painted a deep shade of blue with a white garage. The backyard, complete with a small deck, was visible from the street. “Looks nice.”

Max smirked. “Might be a little smaller than that mansion on Mercer Island.”

“Little bit.”

The brunette looked sideways, as she parked the car in the driveway. “You’re not still nervous, are you?”

“Of being introduced to my girlfriend’s parents? Who know me only as the drug addict that got you into a fight with my old dealer, resulting in you getting stabbed?” Victoria asked dryly. “Why would you think that?”

“You guys got along fine at the hospital.”

“I wasn’t your girlfriend back then.”

“They’re not going to hate you just because we’re dating now.”

“So you’ve said.”

Max turned off the car, then reached over and took Victoria’s hand, interlacing their fingers. “Will you feel better if I promise to defend you, should the occasion call for it?”

“Not really.” Victoria exhaled slowly. “Okay. Let’s just… get this over with.”

Max’s phone buzzed, and she let go of Victoria’s hand to quickly check it. “Spam,” she muttered after a second, swiping away the notification. “Ugh.”

It was Victoria’s turn to smirk. “I thought you said it would take them a few days.”

“Yea, but we’re in that window.”

“I also thought they told you that you’d be a shoo-in.”

“They did. But until they actually accept my application, I’m not counting my chickens.” Max put her phone away. “Come on, no more stalling. Let’s go see if my dad can grill something correctly this time.”

They got out of the car, Victoria slowly closing the door behind her as she waited for Max to come around her side; while she wasn’t too nervous, she still didn’t want to lead the way inside. She walked just behind the brunette as they made their way towards the unlocked front door.

Max pushed it open, heading in as Victoria followed closely behind her. “Mom?” she called out. “Dad?”

“Max!” Victoria heard her mother yell. “I’m coming, I’m coming, I’m coming…”

The older brunette darted around a corner, holding a bottle of lighter fluid as she chattered away. “Sorry, your dad hasn’t been able to get the grill to light and we’ve been trying… to…”

Her voice faded as her eyes found Victoria. Vanessa blinked as she took her in. “… oh,” she said after several seconds.

_Yea. Figured._ Victoria unconsciously tried to hide behind Max, despite being taller than her girlfriend. _I knew this would go badly._

“Hey, Mom,” Max greeted, as she reached behind her and found Victoria’s hand. “Um… you remember Victoria, right?”

Vanessa glanced between the two of them several times. “So… you two are… together now?”

Max nodded. The confidence she’d been showing earlier seemed to be gone.

Her mother turned, her forehead hitting the wall with a _thunk_. “… wonderful,” she muttered. “Just wonderful.”

Victoria shrank further behind Max, as the brunette started at her mother. “… Mom?” she finally asked. “What’s… what are you doing?”

_Regretting ever leaving her daughter alone with me. Not insisting that they take her back to their house after the hospital. Not instilling higher standards._ Answers raced through Victoria’s mind as she watched Vanessa pick her head back up, turning back towards them. _Not like she doesn’t have good reasons._

Vanessa sighed deeply. “… I owe your father ten bucks.”

Max did a double take. “Excuse me?!”

* * *

“Well, the way we figured, there were only three possibilities.”

They were all outside now. Victoria’s unease had been mitigated somewhat; she’d even gotten a hug from Vanessa and been welcomed into their house, before being led out back. The three women were all seated at a small table while Ryan worked the brand-new grill, one that looked like a sideways metal drum.

He continued speaking, a bottle of lighter fluid in one hand and a long lighter in the other. “We know you haven’t been back to Oregon since you came up,” he mentioned. “And we’ve only met your friends in the hospital. That girl Kate mentioned that she had a baby, and the one with the black hair… that was Courtney, right?”

Max nodded. “Yea.”

“Okay. Well, we figured it wasn’t the girl who drove up from Oregon. Which left Taylor, Steph, and Victoria.” Ryan gestured at her with the lighter. “And the other two didn’t keep her company in the hospital for almost a week. You felt like a safe bet.”

Victoria couldn’t help but smirk. “I… guess that was kind of obvious.”

Max glanced at her mother. “Who were you betting on?”

“That other girl, Taylor.” Vanessa shrugged as she sipped from a glass of ice water. “Steph didn’t really seem like she was your type.”

A smirk came over Max’s face. “Wow.”

“What?”

“Steph is gay too, Mom. Taylor’s straight.”

“Mm.” Victoria shrugged. “Straight-ish.”

Max looked at her. “Ish?”

“Okay, there’s nothing ‘ish’ about it. Taylor is one hundred percent bisexual.”

“Really?”

“Uh, yea.” Victoria smirked. “She dated a girl for, like, six months in college. Your mom isn’t that far off the mark.”

“Ah.” Max pursed her lips, then shrugged and turned back to her mother. “So you and Dad decided to make my life the subject of a bet?”

“Yep.” Vanessa reached into her pocket, pulling out a folded bill and holding out towards Ryan. “Here you are, babe.”

“Thank you.” Ryan plucked the bill from her hand, stuffing it into his pocket. “Now, once I get this grill working, we can start on some burgers.”

A look of concern came over Max’s face as she watched him squirt a liberal amount of lighter fluid over the charcoal. “Um… Dad, that seems like a little too-”

Undeterred, Ryan stuck the lighter against the charcoal and pulled the trigger.

A massive rush of flames exploded from the grill with an audible _whoosh_, making all three of the women jump in their seats.

“There we go!” Ryan exclaimed, squirting some more lighter fluid over the flames and watching them jump again. “We’ll get these babies to catch this time.”

“Or the house,” Victoria muttered to Max under her breath, eliciting a cackle from the brunette.

Ryan looked over. “What was that?”

“Nothing.”

* * *

_Okay. So far, so good._

Victoria took a few deep breaths as she washed her hands in the Caulfield’s bathroom. _They don’t seem to hate you. And if they’re still holding a grudge about Max getting stabbed, it looks like they’re keeping quiet about it._

_Plus, you know, her dad bet ten bucks on me. That must be… something, I guess._

She dried her hands on a towel, letting out one last sigh as she turned and opened the door. She gently closed the door behind her as she stepped into the hall.

“Can I ask a question?”

Victoria jumped, not having seen Vanessa behind her. “God,” she breathed, putting a hand on her chest.

“Sorry.” Vanessa gave her a half-smirk. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

_… pretty sure she did._

“It’s, uh, fine.” Victoria willed her heartrate back to normal as she cleared her throat. “A question?”

“Maybe a couple.” Vanessa stood in the middle of the hall, one hand on her hip. “Is my daughter in trouble because of you?”

“… in trouble?”

“I know she signed a contract with your family, when she agreed to be your Sober Companion,” Vanessa elaborated. “And my husband and I are somewhat familiar with contract law. Is your relationship with her causing any legal issues?”

Victoria immediately shook her head. “No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.” Victoria took a short breath. “My dad likes her. A lot. He still paid her the bonus, even after she told him about us.”

Vanessa tilted her head. “Did he?”

“I mean… she did keep me sober for a year.” Victoria scratched at her arm. “Plus, you know…”

“Right. The whole ‘getting stabbed’ thing.”

Victoria immediately dropped her gaze. “… yea.”

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad about that,” Vanessa said quickly. “It wasn’t-”

“It wasn’t my fault.” Victoria bit her lip. “That’s what people keep telling me. Although I don’t know why.”

“Because you weren’t the one holding the knife,” Vanessa said plainly.

“He was my drug dealer. Max never would’ve been in that position if it wasn’t for me.” Victoria looked back up. “I swear, I’d do anything to take back what I’ve done. Not just to Max, to everyone else, too,” she added.

“Mm.” Vanessa pursed her lips. “You’re doing classes, right?”

Victoria nodded.

“How far until your degree?”

“A couple of years or so.”

“What’s your major going to be?”

“Fine Arts. With a specialization in photography.”

“Interesting.” Vanessa nodded. “What are you going to do with it?”

“I… honestly haven’t given it as much thought as I should’ve,” Victoria admitted. “I kind-of like the idea of opening a studio, or something.”

“Are you a good photographer?”

“Max says so.” Victoria let a semblance of a smirk cross her face. “Though she might be biased.”

Vanessa smirked back. “Possibly,” she agreed. “Well. She seems to really like you.”

Victoria nodded, unsure of what to say.

“You might understand why I’m a little concerned, right?”

“… I’d be surprised if you weren’t,” Victoria agreed. “At least a little bit.”

“Only a little bit.” Vanessa leaned against the wall. “Did Max ever tell you how she felt about Chloe?”

Victoria tilted her head. “Her friend?”

“She was more than a friend to Max,” Vanessa corrected. “I know my daughter cared for her a lot. Even though they fell out of touch during high school, Max was devastated when she was killed. Did you know that she spent three weeks on a mental health facility after it happened?”

“No. She never told me.”

“We brought her right after the funeral.” Vanessa glanced over her shoulder, before she continued. “The doctors diagnosed her with PTSD. And she had an incredible amount of guilt. They explained over and over, that she would’ve only gotten hurt had she intervened. But for a long time, she refused to accept that what happened wasn’t her fault.”

Victoria felt her heart ache. “God,” she breathed. “I… only knew some of that.”

“Do you know why I’m telling you this?”

The blonde shook her head.

“You said Max fixed you. And she clearly did an incredible job,” Vanessa added. “But that doesn’t mean that she’s not still hurting, either. And I don’t want to see her hurt any more than she already has.”

The pieces came together in Victoria’s mind. “Is… this a subtle don’t-hurt-my-daughter threat?” she asked carefully.

An amused look crossed Vanessa’s face. “Maybe not so subtle.”

“Got it.” Victoria squirmed. “I, uh… I love her, you know.”

Vanessa’s eyebrows went up. “You guys are there?”

Victoria nodded. “And… I get that her being with a cocaine addict isn’t really ideal,” she added. “But before I met her, I didn’t have anyone that I thought was worth staying sober for. She’s the one who convinced me that being clean was worth it. And I have no intention of ever going back.”

“Mm.” Vanessa seemed to mull that statement over. “Good.”

“Yea?”

“Yep.” Vanessa nodded. “Congratulations, by the way.”

“For… what?”

“I know you passed your one-year mark recently. How far along are you now?”

“One year and forty-eight days,” she answered immediately.

Vanessa arched an eyebrow. “That was fast.”

“I keep track on a whiteboard.”

“Ah ha.” Vanessa smiled. “Well. I hope you keep at it.”

Victoria nodded behind her. “Max makes it easy.”

“I’m sure she does.” Vanessa stood back upright. “Come on. I smell something burning.”

Victoria followed her back out onto the patio, where they were greeted by a thick cloud of smoke emanating from the grill. Ryan was in the middle, waving a spatula and coughing.

Max stood at the far end of the patio, covering her nose and mouth with a hand. “You okay in there, Dad?” she called.

“Yes!” he answered immediately. “Everything is fine!”

“Then what’s that smell?”

“The smell of progress,” he coughed out. “Also, I may have dropped a couple of patties into the charcoal.”

Vanessa sighed, before she glanced at Victoria. “What kind of toppings do you like on your pizza?”

* * *

“There’s always next time, Dad.”

Ryan coughed again, as he shot his amused daughter a look. “It was the charcoal’s fault.”

“Sure it was,” Max allowed, a smirk still on her face. “Did you read the instructions?”

“Yes,” Ryan said, sounded offended. “Of course I did.”

“Yea, but did you really?”

He narrowed his eyes. “Don’t be a smart-alleck just because your girlfriend’s here.”

“Sure thing.” Max took another bite of her pizza. “This is really good, by the way.”

Ryan looked at his wife, who also had an amused look on her face. “I could’ve saved it, you know.”

“Sweetie, you lost half the box into the fire.” Vanessa nudged the pizza box. “Have another slice. You’ll do better next time.”

He sighed, looking at Victoria. “Least it’s an exciting day, right?”

“Yep.” Victoria smiled as she finished her piece of pizza, glancing back outside. “Maybe next time you could try using the smoker? I’ll bet that’s easier.”

He blinked. “The smoker?”

“That little box on the side of the grill.” Victoria pointed. “Isn’t that for smoking meat?”

“It is? I thought it was for storing extra charcoal.”

Max scoffed. “Yea, Dad, you TOTALLY read those instructions.”

Ryan hesitated. “I might’ve just skimmed them.”

“Must’ve been pretty quick, if my girlfriend knows more than-”

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, and Max stopped to retrieve it, checking the screen. She grumbled as she swiped the notification away.

Vanessa tilted her head. “You waiting on something, sweetie?”

“Nothing important.”

“Really?” Victoria gave her a look. “NOTHING important?”

Max’s face colored. “Nope.”

“What?” Ryan looked between them. “What is it?”

“Nothing, Dad.”

Victoria rolled her eyes. “She’s waiting for an email about her grad school application.”

“Her what?!” Vanessa gasped, looking at Max. “You applied for grad school?!”

Max shot Victoria a glare. “Tattle-tale,” she muttered, sighing as she slouched in her chair. “Yes. I sent in my application last week.”

“That’s amazing!” Ryan exclaimed. “Max, that’s incredible news! Why wouldn’t you say anything?!”

She bit her lip. “… in case I don’t get accepted.”

“You’re going to get accepted,” Victoria said pointedly. “The admissions counselor said so.”

“Yea, I’m sure she wouldn’t say what she had to in order to convince people to apply,” Max countered. “I just… don’t want to get too excited, in case it gets shot down.”

Vanessa scoffed. “We raised you to be a lot of things, Max, but a pessimist wasn’t one of them. Victoria’s right, I’m sure you’ll be accepted.”

“What degree did you apply for?” Ryan asked.

“Clinical Psychology.” Max shrugged. “I figured it would be helpful, for working with patients. Might make it easier to get to the root of their problems.”

Ryan nodded. “That sounds amazing, sweetie,” he assured her. “I’m sure you’ll be great at it.”

Her phone buzzed again. Everyone looked at her expectantly, as she pulled it back out of her pocket, checking the screen.

“… lovely,” she muttered.

“What?” Victoria asked.

Max glanced at her. “Someone’s trying to reach me about my ten-year-old car’s extended warranty.”

* * *

“Told you they’d like you.”

Victoria sighed, as she leaned on the patio railing beside Max. It was late in the evening, and the two of them had stepped outside for some fresh air. “Yea. You did.”

Max nudged her with a shoulder. “You were worried for nothing.”

“I disagree. I think it was a very valid concern.”

“And apparently misplaced.”

“So it seems.” Victoria hesitated, glancing behind her to make sure they were alone. “… can I ask you a question?”

“What?”

“Do you still miss Chloe?”

Max blinked, her amused expression dropping. After a few seconds, she turned back to face the yard. “… every day,” she said softly, after a few seconds.

“Did you…” Victoria paused. “Like her? Really like her?”

The brunette didn’t speak, as she picked at her fingers. “Yea,” she finally admitted. “I did. But… I never got a chance to tell her how I really felt.”

Victoria found Max’s hand, taking it and squeezing gently. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“Thanks.” Max shook her head. “There’s a lot of things I wish I did differently, too.”

“Mm.” Victoria looked back over the yard. “We can’t change the past.”

“… no,” Max agreed. “No, we can’t. Much as we both might wish it were an option.” She glanced at Victoria. “I might regret some of the choices I made. But… I can’t say that I’m upset, about how things have turned out.”

Victoria let a smile cross her face. “Me either.”

Max phone buzzed in her pocket again, and she pulled it out to check the screen. “Anything important?” Victoria asked dryly.

“No.” Max smirked. “Just my acceptance letter.”

“Your- wait, what?!”

Max showed her the screen, letting Victoria read the email congratulating her girlfriend on her acceptance into the graduate program. “I guess you guys were right,” she allowed.

Victoria didn’t reply. She just grabbed Max’s collar and pulled her in close, planting a fierce kiss onto the brunette’s lips. Max grinned as they separated. “Congratulations to me, huh?”

“Not yet.” Victoria leaned in close, her lips next to Max’s ear. “Your congratulatory present is gonna have to wait until we get back to the condo.”

Even in the low light, she could see Max’s face turn red, though the brunette didn’t lose her grin. “Well, I’m ready to go.”

“Nope.” Victoria thumbed over her shoulder. “You gotta tell your parents, first.”

“But then they’ll keep us here longer,” Max groaned.

“Then I suggest you hurry.”

* * *

**Courtney:** How’d meeting Max’s folks go?

**Victoria:** Not too bad. Only one thinly veiled threat.

**Courtney:** To be expected, I suppose.

**Victoria:** Yea. And Max found out she got accepted into the master’s program, so that was awesome.

**Courtney:** Nice! Tell her I said congrats!

**Victoria:** Will do. How’s the new line coming?

**Courtney:** Really, really good. Macy’s has agreed to stock it for their fall sales.

**Victoria:** Awesome! Including the puffy jacket?

**Courtney:** Including the puffy jacket.

**Victoria:** We’re totally getting a couple. Max and I agreed to get them for each other for our birthdays.

**Courtney:** Well, come September, you can get it in a variety of colors for $174.99.

**Victoria:** … Jesus.

**Courtney:** Quality cuteness ain’t cheap.


	53. The Attempt

**Years Sober: 2**

**Days Sober: 204**

_She looks tired._

_Must’ve been a long day._

The unassuming-looking man watched his mark through the windshield of his car, parked across the street from the Urgent Care. The woman stood with her head down, rubbing her eye with one hand, oblivious to the world around her as she tapped away on her phone with the other.

_What’s she doing?_ He wondered. _Texting a friend? Making a Facebook post? Playing one of those mobile games?_

_I suppose it doesn’t matter. _He double-checked the picture he’d been given. As well as the ones he’d managed to retrieve from Facebook. He noted the brown hair, the freckles, and the blue messenger bag that she seemed to favor. She was carrying that messenger bag at that moment, as she stood outside the Urgent Care she spent most of her weekdays at.

_Maxine Caulfield. Twenty-six years old. Former addiction counselor from Oregon. Working on her Master’s in Clinical Psychology._

As he looked back up, a blonde girl with short hair walked around the corner of the building, stopping as she saw Maxine. A grin spread over her face as she saw that the brunette hadn’t noticed her; she continued to tap at the phone, unaware of the blonde’s presence. He watched her sneak up on Maxine, moving quietly until she was behind her, before grabbing the girl’s sides.

Even through the glass and across the street, he could hear her shriek in surprise.

He smirked as Maxine yelled at the blonde, hitting her repeatedly in the shoulder as the other girl laughed hysterically. _That’s what you get for not paying attention, I suppose._

A quick glance at the other photos confirmed the blonde’s identity, too. _Victoria Chase. Also twenty-six. Recent graduate with her degree in Fine Arts. Daughter of a business magnate. Maxine’s live-in girlfriend._

He’d been told about her, and that she wasn’t to be harmed unless absolutely necessary. There was a bonus in it for him if he didn’t. But over the past two weeks of observation, he was beginning to realize that it wasn’t possible; it seemed that if Maxine wasn’t at the Urgent Care, she was with Victoria.

Doing anything at the Urgent Care was out of the question. He wouldn’t be able to get past an admitting desk without being buzzed in, and he had no idea where Maxine worked in any case. The building they lived in had too many security cameras for him to do anything there, either.

And he was running out of time. His client would be expecting an update before the week was over, and he didn’t want to run late.

_If it happens, it happens._ He shrugged mentally. _Business gets messy sometimes. _

After a few minutes, Victoria seemed to have made up with Maxine. Though she still looked unhappy, she did return a kiss and hook arms with the blonde before they walked down the street, rounding a corner towards a restaurant they favored.

He waited a few heartbeats before he started the car to follow them.

* * *

It would happen after they left the restaurant.

By then, it was getting dark. And there weren’t any cameras on that part of the street. The two girls would leave the restaurant and turn towards him to walk back to their condo. He’d parked the car so it faced away from them; they’d pass him as they walked down the sidewalk, and wouldn’t know it until it was too late.

He slowly screwed a suppressor onto his small-caliber pistol as he waited, his eyes on the side mirror while he rehearsed his plan. It was simple, really; he’d wait until they passed him before he stepped out, calling their names. As they turned to face him, he’d squeeze the trigger twice. A few seconds to rob them of their purses, so the police would think it was a mugging, then back into the car. From there, he’d drive to the parking lot a few blocks over and change cars to cross the border into Canada.

The total time from him pulling the trigger to leaving the country would be less than three hours. Not nearly enough time for local police to gather his description and alert a border checkpoint. He’d collect his fee upon arrival in Vancouver, board a plane to Ontario, and never see his client again.

As he kept his eyes on his side mirror, he watched the door to the restaurant open. Maxine’s face was full of mirth as she laughed while holding the door for Victoria.

He cycled the action on his pistol, then performed a press check, ensuring that he had a round in the chamber. Then he turned back to the mirror, waiting for his targets. Only a few seconds before they’d start walking.

A knock on the passenger window distracted him.

He turned and saw a woman with red hair, wearing business attire. She was knocking on the window patiently, trying to get his attention. Cursing mentally, he concealed the pistol behind the center console while pressing the lever on his door to crack her window. “Can I help you?” he asked cautiously.

“No, Mister Matthews,” the woman stated. “I’m here to help you.”

“Excuse me?”

“That is you, right? Kevin Matthews, from Philadelphia?”

She knew his real name. The hair on the back of his neck stood at attention. Very few people that were still alive knew his real name, and where he was from. A cold feeling took over his stomach, as he tightened the grip on his pistol. “I’m afraid you have me mistaken for someone else. Please leave me alone.”

“I don’t think that’s wise, Mister Matthews.”

“And why not?”

“Look down.”

He glanced at his chest and froze. A red dot from a laser danced on his shirt.

_… shit._

“Unlock the door, Mister Matthews,” the woman told him. “We need to talk.”

_If she wanted me dead, I would be._

_…_

_Guess I don’t have a choice._

He unlocked the door for her, and she slipped into the car, closing it gently behind her as she got comfortable. He noticed her bag for the first time, as she set it on her lap. “Drop your gun, please.”

“I don’t have a gun.”

“Yes, you do. A twenty-two caliber Ruger with a suppressor.” She nodded at his hand, still hidden behind the center console. “Please put it on the floor.”

_How could she possibly know that?_

He complied, setting the pistol down at his feet. “… now what?”

“Now we wait.” She glanced behind them. “We’ll do this once Max and Victoria pass us. No need for them to be here. And I wouldn’t try anything; my colleague will make sure you won’t be around long enough to regret it.”

Obeying seemed to be the safest, so he did, setting both hands on the steering wheel without being told. He watched the laser briefly illuminate his knuckles before settling back on his chest. A brief look around the area didn’t reveal where the assumed sniper was aiming from.

After a few minutes the two girls passed the car, walking hand-in-hand. Neither of them paid any mind to him or his passenger as the rounded the corner, walking out of sight.

“Now, then.” The woman faced him. “It’s our understanding that you’re being paid to kill Maxine Caulfield. Is that right?”

He nodded.

“How much?”

“Seventy-five thousand.”

She made a noise with her throat. “Total, or so far?”

“Only twenty-five grand so far,” he informed her. “The rest afterwards.”

“And Victoria?”

“There’s an extra twenty-five thousand if she doesn’t get hurt.”

The woman cracked open her bag and rummaged around. After several seconds, she produced several handfuls of money; thick stacks of hundreds, banded together.

He frowned, confused. “What’s that?”

“Seventy-five thousand dollars.” The woman laid the cash on her lap as she closed her bag. “We’re buying out your contract.”

“You’re paying me… not to kill her?”

“We’re also going to give you four hours to leave Seattle.” She looked him in the eyes. “And never come back.”

“… why?”

“Because you’re going to tell us who hired you.”

He scoffed. “I don’t name my clients.”

“I suggest you change that policy.”

“If people found out, then you might as well have your friend kill me. I won’t be employable.”

“I assure you, Mister Matthews, that option is still on the table.” Her look turned more intense. “This is a business transaction. We’re offering to pay you the remainder of your contract for a completed job, and the opportunity to walk away with your life. In exchange, we only require that you confirm the name of the person who hired you. Many in your line of work would agree that the deal is more than generous.”

_She’s right._

_… fuck it. I’m not dying for a hundred grand._

He took a slow breath. “His name’s Prescott,” he admitted quietly.

“Prescott?”

“Yea. Sean Prescott. Some businessman in Vancouver.”

The information didn’t seem to surprise the woman. “Did he say why he wanted her dead?”

“I don’t ask why. I just do what I’m paid for.”

“Okay, then.” She nodded. “You’ve made a smart choice.”

“So. Now what?”

“It is…” She checked her watch. “Six-thirty-seven. You have until ten-thirty-seven to leave the city by whatever means you desire. I suggest taking the I-5.”

“… okay.” He sighed. “Can I go now?”

“One last thing.” The woman turned her gaze back to him. “We know that men of your nature talk to each other. And no doubt they would see the benefit in accepting this same job, with the intent of us buying them out as well. Easy paydays, and all.”

“Yea, probably.”

“It would behoove you to inform them that this was a one-time deal. The next person who comes to claim Max’s life will forfeit their own.”

The nonchalance the woman exuded with her threat sent chills down his spine. “Sure,” he replied quickly. “I’ll let them know.”

“We’d appreciate it if you did.” The woman closed her bag. “Have a good evening, Mister Matthews. And do drive safely.”

* * *

“_You’re sure?_”

“Sure enough to let him go. Don’t worry, I made sure the girls got back to the condo safely.”

“_And he did leave town? Brad?_”

“I followed him to the I-5, and he turned south, heading towards Los Angeles. The tracker Sarah dropped in his car shows that he’s still on the highway.”

“_You think he’ll come back?_”

“I doubt it. She was very convincing.”

“Well, he was hardly the most dangerous man I’ve ever paid off.”

“_Good. Now, how do we ensure that there won’t be a second attempt? We were lucky enough to notice the first one._”

“Brad and I can make sure of it, if you want.”

“_I do. But I don’t want any blood on our hands. I won’t sink down to his level._”

“Well, there might be another way. But it’ll cost money.”

“_I won’t pay him off, either._”

“No, of course not. My suggestion was going to be a little more… indirect.”

“_… I’m listening._”

* * *

Sean missed his old mansion.

Granted, his new house was just as nice, when it came to the small touches. The overly-expensive kitchen, hardwood floors throughout, a sizeable pool on the grounds… it was still a very nice house by anyone’s definition of the term.

But his old one…

Sean sighed as he ran his hands along the banister, while climbing the stairs. He used to live in the nicest house for hundreds of miles, back in Arcadia Bay; now he lived in a neighborhood of equally-nice houses. He was no longer atop the social pyramid; hell, many of the people nearby didn’t even know who he was.

That would soon change. He’d seen to that. Sean Prescott did NOT take his losses lying down; he was destined for something greater than the middle.

_Just a few more days,_ he thought, feeling a semblance of happiness. _Once they agree to the terms, we’ll be back on track. And in a few more years, most of the town will know who we are._

_Maybe Nathan will be ready by then._

He spared a glance down the hall as he entered the second floor of his house. The door to his son’s room was closed, as usual; Nathan didn’t leave his room often, except to get food. And the only people who visited him were the tutors and his mother.

_She coddles that boy,_ Sean thought irritably. His biggest disagreement with Carol, and one that had essentially turned their loveless marriage into a near-constant argument. He knew that she’d divorce him, if she could.

But she wouldn’t. Not with Nathan still relying on them.

Her bedroom door was closed, too. Sean wasn’t even entirely sure she was home; they often went days without seeing or speaking to each other, which suited him just fine. He was more than happy to let Carol spend her time and his money however she decided. His driving concern was coming back from the brink of destruction, where his son had dragged them.

_Not for long._ Sean sighed, as he got to the top floor of his house. All he wanted was a drink, at the end of a long day. He entered his study, heading straight for the far table by his desk. He moved a tumbler in front of him before reaching for his bottle of scotch.

It was gone.

He frowned as he looked at the space where it normally sat. _Strange. I just brought that bottle._

_… did that damn housekeeper steal it?_

_That’s it. Bad enough she moves my paperwork around, but I swear I’ll have that woman’s-_

“This isn’t bad.”

He spun towards the voice behind him. A man wearing a suit sat in a chair by the bookshelf, sipping from his own glass. Sean’s missing bottle of scotch was uncapped on the table beside him.

The man had been so quiet, Sean hadn’t even realized that he was there.

“I’m usually more of a Macallan Twelve guy,” he continued as he studied the glass. “I don’t think I’ve ever had a scotch that’s aged twenty-five years. I can see why it’s so expensive, though. Definitely worth the money.”

Sean didn’t reply. He immediately turned and strode for his desk, his hand reaching for the phone to call the police. But the handset was gone, too.

“Looking for something?”

A woman’s voice now. He turned to see her blocking the door behind him, holding the phone in her hand.

“Who the hell are you!?” Sean demanded, the heat in his face rising. “How did you people get into my house?!”

The man smirked as he took another sip from his glass. “The door was open.”

“It most certainly was not!”

He sighed as he looked at the woman. “Nobody has a sense of humor anymore.”

Sean moved around his desk, grabbing a drawer and yanking it open. Like his scotch and the phone, however, his pistol was also gone.

“A-hem.” Sean glanced up to see the man holding the gun in his hand. “Not that it matters, but you should know that it’s illegal for you to own a pistol in Canada without a license.”

“Have a seat, Mister Prescott.” The woman closed the door behind her as she stepped inside. “We have some things to discuss.”

“Like hell we-”

The man pulled back the hammer of the pistol with his thumb, the click very audible. “We weren’t asking,” he said, the tone of his voice having gone cold. “Sit the fuck down.”

* * *

“Who are you people?”

Brad and Sarah glanced at each other, as they stood in front of Sean. The old man had been forced into a reading chair with his own pistol, and Brad kept it visible at all times. “Our names aren’t important,” Sarah answered, after a few seconds. “The man we represent is far more relevant to this discussion.”

“And he is?”

“Mister Chase.” Sarah cocked his head. “You DO know who that is, right?”

Sean’s face slowly flushed. “… yes.”

“Good. Then I don’t have to waste time explaining why we’re here.”

“You…” Sean took a few seconds, seeming to gather himself before speaking. “I don’t know what you think you heard. But it’s not-”

“Oh, we know what we’ve heard. That you paid a man to kill Maxine Caulfield. With a bonus if he didn’t kill Victoria in the process,” she added. “Mister Chase was particularly insulted to learn that you thought his daughter’s life was only worth twenty-five thousand dollars.”

“I gave that man STRONG instructions not to-”

“It doesn’t matter.” She folded her arms. “You hired a hitman to kill a girl that Mister Chase has a fondness for, and put his daughter in the middle. For no reason we can discern, by the way,” she added. “We really do want to know what was going through your mind, Mister Prescott. Your son has already been exonerated for his crimes; what, exactly, does having Miss Caulfield killed get you?”

Sean pressed his lips together and didn’t reply.

After several seconds of silence, Brad sighed heavily. Then he casually lifted the pistol and squeezed the trigger.

The gunshot made Sean jump in his seat. He felt the bullet tear through the chair just beside his shoulder. “Jesus!” he exclaimed.

“This isn’t an interrogation room, and your lawyer isn’t here,” Brad said sharply. “You don’t have the right to remain silent.”

“And your wife took Nathan to a retreat in Brentwood Bay this morning,” Sarah added. “There’s a mental-health seminar that she thought would be beneficial. So we can be as loud as we want. Now, why did you pay to have Miss Caulfield killed?”

Sean seethed, as he glared at her. “… that little bitch almost destroyed my legacy.”

Brad raised an eyebrow. “Maxine didn’t testify back in twenty-thirteen. She’s not responsible for putting your son in prison.”

“She did the second time.”

“Mm.” He looked at Sarah. “Max’s unfortunate luck, to have been in the room when Nathan killed her best friend. Something that wasn’t even her fault.”

“I know.” Sarah shook her head. “Talk about a useless grudge to hold.”

“I didn’t ask for either of your-”

Brad lifted the gun and fired a second round into the chair, beside Sean’s other shoulder. The older man yelped as he shrank away from the impact. “We didn’t ask for your opinion, either,” he retorted.

“I want you to look at me, Mister Prescott,” Sarah stated. “And listen carefully, because we want to make sure this is crystal clear. Are you listening?”

Sean nodded after a few seconds.

“Tomorrow morning, you’re going to get a phone call from Mister Harris’s assistant,” she said. “As well as representatives from BC Hydro and BBTV. All of them are going to tell you that they greatly appreciated your offers, but their respective companies have received much more favorable options, and they’ve decided not to use your services.”

“That’s- you can’t-”

“It’s already done,” Brad interrupted. “The contracts were signed this afternoon.”

“Also, Miss Ford is going to terminate her relationship with Prescott Dynamics.” Sarah nodded. “She was informed this evening that you didn’t solicit quotes for the performed services, and instead made sure the company that did the work was one of your vendors. Which then charged her a premium for product that she’s found to be of less than acceptable quality. I would expect a sizeable lawsuit, once she confers with her legal team. One which will likely include punitive damages.”

“And we had a very productive conversation with Jason Matthews earlier today.” Brad smirked. “You know him, right? The business analyst who writes for the Vancouver Sun? He was very interested in what we had to say, and is currently writing an article about you for the Sunday paper. Though I understand it’s not going to be a very good one.”

With each statement, Sean’s face had gotten redder and redder. “If you think I’m going to-”

“Maxine Caulfield is under Mister Chase’s protection,” Sarah informed him. “Whatever issues you think you have with her, it would be best if you considered them over. If you insist on carrying this vendetta, failing business ventures and lawsuits will be the least of your concerns. Because if we have to come back here, it will be to end the problem ourselves.” She paused. “Permanently.”

“Is there anything you don’t understand?” Brad asked.

If looks could kill, Sean’s glare would have ended both of them. But he gave them the tiniest of nods.

“Good.” Brad pocketed the pistol. Then he turned and picked the bottle of scotch back up. “I’m taking this, by the way. I think the twelve-year-old varieties might be more suitable to your new financial status.”

* * *

“So it’s settled, then?”

Max gave Victoria a look, as they sat on the couch in Derek’s office. “I thought he was trying to avoid working while we were here,” she said quietly.

“Hey, at least he knows that we’re here,” Victoria whispered back, as she squeezed Max’s hand. “You were the one who said that small progress is still progress.”

“Good.” Derek nodded into his phone. “And everything was made clear?”

He listened.

“Hmm.” He leaned back into his chair. “I don’t know if that was… no, Sarah, I’m not going to argue with the results. That just seemed a little unnecessary.”

“Any idea what he’s talking about?” Max asked Victoria.

The blonde shrugged. “He’s probably muscling out some competition or something.”

“Excuse me?” Derek’s eyebrows went up. “Brad, as nice as it is to hear that you’re improving your taste in scotch, that wasn’t why you were there.”

Max perked up. “Is your dad giving Brad more responsibility?”

“I guess so.”

“Oh, that’s cool.” Max smiled. “He was just telling me that he wanted to take a more active role in the company. I’ll bet he’s thrilled to be getting more experience.”

“No, no, of course not.” Derek shook his head. “You and Sarah did great work, and I’m happy it went well. I’ll see you both on Monday. And do make sure you bring that bottle with you… well, you certainly can’t give it back, and I think having a glass myself would be very therapeutic.”

After a few seconds, he chuckled. “Nevertheless. You two have a safe flight.”

Max and Victoria stood as he hung up the phone. “What was that all about?” Victoria asked.

“Oh, nothing important. Brad and Sarah were handling a problem for me in Canada.”

Max tilted her head. “Who’s Sarah?”

“Another one of my assistants. We hired her a few months ago.” Derek rose and retrieved his suit jacket. “An absolutely brilliant woman with a degree in International Affairs from Yale. She also speaks three languages, and spent a number of years working overseas as a government contractor.”

“Sounds helpful.”

“Very. Though she can be a little intense, and I certainly wouldn’t play against her in a game of poker.” Derek smirked as he slid the jacket on. “We should leave before we’re late for dinner, or I’ll never hear the end of it from Mary.”


	54. Photos

**Years Sober: 4**

**Days Sober: 217**

Max was very content with not getting up, as she lay awake in the early hours of the morning.

She slowly nestled back into the arms of the blonde behind her, Victoria lightly snoring as they spooned. Her left arm was under Max’s neck again, while her right was where it usually wound up during the night; under her shirt, resting gently on the scar beside Max’s bellybutton.

After a few minutes, Max’s phone buzzed with text notifications. She reached out slowly, making sure not to disturb Victoria, as she retrieved her phone from the wireless charger and checked the messages she’d received during the night.

**Kate:** I don’t see why she couldn’t!

**Kate: **We’ll probably practice first, though. She’s back to being easily distracted again. But I’m sure carrying flowers will be easy enough.

Max smirked, scrolling up at a new photo of Alice. The girl was about to turn four years old, and she’d only gotten more adorable since birth. She closed out the message and moved on.

**Steph:** FUCK YES LET’S DO THIS

_Nice. _Max shook her head at her friend’s enthusiasm as she moved on, checking her latest message.

**Courtney:** Okay, I know it’s only been a few days, but tell me what you think of these.

Max opened the pictures and scrolled through them, humming quietly before she started responding.

**Max:** I like them.

**Courtney:** What about Vic?

**Max:** She’s not awake yet.

**Courtney:** Ugh. Slacker.

**Max:** The studio isn’t open on Sundays. She’s allowed to sleep in.

**Courtney:** Fine. Let me know what she says. If you guys both like them, then I’ll get with the others and start getting measurements.

**Max:** They won’t be too expensive, will they?

**Courtney:** Nah. I’ll do it at cost, to make sure everyone can afford it.

**Max:** Thank you so much.

**Courtney:** Hey, it’s not often I get to design my own bridesmaid dress.

Max glanced down at Victoria’s hand, looking at the silver ring. Between her job and Victoria’s photography studio, the two of them were bringing in a decent amount of money, so Max had splurged a little on the ring. The diamond, flanked by two sapphires, glinted on Victoria’s finger.

**Max:** I’m pretty sure you just don’t want us to pick ugly ones.

**Courtney:** Nothing says I can’t do both. You and Vic figure out who’s getting Steph as a bridesmaid yet?

**Max:** Yea, I won the argument. Told her last night.

**Courtney:** What’d she say?

**Max:** She seemed enthusiastic.

**Courtney:** LOL I bet she was.

“Who’re you texting?” Victoria muttered behind her.

Max put the phone face-down on the bed. “Courtney.”

“Wha’s she want?”

“She sent me a picture of possible bridesmaid dresses. Wanna see?”

“Nrm.” Victoria grunted into her pillow. “Later. Back to sleep.”

“You can sleep, if you want.” Max started to peel back the blanket. “I gotta get up.”

Victoria’s grip on her waist tightened. “No.”

“Babe, let go.”

“Mm mm.”

Max struggled, but her fiancée’s grip was like iron. “Seriously, babe, I have paperwork I need to go over.”

“No you don’t.”

“I want to do it now, so I don’t have to do it after dinner with your parents.”

“… fine.” Victoria let go of Max, finally letting her sit up. “You coming back after?”

“Of course I am.” Max leaned over and kissed Victoria’s cheek. “Go back to sleep.”

“’kay.” Victoria curled back up. “Miss you.”

Max smirked as she left their bedroom, shutting the door behind her. The two of them still lived in Derek’s condo, though Max had moved all of her stuff into Victoria’s bedroom, the bigger of the two. Her old room had been transformed into an office.

After making a pot of coffee, Max went into the office, closing the door behind her and setting the cup down on her desk. Then she sat in her chair, opened the filing cabinet beside her, and dug through the files she kept on her current and former patients; after helping Derek’s friend with her son, she’d been referred to a couple of other families with similar problem children. Her reputation had spread from there, and she’d since found herself juggling two or three patients at once.

All at competitive rates, as per Derek’s suggestion.

She found what she was looking for in the far back of the cabinet; a key taped to the back of the drawer. She fished it out and turned to her desk, using the key to unlock the bottom drawer. From that drawer, she retrieved a lockbox from under another pile of paperwork.

As she lifted it to place on her desk, she felt her hand hit the coffee mug. “Shit!” she cursed quietly as the beverage spilled, then dropped the lockbox on the floor to check the damage.

The coffee had gone all over her desk. Several important papers were now wet, including a contract for a new patient she was supposed to be reviewing. And the coffee was now dripping onto the carpet, making stains.

She bit her lip, glancing at the office door to make sure it was closed.

_Fuck it. I so do not feel like cleaning this up right now._

With that, she raised her hand.

Time flew backwards with it’s usual speed, her surroundings looking like water as she watched the coffee flow backwards into the cup, which then immediately righted itself. She released her grip on time as soon as it was fixed, leaving an upright mug full of coffee.

She moved it to the side, making sure it was completely out of the way before placing the lockbox on the desk.

* * *

Her decision to save Arcadia Bay still haunted her.

Max could still remember standing on the cliff, overlooking the city as the tornado bore down on it. The wind whipping her hair, her face and clothes completely drenched as the rain mixed with the spraying saltwater. Chloe standing in front of her, begging Max to save the city.

She hadn’t wanted to.

But there were too many people in the town who didn’t deserve to die.

So she’d planted a kiss on Chloe’s lips, and made the hardest decision of her life.

Going back through the photo to let her friend die had left her completely broken. The new memories of the week that followed did nothing but rub salt in the wounds. And when she had come to, right before the funeral, it had been everything to keep herself together.

Her parents had arrived at Blackwell right after the memorial. Max hadn’t even known that Victoria had fought with Alyssa; she’d been so out of it, she barely remembered being scooped up and placed in the back seat of her mother’s car. Or being driven directly to a clinic, where a doctor had admitted Max almost immediately. She’d spent three weeks in the facility, unable to explain to the staff why Chloe’s death was her fault.

Luckily, people went to see her. Brooke, and Stella, and Warren. They’d brought her schoolwork with them, and told her all about Victoria. And the rumors that were flying about her cocaine habit. Max never gave them much thought, since the blonde was long gone by the time she returned to Blackwell, with prescriptions for anti-depressants and sleep medication.

It had been months, after the shooting, before she’d decided to try using her powers again.

Max had initially been terrified of causing another storm. But the curiosity had eaten away at her as time went on. Finally, after the holidays, she decided to try again.

The first step had been a selfie. She’d sat herself at her desk, a notepad in front of her, then taken a photo of herself; the reasoning had been that if things started happening, she’d go back to the point of the photo and write a note to stop herself. Step two had been the actual rewind, after smashing a coffee cup against the wall and immediately rewinding to fix it.

Nothing had happened. For two weeks she’d been on edge, checking the weather at every opportunity. But there was no snow, no eclipse, no dead whales, no double moon… and no storms.

She’d tried again, the same thing. The second time, she’d torn a newspaper in half, then rewound. The same result; nothing.

The third and fourth experiments had yielded similar results. The fifth had taken longer. And definitely wasn’t easy.

Max needed to save a life.

She’d waited until Saint Patrick’s Day. A day of the year that usually involved heavy drinking, and a high likelihood of someone driving under the influence. Then she’d downloaded a police scanner onto her phone and started listening.

Oddly, it hadn’t been a drunk driver. Max listened to a dispatcher send a police officer to a bar over reports of a brawl, then listened to the officer request additional units. It hadn’t taken long for her to work out that someone had died. So she rewound to her selfie from earlier in the night and written out what she could, telling herself to call in a report about people fighting.

When she’d returned to her time, she’d caught the tail end of a report about arrests being made at the bar. No fatalities.

The phenomenon had started almost immediately. The next day, snow began to fall while it was in the seventies. Then an eclipse. Max didn’t wait to see if any more dead whales washed up before jumping through the selfie, and writing an incredibly painful sentence in the notebook.

**DO NOT LISTEN TO THE SCANNER. GO TO BED.**

When she’d returned, the odd phenomenon had never happened. A brief check of the local obituaries confirmed that a man had died that night, killed in a bar fight.

She’d been sick, of course. At the thought that she could’ve saved a life, and didn’t. But it had confirmed the rules of her powers; she could travel back and forth all she wanted, so long as she didn’t stop anyone from dying.

Despite knowing that she could use her powers as often as she wanted otherwise, Max still only used them sparingly. She made an effort not to use them to get better grades, or strike it rich at a casino. But she did use them for simple convenience. Making sure she wasn’t standing in a puddle as a car drove by, catching a friend who tripped as they were walking to class, changing lanes before getting cut off on the highway… minor acts, all of them.

Until she got her job as an addiction counselor.

She felt much less guilty about rewinding to help her patients. To get a little extra insight, or going back to stop an argument before it started. Occasionally she wondered if what she was doing qualified as saving lives, but there were never any storms, so she assumed not.

And after a while, using her powers became normal.

* * *

**June, 2019**

**Back at the rehab center**

“Maybe you can’t comprehend what it means, but I have a social life, you fucking wallflower.”

Max ignored the pain in her skull, as she tried what felt like the hundredth different approach. “With who, exactly?” she asked. “Because my understanding is the only people who still talk to you are drug dealers. When was the last time you heard from Taylor or Courtney?”

The blonde’s face practically glowed red with indignation. Or rage. With Victoria, it was hard to tell the difference. “Fuck you,” she snapped, shoving back from the table and standing up. “How do I get out of here?”

“Victoria, people are trying to HELP you!” Max argued. “Nobody wants you to overdose again! You barely survived this one!”

“I don’t want your fucking help.” Victoria glanced over her shoulder. “Is it that way?”

“You can’t leave, Victoria! Your father is-”

“FUCK my father,” she seethed. “I’ve spent my whole life under his thumb. I’m not bowing to his fucking whims through some hipster bitch that thinks she’s better than me.”

“I don’t-”

“Know what? I’ll find my own way out. I’m going home.”

“Victoria!” Max called desperately. “Come back!”

“It’s been fun,” the blonde called over her shoulder. “Let’s never do this again.”

Max exhaled slowly, as her head throbbed. _I don’t know how long I can keep this up,_ she thought as she rubbed her temples. _But I can’t just let her leave. There’s got to be a way to keep her here._

_I’ll figure it out. Better bring her back._

_Again._

Max raised her arm, and time immediately started rewinding. Victoria reappeared after a few seconds, walking backwards while talking in reverse gibberish while sitting back down. Max held the rewind as long as she could, before she let go.

“-staying here for months,” Victoria was saying. “Unlike you, I have a life to get back to.”

“Of what?” Max retorted, probably not as nicely as she should’ve been; her temper was definitely rising with the pain in her head. “Failing online classes?”

“Maybe you can’t comprehend what it means, but I have a social life, you-”

“Oh, yea? Throw a lot of parties, did you?” Max asked. “Invite many people over to your condo to do lines of coke?”

Victoria’s face turned a new shade of red, one Max hadn’t seen yet, and she knew her latest adventure was a bust. “FUCK you and your little failure of a rehab center,” Victoria snarled as she shoved herself back from the table, standing up. “I’m getting the fuck out of here and going back to my condo.”

Max didn’t say anything as Victoria turned. _Fucking hell,_ she thought angrily. _There has to be some way to stop her from going back to her…_

_Huh._

“Your condo’s gone, Victoria.”

The blonde stopped. Max tried to keep a neutral expression on her face as Victoria looked at her. “Excuse me?”

“Your condo. That home you want to go back to. It’s not there.”

“The fuck you mean, it’s not there?” Victoria asked snidely. “Did they move fucking Georgetown while I was away?”

“Your dad sold it,” Max quickly lied. “He said that it was trashed, and that he didn’t want to keep a property that you almost died it. So he put it back on the market, and someone bought it.”

She was completely and totally bluffing. But was satisfied to see Victoria look a little off-balance for a change. “N, he didn’t. That was my place.”

“Was it in your name? Did you pay rent? Or any of the bills?”

The blonde was silent.

“That’s what I thought.”

“Fine. Whatever. I’ll just find a new place.”

Max smirked. _Finally, something I know more about than her. _“Do you have money for first and last months’ rent? A security deposit? What are you going to do as far as references? And I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that since you’ve never had a credit card in your name, you don’t have a credit history, either.”

“I can understand if you don’t seem to remember, Caulfield, but I’m rich.”

“No, you’re not.” Max grew bolder, the more she spoke. “Your parents are rich. You’ve been cut off. And I went through your duffle bag, so I know you don’t have anything of value to sell. What’s your plan to make ends meet?”

“My parents aren’t just going to kick me out on the street. I’m their only kid.”

“And they don’t have anything to show for it, do they?” Max folded her arms. “Call your dad. Ask him what your options are if you leave this place before I say you’re ready. I guarantee that he won’t be sympathetic, because both of your parents are done with your bullshit.”

She watched Victoria’s expression waver for several seconds, her heart in her throat. _Please work, please work, please work…_

Finally, the blonde sighed, as she dragged herself back to the table and sat down heavily.

“Why did you search my bag?” she muttered.

“Making sure you didn’t have any drugs. Standard practice for newcomers.”

“Whatever,” Victoria shook her head. “I really don’t feel like… the hell?”

“What?”

“Your nose is bleeding.”

Max felt her face, just above her lip, and her fingers came away red. “Shit,” she muttered, as she stood and grabbed a napkin. “I need a minute.”

She went straight for the bathroom, closing and locking the door before she leaned against the wall. Her head was pounding like a drum, as she closed her eyes and took shallow breaths.

_Okay. Know what to do now._

_Let’s make it easy._

Max reached into her back pocket and removed the photo she’d taken that morning. She focused on it intently, trying to look deep into the picture.

After a few seconds, the world started losing it’s focus. Before long, a familiar feeling overcame her, like someone reached inside and pulled her by the diaphragm. She felt herself fly forward, into the photo.

She blinked, her vision slowly recovering, and found herself sitting at her kitchen table earlier that morning. A modern instant camera sat on the table in front of her, next to her empty bowl of cereal. And a notebook was in her hands, the picture she’d just looked at taped to a blank page, the date written at the top.

Max picked up a nearby pen and uncapped it. Then she began to write as much as she could.

* * *

**Present Day**

She opened the lockbox to reveal a modern instant camera, one that she’d been using for years; the polaroid camera Victoria had given her, as well as the few film cartridges she could find for it, were on a shelf in their living room. There were also several small notebooks in the box, with the names of her patients written on the front in black marker.

Victoria’s was almost twice as thick as the others.

A smirk crossed her face as she flipped through the early entries. When Victoria had first gotten to the rehab center, Max had taken a selfie every morning when she’d gotten up. If necessary, she’d rewound to write notes for herself. Looking through the early entries was an easy walk down memory lane.

_I can’t believe how often I had to use this._

Sometimes, simple rewinding was enough. Like their walk around the pond a few days later; Max only had to go back a couple of times, to get Victoria to admit that she had a problem. Or when Victoria made amends with Kate, Max had only rewound once, to have Kate mention the country with the server that held her video.

The conversation where she’d gotten Victoria to admit to her own issues was much harder. Max had felt like her head was about to explode a few times. Or the first meeting with her parents; she’d had to stop two different fights between Victoria and her father. Max flipped through those notes as she scrolled through.

She paused on the week that Kate’s fiancé had died. Max’s heart still wrenched at the memory. And the note in black sharpie she’d made.

**YOU KNOW YOU CAN’T SAVE HIM.**

Of course she did. But it didn’t mean she wanted to try.

Max shook her head as she kept going. Eventually stopping at the picture she’d taken the day before she’d been stabbed.

She still remembered feeling the knife slide into her stomach. The shock and pain had thrown her completely off-balance. By the time she’d thought about rewinding, Victoria’s hands were already clamped down on top of hers, the blonde applying too much pressure for Max to put her hand up.

And of course, by the time she’d woken up after surgery, it was too late to just go back.

One of the reasons she’d been so eager to leave the hospital was to get her hands on the picture. To go back in time and write… something. She never had decided what, only that she was going to avoid a lengthy hospital stay and a huge scar.

Of course, she’d fallen asleep as soon as she’d gotten back. When she’d finally tried to get to the notebook, the pain in her stomach wound had been too much, and she’d collapsed.

_Knew I should’ve kept the notebook in my nightstand._

Max shook her head as she looked at the blank page. After Victoria’s confession, Max had lay awake for hours, wrestling with herself. She’d been extremely conflicted about whether she should go back, avoiding everything.

But she’d wanted what they had too much. And she always figured she could go back later, if she wanted to. So when she finally did get up, rather than retrieve the notebook from the top shelf of her closet, she’d gone to Victoria’s room instead.

She had never been more thankful that she’d made that choice.

Max continued flipping through the notebook, finally stopping at the last entry. Before then, she hadn’t added a photo to the notebook in years. But she’d taped a new photo in just a week prior. She smirked as she scooted closer to the desk.

_Let’s do this._

She focused on the photo intently, and felt the familiar feeling of being pulled by her diaphragm. After several seconds, she blinked, her vision clearing as she looked around. She was back in her office, but with minor differences. Her coffee cup was in a different place, some paperwork had been moved around… and the engagement ring was on the desk in front of her, glinting from the dark velvet box.

It was the morning before she’d proposed, twelve hours or so before Max had convinced Victoria to take her to the top of the Space Needle.

She didn’t even know why she’d taken the photo. Max was pretty sure Victoria was going to say yes. But she had, so Max was going to deal with it. She picked up the pen, uncapping it as she poised to begin writing, her thoughts gathering as she decided what she wanted to tell herself.

**We’re supposed to be done with this.**

Max smirked as she kept going.

**You don’t need this photo. You haven’t needed photos for her in a long time. The only reason we’re here is because, despite that fact that we’ve been with her for years, we still have baseless insecurities about our relationship.**

**I’m not telling you what happens. That’ll ruin the surprise. But she’s going to be difficult about it. Just…**

Max paused, trying to think about what to write; she didn’t want to give too much away, but she didn’t want her past self to spend twenty exasperating minutes trying to convince Victoria to visit the top of the Space Needle.

**… hell. I’m sure you can figure out what she needs to hear.**

**Oh, and tell her to bring her jacket. It’s gonna get cold tonight, and if you give her yours, you’ll freeze your ass off.**

Max smirked as she closed the book, letting time take her back.

* * *

When she came too, the book was gone.

Everything else was the same, except that there was paperwork in front of her; the contract she was supposed to be looking over. A quick check showed that the lockbox was still securely tucked away in it’s drawer, next to an empty ring box.

Max shrugged as she put the paperwork away. _Guess I took my own advice._

She left the office, closing the door behind her as she went back into their bedroom. Her fiancée was still curled up under the covers, though she opened an eye as Max closed the door behind her. “You done?” she asked sleepily.

“Yep.” Max sat down on the bed. “You want to get up yet?”

“No.” Victoria reached out, grabbing for Max’s arm. “Come ‘ere.”

_Eh. I don’t mind staying in for a little bit._

Max let herself get pulled back under the covers, and she scooted backwards as she nestled back into Victoria. “When do we want to get up?”

“Later,” Victoria muttered. “Back to sleep.”

Max chuckled. “Okay,” she agreed, letting her head sink into the pillow. She yawned again as she closed her eyes. “Love you.”

A pair of lips kissed the back of her neck, as Victoria tightened her grip on Max.

“Love you too.” The blonde whispered. “My little… partner in time.”

Max’s eyes flew open.

_… WHAT?!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I noticed a few of you guys picked up the subtle hints I dropped. Well done. :)
> 
> Unfortunately, I don't have another story waiting in the wings this time. I've got a couple that are half-finished, but between work and my own grad school classes, life has gotten a lot more hectic for me recently. So I'm not sure when I'll be able to post a new fic.
> 
> Until then, I hope you all enjoyed it.


	55. Pt 2

I was done with this story. I really was.

And then I got stuck thinking about what would come next.

I have other stuff to do. I'm taking grad school classes. I wrote 19 papers last semester. While working full-time. And trying to help my wife get her start-up business off the ground.

Sometimes being this creative is a real bitch.

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy having a Part 2. POSSIBLY even a Part 3.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24571069/chapters/59340307


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